The Road to Recovery pt. 3
"But, Dad!" I heard Katara cry, I looked to the igloo from my position on the sled. "No! You can't go!"
"I'm sorry, Katara, but the Earth Kingdom needs our help. We have to go."
I inhaled deeply, and held it for a second then exhaled. I knew what they were arguing about, and I couldn't do much to ease her mind. She had cried in my tent in frustration when the news was first broken to the tribe a few days ago. Now that the men were packing up the ships and getting ready to load up, it has reopened the old wounds. I spotted Sokka trying to pack up his stuff to load onto the ships as well. I already knew that he wasn't going to be going with his father, but I couldn't be the one to tell him that. Only Hakoda could do that.
"But... But... You can't! I can't lose you too!" I heard her cry, and my heart went out to her and Sokka. "It's not fair!"
"Katara!" Hakoda called after her. I watched as she ran by, tears in her eyes as her dad continued to call after her. "Katara, wait!"
"Alright, Korra. Let's get you up and ready for another session." Noaidi spoke, breaking me out of my thoughts as she helped me out of my sled. I gripped her arm, using it to hold myself up as I was pulled off the sled. Noaidi helped me move to the training mounds for another walking session. I was doing pretty good and could take a couple of steps on my own without help, but needed a little bit of a warm up to get there first. My hands gripped the makeshift walls, using them more for balance than holding my body up, willing my legs to move on their own. I moved across the walls with a decent speed, it was still slow, but I could do it, before reaching the end and turning around to go back. When I reached my starting point I spotted Hakoda walking out of the igloo, his eyes tired and sad for a brief second before he looked at me.
"Well, look at this, you're walking pretty well now." A sad smile on his face.
"She has come a long way since you found her in the snow." Noaidi spoke from somewhere behind me. I looked over my shoulder to watch as Noaidi walked up to stand beside me. "I think she will be able to walk on her own soon."
"Really?" I asked, hope surging through me like a tidal wave.
"Really now?" Hakoda stroked his chin thoughtfully, "That's great news. I have to say, Noaidi, you have done a great job helping Korra."
"Thank you, Hakoda, that means a lot. But I only guided our newcomer, Korra had to do most of the work herself."
I smiled at the praise. I was so close, and it was a great feeling. I knew what he and Noaidi were thinking though, I was almost able to walk, meaning I was going to be a big help once they all left. After all, I knew a lot about living in the south pole.
"Thank you, sir." I smiled back. There was something else on his mind, I could tell. My dad always wore a similar expression when he was deep in thought.
"Korra," He started off, pulling back to think about his words again.
"Yes?"
"I know it is a lot to ask-"
"I'll watch over them." I responded immediately. "They are like the siblings that I never had. I'll do my best to take care of them."
His shoulders slumped with relief, "Thank you. I know it is a lot to ask, but I appreciate it. I'm sure they feel the same way about you."
"You might want to let Sokka know he isn't going before he loads everything up onto the boats though..." I looked out to the ice docks where the boats were stationed. He followed my gaze, spotting Sokka trying to carry a pack of supplies to one to the ships. Hakoda nodded before walking over to Sokka to talk with him.
"Well, if you are going to be watching over those two, we need to get you up to your full strength." Noaidi called from behind me.
"Right. Lets get to work."
The two of us sat there for a while, and it was probably way past dinner by now. The sun however didn't think so as it stayed put in its position in the lower portion of the sky. It may have looked like it was only five in the afternoon, but it was probably closer to ten or eleven at night.
"We should head back. I don't want everyone getting worried about me…" I sighed, not really wanting to leave this spot. I felt Asami nod against the top of my head, her movements signaling that she was beginning to stand. I copied her, standing and turning to look back towards the way we both came.
"Did you follow me on foot?" I really hoped that she didn't, but given how long it felt like it took for her to catch up, she probably did. I felt bad about that.
"Yes, but hopefully we won't need to travel on foot for the way back." A small rwar caught my attention, turning to the sound, I spotted Naga sitting happily with her tail wagging enthusiastically behind her. She leaped at me when we made eye contact, and I couldn't help but laugh at the amount of kisses she gave me.
"No, we won't." I laughed and I hugged my companion, "Come on, let's go home."
Eventually, Naga let me go so that we could head back. I double checked the straps on her saddle before hopping on it myself. I pulled Asami up onto Naga's saddle, her arms wrapped loosely around my waist as I motioned for Naga to begin walking.
"Thanks, Asami. For everything."
"Of course, Korra. Anytime you want to talk, I'll be here for you."
"I've never had a girl friend before. Besides Naga. It's kinda nice." I mused, to talk to another girl that was my age was something different. But it was a good different, and I liked it.
"I agree." She giggled in my ear. I liked the sound of her laughing.
"So how long do you think talking to Mako is going to be like pulling teeth?"
"Uh... about that... While you were gone, we kinda kissed..."
I raised my eyebrow at that, only to bust out laughing. "That makes so much sense!"
"You're not mad?"
"No, I mean technically, I kissed him while you two were dating so I think were even."
"You what?"
I paled as my body stiffened. "Oh my god! I'msosorry! I thought you knew!"
She laughed at my reaction. "It's fine, I already knew, he told me what happened."
"Really? You were never angry with me after that?" I turned my head to try and look over my shoulder at her, curious at the admission.
"I was upset, but I could tell that Mako was beating himself up for it and you had been keeping your distance after that. I couldn't be that mad with the obvious attempts of you trying to keep your distance for my sake and our relationship." She explained.
"Well, I'm glad we still could make it out of that ordeal in one piece. I've heard less than stellar outcomes from similar stories."
"Yes, the famed Love triangle at its finest." She paused, letting the conversation drift into silence.
"Is... is everything okay?"
"Yeah, just thinking. You were right. It is nice to have a girl friend to talk too about this stuff."
I sat up from my dream/memory, it was a nice escape from the current situation I was in right now. A smile graced my lips while I moved to sit up on my own, the images fading softly, or at least that portion of the memory was... the rest wasn't that great. I did miss Asami, I wonder what she would do in this situation.
I had plateaued a few weeks after the men left to fight in the war. According to Noaidi it has kept me there for two months now. There was something that was holding me back from fully recovering and both of us didn't know what it was. It was frustrating to say the least, because I could move around without any help, and even began teaching Katara some stances for waterbending as well, but every once in a while something would act up.
"Who's Asami? Your girlfriend?"
"Wha-" I rubbed my eyes, turning to look at Noaidi. A look of shock plastered across my face once I realized what she had asked. I could feel the heat trying to rush to my face as the second part of the sentence finally processed.
"You keep saying that name in your sleep. Asami." She clarified, causing me to frown. "I figured she was important to you. Best friend, girlfriend...?"
"She's not my girlfriend, just a friend that happens to be a girl. I don't wanna talk about it." I crossed my arms and looked away with a pout, a light blush dusting my cheeks. I couldn't help it, Asami had been on my mind a lot more before I was transported into the past. We were pretty close, she was my best friend, only girl friend but...
"You will need to talk about it at some point. Might I suggest writing your problems down somewhere. Might help, might not, but it's worth a shot."
"How do you know?" I looked back at her, arms still crossed in front of me.
"I don't, but your problems are more than just physical. Sometimes the pain we can't see is the one that is hardest to heal. You are suffering from something within yourself, and I'm beginning to think that this mental issue is what's holding you back." That sounded like something old Katara would say to me…
"It's not holding me back, I can walk again, I'd say I'm doing pretty well-"
"That may be, but you have been stuck at this point in your recovery for a while now, something that you should have overcome weeks ago, if your other progress is any indication to your will to recover… but you seemed to have plateaued, now whether it's because of a metal block or guilt, I don't know, but you need to sort it out."
"Guilt? Guilt?! What on earth would I be guilty about?"
"Probably the lie about not being a waterbender." Her gaze bore into mine as she spoke, and I could feel my stomach sink while my heart leaped into my throat.
"I-Idon'tknowwhatyourtalkingabout."
She only raised an eyebrow at me, as if she was reading my mind while doing so. I had to look away, feeling the burning shame as it reached my face.
"Of course not…" She mused, the rustling of the furs seemed much louder than normal as she sat down next to me. "I've been watching you teach Katara the basics now that you can move around without assistance, you may not water bend, but I know a waterbender when I see one. My aunt was a waterbender, but she was taken by the Fire Nation during a raid a long time ago. It's obvious that you are a waterbender as well. So why lie?"
"Because… I can't waterbend anymore." I felt tears forming in my eyes at the thought. Amon's mask flashed on the back of my eye lids.
"You can't waterbend anymore?" She seemed surprised by my revelation, I could see it in her eyes.
"I lost my connection to the element. It was taken from me..."
A knowing look appeared shortly after.
"It happened just before Hakoda found you?"
I only nodded my head, tears freely falling from my cheeks. There was some more rustling before I was wrapped up in a gentle embrace, which I returned fiercely, burying my head into her shoulder.
"Shhhhh… It will be alright, just let it out." I felt the soothing motions of her hand on my back, and slowly my hiccups slowed. All the shame and frustration of my failure against my Uncle, against Amon, against Zaheer, it all made me feel like I wasn't worthy of even being the Avatar. So I cried, let it all out like Noaidi said to, pulling myself closer to her in an effort to hide my tears. I let all my pain out, everything I had tried to bury that day when Asami and I were ambushed.
Noaidi held me close for the rest of the day, letting me feel safe and comfortable during the rare moments of vulnerability I showed.
"Here." she produced a few small pages of parchment from her wares, "It was left over from some of my supplies. I will never use them. If you want to use it to write stuff down, go for it. It might help to write this pain down if you don't what to talk about it yet."
"Thank you." I shuffled them around, "Do you have some ink?"
"I'm sure I have some squid ink somewhere." She pulled away to search for some ink, producing some after a few minutes of searching. I took it from her, along with a brush. This was probably going to be sloppy, but it was better than nothing.
Present Day Kalaalit City, South Pole
The world was in a state of chaos.
Yet all I could do was stare at the box Katara had given to me earlier today before Korra's funeral, my hands encased by black gloves I wore for the service. The breeze from the window probably felt nice, but I was too trapped within my own mind to notice anything else. It had been almost a year since she disappeared, and at first we didn't believe Zaheer...
But now…
I shook my head with the intention of clearing the negative thoughts from my head. Sobs finding their temporary home in my throat. Zaheer and his followers killed the Earth Queen, and they claimed to have killed Korra, but her body was never found...
She still hasn't been found, but evidence has shown up to suggest that maybe Zaheer was telling the truth. It was hard to think that it could have been possible... to think that Korra could be gone. It was impossible, but we all saw the portal lights.
And now… Now it doesn't seem so far-fetched. The cave, the poison, the lava… It was all there like Zaheer had said, but Korra wasn't. They said there was a fight once they had administered the poison, and the cave showed obvious signs of an intense battle. And even then, even in the signs of the struggle, we knew that she didn't die there. The battle had moved from the cave to the snowy ground above and the signs of battle were much more difficult to find since Zaheer was an Airbender, but so was Korra. And after her battle with Amon in Ba-Sing-Se…
I felt a single tear roll down my left cheek, a chocked sob being released from its home.
She could only Airbend, her connections to the other elements had been severed. She had to fight them all while only being able to Airbend. No wonder they went after her so quickly, she was an easy target.
The day the Red Lotus ambushed us had been the worst day of my life. By the time I had woken up, Korra was no where in sight and the Airbenders had taken me back to Katara's healing hut. None of us had expected the Red Lotus to attack as soon as they did, especially here in the South Pole. By the time I woke up and explained what had happened it was too late to mount an effective rescue. We all saw the spirit portal light up the already bright sky, and hurried to its location only to find nothing but a war zone. More tears freed themselves from the memories. I guess we eventually realized that Korra was never coming back, despite how much we wanted her to… I wanted her too.
It's not fair! Korra still had so much to live for! I wrapped my arms around myself as I cried quietly.
Korra had done so much in such little time. She took down the Equalist movement, reunited the Physical world with the Spirit world, eased Vatuu into a state of peace, and had restored balance between the four elements. Hell, she had even began to learn metalbending. Not to mention, the Airbending nation had been restored due to the spirit portals being left open, and I know that Tenzin would be so proud of her. Aang would be too, he probably never would have imagined that his entire culture could have been restored just by leaving the Spirit portals open after Harmonic Convergence. She had done so much in the short time I had known her.
"Asami?" I wiped the tears from my face, hoping to hide any evidence of despair before turning to the sound of my name. The box next to me rattled as I moved to place it on the floor by my feet, Korra's funeral/memorial service being too fresh in my mind to open the box.
"Mako."
"Are you okay?" He moved across the room to be next to me. He eyed the box, but said nothing, afraid to upset me further.
"No. I'm not. Everything is wrong. So, so wrong." I tried to fight the tears, but they over powered me, droplets spilling from my face as I shook my head. I felt Mako pull me into his arms, and I buried my face in his chest, crying as my emotions washed through me at full force. "I just… miss her."
"I miss her too, Asami."
What was the world going to do without its Avatar?
What was I going to do without Korra?
Hey look! I live! I apologize for the long delay (holy shit, half a year... damn...), but you know how life gets sometimes... It hit me light a freight train and didn't let up. Hopefully this semester of school isn't the same, well, I'm not working this semester so I'll have a lot more free time to write! YAY! :D
I will say, I did have some trouble with the construction of this chapter, and after my impromptu hiatus, it is possible that some characters are OOC. Sorry if that is the case, this chapter was driving me crazy and I just need to post it and be done with it so I can move on to the next chapter.
So... hopefully the AU Korra aspect has been somewhat revealed. I know it's all confusing, but for what I have planned I needed to switch around the order of the big bosses and their plans to take over the world and such. Season 4 is basically going to remain untouched, in fact think of this as that gap between season 3 and season 4 just with everything between S1-S3 scrambled. Sorry if that throws you all off or diminishes your expectations of the story... I tried to hint at the AU scramble in an a few of the earlier chapters, but it could have been too subtle. My apologies if that's the case. I have a general layout of the AU season order written down, if you would like to see it, just PM me and I'll send it to you. I may make adjustments to it as it is just a general outline, a lot of the finer points are issues, but I'll try to straighten them out as soon as I can. I have been on a LoK binge session (I own all four seasons) to hammer those out as we speak...
What can I say, I like to torture the characters in the best way possible. If you are following my author page, you'll know that I have another story in the works as well, however, this one will take priority over that one. That being said, the next chapter for When we Fall is almost ready to be posted, so that should be up soon.
You all think I am joking when I say PM me if I don't update in a while, I'm not. Spam me with PM's if I disappear like that again, cause I get distracted easily.
Yea, so if you all are still going to hang on for the ride, we should be getting into Book One Water here within the next two chapters. Yay! I'm so excited for that. So until then, Peace!