Chapter 11

Clarisse couldn't sleep at all, because she was thinking... thinking on the men in her life. She really didn't want to send Joseph away, but she knew she would not have been able to concentrate on him, there was to many things to think on. For a very long time she was so desperately in love with her husband, while she wanted nothing more just a small gesture what proves that he loves her. When they got married she was too young and did not realize that Rupert just wanted a perfect wife, who can run his life from the background... and Clarisse was perfect. Beautiful, young and intelligent, who had been raised rich, had attended the right schools and was deeply in love with her husband. But he was not that kind. His career was everything for him. Maybe he loved his wife on his own way, but that was far not enough for a young woman in love. And she tried everything... everything to get the smallest love or interest from her husband, but she never got it, and she was sure it was all her fault.

That was her life for quite a few years, when she finally met with the man, who showed her what love really means. Seeing the way as Joseph looked at her, feeling the gentleness and care in his moves showed her that she was completely wrong. She had to realized that her husband never ever loved her. This visit and his words were so unexpected, it totally confused her, she thought maybe that was what she was waiting for through the years, but deep inside she knew she was wrong... but she had to figure it out no matter what.

Stepping down on the stairs made her feel guilty. Guilty because she would have been with Joseph, instead of having breakfast with the man, who caused her so many pain through their long marriage.

"Good morning darling," smiled the King, taking down the papers in his hand. Hearing this word 'darling' from him seemed so... strange. He hasn't called her like that for a long time and now it sounded false... but he surely just wanted to be kind with her.

"Have you eaten already?"

"No, I have been waiting for you."

"That's kind," was her remark as she sat down... and he started talking. Talking about... she had absolutely no idea about what. As he started his conquering speech, a humming silence surrounded her. She was not able to concentrate on his words, just watched his gestures. The way as he talked, the way as he smiled... everything. And it all seemed so empty and false. A few years ago, she would have given anything for a morning like this, but now it meant nothing. The man in front of her once meant everything for her, but now he was just a stranger.

After breakfast they headed out for a 'romantic' walk, but the only thing she could see was Joseph's expression as they passed him. There was fear and sadness in his eyes, because he was afraid of he will lost her. Seeing the two men next to each other - with all the different expressions - was like a purification for her soul, she finally saw everything crystal cleared, bringing back the memories from the past day, how did it feel to being in Joseph's arms, feeling the love what she never felt before... and now looking at her husband, who was still talking about something, and he didn't even realize that she had never responded. He just wanted to convince her, convincing her wife... without mentioning those three little words.

"I think it's better if I go back to the house." said Clarisse, turning to face with her husband.

"What's the matter? I've thought we should go to the lake or something."

"I do not want to."

"You would like to do something else?"

"Like what?" She asked challengingly, started to feel frustrated.

"Anything you want."

"Do you really think this is what I want? Walking all day long?"

"I've thought it would be romantic."

"Of course... It seems after all these years you still know nothing about me. And not because you did not have the chance to get to know me, you just simply never cared."

"That's not true..."

"Really? Did you realize that I haven't said a word since breakfast?"

"..."

"You always deal with yourself."

"I care for you Clarisse, that's why I'm here. I'm trying to save our marriage, while you are just taunting all the time. I left my work just to be here with you to..."

"...You've never ever loved me," suddenly the words broke out from nowhere... and there was silence. They just looked at each other for long moments and his silence was the answer for all of her questions...

To be continued...