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It never made sense for him to love me. So, when she told me he didn't, I believed her.
It was the happiest summer anyone had ever experienced, anywhere. Renee booked a plane ticket for me to visit her in Jacksonville for two weeks at the end of August, but I had forgotten all about it. Edward had become my entire world. We spent almost every moment together, when I wasn't working at Newton's Outfitters or sleeping. But, then again, when I slept, he "slept" with me. It was completely chaste, sometimes to my great frustration, but it was one of my favorite parts of the day. We would cuddle in the darkness and he would sing my lullaby until I drifted off to sleep.
I was deliriously happy, but it felt like a crime for anyone to feel this happy, for anyone to be this lucky. Edward wanted to be with me. He loved me! However, on the rare days when Edward and I weren't together, I battled with thoughts that I didn't deserve this, that it was too good to be true. But, Edward would always return to me, a smile on his face and his arms open, waiting for my embrace. My heart would beat wildly and I would run into his arms. My worries disappeared and I allowed myself to enjoy being with him.
One evening, in mid-August, I was at Edward's house. His "adoptive" parents, Carlisle and Esme, were there, as well as Alice, his "sister." Her partner, Jasper, was not with us. He struggled with my being human more than the others, the scent of my blood was too tempting in such close proximity. I didn't take it personally, but I did feel bad that he couldn't spend time with his family because of me. Rosalie and Emmett were in Africa, on one of their bi-annual honeymoons. I missed Emmett. We had spent a lot of time together before he left and I considered him to be the perfect older brother. Rosalie….well, she hadn't ever spoken directly to me. She wasn't rude, but she wasn't civil, either.
The five of us were playing Monopoly. To outside appearances, it would have looked completely normal – a girl at her boyfriend's house for family game night. Except, this family was a coven of vampires, and Edward could read minds, and Alice could read the future. I wasn't sure if they truly enjoyed playing games, or if they were keeping up appearances for me, but it had become a weekly tradition. It was such a normal, human thing to do, but the people sitting with me at that table were not humans. I often forgot that I was different from them, but something would always remind me.
Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Edward and Alice exchanging glances. I was familiar with them communicating this way. At first I thought they were cheating, but Edward's jaw tightened slightly and I knew it was more serious than who would buy St. James Place. Alice and Edward were special and their gifts set them apart from the family. They understood each other because of this, and were especially close. Alice had become the sister I never had, pretty much moving in my house the previous spring when I was recovering from my injuries. My injuries. My heart began to beat faster at the memory of the spring – James attacking me, my being human putting the whole Cullen family in danger.
Edward looked at me, but I avoided his gaze and busied myself with counting monopoly money, acting as though I wasn't on the verge of an anxiety attack. Edward was here with me and safe. James was no longer a threat.
Carlisle stood up. "We have visitors….our Denali cousins…."
How did he know they had visitors, I wondered. Alice noticed my confusion and assumed my question correctly.
"We heard them coming, they said hello when they reached the property," she explained.
Ah, vampire hearing, I reminded myself. My human ears couldn't pick up what they could. It also explained the exchange between Alice and Edward. Alice could see the future, Edward could read minds. They worked as a team to keep the family safe. They probably saw the visitors coming before they reached the property.
The last time I met vampires other than the Cullens, they had tried to kill me. But, I felt safe at that moment, with Edward by my side. I didn't think twice about the potential danger. The Denali coven was considered to be family by the Cullens. Edward had briefly mentioned they also followed their "vegetarian" diet, and that they had even lived with them for awhile. Before Emmett left for Africa, he had made a joke or two about these ladies and their love of human men, not for their blood, but for their companionship. I was more curious about them than afraid.
Carlisle left the room, and quickly returned with three beautiful women by his side. They were almost as beautiful as Rosalie, and I was immediately intimidated. They greeted Esme and Alice with hugs and kisses, but kept their distance from me and Edward. He put his arm around me and I wondered briefly if he was being affectionate or protective.
Esme insisted they join us in playing games and the women looked amused. I couldn't imagine these elegant, goddess like creatures wanting to play Monopoly, and I suddenly felt silly and awkward and ugly in their presence.
However, the women eagerly accepted the invitation to play. Since there were so many of us, we switched from board games to cards. Edward politely declined to play, since he would be able to read everyone's cards, but Alice declared she wouldn't search the future and would play fair.
As the evening progressed, I found myself relaxing and having fun. Irina and Kate were very nice to me, asking questions about my life, and acting as if I was an equal, even though clearly I was not. Tanya seemed to be watching my every move, but didn't speak to me.
I was so embarrassed to have to go to the bathroom, but the group didn't seem to notice as I slipped out of the room. Edward began to get up to follow me, but then looked at Alice and sat down. Apparently, she let him know where I was going and I was thankful to not have to point out to the group that I was a human and needed to pee.
When I returned a few minutes later, the game had ended and everyone was talking in pairs. It seemed as though they were playing cards just for my benefit and once I was gone, jumped at the first opportunity to have adult conversation instead. Inwardly I cringed, wishing I had been more perceptive. I thought we were having a good time, but they were really bored.
From across the room, I saw Tanya whisper in Edward's ear, and put her hand on his arm. My stomach clenched and I turned away before I saw his response to her. Tanya was beautiful, much more appealing than me. What man could resist her? Unworthiness washed over me and I felt a sudden urge to leave.
"Alice, would you drive me home? I don't feel so good."
"Sure…." she agreed, but looked at me curiously, wondering why I was asking her and not Edward.
Although I had earlier been reminded of vampiric hearing, I forgot that Edward would hear me. He was by my side in a flash, his cool hand against my forehead.
"If you don't feel well, Carlisle should examine you…." he murmured with worry.
"I'm fine…just tired," I replied, avoiding his gaze, knowing he'd see right through my lie.
Edward looked hurt. "You want Alice to drive you home? You know I would be happy to…."
I shook my head. "You're going hunting with Jasper, right? Taking me home would make you go out of your way…."
It was a good excuse. He was planning on going hunting with Jasper for the weekend. I had insisted he go and spend time with his brother, since I always robbed him of that time.
He raised an eyebrow. "You don't live in Siberia, Bella. It's no problem at all."
Edward announced we were leaving and the group called out their goodbyes. Alice and Esme hugged me. I noticed Tanya's particular glance at me, full of curiosity, and then how she shifted her gaze to Edward, her eyes filled with….desire. Her expression felt like a knife in my chest. I didn't bother catching his response.
We didn't talk on the ride home, but Edward held my hand, rubbing soothing circles with his thumb. His touch always seemed to calm me down and the anxiety of seeing him and Tanya together subsided. When we pulled into the driveway, Charlie looked out the window. My father was waiting up for me.
Edward walked me to the door, and even though he knew Charlie was watching, he kissed me fully on the lips. Usually, he was almost chaste with his kisses, but tonight, I felt his passion and I gripped his arms to steady myself from falling in a faint.
"I'll miss you," he confessed. "Even though it's only two days, I'll be counting the seconds until I see you again."
His velvety voice, the coolness of his breath against my ear, made me shiver with pleasure.
"Be safe," I urged with a hug.
Edward laughed lightly and hugged me back tightly. He always found it amusing when I would tell him that, and would always reply that he was the world's most dangerous predator and others needed to be kept safe from him. I hated it when he pointed out our differences or referred to himself as dangerous. But, thankfully, on this night, he remained silent and held me until the front door began to open. By the time Charlie peaked out, Edward was in his car driving away.
It was difficult for me to sleep when Edward was gone. Sometimes Alice would spend the night, Charlie let her come and go as she pleased, unlike Edward. But, with her visiting cousins, I knew she would probably wait until the next day to call and make plans while the boys were away.
I tossed and turned until, hours after Edward left, I heard a tap on the window. I wasn't alarmed, but sat up in bed curiously. It was either Alice or Edward. They always entered through the window at night. Although it was most likely Alice, I hoped it was Edward.
The window slowly opened and in a flash, someone was standing at the foot of my bed. But, it wasn't Edward or Alice.
"Tanya?" I whispered, incredulously.