Last chapter borrowed dialogue from the corresponding book chapter. At least up until the point where Mustang revealed that she knows Darrow's secret. We're starting to get to that point again where Shiro is interacting closely with canon events, so there will inevitably end up with more quotes being used, although I'll try to avoid using too much book dialogue when I can avoid it.
1/7/18: Completely reworked this chapter to skip over Darrow telling the group and have everyone's reactions in a single chapter.
Chapter 24: Who You Really Are:
Pax Mess Hall
En route
February 2nd, 2841
"I understand if you don't wish to stay on the Pax knowing the truth," Darrow said solemnly as he turned to leave. "So, if my secret is not something you can conscience, tell me, and I will give you an un-armed ship and enough provision to last you to Io. The choice is yours" With that dramatic pronouncement, the Reaper of Mars walked out of the room. Well that was one way to get their attention, Shiro observed silently from underneath his ghostCloak. Now that Mustang had figured out Darrow's secret, the Reaper had decided that it was time to bring everyone else into the fold as well. Sevro was busy doing initiations with the Howlers, so Darrow had gathered Tactus, Roque, Victra, and Quinn in the dreadnaught's highColor galley and revealed his secret.
Now, Shiro's job was to watch and see what everyone chose. Darrow hadn't sworn any of the four Golds to silence. He didn't demand an answer, as none had been demanded from him when the Sons had first recruited him. Darrow had to make the choice for himself. If he had been forced into service, he had told Shiro, he'd have given up a thousand times over. Slaves do not have the bravery of free men; the Reaper had said. That is why Golds lie to lowReds to make them think they are brave. That is why they lie to Obsidians and make them think it is an honor to serve gods. Easier than the truth. Yet it takes only one truth to bring a kingdom of lies crashing down. As a people built on family and love amid the horror of their world, Darrow and Shiro both knew that while Red would be the ones to lead the rebellion, Red alone would not be enough.
So now Shiro watched, and he waited. Darrow didn't swear anyone to silence or demand answers from them, but the man wasn't stupid. Shiro had volunteered to watch and see how everyone reacted, to gauge which of the four would be likely to stay with Darrow, and which ones intended to jump ship at the first chance they got. He kept his ghostCloak on to avoid detection as he sat in the corner of the room. For several minutes, the quartet sat in stunned silence, oblivious to the cloaked fly on the wall. About five minutes after Darrow left the room, Victra downed her glass of Venusian wine in a single gulp before she finally broke the silence.
"Is anyone else planning on sticking around or all you all going to jump ship?" she asked. Roque turned to look at her in shock, while Tactus and Quinn looked more pensive.
"Did you even hear a word of what he just confessed?" he snapped. "He's Red, we're Gold. He deceived us all. Why am I the only one getting angry?"
"We all enter a certain social contract by living in this Society of ours," Victra replied as she moved to pour herself another glass, only to change her mind and knock her head back to drink the rest of the wine straight out of the bottle. "Our people oppress his tiny kind. We live off the spoils of their labor. Pretending they don't exist. And they fight back. Usually very poorly. Personally, I think that's his right. It's not good or evil. But it's fair. I'd applaud a mouse that managed to kill an eagle, wouldn't you? Good for it. It'd be absurd and hypocritical for us to complain now simply because the Reds finally started fighting well." She laughed sharply at the look of surprise on the others' faces. "What, darlings? Did you expect me to piss on about honor and betrayal like that walking wound, Cassius?"
"But he lied to us," Roque protested. "Every moment he spent in our company was part of a prolonged deception. How can knowing what he is not bother you?"
"Why would I care what he was?" Victra retorted. "I care about what people do. I care about truth. I don't intend to do a single thing differently just because he wasn't raised as a Gold. The only thing I'd like to know is why he decided to tell us at all."
"I agree with Victra," Quinn interjected as she turned so she was facing towards her lover. "Roque, you heard what Darrow said about Luna. The Sons wanted him to bomb the Gala, but even if he couldn't go through with it, he tried to save your life."
"We were always taught to be loyal to Color, and to family," Tactus said slowly. "So, what does it say about Gold when I get more kindness from a Red than my own gorydamn mother? I told him on Europa that I always thought he was worth following, and you know what? This doesn't change a thing. I came back because of Darrow, and I'm not leaving until someone boots me out an airlock themselves."
"I can't believe I'm saying this," Victra commented. "But for once, I agree with Tactus. Much as you all consider Mustang a friend, none of us could give a gorydamn piss about her father. When the Sovereign decided to have the ArchGovernor assassinated, we didn't stay because we gave a damn about Augustus. We stayed for the Reaper. If the fact that he wasn't a Gold is suddenly a deal breaker to you, well, we all heard his offer." Shiro felt a surge of pride at the woman's words. It was a relief to see that Darrow's faith in his friends had not been misplaced. From the sound of their conversation, Tactus and Victra were still in. The other two was still on the fence, but Quinn sounded like she planned to say as well. That left Roque as the only one undecided.
"We have a duty to Gold," he said, voice trembling. "Look at all the lives that have been lost because of Darrow's ruse. He desires nothing but the destruction of our people…"
"Roque," Quinn interrupted. "If Darrow wanted genocide against Gold, he'd have blown himself up at the Gala like that woman Harmony wanted him to. He wouldn't have gone to the effort of sparing your life. Stop pretending this has anything to do with duty. You've read Mustang's dissertations. We've all seen the Society's excesses. None of our parents will give a damn if we die, and no matter what we do the media will play politics with our deaths. So, what is it that's rattling you? Why are you so adamant on defending a system that won't even bother mourning you?" Despite her gentle tone, Quinn's words clearly struck Roque deeply. For a moment, the poet was silent before he finally spoke up.
"I didn't have many friends before the Institute," he began his voice becoming more morose as the words left his mouth. The sudden change in tone made it clear to everyone present that this was a very emotional subject for him. "My mother kept me sequestered away like most Gold children did, but she had me tutored by Violets and Whites, learning the natural way rather than with technology and digital uploads. I started reading poetry at a young age. I liked reciting poems aloud because I loved the way the words fit together perfectly, but nobody ever really appreciated that. My mother never had time and didn't understand why I enjoyed reciting poems even when she did have time, and my tutors just praised me regardless. None of them understood why I enjoyed poetry so much. But then, when I was fifteen, I'd been reading a book of old poems in English one day and finished to find that one of the family servants had been listening. He was a highRed, my age. I'd been irritated at being interrupted, but when he reluctantly admitted he'd enjoyed listening to the poetry like I did, it was like something clicked. Finally, after years of searching, I'd found someone who understood my love of poetry."
"It became a regular thing for the two of us after that," Roque went on. "I'd read poems, either from books or ones I'd written myself, and Altan would listen. He was still a servant, so he was reluctant to be critical at first, but over time he started giving me feedback on things I could do to improve my writing and speaking. As the weeks passed, our poetry reading became less frequent, and we simply spent our time together eating and talking about everything from our lives and cultures to my latest studies. I'd share what I was learning with my tutors, and Altan would teach me Red songs." Roque paused, clearly bracing himself for the next part of the story. Shiro had a pretty good guess as to where this was going, however.
"A few months later," the poet continued. "Our friendship blossomed into something more. We'd been sitting in our hidden nook where we'd hide from the servants. Altan had started reading poetry himself, and after he'd finished reciting one he'd made himself, I kissed him on the cheek as I congratulated him. He blushed, so I apologized, not wanting to ruin our friendship. But, to my surprise, he kissed me back, only he kissed me on the lips. From there, our romance deepened, and I'd start finding ways to smuggle him out of the estate, so we could go to the opera or to other events together. Altan may not have had the same rigorous education I'd gotten, he'd been a fast learn, quick witted, and unafraid to speak his mind when he felt he could do so with impunity. That was what I loved about him."
"But then our love affair came to a screeching halt on my seventeenth birthday," Roque added sadly. "My mother was supposed to be away on Luna for Senate meetings, and not be back for at least a month. Father was spending a few days travelling to our other homes, leaving me with free reign of the family estate. So Altan and I sequestered myself in my private quarters, locked the doors, covered the windows, and set up a jamField so nobody could hear us while we made love to one another. But Mother returned home early, and her screams when she overrode the locks and found me making love to a Red made her look like one of the Banshees of myth. She contacted the Board of Quality Control and dragged him to the shuttle herself. He was crying as they took him away, and I never saw him again." Quinn put a hand on Roque's shoulder to give him support, as it was clear to everyone that the tale still wasn't done.
"Mother beat me until my face bled for disgracing the family by allowing a slave to bed me. The next day, she told me that Altan had tried to save himself by claiming I had coerced him into the relationship. Not that it would have made a difference. The Board of Quality Control had him gassed for sleeping with a Gold and cremated his remains. I knew she was lying, but it broke my heard just the same. Because even if our attraction had been mutual, it was all my fault. If I'd never interacted with him, there would have been nothing to keep secret, nothing to regret. And Altan would still be alive. Going against the hierarchy only brought me pain in the end, so I buried my guilt and self-loathing, and became the perfect golden son our Society demanded that I be." Shiro felt a surge of pity for Roque in that moment. And only the fact that they weren't supposed to know he was there kept him from going over to comfort the younger man right then and there.
"As tragic as that is," Victra remarked. "I don't see why you're so conflicted now. It's clear that what Darrow is trying to achieve is a world where couples like you and Altan wouldn't have to hide. Don't you think he would want that?"
"Of course, he would!" Roque snapped, his eyes glazing over with the beginnings of tears as he glared at the Julii heiress. "But I've spent so long being the perfect progeny of Gold that I don't know if I can be the boy Altan loved anymore. I knew from the moment I was drafted why I was picked for House Mars. And I tried to keep all of that buried, but it was hard when it became clear I had a type. Lea… Tactus… Quinn… they each remind me of Altan in all the ways that tear open old wounds. You're right, Victra, Altan would want Darrow's new world. But if he were alive he'd never be satisfied with any position that kept him away from my side. Even if we'd been more careful, and avoided getting caught, he'll still be dead anyway, either because Mother sold his contract to another family, or because he'd get himself killed for Darrow's crusade. I already lost Altan and Lea. I almost lost Tactus. I can't lose Quinn too."
For a few minutes, everyone was silent. Roque just sat there quietly with his head in his hands as the other three Golds processed everything he'd just said. Shiro bit his lip to keep himself from saying or doing anything that might give away his presence. Tactus looked torn between empathy for his ex-lover and satisfaction that Roque still cared for his wellbeing even if they were no longer dating. The man had confided in Shiro about his brief affair with Roque during their year at the Academy, so Shiro wasn't as startled by Roque's confirmation of their prior relationship as Victra was. The Julii looked stunned as she glanced between the two men as if she'd never noticed how close the two had been during their year of mock warfare in space. Finally, the silence was broken as Quinn scooted her seat closer to her lover.
"Roque," Quinn began gently, placing her hand on his leg. "I appreciate your concern, and I love how much you care. But it's my decision what I do or not. Our lives are filled with risk. Even if we weren't at war, accidents still happen even without political backstabbing. My torchShip from Triton could have crashed in the asteroid belt and killed all aboard. I could fall into a river and drown during the siege of Mars. There are thousands of ways that each of us could die. I'm not going to let fear of death dictate the choices I make. Because if you don't have anything worth dying for, what's the point of living?" Roque was silent after that, the glint of tears falling visible from the time traveler's perch in the corner of the room.
Shiro began to feel like he was intruding on a private moment, so he quietly got up and slipped towards the door. He had until Arcos came in before he could sneak out the door without alerting the Golds to his presence. Once the doors closed behind him, he deactivated his ghostCloak and headed back to his own quarters. Now that Darrow's core group of lieutenants knew the truth, the Reaper was planning a private dinner in his stateroom for everyone who planned to stay, so they could ask all the questions they wanted. Shiro had been offered the option to let them know about his status as a time traveler, but he would have to see how things went at the dinner before he decided whether the four Golds could a second bombshell.
Roque's backstory (outside of what he mentions about his family history in the books) is largely a blank slate. But House Mars at the Institute is pretty much said to be for students with lots of anger issues, implying lots of hidden depths for Roque. One theory I heard and liked was the idea that he'd had a failed romance with someone from another color, so for this fic I took the idea and ran with it.
And thus, all the A-List characters on Team Darrow save for Ragnar have been brought into the loop. Most of Victra's responses to learning the truth are quoted directly from Morning Star (Book 3 in the trilogy for those who haven't read the books), partly because her little speech about her views on the Sons of Ares is just too good not to use, and partly because she made clear that her reaction would have been the same if she'd been told sooner, so it felt fitting. With the important heroes knowing Darrow's secret in advance of the Triumph, things are going to go a lot differently at the end of the story.
We're about fifteen chapters away from the ending of Golden Son. This story will continue up to the end of the second book. There will be a sequel covering the events of Morning Star, but I'm going to take a break from writing after this fic is over so that I can take the time to finish working out all the changes that Shiro started in this story affect the way the story goes when we get to Book 3. There's not going to be a one-year time skip, but while I'm keeping a few of the major events of the book, there are enough different plot points that I need to work out how to get from Point A (end of Hic Sunt Leones) to Point B (end of Morning Star). And I'm still trying to figure out how to bring the other Paladins into this. I'm planning on having them ending up on their own time-travel journey, but I'm still working out the why, how, and how long it's been for them since the end of Season 2.