It's short, but hopefully sweet!
I.
She's glad that none of her friends took her up on the offer to sit with her through Jesse's rehearsal for Romeo and Juliet.
She is sure that Mitra and the others would not have been able to withhold comment on the palpable chemistry between Jesse and his co-star, Autumn, not to mention the lingering glances and the way she hugs him in between scenes.
Correction – the way he lets her hug him in between scenes.
Of course, if it had been necessary, she would have waxed poetic about her boyfriend's immense acting talent, and denied any sort of jealousy on her part. It's what any loyal girlfriend in a secure, committed relationship would do.
And she's not jealous.
She's not.
It's just that she's paying him to act, and he can obviously perform so much better than he's been performing for her.
Unless he's not performing.
Oh, God.
Their first kiss, as scripted, took place after he walked her home from the library on Sunday evening. It had been short, impersonal, and not at all what she remembers their kisses to be like.
A girl tends to remember the best kisses of her life. It's not a conscious decision, and there were times when she was with Finn that she would have preferred to be able to forget, but it is what it is, and she knows for a fact that whatever they had shared in front of her dorm had not been a Rachel and Jesse kiss.
She was sort of glad no one had been around to witness that, either.
Maybe he's saving all of the passion and intensity she's remembering for Autumn.
The proof is in the kiss.
She spends the entire two-hour rehearsal trying to decipher whether or not there is something going on between her boyfriend, and his decidedly pretty and talented (you'll never get her to admit that last part out loud) co-star instead of doing the Calculus problem set she has to turn in first thing in the morning.
However, she momentarily forgets her anger when, after the director yells cut for the night, he calls her over and literally pulls her on-stage, introducing her to everyone as "his girlfriend," with a kiss to the cheek and a arm perpetually holding her firmly at his side.
The kiss on the cheek feels dreadfully weak after what just transpired on stage between Jesse and Autumn, but no one seems to pick up on it except her.
She introduces herself to Autumn and makes small talk, because it's what the loyal girlfriend in a secure, committed relationship would (has to) do.
II.
"Why are you pissed at me?"
His question comes out of nowhere, and she literally startles out of a lounging position on her bed.
It's snowing, and they both have major assignments coming up, so they decided to forego the movies for a Friday night study date instead.
For the last hour, he has been sitting at her desk, typing on his computer, and she has been pretending to read one of her lit books.
'Pretending' being the operative word because she's still dwelling on Autumn, wondering if there is more going on between them, despite being reluctant to ask.
She's going to have to rethink the timing of their dates if he's going to have this negative an effect on her productivity.
Anyway, now he's looking at her knowingly, and says "Yeah, right" when she tells him that she is "Not mad, and everything is fine."
"Are you kidding me Rachel? I know when you're upset. You haven't flipped a page in about half-an-hour."
Okay, he's got her there, and she decides to just screw it, and ask him directly.
She is the boss of this relationship. (The business one, not the personal one. Not that there is a personal one. Right.)
"Are you sleeping with Autumn?"
"No," he says curtly, and then turns back towards the computer screen.
As if. He's not escaping that easily.
"Yeah, right," she says, echoing his tone from earlier.
He curses, and spins her chair around abruptly so that he faces where she's sitting on the bed.
"It's called acting, Rachel. Or have you forgotten what that is?"
His tone is icy, and this could get dangerous, she knows.
"Exactly, my point," she says in an angry whisper, mindful of escalating tones in a dorm full of prying girls. "I'm paying you for a service, and you're obviously capable of a much better performance than you have been delivering to me. If you're unable to make being my boyfriend believable, then we need to do something about that right now."
"I'm following the script perfectly," he whispers back spitefully. "It's not my fault that the writer has never had experience with a loving, passionate relationship, and her descriptions come across as lifeless and, how can I put this? …Limp."
She recognizes the insults hidden within his words, most of them targeted at Finn. Honestly, she has enough issues with Finn without Jesse criticizing their lack of passion, too.
Still, before she can formulate an adequate response, he continues. "Obviously, your script needs work. Here we are, two teenagers in college, star-crossed lovers apparently in your world, on a Friday night, with an empty dorm room, and we're sitting here studying."
She crosses her arms and glares at him. And, he's still not done. "God, I almost feel sorry for you. Finn must have…"
"OKAY!," she interrupts, and, miraculously, her words are still more on the whisper end of the spectrum. "Then let's talk about what the real issue is here – the fact that you're just not attracted to me as much as you are to her, and you likely never were."
It's more than she meant to say, and, though her tone is firm, her eyes betray her as they cloud with unexpected tears.
He, for his part, is stunned. "How the hell can you even think that? Do you even remember the nights we spent together in your room? Or did Finn wipe even memories of passion from your head?"
"It was all a game to you then," she accuses him, "You wanted me to sleep with you, an easy lay, and when you realized I wasn't going to, you stopped trying to seduce me. You didn't even think it was worth it to make the effort."
"It was clear you wanted Finn, Rachel. It was never me. I could see that. The whole world could see it. Why waste my time?"
"Exactly," she concurs. "I was never pretty or sexy enough for you. Not then. Not now. You can't kiss me like you kiss her. Maybe we should just call this whole thing off."
For a long time, there is silence, and she follows the seam of her bedspread all the way to the floor.
She only looks up when she feels his weight press into her mattress, and at the same time she hears her book and notebook fall to the ground as he pushes them off the bed.
"Come here," he says ominously.
This is the danger she could sense earlier.
Fright or flight, Rachel. Fright or flight?
She doesn't move.
He literally pulls her towards him by her legs, and looks her square in the eye as he kisses her on the lips.
A chaste kiss, but full of promise and desire, just like she had scripted their first kiss to be.
But instead of stopping there, he kisses the side of her neck, and moves further south to her collar-bone, then the top of her breasts.
She drops her head on top of his, absolutely lost in the sensation.
"Jesse," she breathes lightly.
It's even better than she remembers.
He stops so that he can look her in the eye.
"Say yes," he instructs her, threading his hand through her hair.
She doesn't trust her words so she nods, but it has the intended effect.
He's truly kissing her now, and this script, this soundtrack, god, it's better than she could have ever fantasized.
He urges her to lie back on the bed, and he settles on top of her, snugly between her legs, and she doesn't think that anyone could ever script this sort of perfection.
His hand has dared to go under her shirt, just circling the clasp of her bra when Mitra barges into the room without knocking, and an "Oh shit. Sorry," before she hurriedly closes the door and walks out.
It distracts Jesse enough that he stops kissing Rachel, and she groans in protest.
He chuckles at her, presses a kiss to her nose before he speaks. "I guess that had the intended effect. She's probably telling all the girls right," kiss, "about," kiss, "now."
She falters for a minute when she realizes that he could still be playing the game, but then she rocks her hips into his and feels how hard he is against her.
She arches her neck up to kiss him again.
"I don't care," she tells him, and, for the first time since they started this whole thing, she might actually believe it.
Thank you for sticking with this story! They were never supposed to get to this point so quickly, but I think I just needed St. Berry sexy times to improve my mood.