I won't give up

by orangedebateboxes

Despite his best efforts to forget her, Tony Dinozzo finds it harder then he thought to forget Ziva. He thought Zoe Keates was they key to letting Ziva go, but when things don't go well between the two of them, he realizes that he will never be able to give up on Ziva. Meanwhile, Ziva is having her own problems forgetting Tony. Is it enough to pull her back to DC?

8. A Reason

A/N: This chapter is very different in style. I wrote it mostly as if it were Tony talking to himself, so we can get a glimpse of his thoughts. I hope you enjoy!

Tony turned and twisted in his bed. The red LED light from the alarm clock he kept on his bedside table blared at him. 4:12. Tony sighed and turned over again. "C'mon Tony!" he berated himself. "You can get more sleep than that." Tony shut his eyes close and started mentally counting sheep.

"... 9,10,11,12- Rule 12. Man, out of all of Gibbs rules you wouldn't think 12 would be the hardest. I mean think about all the people you've worked with before. And out of all of them there were never anyone you really wanted to be with. I mean sure, I flirt a lot, but y'know. That's just my thing. That's what I do. What everyone expects me to do. But then - THEN - Ziva just had to waltz in and ruin everything, didn't she.

Ziva.

I wonder what she's doing now? It should be around 11 in Israel now.

If she's still in Israel at least. You see the fact is Tony, you don't know do you? You don't know where she is, what's she's doing, or even if you're ever going to see her again." Tony felt a pang of hurt. "No, no she wouldn't do that. You'll see her again. You've just to give her time."

Time.

Time was one thing that he could give her. "But for how long Tony? How long are you going to wait for her? Until you're both old and gray? Until one of you die?"

Tony pushed that train of thought away. He sat up and started making his way to the kitchen. He wouldn't be able to get anymore sleep and he knew it. He planned on having a quick breakfast and then going out for a run. It might still be winter in DC, but at this point anything was better than doing nothing. He needed to keep his mind occupied and focused. He couldn't afford wasting time thinking about things that were no longer in his power to control.

But he couldn't stop that nagging voice in the back of his head. "She doesn't need time, Tony. What she really needs is a reason. A reason to come back."