AN: The original version of the 'bash' bit was very different. It had worked but I liked what I had written the second time around better.
AN2: Is anyone even still reading this other than Rakusa? (Which, thank you so much for the reviews!)
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9
Me in Chains
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It had all culminated into this. It was exactly what he deserved but the world didn't deserve this. He should have been the only one to suffer.
"Sebastian!" Santana screamed and he fell the floor with a thump, the hard impact waking him up more than anything else. He'd gotten tangled in the sheets and blankets. Blankets? He'd hardly used those except on really cold nights. Now they were wrapped around him like chains. He groaned and blanched at all the tissues on the floor with him. What had happened?
"Sebastian!" Her shout cut through some of the haze in his head.
"You have a key, dingus!" He shouted back as he attempted to untangle himself. This was not something he could have done himself. He remembered someone coming in. Was that just a dream? The blanket and sheets told him that it wasn't. How long ago was it then? An hour? Ten minutes? Weeks? Days? Time had slipped by him.
His front door opened and Santana came barging in through his bedroom door moments later. "Why haven't you been answering your- oh." Santana took in the scene and her anger cut short and she broke into great tearful sobs. She collapsed down onto her knees, not far from him. "You have no idea and you're, you're sick." She crawled over to him since he was still trapped and threw herself onto him. They were close and had hugged or touched in other ways but this was new.
Sebastian groaned. "I'm hallucinating, aren't I?"
"God, I wish it were all one bad trip." Santana agreed, her tears not dissipating at all and she sobbed into his blanket covered chest. "It's just so awful!"
"Wait, 'Tana, what's awful?" Sebastian freed an arm and rubbed her back. "You weren't the one who came to check on me?" He didn't know who else would.
"It's Kurt!" She squealed in her horror and fear. "He-he."
"He's breaking up with me, I know already. We had a terrible row and he's not going to forgive me this time. I don't really deserve forgiveness." Sebastian groaned and shifted. "You don't need to pour on the waterworks just because he phoned to tell you this." Nothing was really sinking in.
"He's in the hospital!" Santana cut him off, trying to get it through to him.
"Where? In the city he's in today? He's not due back for awhile." He had no specifics, Kurt hadn't told him this time before he stormed out, on their anniversary of all days. Yes, Sebastian had been a tool and forgot and got drunk, but he still was here for it, Kurt had left. Maybe Kurt would have pushed the flight back a day or two if Sebastian had been here on time. Kurt wasn't around to tell him, but with the way things had been going, Kurt probably would have wined and dined and sexed him and then would have left, considering his job for their anniversary done and then on to do his real job.
Santana slapped him. It took him a moment to register that as first he heard the sound and then wondered what it was, then wondered why on earth Santana would do such a thing and then... finally, the pain. Santana had a strong arm, she had played softball in addition to other things.
Sebastian started to roar in pain and anger but it cut off short, only a few sounds slipping out as he finally woke up to what she was saying. "Kurt's here... in New York... and in the hospital?" So he hadn't imagined Kurt after all. "We have to go to him." Sebastian fought harder to get out of the blanket and sheets and once he did, he got to his feet and swayed dangerously.
"In... in a moment." Santana caught him and put him back down onto the bed. "Maybe it's best I go on my own and then call in with updates while you get better? You're no good to anyone like this."
"I-I'm fine." Sebastian argued and then veered dangerously to his left, toward the headboard and Santana caught him before he needed stitches and a hospital stay too.
"Ok... when's the last time you ate or drank anything?"
"What day is it?" Sebastian countered and thought about what day he'd called in sick. "Wednesday."
"Yikes, this might be a blessing in disguise, though Kurt would have been here to take care of you, so really not." Santana shook her head, getting those thoughts out of her head. "Ok, stay here, like this. I'm going to get you something to drink and eat. Kurt's going to kill me but your bed can't look any worse than it already does."
"What day is it?" Sebastian asked, feeling incredibly parched.
"Saturday."
"How- how did I-."
"I don't know." Santana shook her head. "Maybe Kurt managed to get something down your throat before he left."
"I told him to go." Sebastian muttered but Santana wasn't in the room anymore. He figured Kurt was either on his way to Rachel and Blaine's or Santana and Brittany's when... what happened? He didn't remember eating or drinking anything and his sheets looked fairly clean despite being in the bed for four days.
She brought in water and some toast, hoping to help ease Sebastian into food rather than make him even sicker. "We'll get you more food at the hospital." She frowned at him again. "But first, shower." She helped him eat and drink since his hand was shaking too much and he kept missing his mouth. Then she helped him into the shower and got in to scrub him down. She didn't care about her clothes, she sent a text to Brittany who brought over a dry outfit and an overnight bag. They helped Sebastian pack one too and wrangled him into clothes.
"What's wrong with Kurt?" Sebastian finally asked, focusing on the most difficult news for the first time. It had been easier to focus on each task in front of him, one by one. Now he had to face the hardest thing he'd ever heard. He hoped that Kurt was just in there for a broken arm or something not life-threatening.
"I don't actually know." Santana admitted. "Isabelle Wright contacted me when she couldn't get a hold of you."
"Why would Isabelle be calling either of us?" Sebastian was still having a hard time remembering things and putting them in order. His brain was on fire and he'd been sick for days and malnourished. The only thing he managed to do was sleep and not very well.
"To talk to us about Kurt." Santana rolled her eyes at Brittany who only sniffled in response. She really cared about Kurt too. Santana made a sound and went to go comfort her girlfriend. "Sorry boo. I just mean... she probably noticed when he didn't show up for work and they have a close relationship. She reached out nearly instantly. I called around and found out Kurt was in the hospital, begrudgingly." Santana shook her head. "Rachel's always been a real piece of work, but to not tell me?"
"She didn't call me either." Sebastian sighed. "I know who she probably did call."
"Blaine." The three of them said together.
"I hope she called his parents." Santana forced another slice of toast into Sebastian's hand. Food was doing him wonders. He still felt strangely disconnected from the news.
He knew he should be absolutely shattered over Kurt being hospitalized but he must still be in shock, combined with the physical state he was in still. He internally frowned at himself, wondering if he were so callous or if there was something innately wrong with him. He just kind of felt detached, as if this was just a run of a mill conversation, as if Kurt was going to walk in the door any moment and they were just talking about him going to the dentist or coming back from work.
Santana was clearly broken apart but trying to keep what pieces were still together and push the other pieces back into whatever place seemed about right. She was focusing on the task at hand, getting the three of them to the hospital, getting Sebastian well enough to go. Brittany was doing her part but she wasn't an organizer, she just followed Santana's directions though she did have her own ideas and could put them together just fine. He closed his eyes, wondering why his brain was being useless dwelling on such things at the moment.
"I told Isabelle that he's in the hospital and I'd call her with more details as they're forthcoming." Santana continued to speak and she was looking at him strangely. Maybe it shouldn't be a surprise, he was pretty good at ruthlessly chucking people out of his life when they didn't matter to him. Kurt mattered but it was an unknown territory what Sebastian's reaction would be if Kurt was no longer in the position he currently resided in. Sebastian didn't think it would be to cut ties with Kurt. He could never see himself doing that and yet... what was he doing?
Choosing to shut that part of his brain down, focusing on it was only going to cause him to go around in circle, he tried to focus once more on the next tangible step. "This thing is useless if I'm not called when needed." He tossed his phone onto the counter with a sigh.
"Your phone's dead, Sebby." Brittany poked at it and Santana put it on the charger.
"That's what happens when you're sick and sleep away days. You don't really think about things like hooking your phone up to a charger." Santana echoed what Kurt would say so keenly just then, Sebastian felt his heart stutter and then return to it's regular rhythm.
Santana broke down her plan for the day.
They couldn't leave yet. Sebastian was not going to be able to put one foot in front of the other yet. They had to get him up and moving and eating more. Brittany brought a pharmacy worth of pills too that they'd shove down Sebastian's throat to get him cognitive and coordinated when need be. They also had a surgical mask they were going to put on him when they got to the hospital. Kurt didn't need to catch Sebastian's bug on top of everything else. Though, if he'd been here earlier in the week, he might have already contracted it. Hopefully he was passed the contagion phase.
"I don't hold out hope that's what caused Kurt's impromptu trip to the hospital. It was doubtful it was something as easily taken care of as that. I'm sure Kurt would have sent a mass text if he was feeling so sick, just to let everyone know he was ok. Rachel had been beside herself and talking gibberish when I called. I couldn't get much out of her and there were other sobs in addition to hers. No one could really tell me anything. She just kept repeating his name and hospital. I managed to get which hospital out of her before hanging up." Santana shook her head. "That girl is so worthless sometimes."
"All the time." Sebastian muttered, dropping his forehead down onto his arms and closing his eyes. The name of the hospital was at least a good one. "W-where were-." He scrounged for his phone on his body, intending to look to see his messages or to send one off himself. Where had the security team he'd hired been? It only served as a solid reminder that his phone had died. They'd just gone over that. Maybe this time he'd remember that fact, though it was just a habit to reach for his phone.
"Maybe not all the time." Brittany poked him, her face inches from his as she spoke softly and somewhat upbeat. "She did answer the call, has been at the hospital with Kurt and told Santana where they were when she called. She could have ignored Santana. She could have gone on with her own life and not bothered to be there for Kurt." Brittany poked him again. "I'm glad Kurt's got somebody with him."
The words and the poking unleashed something. A strangled sound came from Sebastian and he stopped short, not sure what that sound was or where it came from. He tried to clear his throat and it came again, somewhere deep in his throat or belly, almost like a knelling wail. He willed himself to stop it and he managed but it was just stifled for a moment, it kept trying to break free and kept giving aborted tries.
"Sebastian!" Santana shouted and he looked to her in a panic, having never made this sound before, not knowing he could make it. Her reprimand did stop it though, her panicked gaze in return helping to strength him a little. They had to be strong for each other. "Brittany, please, don't be so smart and sensitive." Santana glanced at her and offered a small smile. "We unfeeling assholes can't handle emotions. We just don't know what to do with them and so when we do, we fall apart. That's the opposite of what all of us need right now. That can come later, ok?"
Brittany sighed and nodded and settled to just wrap herself around Sebastian's back, her ear resting on one of his shoulder blades as he returned to his earlier position. It was oddly comforting and he appreciated it. Santana was right, he would break down into a steaming pile of goo if he gave in to those deep dense emotions. Santana wasn't completely accurate though, he knew they both felt too much and so shoved it into a box that only had a hole that went one way. The hole was to shove more and more emotions into. His box was quite bloated by now and he was pretty sure hers was too. People like Rachel and Blaine just tossed their emotions around like throw blankets on everyone and everything. He doubted they actually felt them, they released them so quickly and moved on to the next thing.
The idea that Kurt could have been alone his entire stint in the hospital slayed him. Kurt.
He closed his eyes and without a task ahead of him to focus on and accomplish, he just focused on Brittany and her body's radiating head and weight on his back.
He very nearly managed to shut the rest of the world out when Santana shook his arm. "Eat." She shoved a bowl of cut fruit at him. He had no idea where she'd gotten that from. He ate dutifully and the simple sugars did help with his mood and disposition.
Most of what happened next was quite a blur to Sebastian. He remembered choking down food and drinks, remembered being bundled up and shoes shoved onto his feet and then he was in a car. He recognized the men in the vehicle with them. He scowled at them in return. "Where were you lot?"
"We called you, knocked on the door and sent you a detailed email. You told us to shove off. You only personally utilize us on rare occasions and Kurt wasn't due back for a few more days. You haven't hired us to tail him in other cities, just this one and the surrounding areas as it would be more obvious then. We didn't even know about the hospitalization until we investigated why he wasn't on his return flight as planned."
Sebastian scowled and shoved his hands into his pockets, glaring at the speaker. "I'm going to have to look over those contracts again, make some changes."
"Sebastian." Santana said, trying to caution him.
"Increase the protocols." Sebastian snapped back at her, not wanting to explain.
Santana opened her mouth, looked at Brittany who was back to swiping at her eyes whenever she thought no one was looking. She'd been doing that all day. Then Santana closed her mouth, not choosing to say what she was going to at this time.
"In which ways, sir?" The man asked and Sebastian looked back to him, thankfully he was in front of him as looking anywhere else was making him nauseous.
"You make sure I know he's not where he's supposed to be. You will ignore my snaps to go away until you make me understand. Maybe even tighten the perimeter around him."
"That's nuts, Sebastian, he doesn't even know you have men on him." Santana had her own men that her parents had instilled around her. She was given a lot of free reign and short of dismissing them totally, had control over their contracts and what they were expected to do. There were a few other stipulations too, but that was the general gist of it. "He's not going to be pleased to learn you've been surveilling him."
"I haven't, they're not there to report anything back to me, just ensure his safety!" Sebastian defended himself.
"He's still not going to like it." Santana warned and Sebastian ignored her, one problem at a time.
That lucid bit of time in the car was about it and then his head was on Santana's shoulder and his eyes closed and soon he was being jostled awake and out of the car. They pushed him down into a wheelchair, moved him about and then threw the blanket over him once more and a mask over his mouth and nose. He jolted upright somewhere in some hallway. "Wha- are we- Kurt-?"
"We're on the way, settle down." Santana held a hand against his shoulder, pushing him back in. The men were gone once more. Why had they been in the car again? "This is nuts, I should have had Brittany stay with you, help get you better and I should have come by myself to the hospital."
"No, no, I should be there for Kurt, he needs me, should be expecting me here. I should have been here before."
"Hell, if you'd been that out of it and sick and not eating since Wednesday and not even know it? Well, maybe it's a good thing you're here." Santana shook her head, her long hair brushing against his neck and ears when she did so with the way she was leaning over him. He squirmed away from the odd sensation. "Kurt had to have gotten water into you." Santana sounded melancholy. "If he hadn't come home early, would you have died? I should have stopped over myself."
"Hard, Santana, too hard." Sebastian slurred. "Was just a few days."
"Kurt would have called and asked you to check on him." Brittany pointed out. "He asked me to last time he was out of town for a week."
Sebastian remembered Brittany popping over with a plate of cheese. Had that really been from Kurt? It would be something he'd do and he would do it through someone else. "We should be doing that without reminders."
"How'd you even know he was gone then?" Sebastian asked, not sure why he was defending Kurt or them. It wasn't necessary even if it had been touching.
"Kurt always lets us know when he's planning to go and for how long and where." Santana said to Sebastian, giving him another odd look. "He tells his family everything."
"Family?" Sebastian knew he thought of Santana like a sister but Kurt did too?
"Bas, Kurt's family is massive." Santana teased. "He-you- honestly, you still don't get it? Are you even dating Kurt? I would have thought when you started living together- well, apparently not." Santana shook her head. "We'll talk about how bad of a boyfriend you are when you're feeling better. Can't believe you've been with him for so long and are just so out of the loop." She shook her head. "That's your fault, you don't ask any questions, just letting things flow around you."
"Thanks, Satan." Sebastian muttered, feeling a bit morose himself now and sinking further back into the wheelchair. "I could have walked."
Santana snorted and Brittany laughed and Sebastian just scowled- he was not pouting!
Their moods all nose-dived quickly when they reached Kurt's room and heard Rachel still sobbing. Brittany opened the door while Santana wheeled Sebastian in. Burt and Carole were already there and Sebastian felt his chest constrict, Kurt's parents had gotten here before him and hadn't sought to understand why he wasn't there? Burt eyed him wearily, looking over the wheelchair and the blanket and mask with questions clearly in his eyes.
Sebastian pulled his eyes away from Burt to look at his boyfriend. He started to wheel himself closer but Santana did it for him. Her hands were shaking though and Sebastian reached for Kurt's hand. He just sat there, staring at Kurt, his hand curved around Kurt's. He was numb, he didn't know how to feel. He thought... he thought he would cry seeing Kurt like this. Not a single tear fell.
Brittany sank down onto her knees next to Kurt, her hand stroking through Kurt's hair. "Kurt, Kurt, wake up, we're here. Kurtie?" She started pushing at his shoulder. "Kurtie?" Then both hands came out and she started shaking him and crying and Sebastian thought it was far too much. Yet, he just sat there and watched her carry on. Maybe she'd be successful.
"Brittany, Brittany, Brittany!" Santana gathered Brittany to her and held her, rocking her in her arms and whispering soothing sounds.
"Maybe it's best if she leaves the room for a little while?" Someone said, Sebastian didn't recognize the face. "She's upsetting the family."
"We're family!" Santana snapped and jumped to her feet, dragging Brittany up with her. She pushed Brittany into Sebastian's arms and onto his lap.
He started, this was more than he normally interacted with females and while he liked Brittany, she wasn't Santana. Sebastian didn't force her away, he reluctantly wrapped his arms around her and soothed her in a way she'd done for him earlier. It helped a little, for both of them actually.
Santana got right into the person's face, her tirade kicking up as she got closer. "We've been here with him every day for years! We've gone through all the ups and downs in each other's lives, we've lived together, we've cried and cheered and booed together. I'm one of the first he reaches out to when he needs to talk or share or just to let me know he's going to be out of town. I'm Sebastian's best friend who is Kurt's boyfriend and you have absolutely no right to tell us what to do or not do. We have emotions and feelings and have every right to express them how we see fit- and-" She lost steam as she ranted and her tirade fell off as she hiccuped and started to cry. She couldn't talk anymore, her voice just failed her and she fell back a step.
"Sorry." The girl mumbled, looking incredibly uncomfortable and a bit guilty in the face of so much emotion from the petite brunette. Her short blond hair had some tacky highlights and Sebastian was surprised that Santana hadn't gone for the kill with that detail. It just showed how upset Santana was that she didn't. "I didn't know, I thought this was the family." She waved at the ones with her.
Sebastian frowned a bit. "Who are you?"
"I'm Finn's fiancee." She announced with a smile which caused Rachel to frown. "My name is Quinn."
"I've never met you or even heard about you." Sebastian had never thought that he would be in the same camp as Rachel for anything.
Her smile faltered a little and she glanced over to the older adults in the room and then away again quickly. Why look to them? "I guess Kurt's been remiss."
"I've been out to visit, Finn's never mentioned you either."
"It's a more recent development. We haven't put labels on our relationship until recently." A look flickered over Puck's face behind her and Sebastian's eyes narrowed. There was more to that particular story.
Rachel's face was going through a lot of different emotions. He ignored her and turned his attention away from this girl who was unimportant. She'd probably be out of their lives soon, despite the label she'd given. That was insanity, even for Finn. He looked to Burt and Carole; he at least had a good reason to turn to them, an obvious reason. "What's wrong with him?"
"Car accident." Burt said gruffly, not expanding on it and Sebastian wondered if it's because he was overwrought with emotions and unable or if he was mad at Sebastian and unwilling to expand.
Carole sniffed and cleared her throat, taking over that role for her husband. "He's in a coma. They're unsure why, there's no obvious reason yet but they're monitoring his pupils and taking him periodically for head scans."
"You shouldn't be here." Finn blurted out, arms crossing over his chest. That was odd enough. No one was expecting Rachel to scream and fling herself at Sebastian.
"No! He stays!" Rachel ended up awkwardly over Sebastian and Brittany and he was so confused by everything that had happened just now. Everyone was looking at them oddly.
"I mean, he's sick." Finn let his arms drop down to his sides. "I just don't want Kurt to get sick too."
"Oh." Rachel dissolved into a puddle near Sebastian's chair and Brittany nudged her with her foot, trying to get her to move and stop sobbing.
This was all way too much emotion for the situation. Kurt wasn't actually hurt, just in a idiopathic coma. He'd pull through it. They were all overreacting. Still... "I'm not going anywhere." Then he looked down to Rachel. "Oh come on, Rachel! Pull yourself together."
"Hey, don't talk to her that way." Finn and Blaine said at the same time and they looked at each other in mild surprise.
"You didn't even call me." Sebastian pointed out. "Nor Santana."
"Called." Rachel shook her head as her entire body shook. "Called. Called."
Brittany slid off of Sebastian's lap and wrapped her arms around Rachel. "Hey, shush, it's ok, you called, ok, we know you did."
"Yeah, she called Blaine."
"She called you first." Blaine snapped. "When she couldn't get a hold of you, she called me and then his dad. She and I have been here for over a day. The Hudmels got here about two hours ago. What's your excuse?"
"I think his illness would have been fatal if Kurt hadn't intervened." Santana defended. "He hadn't ate or moved in days. Just slept and probably not a very rewarding sleep from the state of the place." Santana put a hand on Sebastian's shoulder. Sebastian's energy levels were depleting again, arguing with the lot of them had drained him and he started to nod off against Santana's hand. "If you're going to stay, a doctor is going to look at you. This is not normal."
"M'kay." Sebastian said sleepily. When they attempted to wheel him out though, his hand was still wrapped around Kurt's and both males nearly fell out of their hospital issued devices. They caught Kurt and moved Sebastian back toward him, adjusting him so he sat back upright.
"You have to let go of Kurt." Santana said gently and Sebastian shook his head. "Just his hand, just so the doctor can look at you. We'll bring you right back after that."
"That's what he always says and then he's always gone." Sebastian complained but they disconnected their hands and Sebastian curled his arms around his torso, holding himself in, trying to keep all his organs from falling out.
Next thing he knew, he was in a bed and lying on his back. He groggily looked around, he was alone in the room except for Santana who sat in a chair by his bed. There were a few beeps and things connected to him. Her face was buried in her hands. "'Tana?"
She looked up and there was relief on her face when she heard his voice. "You two are going to drive me to an early death with how worried you've both made me." She shook her head. "Thankfully we got you here on time. The doctor has you hooked up on to fluids and gave you some kind of medication that will help your immune system fight this virus off faster. You should start feeling yourself again in a day or two. If you'd been left alone in your apartment for another day, maybe two... we'd have two of you in comas if not worse." She shook her head and sniffed hard, forcing back her tears.
"I'm ok, 'Tana and Kurt's alive."
"Right." Santana agreed though she didn't sound convinced.
"Kurt's strong, he'll pull through this, he's been through worse." Sebastian was certain of it. Santana didn't say anything else about it, but Sebastian didn't mind. He knew Kurt would be fine in the end. They just sat there in silence and to Santana's credit, she didn't pull out her phone. Sebastian faded in and out for what seemed like days and every time he woke up, Santana was there or Santana and Brittany.
One time, Burt sat there across the room, and Sebastian was surprised he pulled himself away from Kurt's side to be with Sebastian. "I've called your folks. They should have been told you were this sick ages ago."
"You didn't need to do that Mr. Hummel." Sebastian had a weird relationship with his parents. He doubted either would show up and it would just be worse because they knew he was sick rather than just in the dark. Kurt would have understood and kept Sebastian's wishes when it came to that kind of thing.
"They're your first point of contact outside of Kurt and Santana and both of them are already here." He didn't add and already know because that was obvious and Burt didn't waste words.
"Any change?" Sebastian asked, he was a bit more with it this time.
"None." Burt cleared his throat and was so similar to his son, not wanting to look at Sebastian until he knew exactly what difficult thing he wanted to say. He would say it and look away again, Kurt had taught him that. Burt had taught him that too over the years. "I'm sorry I was a bit distant with you when you first arrived. We'd just gotten here ourselves and it was a lot to digest. I had expected you to be there and too wrought to call me yourself but you weren't there and then came in, in such a dramatic fashion."
"You thought I was putting on a show?" It was the least Sebastian like thing to do.
"I realize now that this all happened because you were sick." Burt cleared his throat, looking startled and Sebastian had never seen that look on the older Hummel's face before. He'd been caught favoring someone else and realizing he had messed up, but not startled like this.
Sebastian cut in before he could say anything more. "Yeah, I know, it's my fault. I'm so sorry."
"It's not." Burt stood and took a hesitant step toward Sebastian. Then he firmed his resolve and crossed the room so he was next to his son's boyfriend and he squatted, putting his hand on Sebastian's arm. "You're sick, deathly so if I've heard the doctors right and if it hadn't been for my son returning early, hadn't been for him in this hospital, you probably wouldn't have made it here yourself and it's very important you are. This saved your life. Kurt might have nursed you and gotten food and fluid into you but without medical intervention it wouldn't have been enough. You would have ended up here eventually but it might have been too late if Kurt had helped you improve your condition first. I heard that this is one of those illnesses that mimics improvement before it cuts the person out at the knees. It's a testament to how strong you are that you were able to go this long."
"Testament." Sebastian repeated and giggled because it was a funny word and his mind went into the gutter. Burt sighed and rested the back of his hand on Sebastian's forehead.
"Yeah, your fever hasn't broken yet." Burt moved the blankets around Sebastian more securely and paged one of the attendees to talk with them about Sebastian's condition. He was given a few more medications and he was out like a light. He would deny that he ever giggled like an immature 12 year old.
–
Sebastian's condition improved over the next few days while Kurt's remained unchanged. As predicted, his parents were nowhere to be found and Burt didn't say anything, but there was a new look in his eyes when he spoke with Sebastian. It was almost an aggressive protectiveness that Sebastian had seen toward Kurt before, especially when they told Burt about the bashing. Sebastian didn't know what to do with that kind of look directed toward him.
He was so improved though, that they let him wander the halls and sit with Kurt. They even moved a bed in there for him so he could get some sleep and help him recover without pulling him too far from Kurt in return. He was sure the only reason he was allowed even that was with Burt's permission. Hadn't they put Sebastian down at his first point of contact? Wasn't there a living will that specified that Sebastian was to be allowed to give or deny permissions and be informed on his condition? Maybe they didn't have it at this hospital, it wasn't the chain of hospitals that they usually frequented.
He didn't have much to say in those early days, mostly sleeping with his head on the bed next to Kurt's, their hands entwined. Guests came and went in different groupings and numbers, people Sebastian had never met came by and wished Kurt well. People he hadn't seen in awhile came by too and spoke with him in soft tones as if their raised voices would disturb Kurt. He would have laughed if it wasn't so painfully ironic. That's exactly what they wanted.
People they knew and saw frequently were the most frequent visitors. Burt and Carole stayed for a long time but Quinn had to go home and the three boys went with her. None of the boys wanted to go and then duty called and Burt and Carole had to go too but they promised to be up every chance they could and would be on the first flight if things changed.
They were all links in a chain and the chain was slowly crawling around Sebastian's neck, trying to choke him to death. Some days he couldn't even breath. He'd been discharged and given a clean bill of health, but he didn't leave. It didn't matter, he could do what he wanted without consequence. Or... no... he could do what he wanted in terms of work without consequences. Everything else he did, those actions came with very severe consequences.
He was Marley, every one of his actions had been another link to the chain he created with his own hands. He'd damned himself and this was his punishment, purgatory for the rest of his life.
Long dark hair flashed in his periphery as the petite girl sat down next to him. He didn't look her way, he just held Kurt's hand between the two of his, his chin resting on those knuckles as he looked at the face of the man he loved. "I told him to go." He said with a strangled breath. "I did this."
"No, you didn't." Arms wrapped around him but they were familiar but not ones he'd sank into before. He'd fought out of them every time they wrapped around him before. This time, he just let the vice grip squeeze him. He always forgot how strong she was until she wrapped them around him again. "It was an accident, the only one at fault was the guy who was going too fast for the weather conditions. He hydroplaned and nearly took out a whole street of pedestrians. Many of them were here for injuries and were treated and released. Kurt just was the most unlucky of the bunch."
"I told him to leave and he was going to leave me. He did leave me and he was never going to come back. I shouldn't be allowed to be here with him like this, I don't deserve it and he wouldn't want it." Yet he couldn't go anywhere, he refused to go until Kurt said it to his face.
"No, oh, Sebastian, no. He was on his way back to you, he was found with a lot of medications with him. I didn't get it at the time, I thought maybe he was coming down with something and stopped before heading home. It all makes much more sense now. He went out to get you some medication and was returning to your side."
"Out of pity." Sebastian muttered, pressing his lips to Kurt's knuckles. They were healing but they were still scratched up. "You're not supposed to be injured again." He complained as he pressed more kisses to those scratches. "Not for something so stupid, especially."
"He loves you and went to get supplies to care for you. He was going to nurse you back to health, not out of pity but love." Rachel refused to let him dwell on his darker thoughts.
"So he could have a clear conscious when he broke up with me." Sebastian insisted and he felt Rachel's head shake against his shoulder but nothing she or anyone else said would change his mind.
The chain he built was tethered to a weight and it would drag him deep into the trenches of the ocean and he would gladly drown as long as it meant he could be here with Kurt.