A/N: Thanks for all the reviews and those who have put this story on alert or as a favorite! I love your support!
Some of you may be wondering about how Bella will be portrayed in this story. Sorry if this is a disappointment, but I am going to explore Bella's insecurities. She won't be a bad ass. If you want a bad ass Bella, I suggest you read one of the best fan fics in existence – BRONZE by mothlights.
Many, many thanks to my BFF gredelina1 for being my beta and encourager!
My pulse quickened, not out of fear, but out of nervousness. What was Tanya doing in my room in the middle of the night?
"Sorry to wake you," she spoke softly, walking towards my bed. "Edward told me he watched you sleep and I wanted to see for myself what he found so fascinating."
I had spent enough time with vampires to know that the tap I heard on my window was intentional. Vampires weren't clumsy like me and she could have easily slipped in my room without my ever knowing. She did intend to wake me up. Something within told me to not trust Tanya.
"I wasn't sleeping," I responded cautiously.
"Oh," Tanya replied, with a shrug of her shoulders, as if it didn't matter whether I was sleeping or not.
I looked at Tanya expectantly. Her butterscotch colored eyes reminded me that she didn't feed on humans; I was most likely safe from being attacked. If she didn't come to my room to watch me sleep, then she came to talk to me. Alone. Away from Edward and the Cullens. What could she possibly have to say to me, that she couldn't say in front of them?
Tanya sat down on the edge of my bed. She was wearing a skin tight mini-dress and stiletto heels. Her long blonde hair shimmered in the darkness. In a word, she was stunning. I glanced down at my t-shirt and sweat pants, feeling really frumpy in comparison to the elegance and beauty sitting before me. It was silent for a moment and Tanya looked around the room, full of curiosity.
"What are you doing here?" I blurted out of nervousness.
She smiled, but ignored my question. "Edward is quite taken with you….I've never seen him so fascinated before."
I blushed, unsure how to respond. I didn't understand why he wanted to be with me, so I certainly couldn't explain it to Tanya.
"I came to talk to you because you seem to be a nice girl," she emphasized the word girl with a tone of condescension in her voice. "I don't want you to be hurt," she inched closer to pat my hand. Her touch sent chills through my body.
"Edward would never hurt me," I replied, thinking she was referring to his bloodlust. I was confident Edward was in control of that side of his nature, even though he often warned me about how dangerous it was to be near him.
Something flashed in Tanya's eyes, but she recovered quickly.
"Relationships between vampires and humans are complicated. I should know. My sisters and I have been with human men for centuries."
I raised my eyebrows, her words confirming Emmett's previous comments. Tanya had sex with human men.
"Human men are so….warm. So eager. I imagine Edward finds you that way, too. Warm and eager." Tanya winked at me and I blushed.
Edward and I didn't have the same kind of relationship that Tanya and her human men had. He made clear and definite boundaries regarding our physical relationship and he would not yield, even though I often wished he would. It was true. I was very eager when it came to being with Edward, and he had made comments about how warm I felt….Tanya interrupted my thoughts by continuing to speak.
"But, my sisters and I have never fallen in love with a human man. It's not possible. There is too much of a difference between them and us. And after awhile, we always grow bored. My kind…we're easily distracted." She smiled in amusement.
I swallowed, wondering why she was telling me this.
"Edward and I are in love," I whispered, feeling the need to defend our relationship.
Tanya's face turned from an expression of amusement to compassion. Instead of feeling comforted, I felt on edge.
"I'm going to be honest with you, Bella," she sighed. "Edward doesn't love you. He never will."
I blinked, shocked at the brutality of her words. Tanya spoke as if she was protecting me, as if she was doing me a favor. But, really, she was breaking my heart. Edward didn't love me? Could this be true?
She seemed to be waiting for a response.
"Why are you telling me this?" I asked, my stomach churning.
Tanya looked confused. "I told you, my dear. I don't want you to be hurt."
I looked at her suspiciously, wondering about her motivations. She seemed to understand my expression perfectly.
"I know that you are in love with Edward. Humans have fallen in love with me, too. But, it never ends well. "
"Edward loves me," I protested, but I was trying to convince myself. It never made sense for him to love me, so it wasn't difficult to believe Tanya's words were true. "He's told me many times he loves me.
Tanya shook her head. "Edward has never been in love, Bella. He doesn't know what love is. He's fascinated with you because he cannot read your mind, but that is not love."
She stared at me for a moment, pausing for dramatic effect. "He will grow bored with you eventually."
I struggled to maintain composure, fighting back tears. Tanya's facial expression and tone of voice was full of kindness and care, so why did I feel like she was being so cruel?
She wasn't finished. Her next words to me felt like a slap in the face.
"The Cullens see you as a pet, not as an equal."
It was then that the tears began to flow. She confirmed my worst fears. I wasn't an equal. I wasn't good enough.
Tanya squeezed my hand. "Do you really think the Cullens would want to play Monopoly if you were not there?"
I tried to catch my breath. "Carlisle wouldn't treat someone like a pet," I argued, although my voice was weak.
She raised her eyebrows and shrugged. "I've known Carlisle for centuries, my dear. There are a lot of things you don't know about him. You being human remind the Cullens of their own lost humanity. As vampires, life can get rather boring when you are an immortal. You're a novelty, something amusing to indulge until they eventually become distracted with something else. Then, they will move on, Bella, and they will leave you behind."
I squeezed my eyes shut, overwhelmed with confusion and sorrow. The Cullens I had gotten to know over the past few months, the ones who had sat at my bedside when I was in the hospital in Phoenix, the ones who welcomed me into their family with open arms...I was a novelty to them?
I couldn't argue with Tanya that I knew the Cullens better than she did. And I couldn't argue that I wasn't a distraction, that they loved me as Edward loved me. Because... maybe they didn't. Maybe I was just a silly human to help distract them all from the boredom of immortality?
I made one last attempt to protest, but more for myself than to tell Tanya she was wrong.
"It's not true," I whimpered, glancing at her.
Immediately, I felt cold arms embrace me. Tanya held me tightly. "Oh, Bella. I know this is painful, but I'm trying to prevent you from being even more hurt...believe what I am telling you is the truth."
She looked deeply into my eyes and for a brief second, I could have sworn she was trying to dazzle me the way Edward often did when he was trying to convince Mrs. Cope to excuse an absence from school. I turned my head, breaking her gaze.
"Please leave," I muttered, my body stiffening.
Tanya released me from the hug and stood up.
"You know what you need to do," she spoke softly, but firmly.
I nodded. Tanya didn't have to say it out loud. After all that she told me, I knew exactly what I needed to do.
I had to break up with Edward.