Hello, hello, hello! I told you I'd get this finished someday. Well, we're one chapter closer now. Can you believe this fanfic is over 100k words already? Buckle in, folks. This chapter is angst. Most of it has been sitting on my laptop for months, waiting for me to tie it up with a ribbon and link all the scenes together. We're only a few more chapters (4 in fact) away from some big revelations. I find it hard to step back into these characters after a break from writing, but I hope this chapter keeps a steady flow. I ended up focusing on Lee a little more than I thought I would initially, but I think Pandora would fundamentally change his relationship with Laura and Bill – especially in the upcoming chapters. We're going to get a lot more of Pandora in the next few chapters, hence why she becomes more of a background focus in this.
Chapter 24: SINE QUA NON
The gates of hell had opened on Galactica.
It was a muddled scene of military personnel rushing down the corridor, dodging the medics shouting ahead of them as they pushed the trolley towards the sick bay. Word had spread fast of the shooting, the corridors starting to feel claustrophobic as more people spilt into them.
The crowd parted like the red sea.
"Where's my daughter?" Bill shouted, his voice bombing through the sick bay.
He had practically run from the CIC. The junior officer who had come to fetch him hadn't made much sense. All Bill could understand was that Sharon Agathon was holding a cylon at gunpoint with his daughter and Hera caught in the middle. He was halfway there when someone told him that 'everyone' had gone to the sick bay.
For a moment, he had visions of Pandora bleeding out on an operating table. He could practically hear the child calling out for him. It was a scene that had greeted him in almost every nightmare over the last few months.
His nightmare was always the idea of losing Laura. Now, that nightmare included losing Pandora as well.
Bill's mind was still racing. His heart pumping loud enough for him to hear it in his ears. Had she been shot? Was she caught up in the crossfire?
Losing one child almost killed him. Losing another would be the death of him.
Had someone gotten a message to Laura?
Gods, Laura. She was going to throw Sharon Agathon out of the airlock.
Before Bill knew it, Saul was standing in front of him, grasping him by the lapels of his jacket to calm him down. "She's okay, Pandora's okay," The XO said, trying to bring his friend back down to Earth. His hands pressed against the man's chest as he held him in place.
Saul watched as his shoulders dropped, his breathing becoming shallow as though the weight of the world was being lifted from his shoulders.
Bill felt like sobbing as the fear left his body.
Pandora was okay. Whatever else had happened, Pandora was okay.
"Where is she? Where's my daughter?" Bill asked, his eyes scanning around the sick bay. There was a trail of blood leading to the makeshift surgery room, a group of officers guarding the door. His vision was finally focusing as his breath regulated itself. The sick bay was somewhere he knew like the back of his hand – they spent almost as much time in there with Laura as in their private quarters.
"The girls are in your quarters - I've put three guards on the door. Pandora's waiting for you," Saul explained, watching as the colour slowly started to return to Bill's cheeks. The man had just experienced one of the most hell-ridden moments in his life. Saul had known him long enough to know that what Bill needed was to see his daughter with his own eyes.
Especially now. Especially with Laura off the ship. The news of the cylon base ship jumping away had already reached the sick bay through several of the officers who had come to guard the surgery room.
No sooner had Bill started to process the fact that the Cylon ship had jumped away - seemingly with his wife on board - than he had been told about the incident with Sharon and the Six.
"Go to her, Bill," Saul coaxed, watching as Bill swayed on his feet, his eyes blinking as he tried to process everything. "I'll keep everything running under you get a chance to see her," He added, knowing that moments like this were when Bill felt torn between his duty as an Admiral and his responsibilities as a father.
Bill turned his head to look at Saul, grabbing the man by the arm to steady himself. "Laura…" He said, breathing his wife's name, "Laura was on the cylon base ship, it jumped away - I'm guessing when all this happened…" He explained, struggling to find his words as his mind tried to process everything that had happened.
This was the very last thing they needed. It was almost enough to push the old man off the edge. Saul grabbed Bill's arm and pushed him towards the door, "Go to your daughter, I'll be in the CIC".
As Bill walked to his quarters, he wondered where all these guards had been when his daughter had ended up between a gun and a cylon. Pandora was a high-value target. She never should have been put in that situation.
"Admiral," One of the guards greeted him, standing to attention as he gave Bill a salute. Another guard stepped forward to open the door, letting Bill walk straight through. Bill nodded his head, biting his tongue to stop him from reprimanding the guards.
Saul was right. Pandora was okay.
She was more than okay - for now. Bill knew this tranquillity wouldn't last long.
Pandora had no idea that her mother was gone. Bill was convinced the pair had some telepathic connection, as though a string connected them. Pandora always seemed to know when something was wrong with Laura, even before he did. Her ability to read Laura's emotions had left the girl glued to her side since the return of her sickness. It wouldn't take her long to realise her mother was missing.
Pandora sat crossed-legged on the floor, Hera beside her as they giggled with each other. The colouring books and pens were spread across the floor, along with Pandora's beads. The girls looked as carefree as any other children, but it wouldn't last.
"Papa!" Pandora smiled, giggling as her father picked her up from the floor. Bill pulled her to his chest, tucking her head under his neck as he took a moment to assure himself that she was okay. She looked just as happy as she had been that morning.
Tyrol cleared his throat as he stepped out of the shadows in the corner of the room. Bill raised his head to look at the man, instinctively tightening his grip on Pandora.
"Sir," Tyrol nodded his head as he stepped forward slowly, knowing the older man would be on edge. "The girls were far enough away when it happened," He said, answering Bill's unspoken question. "Athena asked me to take them away," Tyrol explained, watching as Bill placed Pandora back on the ground.
Bill smoothed the top of Pandora's hair, thanking the gods that Tyrol had been there. He was one of the few people Sharon Agathon would have trusted with Hera. If Tyrol hadn't been there…
It didn't bear thinking about what could have happened.
"Let me know if there's anything else I can do to help, Admiral," Tyrol added, feeling a need to see his own child as he walked out of the Admiral's quarters. He looked over his shoulder as Bill sat himself down on the sofa, his eyes fixed on Pandora - as though afraid she might disappear in front of his eyes.
As though she might disappear as easily as the President did.
Bill waited for Pandora to go down for her nap before he told the guards on duty that he was going to the brig. "Watch her this time," He called over his shoulder, hoping that the whole affair had put everyone on high alert.
Sharon Agathon was staring at the door as he walked into the brig, as though she had been expecting him. "Sir," she said, nodding her head in place of a salute with her hands cuffed in front of her.
"Why do you hate your people so much?" Bill asked, stopping only a few steps from the door, keeping his distance from the pilot. "That you look for any excuse to kill one or did you deliberate try to sabotage this truce?"
"No, sir, of course not," Sharon insisted, feeling the metal of the cuffs digging into his skin as she struggled against them.
"Then you tell me why you put my child at risk - as well as your own," Bill snarled, realising just how close he had come to losing his daughter. How easily Pandora could have gotten caught up in the crossfire. By now, he had crossed the room to stand toe-to-toe with Sharon Agathon.
"They were going to take them. The Six. She was going to take the girls." Sharon fought back, begging him to see sense. Pandora was at just as much of a risk as Hera was. Couldn't he see that?
If the President was there, she would understand. Laura would know.
"There were too many witnesses," Bill rebuked, knowing that there was no way anyone would let a cylon off the ship with Pandora. "They all said the same thing. Pandora and Hera were lost and the cylon merely kneed down and was talking to them." He recounted, having read Saul's incident report.
Sharon shook her head, "Maybe that's what it looked like to them, but I know. I had a vision - a vision where the Six and Baltar were taking the girls," She revealed, unaware if the President had shared their joint visions with her husband.
"A vision?" He repeated. Bill Adama seemed to be living his life by prophecies and visions. All of which seemed to be set on ripping his family apart. He turned away from Sharon, feeling his anger bubbling below the surface. The injustice of it all turned his stomach.
Clearly the visions Laura was experiencing were being shared by Sharon as well. It explained why she was waking up in the middle of the night. Why he had found her standing over Pandora's cot on more than one occasion.
Why hadn't she told him? How many more secrets had she been keeping from him?
"The President has been having the same visions – at the same time as me," Sharon exclaimed, her voice louder now as she spoke faster, trying to make the Admiral see things from her point of view. "When I saw them together, I knew they would take the girls, I knew they would take away MY CHILD" She screamed, daring the man to turn around and look at her.
Bill struggled to keep a grip on his temper. Every time he closed his eyes, he could see Pandora standing in front of the gun. He could see Laura disappearing in a jump on the cylon base ship.
"You murdered an unarmed woman and by doing so, you put the lives of every single person in this fleet at risk," Bill paused, inching closer to Sharon, "and quite possibly cost the lives of my wife and your husband," he said, laying the truth plainly in front of her.
Sharon had just as much at stake as him – but he was the one who felt betrayed.
"But most importantly, you betrayed a promise to me," Bill whispered, shaking his head as he stepped back from the woman. "Please don't take Hera away," Sharon begged, her eyes filling with tears as she imagined what might happen to a half-cylon child without her parents there to protect her.
"I'm afraid the brig is no place for a little girl," Bill said, turning on his heel as he left the room. He would deal with Sharon later.
Now, he had to shift his focus back to finding Laura.
The radio was playing low in the background as Lee nursed the last sips of his whisky. He had come to blows with Zarek about who should resume the presidency in Laura's absence.
Lee had found himself feeling protective of the woman. The gods knew they had a rocky relationship – but she was his father's wife, Pandora's mother. He owed her at least his loyalty on this.
The glass hit hard against the worktop as he unscrewed the bottle top, once again re-filling his whisky.
Reaching over to the radio, Lee turned the volume up, letting Zarek's voice fill the room, "We have a political power couple reigning supreme," the Vice President crooned. "And I don't think all is right with that daughter of theirs either," Zarek added, the gears audibly turning in his head as he voiced his long-held suspicions. There was something about that girl that wasn't natural.
Lee's grip tightened on his whisky glass before he slung back his liquid courage. Taking a shot at his father was one thing, going after Pandora was another. He slammed the glass down on the counter before heading in search of his father.
Bill didn't go straight back to Pandora. He couldn't bring himself to see her just yet. For now, he'd let her sleep peacefully under the belief that her mother was simply working. He wouldn't tell Pandora until he had to.
He visited the raptor that had been returned, investigating it for any signs of Laura. All he found was her copy of 'Searider Falcon' with burned edges. There was no denying it was the shuttle that Laura had taken to the base ship – but it wasn't proof that Laura was dead.
No, he'd feel it in his bones if Laura was dead.
He would search every inch of the debris field until he found her. Found anything that would lead the way to her.
Cottle met him at the door of the sick bay. "I was wondering when you'd make another appearance here," he said, lighting his cigarette as he guided the man into his office.
"How long does she have?" Bill asked, cutting to the chase. He knew how much Laura relived on her medicine to get through the day. It was the only thing giving her enough strength to keep up appearances. He knew he needed to find her, but he needed to know how fast he had to move to the ship.
Cottle took a puff of his cigarette before shrugging his shoulders, "Hard to say," He began, leaning back against his desk as he thought aloud. "She'll actually feel better to start - a burst of energy - but then it'll start to kick her in the ass," He explained, thinking it over in his head.
"Any break gives the cancer a chance to re-group, makes it that much harder to fight back, plus she's taken a hit to her immune system, so she's vulnerable to infections" Cottle added, knowing that he wasn't painting the brightest of pictures for the Admiral.
Bill looked down at his wedding band, "how long?" He asked.
"Let's just say, the sooner you get her back here, the better her chances are," Cottle explained, giving Bill the reassurance that he needed that there was no time to waste in finding Laura. Not even the devil himself could have stopped him from searching for her.
By the time Pandora woke up from her nap, Bill had finally brought himself to tell her the truth – or a version of it. Laura was away on a diplomatic mission, and they had lost radio signal. Pandora saw everyone the same – cylon and humans. There was no need to tell her any more than that.
He couldn't bring himself to sit in his quarters without Laura there. Bill had become too accustomed to the smell of her lavender shampoo hanging in the air. Her stack of books sitting beside their bed. The way she made her presence known in every inch of their living space.
Instead, Bill took Pandora and Hera with him to the flight deck to watch the preparations for the next round of searches. He watched from the viewing deck as Pandora and Hera stood with Tyrol, trying on the pilot helmets as the man explained different parts of the ship to them.
"Dad,"
Bill turned as he heard Lee's voice, watching as the man came to rest beside him, leaning against the barrier. "I was expecting you to be on Colonial One," he said, surprised that his son was there. He couldn't deny that his relationship with Lee had gone even more downhill after Baltar's trial and Kara's return.
But he knew it couldn't be easy for him. It couldn't be easy seeing his father with a new family. A family he could be part of if he let his walls down.
"I'm where I should be," Lee said, his eyes finding Pandora down on the platform below them. "Is there any news on the President?" He asked, one eye on his baby sister as he took in his father's slouched demeanour.
"She's out there, I know it, I can feel it in my bones," Bill replied, watching as Pandora sat herself down on the wing of the shuttle that her mother had left the Galactica on.
"I always imagined you a realist - but then, everyone has their limits. Sine Quon Non," Lee said, remembering the words his grandfather had once shared with them at one of their few family dinners, "Without which not," Bill responded, knowing that there was no better way to explain his relationship with Laura.
They were two parts of the same being. It felt as though there was a string connecting him to her. If it was ever to be cut, Bill suspected he'd cease to live.
Lee watched his father and, at that moment, came to accept something he had known all along. His father loved Laura far more than he had ever loved his mother.
"Those things we deem essential without which we cannot bear living, without which life in general loses its specific value…becomes abstract," Lee continued, closing his eyes as he pictured his stepmother. He could practically hear her voice echoing through the corridors of the ship.
He couldn't look at Pandora without seeing Laura. Anyone would have thought they were mother and daughter – by blood and not by choice.
"You may have a point," Bill said, his eyes landing on where Pandora sat on the steps, eagerly talking away to the pilots below. "I know that's what the President is to you," Lee confessed, breaking his gaze from Pandora as he turned to his father.
"You can call her by her name," His father insisted, sighing to himself as he caught sight of his wedding band gleaming in the dull light. "I can't let her go. I've lost my objectivity, and now that I see that. I have no choice. Tell the Quorum I'm relinquishing command, effective immediately" Bill announced, knowing that there was no other option.
Lee felt his heart stop. Nothing had ever come between Bill Adama and his military service. Not his brother, not himself, not his mother. Yet, Laura Roslin-Adama was the exception.
"Lee!" Pandora cried, lifting her arms in the air as she waved at her brother and father, breaking the uncomfortable silence that had fallen over them. Lee faked a smile as he waved at his baby sister, watching as she pointed them out to Hera below.
At that moment, Lee Adama finally made peace with his family. Made peace with the fact his father had a new family, that he had a new family.
"I know you're going after her," Lee said, knowing that would be the only reason why Bill would leave. "But don't take Pandora with you," He pleaded, turning to look at the man beside him once more.
Bill shook his head. He couldn't do that. Laura would never forgive him – and he couldn't leave his daughter alone on this ship. "With all due respect Lee, there's no-one here that I trust to protect my daughter," He confessed, wishing that it wasn't the truth. If he had his way, Bill Adama's dysfunctional family would be one unit – Laura, Lee, Pandora, and even Kara.
Lee felt like that was a knife through the heart.
He may have had issues with his father - and the gods knew he and Laura had a difficult relationship - but he never would have done anything to harm Pandora.
She was his sister. His baby sister.
He wouldn't let any harm come to a hair on her head. Lee would take a bullet for her - gladly - if he had to.
Pandora offered them all a second chance. She was his chance to be the brother he should have been to Zak. He saw that now.
"I always wanted a sister you know, the funny thing is, I think it was Pandora that I was imagining all along," Lee said, his eyes tearing up as he turned to look at the dark-haired girl below. She looked so much like Laura, but with a spunk in her that was definitely Adama.
Lee had failed to protect his brother. He couldn't fail to protect his sister.
"So, it won't matter if as President, I order you not to do this?" Lee asked, watching as Pandora giggled with Hera as they tried on pilot helmets. Bill's blood ran cold as he turned to his son.
No one would stop him from finding Laura. Not even Lee.
"Why are you doing this?" Lee asked, breaking his eyes away from Pandora.
"Because I can't live without her. We," Bill paused, turning to look at the child who was standing below them, "can't live without her".
Laura was the beginning and end of everything. Without her, nothing matters. Life itself had no meaning.
Bill stepped back as he felt Lee's arms wrap around him as the man hugged him. When was the last time Lee hugged him? He must have been a child – a teenager at most. "Okay, dad. We'll find her," Lee said, patting his father's back.
Bill never thought his son would be President. As he stood at his side, with Pandora next to him, he contemplated the last time he had attended a Presidential swearing-in. It had been Laura in Lee's place; bright-eyed and bushy haired.
Pandora had just entered their lives. Laura was healthy. Their relationship was firmly in its honeymoon period.
Now that all seemed like a lifetime ago.
Bill held the bible as Lee raised his hand in the air to take the oath. Pandora was in her red dress, the one that remind him of Laura's on New Caprica.
The pair slipped off Caprica One as the members of the quorum congratulated Lee. It took the man almost 15 minutes to notice that his family was gone. After thanking his colleagues, Lee made his way off the ship.
He wasn't going to let his father disappear in the dark of the night.
Lee walked into the Admiral's quarter as Saul was walking away. "Talk some sense into that man," The elder insisted, nodding his head at Lee as the younger man disappeared into the room, the soldiers standing guard outside.
His father's quarters looked as though it was frozen in place. Laura's coffee cup was on the desk, Pandora's bed clothes hanging over the sofa, a muddle of books on the dresser. His father looked out of place in his flight suit.
"Is there anything you want me to do?" Lee asked, clearing his throat as he stepped inside. Bill looked up from where he stood at his desk. He had packed a carry bag with his belongings, his copy of Searider Falcon sitting at the top.
Bill's lips twitched in a smile as he looked at his son. "Give Athena back her daughter. She needs her family," He turned to look at where the photo of him and Laura hung on the wall. "We all need our family," He sighed, knowing that he would move heaven and earth to bring Laura home.
Lee turned as he heard light footsteps, watching as Pandora walk into the room, dressed in the pilot's suit that he had bought her. "Pilot Adama," He smiled at the girl, crouching down to her height as he held his arms open for her. Pandora laughed as she launched herself into the man's arms, her stuffed elephant held safely in her arms.
Lee looked up at his father over pandora's shoulder, their previous conversation going unspoken between them. "Pandora needs to be with her mother," Bill said shrugging his shoulder as he lifted his bag off the desk. There was no question of him taking Pandora with him. Their family had to stay together – no matter what.
He knew it was the truth. Pandora and Laura were two sides of the same coin. He had never seen a mother and daughter closer than those two were.
"Then she'll need this," Lee said, looking down at the little girl in her flight suit. The same one had bought her only a few months ago. When their lives look different.
The gold trinkets in his hand caught the dim light of the deck. "Every Adama deserves to earn their wings," Lee said, opening his hand to reveal his aviator wings. Pandora looked memorised as she reached out to touch the lapel pins. Her brother fixed her collar and adjusted the neck of her flight suit before pinning the aviator wings to her chest.
"You look after our Papa, kid," Saul said, dropping a kiss on Pandora's forehead as he stood to his full height.
Lee led the way through the corridors of Galactica, holding Pandora's hand as he walked. Bill struggled to make small talk, "I hear you're keeping Zarek as Vice President," He said, unsure if his son was on the right path politically. He had heard the Vice President's radio interview – but that was a problem he would face when Laura was back with them.
Laura would know how to soothe Zarek's ego and bring him back in line.
"I can use the advice," Lee replied, squeezing Pandora's hand as he looked ahead of him. The new President couldn't deny that this sounded like a suicide mission – one that his father was willing to bring Pandora alone with.
It was all or nothing.
Either they find Laura or nothing. Either his father got lucky, or he never saw Pandora again.
When they reached the flight deck, Lee felt a heaviness in his heart. He knew that he hadn't the best son. He had been an even worse stepson. The image of Laura fleeing the court during Baltar's trial was one that would stick with him to the end of his days.
Bill stopped in the doorframe, his hand on Lee's chest to hold him in place. "I can't live without her," he said, a sombre mood falling over them. "And Laura's going to get to the rendezvous point, I believe that" He swore, knowing that Laura would fight with every ounce of her being to get back to them.
"Admiral Adama," Kara's voice brought the pair back to reality.
The blonde pilot stood at the head of a line of pilots, each saluting their Admiral. "Kara!" Pandora smiled, waving at the woman with her free hand. She pulled Lee towards the raptor where Kara stood. Pandora copied her father in giving Kara the salute.
"Good luck on your first mission, Pilot Adama," Kara said, returning Pandora's salute.
Lee lifted his sister up, placing her on the wing of the raptor before watching Bill help her inside.
"What do you hear, Pandora?" Kara asked, looking down at the girl who stood next to the only man she recognised as a father.
Pandora's eyes widened as she looked back at her father for reassurance before turning to Kara. "Nothing but the rain" She answered, smiling up at the blonde woman. "Grab your gun and bring the cat in," Kara replied, echoing the words she had shared with the Admiral dozens of times.
"Keep a light on, we'll be back," Bill said, clearing his throat as he watched the three people whom he considered to be his children. "You can count on it," Kara reassured him, knowing that it was time to repay the man's trust in her.
Bill stepped onto the raptor first, dumping his bag down onto the spare seat. "Go get your Mama, kid," Lee said, ruffling Pandora's hair before he lifted the child up into the shuttle.
Kara and Lee stepped back as they watched the door to the shuttle close, Pandora standing waving at them until the door sealed into place.
As the shuttle departed the flight deck, Pandora made herself comfortable in the co-pilot seat. She watched as the other ships in the fleet jumped away, disappearing little by little before her father opened the tattered pages of Searider Falcon.
Wherever Laura was, they were going to find her. Whatever it took.