We are such a strange anomaly, us humans. Every day we strive for greatness no matter what it maybe but crave for the mundane when we are face to face with that greatness.

I crave the mundane. The normal.

I crave making love on a sunday morning with someone I like and walking around the market for donuts shortly after. I crave the sound of pots and pans clanking about as I clean up from dinner my mother cooked, in my childhood home in Indiana. I crave the smell of the breeze on my walk from my apartment to Starfleet headquarters. I crave the feel of fabric from my nephew's jersey when I hug him after cheering him on at his t-ball game.

I crave the mundane.

I find my mundane here on Voyager. I enjoy the breadcrumbs I get. When I touch Tom's shoulder as I stand behind him at the con. Or when I watch the stars streak past my window in the ready room. It doesn't warm me like the mundane from home but this mundane keeps me going just another day.

When the ensign escaped sickbay this morning and we found her under the warp core, staring at it like it was trying to tell her a secret; I wasn't angry or shocked. For some reason, all I could think was "I wonder what her mundane used to be." My crew flittered about me trying to get to the bottom of her escape, asking if she should be reprimanded, asking if she had been injured. But I answered no one. I simply ducked under the railing and pulled the young woman out from where she crouched low under the core. She didn't fight me. We shared a sense of calm. I put my arm around her and asked her what floor her quarters were on. She splayed her palm to me. Five. She's on deck five.

I walked with her out of Engineering with her frame pressed against mine. She had lost so much weight during her abduction and there after, she was barely there. But despite her small frame and her timidness, her presence would not be denied. My crew was hot on my heels asking more and more questions but I was silent until we reached the turbolift.

"Stop" I commanded with a cool but loving demeanor

My disciples froze mid step.

"Return to your duties. I will be on the bridge shortly." I explain

They hesitate. Tom in confused disbelief. Chakotay trusting but concerned. BE'lanna irritated but curious. It wasn't until I met Tuvok's eyes that I knew someone understood. He understood the logic of needing the mundane. He reached out and pressed the turbolift button before turning on his heel to leave.

"Captain?" Chakotay pleaded

"I'll be on the bridge shortly" I replied softly

He looked confused and hurt not to be in the know, but he trusts me. He turned to leave.

I sit here now, perched on the edge of her bed. She is sitting beside me.

"You'll probably have to go back to sickbay" I tell her

She surprises me by getting onto her hands and knees to rummage under neath her bed. She reappears with a small wooden box. A mischievous smile graces her lips that reminds me of my younger sister back home. She opens the box and places a small, triangular shape into my hand.

I examine it more closely. The object isn't exactly a triangle, its more of a teardrop with a rounded bottom with a pointed top. It's wrapped in a foil with a tiny piece of paper sticking out the top that reads "kisses".

"What is it?" I ask

She let's out a breath which I believe is her voiceless form of laughter as she repositions onto the bed. She unwraps her triangle and pops it into her mouth. Its edible. I open mine and smile to realize the teardrop is made out of chocolate. I place the strange shape on my tongue and savor the sweet sensation dancing about my taste buds. We sit in silence for a moment, pondering our sweet treats.

"Chocolate" I finally say "A woman's best friend"

She holds up a finger, places another triangle in my hand and puts the box away. One more is what she allows me. One more little moment of mundane.

"Why did you go under the core, ensign?" I ask after the second triangle has completely dissolved.

She looks down then up at me. She opens her mouth to form her words but she remembers her predicament.

"Do you have an empty PADD?" I ask

She understands and snatches one resting on her desk. She quickly types out a message and hands it to me.

It called me.

"It what?"

I woke up and something told me I had to get to the core.

"What called you? Who called you?"

No one. Not a voice. I just knew.

"What did you feel you had to do?"

That was what I was trying to figure out.

"Then I came in"

She nods.

"Can I trust you?" I ask. Im surprised by my question. But both the captain in me and the human being in me knows it must be addressed.

She looks up at me with determination and for moment I catch a flash of anger. She's taking a while to put together her words this time. She types and deletes a few times. Her thumbs pause over the device. She looks at me again, weighing her options. I remain neutral. I need her answer to be honest. She writes slowly but I can tell this is the final draft. She hands the PADD to me.

When they had me trapped and they hurt me. Badly. I never spoke of you. I never spoke of Voyager.

I turn from her. I fight my tears. It's not about emotions now. I need to be more for my crew.

"Wha…" my words catch in my throat "Do your remember all of what they asked you?"

Her brow furrows. She pulls her knees to her chest. She's typing again. I look down at the device placed once more in my lap.

Everything. Where I came from. Who I was. Did I have any purpose? Who did I love? What hurts me the most? How do I hurt the most? What can they do to make me hurt the most?

My hand slaps over my mouth and I reprimand myself for the open display of distress. I pull myself together.

"So they were experimenting on you?"

Yes.

"Why do you think they….stopped by?"

She gives me a long look as her features darken. She looks away as a ghost of memory dances in her eye.

I think they want to extend their research.

I stand abruptly. I turn from her to look at a grey wall, a monitor, a jacket, anything but her. My eyes fall back onto the large canvas of grey and I feel the urge to splay my hands against the cool surface. It's hard to believe the screams I now listen to in my dreams once emanated to the quiet creature sitting behind me.

"No" I say roughly "I will not have that happen to this crew. When you were taken away I vowed…I vowed…" tears blind my eyes and swallow up my words. I resent this sniveling mess I have become. I resent the emotions that I have so carefully collected and placed into a box, deep in the back of my mind, now bubbles up to the surface without a fight.

I hand is placed on my shoulder. I turn to see her holding out the PADD.

It's ok. I cried for you too.

I never wanted to hold someone and throttle them so much at the same time. I look at her once more, she smiles meekly, apologetically. One day, I'll have to ask Phoebe about the long lost daughter she never told me about. I quickly wipe the tears from my face and watch her blink away the tears shining in her eyes.

"I have to take you back to sickbay" I say to her reluctantly "I feel like I'm taking you to the brig"

She types.

Is there a difference?

"Lets make a deal" I state as we get to our feet "You promise to inform me the next time you get a calling and I'll try to convince the warden on letting you out early for good behavior"

She holds out a hand and we shake on it.

"It's a deal then" I comply

"How's she doing?" Chakotay asks as he enters my ready room.

"Better" I reply in kind, I look at him closely from my seat near the stars.

"What?" he asks as he takes a seat next to me

"Has your spirit animal ever lead you astray?"

He smiles. I don't ask about his beliefs much. I should do that more often.

"No. Sometimes he is unclear, he speaks in riddles but never lead me astray. Why? Has your guide been ornery?"

"No…no" I laugh weakly "I just…could use some guidance from beyond."

"Kathryn"

"She told me that they were experimenting on her. She feels thats what they want to do to the crew."

"Experimenting? For what? Why us?"

"I don't know. But by what she has told me, I sure as hell won't let this have to find out."

Chakotay leans forward, pensive and concerned.

"It's good she's speaking again" he says somewhat to himself

"In a sense. I talked. She wrote on a PADD. Any headway on the symbols?"

He looks at me and takes a deep breath.

"Yes" his voice low

"Well?"

"We don't know what exactly they say but we have an idea of where they are from"

"Great! Where?"

"The symbols matched one of the etchings found on a door in the compound we found you in. Seven recognized the writings as work form a species as a very elusive prey the Borg has been trying to obtain for hundreds of years. They have become somewhat of a white whale. We've scanned through some of the holoimages of the compound and found more symbols that match up."

"So its agreed? The species that has left the symbols are the same ones who abducted us?"

"Yes" he confirms, he shifts in his seat as he avoids my gaze.

"What is it?"

"We believe we translated the symbol on the door, it's repeated in the symbols we downloaded. It means…..execution."