Kenny and Lee approached the group in better spirits. Against all the odds that were stacked against them, they got a train working. A train that goes straight to Savannah. Everyone aside from Katjaa stood and faced the two men, even Travis as he exited the RV.
"We don't got much left, so just gather whatever you have." Kenny announced, his eyes falling to his wife.
"What about the RV?" Travis asked, shutting the door behind him.
"We're leaving it." Kenny said plainly, attending to his wife quickly.
Travis crossed his arms and planted his feet, the only one staying still as everyone moved around him. "What if I don't want to go?"
"Unless some of y'all are a mechanic, that ain't moving." Kenny shook his head, hand intertwined with his wife as she struggled to stand. "I'm not sticking around to try to get it running, and I'm not gonna help you figure out how to get gas."
Travis hunched his shoulders and looked to the group, darting his eyes to every person. When no one matched his stare he scoffed, unwillingly following the group.
Ben was the first to hop in the supply cart, watching carefully as both of the injured bodies in the group neared the platform. When Sharon handed him her backpack everyone followed suit, he took the bags of those who neared and stacked it in a corner, along with the guitar.
"Who's is that anyways?" Travis asked, grunting as he attempted to climb inside. "Where'd it come from?"
"Some homeless guy that was living here, I think." Ben said, offering his hand to his shorter friend. "He was already dead so I pulled him out."
"With your bare hands?"
Ben looked down to the hand he offered, lips pursed as he in fact did drag not one but two filthy dead bodies today, bare handed.
Travis grimaced and turned away. "Yeah, I'm taking the ladder."
Ben didn't help anyone else in, sitting down as Sharon lifted Duck in to the train, then reaching out for Clementine.
"Kenny, I'm getting sicker." Kat said, trying to speak louder than the engine. "I can hardly walk, it's hard to breathe."
Carley discarded her empty can and hopped in, her hands delving into the boxes and strewn belongings almost immediately, carefully stepping over the stained mattress. Sharon lifted Clementine in and hovered her body near the edge, prepared to heft herself inside but she stayed in that position, eyes unfocused.
"What can we do then?" Kenny asked, dropping his crossed arms dramatically. "Out here we are sitting ducks. We get on the train and we find something better."
"I'm worried, Kenny."
"So am I. Jesus, do you think I'm not?"
"That's not what I said-"
"Look, let's just get on and we'll talk this all out later." Kenny turned away. "I'll be up front."
Sharon climbed in the second Kenny left, turning around to see Katjaa already behind her with on hand resting on the platform. It took a moment for her to get on, needing Sharon to help pull her up.
Travis flipped the thin mattress over hoping to find the underside cleaner, it wasn't so he flipped it back and laid down with his good arm under his head. Clem hugged her knees by the wall opposite of their luggage. Carley pulled out a short fold-up chair from behind a box and offered it to Katjaa. She accepted it gratefully, sitting in the back with Sharon and Duck accompanying her on the ground.
Ben offered Sharon her discarded can of mixed fruit, she dusted off some of the dirt from the lid and handed it to Duck.
The train jerked foreword, slowly moving at first and gaining speed. The RV disappeared in a moments notice and if only for a second, everything felt okay. They are moving again, progress is being made, everything might be okay. They have a moving shelter that can run over walkers with ease.
Lee stepped inside and tried talking to Clementine, the little girl stayed silent so he tried again with Carley.
Sharon knelt by Katjaa's side, listening intently to everything the sickly woman had to say and making sure she had everything she needed to be comfortable. Back when Kenny had banned her from leaving the inn, Kat stepped in to teach her a few things about being a doctor, mending wounds and patient care. Though nothing she could have taught would prepare either of them for this.
Katjaa's health deteriorated fast, in only a few minutes Sharon could see her skin turn ever more pale, eyes and cheeks were sullen, head was hot to the touch yet her body was cold, her whole body ached like she had ran a marathon or two, and she would lose consciousness occasionally. With one hand constantly checking for a pulse, Sharon could feel it beating differently, though with her lack of medical knowledge she had no idea what that meant..
"Sharon?" Katjaa's eyes squinted open, tears spilled out as she spoke. "I. . ."
"What's wrong Katjaa?" Sharon got closer to hear the gravelly quiet voice over the wind. "Are you okay?"
"Will you. . ." Katjaa struggled, her eyes drifting to Duck as he slowly ate. "Take care of Kenny and Duck for me? After this- they'll be heartbroken. . . I need you to watch them, okay?"
"I will." Sharon nodded. "I'll watch them for you. . ."
"When. . . When I- we. . ." Katjaa hesitated. "Kenny will be mad if I tell you, so don't say anything."
Sharon tilted her head.
"A few years before we had Duck, I was pregnant." Katjaa slowly looked to the passing scenery, causing a gentle breeze through her hair. "We were going to have a girl, we were so excited we set up a nursery as soon as we could, we picked this awful shade of yellow and covered the whole room with it, we didn't care we were so happy."
Katjaa coughed, bringing the napkin to her mouth until she could speak again.
"She. . . she was stillborn. She was so little. She would have been just a little bit younger than you by now." More tears streamed down Kat's face, yet she smiled. "You know, back when you first came to us Lee told me you were making noises in your room. . . you woke up one night needing help back to bed. . . when you looked up at me, you called me mom. . . I couldn't stop thinking about my little girl and for a moment, if not since then, I've been treating you like you were."
Kat didn't give Sharon any time to react.
"It's kind of why Kenny and I get so worried about you all the time, we can't help it." She coughed again, spurred by her attempt to laugh. "Sorry, I don't mean to. . ."
"No, no it's okay." Sharon smiled, blinking away the tears in her eyes.
"You're an adult with parents you were already close to, yet I didn't care. All I wanted to do was protect you and make sure you're okay. I once almost asked if you could call me mom again, it's so weird-"
"No, no Katjaa that's not weird. If that's what you want, I'll call you mom until you. . ." She bit her lip.
"I don't mean to impose." Kat dropped her smile. "I don't want you to feel forced."
"M-Mom, it's fine." The word felt weird when directed to Katjaa, her own mother in mind. "I don't mind."
Then she started coughing, her whole body wracked with spasms as she tried to cover her mouth. The napkin fell to the group, she roughly brought her hand to her mouth, blood seeped between her fingers.
"Sharon-"
Sharon grabbed the napkin from the ground and wiped the blood from Kat's mouth, staring at the dark stain it left. "Oh god, Lee!" Her heart raced and pounded against her chest, frustrated that the only thing she can do to help is wipe blood off her lips and watch.
Katjaa struggled to speak when Lee stepped over, her voice gritty and quiet in between the coughing. "I need you to go get Ken." Sharon dropped the dirty napkin to her side, holding tight onto Katjaa's hand. "I'm out of time. . . We need to stop this train."
"I'll watch her, Lee." Sharon looked up at him. "Please, stop the train."
Lee was out the door in seconds. Sharon reached for the napkin only to find it gone, she reached and took another from her backpack, wiping more blood away from the sickly woman's mouth.
Katjaa looked so fragile, pale, and tired. She could only take shallow breaths and struggled to continue talking.
Everyone momentarily lost balance as the train picked up speed, the grass turned to streaks of green and anything of interest whipped by in a flash.
"He's so stubborn." Katjaa groaned, wide eyes following her son as he shot up. "Duck, where are you going?"
Duck didn't answer, not even looking her direction as he slammed the door open and ran away to the engine car.
"It's okay." Sharon said, unsure if anything about this really was okay. "M-Mom, I-"
Katjaa started coughing again, this time unable to properly hold her hand up to cover herself. Sharon had to hold the napkin to stop blood from splattering on either of their clothes.
Everything overpowered her senses; the train roared, the cold wind blew harder sending loose papers flying around the cart, Katjaa couldn't stop coughing, everyone nervously stared at the both of them, even the air felt heavy.
Everything moved around while Sharon's body had been glued to the spot, frozen in time again. She can't help Kat, she can't help Kenny, she can't help Duck. She's been in this family for only a few minutes and all she can do is watch as they fall apart.
Sharon's throat squeezed shut, every nerve ending and survival instinct flared and urged her to breathe yet she is paralyzed. The feeling of her hand melting to fit in to Katjaa's hand didn't phase her, as if it didn't even happen.
"Sharon?" Katjaa wheezed. "You. . . you haven't worn your pajama's in a while, you used to wear those all the time."
Sharon didn't respond.
"You should go get it, you don't have to put it on." Katjaa reached out and took Sharon's hands. "Please."
Sharon stood, her hand slipping from Katjaa's as she stepped towards her backpack. She didn't even need to look, hands delving through the food and water, the neat way she had organized her bag fell apart as she tore the pajama pants from the very bottom of the bag and clutched it to her chest.
Then the engine stopped roaring, returning to its calming hum. The colors outside shaped into trees and foliage as train slowed to a stop.
Slowly the white blobs on the pajamas sharpened forming tiny and distinct unicorn silhouettes, her lungs filled with crisp fall air, the dark spaces vanished, everything felt. . . okay. . .
Sharon returned to Katjaa's side, both silent.
They both waited until the train completely stopped to move further, Katjaa couldn't stand for very long so she sat with her legs dangling under the platform, having to catch her breath solely from moving a few feet.
Kenny and Duck hopped down from the engine cart, rushing up to Katjaa with similar faces. For a moment they almost smiled when Katjaa looked up at them, they have time to say goodbye. The bags under her eyes and clammy skin wiped the happy thought in an instant, they have to say goodbye.
"Boys, it's. . . It's time."
Kenny's lip quivered as he tried to think something to say. "What- w-what are we going to do. . .?"
Katjaa wheezed as she struggled to stay balanced. "I can't become one of those things, Ken. . ."
"But what if. . . what if you don't turn?" Duck asked, nearing his mother's side. "You could have gotten scratched, you could be-"
"Ducky, I love you very much, I love you both more than life itself. I'm sorry that I didn't prepare you for this. . ." Katjaa let a tear fall as her voice slipped. "What you are saying, that I may not turn, is foolish."
"But-"
"No."
"Isn't there some sort of pill, or something we can give you?" Kenny turned to Sharon for a second, continuing when she stayed silent. "You can just drift off to sleep, right, hon? Come on, Kat. What are we going to do? I mean, Jesus, what are you-"
"I KNOW." Katjaa took hold of Sharon's hand and squeezed it. "But we know it's. . . here." She pointed to her temple. "Or nothing."
"Well, fuck, just. . . who then? You want me to?"
"You don't have to."
"Kat, I- Fuck, I can do it, I can-"
Lee spoke up. "I'll do it."
The couple shut their mouth simultaneously, almost unaware that Lee had followed the boys from the engine car.
Katjaa shook her head. "No, I should do it."
Lee took a step forward. "No one should have to do this. . ."
Kenny dropped his shoulders, only managing to look his wife in the eyes for a second before looking back to the ground. "Lee is right hon, we can say our goodbyes and. . . let that be it. . ."
"Lee, you'd be doing this family a great service." Katjaa cleared her throat, holding her hand to her chest as she took in a few deeps breaths.
"Mommy?" Duck took a step away, blinking away the heavy tears in his eyes as his mother swayed. "A-Are you-"
"No, Ducky. I'm still here." Kat let go of Sharon and reached her hands out to her husband, relaxing in his grasp. "Why don't we go in the forest, so everyone else doesn't have to see."
They stayed silent, watching as Katjaa struggled off of the platform with her husbands help, each step she took dragged against the dirt.
As they neared the forest, Kenny looked up surprised to see Sharon still by his wives side. "Kid, you don't-"
Katjaa stopped him. "Kenny, she is coming with, okay?"
Kenny put his arm around Katjaa's back and so did Sharon, Duck took Kenny's free hand and they passed the trees, each uneven step harder than the last. It was a short distance until they reached a small clearing, the train's engine almost blended in with the rest of the forest noises from this far away.
With help Katjaa sat down next to a tree, resting her weary eyes for a few moments. The boys took a step away as the woman's breathing slowed.
Katjaa lifted her hand, hovering it in the air slowly. "Sharon. . ."
The young woman knelt to her mother's side and took the wandering hand, leaning close to hear past the wheezing. "There is so much I wish I knew about you, but so little time to learn."
Sharon tried to think of something to say, anything that might rid Kat of her regrets or ease her pain. Nothing came to mind.
"I. . . I love you. . ." Both women had tears freely streaming down their cheeks, though Katjaa is too weak to keep her eyes open. "Take care of your father and Duck, okay?"
"I love you too, mom." Sharon whispered. "I'll make sure they're safe. . . I promise."
"And. . . I'm sorry."
"About what?"
Katjaa took a deep breath and bloodshot blue eyes met hazel. "For leaving."
The older woman reluctantly looked away, eyes meeting her son's. Kat reached her free hand and beckoned the boy to come to her side. Sharon's skin sprouted goosebumps when the sickly woman's fingers left her grasp, now reaching out for Duck.
With the two pulled close Sharon stood up, backing away as they said their goodbyes. Hand to her mouth, Sharon meant to stand by Kenny's side but instead she walked past him, stopping at the edge of the tree line. Even from here Katjaa's struggled breaths cut through the air.
This is happening.
"Kat-"
Sharon whipped around, her knees weak as Duck ran from his mother, though not in fear. Before she understood what he was doing his arms wrapped around Sharon's waist, his face buried into her side as he wept. She knelt down and hugged him properly, accidentally facing herself to stare directly at Katjaa.
Kenny was the last to speak to his wife, the two had so much to say to the other but time was fading fast. Her final words were uttered under hollow breaths, chest rising and falling heavier than before.
Her time is up.
As if on cue, Lee's footsteps crunched through the leaves and twigs making his arrival obvious to all of them, though no one turned to look.
Kenny stood up, giving Katjaa one last kiss before backing away, muttering final words under his breath that he wasn't sure she could hear.
This is really happening.
"C'mon." Kenny said, approaching what's left of his family. "Let's go."
With one last look at Katjaa they bowed their heads. Sharon stood, her arm around Duck and Kenny's arm around her.
Lee hesitated to pull the gun from his waistband, watching as the family disappeared behind the brush. He said his own goodbyes as Katjaa faded away, her eyes slowly shutting and her breathing slowed to a stop.
When the three came within a few feet of the train the gun shot echoed through the woods. Even though it was expected they flinched anyways.
She's gone.
Katjaa is gone.
Inside the engine cart Kenny sat back down on the conductor's seat, taking Duck on to his lap and encouraging Sharon to stay close to his side.
Travis joined them for a brief second, brushing past them with hushed apologies for bothering them. He stood at the front of the engine car, leaning over the railing carefully and staring at the same horizon the three inside couldn't look away from.
Then Lee came in, his voice bouncing off the walls as he spoke. "We're ready, Ken."
Kenny nodded and lightly shifted the throttle in position. Once the train reached a comfortable speed Kenny leaned back and hesitantly reached his arm around Sharon, she leaned into him and rested her hand on his shoulder, absentmindedly fiddling with the collar on Duck's shirt.
The ride was silent aside from the roar of the engine and Duck's occasional sobs. Kenny said nothing, comforting his son with warm embraces and occasionally looking to see if Sharon is okay.
Lee had gone back and forth between them, asking for a map from a bin at one point. He had offered Kenny a sip of whiskey, then offering Sharon a sip as well though she declined. He didn't try to talk to them further.
The last visit from him he walked through straight to Travis. The angle was awkward but Sharon could see from his face he is furious, she could feel it from him as he stomped by.
When Lee reached him Travis stood straight, they seemed to be arguing. From inside the control room the three couldn't hear it, Kenny couldn't see it from his angle but Sharon can, it's getting heated out there.
Travis looked shocked then returned to angry as he said a few more words, Lee returned the shocked expression and turned to face Sharon directly, wide eyes locked.
Oh no.
"I'll be right back." Sharon whispered, not waiting for Kenny to reply to step out to the little walkway, it wasn't big enough for a crowd so Travis backed away to make room for her, carefully holding on to the railing.
"I thought I was the only one keeping secrets." Lee crossed his arms. "You were stealing supplies? What the hell is wrong with you?"
Her skin paled. "Lee, what- how much did Ben tell you?"
"He told me it was only him, though Travis is telling me there's more to the story." He sneered. "So speak up."
"Christ." Sharon faced the oncoming wind, eyes watering as she stared at the never ending tracks. "It started with Ben, the bandits said they had one of his friends and were holding him for ransom."
Lee scoffed.
"It was a stupid mistake, but when someone puts a gun to your head you don't say, 'no.' I knew they were lying from the start." Sharon crossed her arms. "And we didn't steal all of the supplies."
Lee's eyebrows turned upwards. "What do you mean?"
"When Ben and Travis had nightshift I would sneak out and get supplies from the city, if I was desperate I would go back to the dairy."
He dropped his arms. "The dairy?"
"You went back there?" Travis whispered.
"They had leftover morphine and it was surrounded with walkers. The bandits don't know about the blood trick so I went where they couldn't." She shuddered, both from the cold and the memories of smearing rotted walker blood on her coat. "I checked every building I could find and picked it clean, I know you and Kenny liked going to that pharmacy so I stayed clear of it."
"You. . ." Lee hesitated. "You went out there all by yourself?"
"I had to." Sharon shrugged. "I had a whole stockpile in my bag ready to go just in case the bandits wanted more, or if I. . . if I didn't come back."
Lee didn't shut his mouth.
"I told Ben to just blame me, that way if Lilly wanted to kick me out then I would have another excuse to leave." She sighed. "Or if I didn't come back to tell everyone about it anyways."
Lee closed his mouth and looked away for a second. "Lilly had all these 'suspicions' about you, said something about bruises and sleep walking. . . I guess she was right, huh?"
Sharon nodded. "The supplies in my bag were left over from my runs to the city."
"Is that where you're getting all these cloth napkins?"
Sharon pulled one out of her pocket, then stuffed it back. "I got it from a fancy restaurant, took a whole bunch."
Travis huffed. "It's getting a little cramped over here, are you done?"
"Yeah, we're done." Lee crossed his arms again. "We won't tell Kenny about the deal right now, but he needs to know."
Sharon nodded, Lee turned and made sure Travis agreed to stay silent. Sharon opened the door and stepped aside to let Lee pass, her ears adjusting to the enclosed space.
When Lee left the room Duck welcomed her with a hug. "I'm tired, but I can't sleep."
She frowned. "Yeah?"
Kenny spoke up. "Every other night Katjaa used to sing Duck to sleep, tried makin' me do it when he was little but Duck wouldn't have it. 'Only mommy can do it.'" He smiled.
"Was she good?" Sharon asked.
Duck shook his head, arms still wrapped around Sharon's waist. "Not really, but I liked it because it was her singing it."
"Duck was sayin' you said you worked at a church." Kenny said. "Somethin' about singing?"
"Could you sing for us?" Duck's voice muffled against her side.
Sharon's cheeks flushed. "I, uh, never sang for just two people before. Are you sure you want me to?"
"I'm really sleepy." Duck nodded again, ruffling her shirt in the process. "Please?"
Sharon held back a sigh, pulling Duck away from her long enough to find somewhere in the room to sit. She took the corner farthest from both doors, arms outstretched inviting Duck to lay down.
Once he was comfortable Sharon cleared her throat, testing her voice with a few hums, a familiar Johnny Cash song playing in her head. "I haven't sung in awhile so I wont be as good."
"I don't think he minds." Kenny muttered.
She wished she had the guitar in her lap, the strings would help piece a song together and muffle the sound of the engine. Though she decided that it would be awkward to use it with Duck laying on her lap.
She wished Lisa was here to sing with her.
Sharon took a breath. "At my door the leaves are falling, a cold wild wind will come. Sweethearts walk by together, and I still miss someone."
She paused, hearing the chords in her head.
Clearing her throat she continued. "I go out to a party and look for a little fun, but I find a darken corner, 'cause I still miss someone."
For a moment she thought this song isn't appropriate for the situation, if they take away the 'breakup' tones to it and replace it with 'death' not much would change.
"Oh, I never got over those blue eyes, I see them everywhere. Oh, I miss those arms that held me, when all the love was there." Deep breath. "I wonder if she's sorry, for leavin' what we'd begun. There's someone for me somewhere, and I still miss someone."
Duck had fallen asleep quickly, but she continued anyways as Kenny locked eyes with her.
"Oh, I never got over those blue eyes, I see them everywhere. I miss those arms that held me, when all the love was there. I wonder if she's sorry, for leavin' what we'd begun. There's someone for me somewhere, and I still miss someone."
Kenny brought his hand to his mouth, taking a deep breath and smiling. He pulled his hand away. "That was lovely, sweetheart."
Sharon smiled in return, rubbing her fingers over Duck's arm.
"Next time can you pick something a little more. . . cheery-?"
She almost asked about 'next time' until Travis's muffled voice cut through the room. "Uh, Kenny?!"
Kenny whipped his head up, standing up suddenly. "OH SHIT!" He gripped the throttle and slammed it down. "HOLD ON EVERYBODY!"