It took longer than Kenny would have liked to pry Sharon from the walker child, she begged for more time with Fivel though her voice never raised above a whisper as if all of her energy had been drained the moment she stepped in to the room. However the boy showed no recollection nor hesitance to try to bite either of them.
Once Kenny pinned Fivel down and Sharon had both hands off him she finally gave up, suddenly compliant as her fingers were no longer being pulled from the child's arms. She backed away until her back hit the bedside table, her figure shrinking in the corner.
Carley, hearing the commotion, quickly swung the door open with her gun in hand. She had to do double takes of every detail in the room, shocked to see such a young child squirming under Kenny's shoe and Sharon hiding herself in the corner.
"What's going on?"
Kenny's tongue caught in his throat as he tried to find a way to explain the situation calmly, or even think of what to do next. Instead they stood in silence as the walker's growling and Sharon's heavy breathing became the only noise in the room.
After far too long Kenny finally found the words, delivering it monotonously. "Carley, I need you to go downstairs and make sure the kids stay in the living room, far from the stairs. I'll be down in a minute."
Carley's feet planted in the spot. With the walker child, Kenny's sorrowful eyes, and Sharon's light sobbing she didn't know what to make of the situation. All it took was one more pleading look, a sign that Kenny hasn't lost his mind, a sign that he is serious. Make sure the kids stay in the living room.
Once alone Sharon lowered her hands until both were limp on the ground, no longer ashamed of her messy tear stained face. She looked to Kenny then to the walker, her chin trembled as she tried to speak free of cracks and squeaks.
"His name is Fivel."
Kenny looked down to Fivel still under his boot, the walker instincts driving the boy to claw and find a way to eat the man above him.
"I knew him since he was a month old, baby sat him since he was five, helped him with English homework. He trained his dog not to get to close to me, he knew I was scared of dogs."
"Sharon. . ."
"He starved to death." Her eyes slowly drifted to the scratch marks the dresser made on the hardwood floor. "I think he moved Lisa's wardrobe over to door and when he realized no one was coming for him he. . . he was too weak to move it back. I could hardly move it. No one made it back. Their cars aren't in the driveway, her last bottle of medication is still on her desk, everything else is ransacked."
Suddenly Sharon's head shot up, spinning her body around to face the bedside table and pull open the drawer.
"Sharon-"
She rifled through and pulled out what she was looking for, a pocket knife. Turning back around she stood on wobbly legs, unfolding the smooth metal from the wooden grip and staring at the walker still pinned to the ground.
Although she had the weapon in position she didn't move from the spot, the blade drawn with no intention of actually going through with the deed.
"Hey." Kenny's voice neared a whisper. "You don't have to do this."
"I can do this." Sharon had hoped she had no more tears left. "I can do this."
"You shouldn't have to. I couldn't. . . when Katjaa. . ." He sighed. "Lee did it for me so I wouldn't have to, I can do this for you."
"But I can." Sharon pleaded, her voice cracking. "I can."
"I believe you, I do. You can do this, and you don't have to." He held his hand out. "Give me the knife, Sharon."
Sharon finally looked back up to him looking for any hesitancy or doubt, a sign that she should do it instead, an excuse to be strong.
She handed over the knife.
Kenny and Lee dusted off their hands and shared equally grim looks, they had exchanged no words during the burial, wishing to get the deed done quickly and rush back inside. Though, now that they have reached the door they needed to pause, take a breath before seeing everyone else again.
A moment of uninterrupted silence for Fivel.
With one last approving nod Lee open the door.
Once the men came back inside Christa and Ben walked away from their injured companions, meeting in the dining room. Carley came back from upstairs, she quickly returned when she saw they were waiting for her.
"So the house is clear." Christa crossed her arms, this time not from contempt but to hold herself, she hated seeing that young boy even for the few seconds she did. "Are you two going to head out?"
"Yeah, y'all remember the plan?"
"The Wright Square" Christa nodded. "Sharon pointed it out on the map back on the train, we can figure out how to get there from here."
"How long should we wait?" Carley asked.
"As long as you can." Kenny said, raising his hands to his hips. "If all goes well we will only be gone for an hour or two."
"And if everything goes to hell, you should stay at the park until you only have a day worth of rations." Lee said. "This whole town seems to be picked clean, there's no use to stay here and starve."
Carley nodded. "Sharon's bag has most of the rations, we can count all of what's left while you are gone."
"Good idea." Lee said. "You should divvy it up while you are at it, make sure everybody has a little bit in their bags incase you get separated."
"Actually," Kenny interjected. "Carley, I want you to watch the house while we're gone, you're the best shot and I trust your to watch over everyone. I want Ben to help Christa split up the supplies."
"Yeah, okay." Ben smiled. "I can do that."
Before the two men started to gear up to leave Carley stood at the backdoor, peeking out to check for walkers, then turning back so get Lee's attention. "When you're done I want to talk to you."
Lee nodded. He checked his gun to make sure it's loaded and tightened the holster on his belt, he noticed it was loose during the walk from the train though didn't have the time to fix it until now.
Before leaving he said his goodbyes to Clementine and asked her to stay here and be brave while he is gone, promising he'll be back soon.
Kenny said the same to his son, glad to see Duck and Clementine quickly head off to explore the house once he said one final goodbye, though as they reached the stairs he frowned and turned towards the door that had just clicked shut.
He rushed over and opened it, startling Carley and Lee.
"Sorry, I know you two wanted a moment before we leave but I just gotta ask you-" He shut the door behind him before continuing. "To keep a close eye on Sharon."
Carley and Lee hesitated, the latter speaking up after they exchanged looks. "Ken, that little boy we buried. . . I'm guessing she knew him?"
"He was Lisa's brother, yeah."
"Damn." Lee shook his head.
"Right now I'm scared she's going to do something while we're gone. Just. . . just check up on her now and then, I'd appreciate it." Kenny wanted to say more, instead he disappeared behind the back gate with his rifle in his hands.
"Damn." Lee repeated, returning his attention to Carley. "Anyway, what did you want to talk about?"
Carley's eyes shot wide open, suddenly remembering what she needed to say, the confidence she built vanished with Kenny slamming the door open. Her heart skipped beats as she took in a breath, she could feel her skin pale and something on her arm burned.
"You feeling okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine." She lied, taking a deep breath before continuing. "Stay safe out there, I don't know what we would do if you got hurt out there."
Lee grinned. "You mean: you don't know what you would do."
The cold feeling in her skin turned to heat. "I'm not going to deny that, I don't know what I'd do if you weren't here." Her demeanor turned serious though the blush on her face stayed. "Get back here as soon as possible."
Lee inched closer. "Is that an order?"
Carley closed the gap between them, nearly cutting Lee off as their lips met. This time Lee was prepared, not standing in shock like he did back at the Inn. He leaned in, easing her down off of her tiptoes.
Just as the kiss started she felt a cold shiver down her spine, a reminder. She broke off and looked away, Lee's eyes on her almost hurt. She quickly regained her composure and confidence, for his sake.
"Yes."
When Carley stepped back inside Ben asked her to come with him upstairs to grab Sharon bag, as he is too nervous to go up there alone. She agreed as long as he just takes the bag and goes back down, claiming she needs to talk to her alone for a little bit.
As they reach the second staircase they heard talking from above, light and calm voices. From here they couldn't distinguish one from the other, for all they knew Sharon was talking to herself up there. With Ben right behind her they silently ascended, craning their necks to see inside the partly open door before opening it fully.
On the floor where only moments ago Sharon was sobbing while holding Fivel now sat the same young woman, this time smiling while holding a stack of papers in her hand, Clementine and Duck peered over her shoulder to look at their old drawings. With each picture the kids would point and comment on it, one Duck claimed that he didn't see how a drawing of a dog is a goat, then was even more confused when Clementine said it is a dog.
When Sharon switched to the next drawing she noticed Carley and Ben watching over them. When they didn't speak she neatly folded the papers and put it all back in her bag, the kids whined about their distraction being disrupted but didn't ask any questions.
Sharon spoke first. "The kids told me Kenny and Lee left."
Carley nodded. "Before he left Kenny said we should divide the food between our bags, incase we get separated. If you're alright with it, Ben is going to take it downstairs to count."
Sharon stood with her backpack in her hands and reached her arm to Ben, who still stood on the staircase. Ben grabbed on, his heart squeezing as she didn't let go, forcing him to make eye contact. Sharon darted her eyes to the bag then back to him, ending the moment with a curt nod, hoping he would understand what she wanted him to do without saying it out loud.
He seemed to get what she meant and timidly walked down the stairs, still recovering from the mix of social anxiety and not being able to stay and talk to his friend, his friend who has grown distant ever since leaving the inn.
As he left he could hear Carley speaking. "I was hoping to talk to you about something else."
When reaching the bottom of the stairs he found the bathroom and set the bag on the counter, without hesitation he looked through each pocket to find anything that Christa or anybody else that may pass by shouldn't see.
The notebook that had her plans of running away from the Motor Inn, the handfuls of white handkerchiefs that came from a restaurant Lee and Kenny never scavenged near, a pill bottle that he figured wasn't enough to trade to the bandits, and the shirts she would use to stop the cans from clanking together.
He stuffed everything he could in the smallest pocket upfront where she had her personal items. The one thing he noticed missing was the unicorn pajamas, though figured she had them on her as she never goes anywhere without it.
By the time he left the bathroom the kids had left the attic and now sat in the bay window just outside the office, talking quietly. It was odd to see Duck whispering, he usually never cared how loud he was even when they were out on the road. They even stopped when they saw Ben was staring at them, though continued when he turned away.
Ben was surprised Christa had already spread out her belongings on the dining room table. As he set Sharon's heavy bag down he noticed Carley's backpack and the shoulder bag he shared with Travis sat just under the table.
"Travis said to go ahead and pull everything out of your bag." Christa said, gesturing to the two bags. "I wanted to wait until you got here."
"Thanks." He smiled, pushing Sharon's bag closer to her. "You can take everything out aside from the front pocket, that's all Sharon's things."
Christa took the bag and respected their privacy, taking only the food and supplies out from the large pocket. When everything had been pulled out Ben and Carley's bag had been emptied.
"Have you ever done this before?" She asked, inspecting one of the bottles of water.
"No, Lilly- um. . ." Ben hesitated, blinking away the sudden wetness in his eyes. "We had someone else do it for us."
"Alright then, we're doing this my way." She looked again to the jumbled pile of supplies. "First, we organize."
As they sorted Christa remained patient with him, even as he asked which pile beans go in to, then if chili counts as beans, then if refried beans counted as beans, then if tomatoes go in the fruit or veggie pile. She didn't raise her voice though remained nearly stoic, only ever cracking a smile at seeing certain food items.
They were so focused on their task they didn't even notice Clementine and Duck leaving through the backdoor.
In the end they had a pile for supplies, anything inedible, canned meat, canned fruits/veggies, dry packets, leftovers, and anything unlabeled.
"Now that we're sorted we need to list it down." Christa pulled a notebook from her bag and turned to a blank page. "I need you to read to me the brand name, the calorie count, and the expiration date, if it has one."
Ben complied, starting with the dry packets and compared it to the water bottles, they didn't have enough water to make every packet meaning they would need to boil rainwater. The protein bars are the most valuable as they hold more variety of nutrition than anything else on the table, those were moved far from the rest of the food.
"So, uh." Ben turned the can in his hand. "Are you and Omid married or just. . . together?"
Christa looked up from her notebook, enjoying how panicked the boy looked when she did. "Together."
Ben pressed his lips together and focused all attention to the can in front of him, he couldn't find an expiration date. As he grabbed the next can Christa sighed.
"He was going to propose at the end our trip."
"Oh." Ben set the can down and brought up a new one, reading the brand name out then spinning it to look for the calories. "Did he propose anyways? I mean, your trip didn't really 'end'."
"No." Christa quickly glanced over to where Omid rested. "I found the ring in his bag."
"Oh man." Ben smiled wide. "Does he know you know?"
"He better." Christa didn't take her eyes off the couch. "Once I found it I was the one that proposed."
"You proposed with his own ring?"
"At the time I was positive we weren't going to live to see the next day. I figured if he still had the ring after all we'd been through he still wanted to propose, and what's more romantic than a near death experience?"
"You got that right, babe." Omid piped up, sitting up to see her from over the couch. "I don't want to interrupt, but I'm not feeling too good and Travis is, uh. . ."
Christa quickly set the notebook on the table and rushed to their side.
Clementine huffed, standing up from her spot on the rug.
"Go downstairs and stay with Christa." Sharon said, trying to get a response out of the little girl. "Let me know if Travis needs help, okay?"
Clem nodded slowly and followed Duck down the stairs, vanishing from view as Sharon shut the door behind her.
Now alone in the room Carley didn't respond, lips pursed as she tried to think of what to say. This is odd coming from her, Carley was usually the one that said whatever came to her mind, so often that Lilly and Kenny hardly listened to her. Silent and thinking wasn't a good sign coming from her.
Finally she spoke. "Are you okay?"
Sharon turned away, picking up her pajama pants from the ground. "What do you need?"
"Sharon, Kenny told me about the boy being Lisa's little brother." This obviously wasn't what she wanted to talk about, the quick mention of Fivel sent a pulsing sensation around the room. "If you want to talk about it I'm here for you, just because we're not at the inn anymore doesn't mean we can't talk."
"I know." She nodded. "I can't, Carley I. . ." Sharon started to pace, mumbling the startings of sentences, after the third time she reached the bed she sat on it, the wood creaking with the sudden weight shift.
Sharon wrapped the pajama pants around her neck like a scarf, just the closeness of the fabric slowed her beating heart and calmed the shifting room. Carley slowly stepped closer, the sun reflecting off her pale clammy skin was enough distraction for Sharon to focus on to avoid talking about Lisa.
"Actually. . ." Deep breath. "You're looking kinda pale, are you okay?"
Sharon had always been patient with Carley, answering her knock on the wall when she needed to share nightmares whenever she was awake. Now that she is suffering she deserves to be heard, she should feel that she can share her grief.
Now that Sharon had asked Carley wanted dodge the question, but the urge to blurt out what's wrong became overbearing.
She mention her pale skin. "That's just it. . ."
Carley rehearsed what she wants to say in her head, trying to find a way to let her on slowly. She sat on the bed, far enough away so their knees don't touch.
"I'm sorry to do this to you, when I was going to tell Lee I panicked but this isn't something I can hold from him, he deserves to know and so does everyone else."
"Carley?"
"God, I think I'm going to throw up."
As Carley's hands fell from her mouth and rested on her stomach Sharon got an idea. Flashes of the baby boy she took care of, the little boy she was going to raise, baby that died under her care.
"No. . ." Sharon inched away. "Carley are you. . ."
Carley looked away, only confirming the thought in Sharon's mind. The scars on her arms began to itch.
"Pregnant?"
"What?!" Carley's shoulders quickly dropped. "No, no, I'm not pregnant I-"
"Oh-thank-god." Sharon's heart raced, the brief panic of having a baby in the group still fresh in her mind as she thought about the possibility of that happening, as they have two couples in the group now.
Carley waited for Sharon to calm herself, even following along in the deep breaths to calm her own beating heart.
"I'm sorry, as you were saying?" Sharon asked, anxiety still rumbling in her stomach.
"This is worse than a baby, Sharon."
Carley returned her hands to her stomach, this time Sharon noticed she had unzipped her jacket, hand hovering over a red spot that bled through her green top. Painfully she separated the cloth from the wound, lifting it up fully to expose the torn skin.
"I got this back at the church."
The attic dropped a few degrees in temperature, a cold chill sprouting goosebumps over Sharon's skin. Light replaced the room around them.
How did this happen?
How could she have stopped this?
"When Ben ran away from protecting Clem-"
Ben ran past Sharon, gun in hand, away from the little girl that needed his help. Clementine's two protectors ran to her aid; Carley carved a path through dead walkers to reach the child quickly, Lee wasn't as good a shot.
"I tried to hold all the walkers off but they were all coming towards me."
Ben tried to run past Sharon, she grabbed his wrist and forced him to stop, a shout, a demand. Clementine's three protectors ran to her aid; Carley carved a path through dead walkers to reach the child quickly, Lee wasn't as good a shot, Ben was never good at shooting.
"One almost grabbed Clem so I put myself in the way."
Ben tried to run past Sharon, she grabbed his wrist and forced him to stop, a shout, a demand, someone to lean on. Clementine's four protectors ran to her aid; Carley carved a path through dead walkers to reach the child quickly, Lee wasn't as good a shot, Ben was never good at shooting, Sharon only had arrows. Behind her Duck was left to fend for himself, Kenny was overpowered.
"After seeing Kat go through it I. . ."
With a blink Travis was in front of her, bleeding from his shoulder, being pushed inside the RV. To her right Lee was shooting both walkers and bandits, desperately trying to rescue Clem, Duck, and Katjaa. Clementine ran to safety, a walker pinned Kat to the ground.
"I'm so scared."
Travis was pushed inside the RV, Lee was desperately trying to rescue Clem, Duck, and Katjaa. Sharon rushed to help, bullets flew from all directions, all she has is a screwdriver.
"Sharon I'm so scared."
Ben ran past Sharon, she grabbed his wrist and forced the gun from his fingers. The heavy object now rested in her hands, finger on the trigger, lining the sights, a bleeding stomach, on the ground, alone.
"I don't want to die."
Sharon lunged so suddenly Carley flinched, the movement scared both of them. She continued this time the movement being natural, pulling Carley in a hug. They both relaxed in to the contact, the closeness of another human being enough comfort to pull them from their breakdowns.
"I don't want to die."
Sharon nodded, letting her know she was heard. Her eyes drifted around the room, focusing on the familiar room, particularly the pictures of Lisa on her vanity.
"I'm sorry."
The pictures seemed to be the only bright thing in the room, everything else was disorderly and dusty, the room didn't smell like her anymore. Lisa would have spent all of a manic episode cleaning it.
Sharon shook her head. "Don't say sorry."
If she were here. She won't ever be. She'll never be.
"But I am." Carley pushed herself from the hug. "With all that you're going through right now, you don't need me throwing all my problems at you."
With Carley now forcing her to make eye contact, Sharon realized she has hardly listened to a word she had said, instead focusing on Lisa. A dying woman is confiding in her, a friend is needing her support, and she isn't listening.
Why is she thinking about Lisa?
What has turned her to be so selfish that she can't think of anything but her girlfriend?
Sharon couldn't save Carley, and now she's trying to focus on anything but her.
Lisa wasn't there when she had nightmares, Carley was. Lisa wasn't there to support her, she only seemed to show when she felt like it, appearing around the inn at seemingly random intervals. Carley has supported her since they met and she's APOLOGIZING?
"No."
Carley is here, but not for long. She deserves better than how she's been treated.
"No?"
She doesn't have to feel bad about needing support. She shouldn't say sorry for dying, this isn't her fault. It's Sharon's.
"This is important, you don't have to apologize to me."
Sharon's problems are nothing right now, Carley is going through the worst moment in her life and she is scared, she doesn't need to hear about Sharon's problems, she shouldn't be wasting her time with Lisa.
"I'm with you, I'm here for whatever you need."
"We'll both be going through a hard time, then." She tried to laugh, but it only escaped her lips as a sigh. "I just hope Lee gets back soon, before I. . . before I turn."
Sharon wished she had said these things sooner, but instead she was focusing on how much she missed Lisa. Who else has she treated this way? She thought back to how she treated Ben back at the inn, how he was nearing panic attacks and she'd distance herself so she wouldn't have to deal with him.
"I have to tell the group." Carley straightened her back and wiped the tears from her face. "They need to know."
"I'll come with you."
"You don't have to."
"I know." Sharon nodded. "I'll be right there with you."
Carley smiled, thankful for the support. They stood and took a few more moments just breathing, gaining composure. Carley didn't feel better taking deeper breaths though she needed to get this over with quickly.
When they left the room they were surprised to see Christa and Ben at the bottom step, both with wide eyes.
"Oh, hey." Christa's hand left the handrail. "The kids aren't up there, are they?"
Sharon and Carley looked to each other and shook their heads. "What do you mean?" Carley said, needing to cough to clear her throat.
Christa paced to the guardrail to look to the ground floor, then turned back to face the others. "We had to move Travis and Omid upstairs, they weren't feeling good and needed somewhere more comfortable to sleep. We were going to have the kids help us but they aren't anywhere downstairs."
Carley struggled to take the last steps down from Lisa's room, Sharon's concern for the children momentarily distracted her from her friend's illness, she left Carley behind to get closer to Christa.
"I haven't seen them since Ben took my bag, did you check outside?"
"We checked the backyard but there's still too many walkers in the front to open the door-"
Ben yelped, falling to the ground as he tried to catch Carley, her full weight heavier than he could carry as she collapsed on top of him.
"Are you sure this is safe?"
Clem squinted at the boy behind her, finger to her lips to keep him quiet. "Not really, but if we're fast and quiet they won't notice us."
Duck looked around him, the street they stood on didn't have any walkers like the one outside the mansion, he thought about how easy it was to slip through the bars of the fence and avoid them entirely. If they could do that, what stops the walkers?
"Are you sure?"
Clem tried not to focus on the dead body they passed, hoping that meant they were going the right direction. "Walkers are dumb and we're not."
Duck opened his mouth to say something, pausing as he thought about what Sharon had said to him earlier. She sounded so sincere but he still had trouble believing her. When they stayed at the inn his mom started teaching him things, when she said he is smart he knew she was right, she was the one involved in it.
The road they stood on looked the same as the one they were just on, turning around he realized he had no idea where the mansion is. They could be back at Macon again and he'd have no idea.
"I don't even know where we're going, maybe I'm as dumb as a walker."
Clem looked up at him first rolling her eyes dramatically, her frown deepened at seeing his frown, he didn't even turn to look at her when she looked at him.
"Duck I mean it." She said, speaking a little bit louder when he didn't respond. "Walkers are really dumb and we're both smarter than them.
Duck still didn't react to what she said, the two walking in silence for a whole ten seconds before Duck changed the subject. "I once saw one fall down a bunch of stairs."
"Really?"
"Yeah, he fell on his face a bunch of times."
Clem pursed her lips. "When?"
"Uh, this morning."
"I didn't see it."
"You weren't looking."
"Yeah I was."
"Not where I was looking."
"Did the walker see us?"
"I don't know."
Clem hummed, deciding to focus on where they are rather than talk with Duck. Thinking back to the roads they've been taking she figured she could find her way back easily, since Duck won't be any help.
She remembered Kenny and Lee pointing this direction a lot, so they have to be going the right way, and the sign on the light pole sign that said, "Bull Ramp to River Street" helped a lot, though she has no idea what a 'Bull Ramp' is.
Clem wrung her hands at the building lined hill, the street was lumpy from the large rocks that Duck jumped on as they walked down it, the cement in between the rocks didn't make it easier to walk on. She tried not to feel so nervous, just down the street is the water, and there's no walkers.
Once they reached the bottom Duck peered over the railing, watching the water. On their left are more buildings and on the right is more walking.
"If we can't find them here we'll go back." She sighed.
Duck seemed to ignore her, opting to balance himself on the metal rails in the middle of the street. She rolled her eyes.
"Lee and your dad are going to be around here so we need to pay attention."
Duck nodded and crouched down with a mean look in his eyes, he looked ready to attack something.
"What are you doing?"
He dropped the mean look. "This is what people do when they sneak around, I've seen it in movies."
Clem wanted to say more but shook her head instead, walking normally while Duck attempted an action roll forward.
"Duck, can you take this seriously?"
"Sorry." As Duck stood his eyes went wide.
Clem followed his eyes, her jaw dropping at the sight of a red hooded figure tackling Lee to the ground.