A/N: Thank you for all the love! I'm so happy you guys are enjoying this story! Hope you like this chapter and please leave a comment, they keep me going!

Meredith didn't really know what to make of those beautiful flowers. What did that mean? Did it mean anything other than congratulations? She was one day away of the ceremony and her head was a mess. She was nervous and anxious. She really wanted to win. Really wanted to prove wrong every single person who doubted her capacity throughout her life. She wanted her dead mother to feel proud. To honor the Grey name, to make sure her mother's legacy was passed on. She wanted Derek to see how great she was, she had promised him she would do it before he died. He died and he wouldn't get to see her win a Harper Avery. She needed to win.

Nathan's note wasn't making any of that easier. If she was being honest with herself, that gift only made her realize how much she missed him. She kept imagining what it would be like if he was there with her, like she was a sixteen year old girl. She'd daydream about him, just to be reminded of Derek and end up hurt, angry and, most of all, confused. She sometimes felt like she had to choose. Between Derek and Nathan. Except Derek was dead. He was never going to come back, ever. So, she could have Nathan, who was alive and well, or she could be alone, sulking over Derek for the rest of her life. The other problem was that Nathan was with Megan. He wasn't there, he was gone for good.

She hoped he was happy. He deserved to be. He had been through too much. But, she couldn't be pining over him. She was nominated for the biggest surgical award of the United States. She didn't need to be thinking about any of that love thing at the moment. She was fine with what she had. Her kids. Her job. And her thriving career.

It was Saturday. She managed to call her kids and see how they were doing. She decided it was best if they didn't come. If she lost she would just want to be alone, and this was a great opportunity to have a mini vacation. She felt like a bad mother, for doing that. But then again, that wasn't a usual thing to happen, so she felt like she deserved it, even if she did missed them. She spent the whole day lying in bed, resting, looking at Nathan's flowers, eating and drinking expensive hotel champagne. At night, she watched a crappy movie on Netflix and went to bed at eleven.

She woke up early, as she always did, at 6 a.m. She felt good. Well rested. Today was the day. Things might change after the ceremony. If she won, she was going to be the happiest woman on the west coast. She didn't know what she would do. She actually had a speech in mind. A simple one. She didn't write anything down, afraid she might jinx it. It was better that way.

Her hairstylist and make up artist arrived at four thirty. The ceremony would start at seven. She talked to Jackson on the phone, going over everything that might happen, asking how everything worked and all that. She was even more nervous than the day before, if that was possible. She was restless and euphoric, couldn't stand still. Her hair and make up were done, and she was left alone in her room once more. She put on her dress.

It was a long red dress. It wasn't too flowy but it wasn't too tight either. She felt beautiful. More often than not, Meredith would pass days without looking at herself properly in the mirror Now, though, she couldn't help it. She felt better than she had in a while. Never, in a million years, she would think that she be where she is right now. If someone told her 15 years ago that she'd be a award nominee general surgeon, with three kids that had Derek Shepherd as their father, she would never believe it. And there she was. If she believed in God she would be thanking him right about now. It was hard to believe in God after all the bad things that had happened to her. But this was a good thing. This was the best thing.

She arrived at where the ceremony would take place at seven, right on time. She was sat next to Jackson and his mother, since they were the only people she actually knew. She knew some other faces, from conferences, old colleagues. Nathan wasn't there. She didn't expect him to come, not really. Sure, he was only an hour away, but him coming would mean so many things. Too many things. Things she didn't need to be thinking.

A lot of people came to her. She was a bit overwhelmed, actually. Lots of people sucking up, complimenting her, a couple of people looking at her weird, probably competition. But, if there was one thing that fancy doctors did well it was giving away fake smiles and compliments. She was good at it too, so, that's what she was doing to pass time and to try to forget her nervousness.

Everything went by so fast. She felt like she was dreaming the whole thing. The next thing she knew she was being called at the stage.

She had won.

She fucking won.

She won the Harper Avery award for Surgical Innovation for saving Megan Hunt's life.

She managed to change the face of abdominal surgery.

She had never seen her hands shake more than they did when she received the award from Catherine.

In her speech, she managed to thank everyone. Derek, her mother, Lexie. Everyone she missed, everyone whose death moved her more than words could say. She chose not to mention anyone else, mainly because she was afraid she would forget someone.

Backstage, she felt like she was flying. She couldn't stop smiling. She did it. People told her where to go, to go take pictures with the Foundation owners, Catherine, Jackson, the other winners. After the ceremony was over, she went with them to celebrate at the bar of the hotel the ceremony was held. She face timed Alex, the kids, Maggie and Amelia, who were all together, cheering and praising her. She felt happier than she thought it was possible. It was midnight by the time they hung up. Jackson and Catherine were talking with some other guests. She decided to go to bar, to order one more drink, the second of the night, since she was too nervous to ingest anything before. She put her award on the bar counter as she sat down on the stool. She ran her fingers through her engraved name on the acrylic prize. She still couldn't believe it.

She ordered a vodka tonic to the bartender. As she waited, she felt someone sit down next to her, but didn't look.

"Congratulations, Dr. Grey."

She turned to her side to see Nathan grinning at her. Surprised, she smiled back, as she moved to hug him tight, without saying a word.

"You're amazing." She heard him whisper in her neck.

God, she had missed him.