It all started with a chair.

I had just slipped the last scrap of clothing I had on and climbed into Bellamy Blake's lap. He made a soft sighing sound as it happened. That was that. But I'm standing here almost two months later staring at what I can only describe as:
"The most beautiful discarded living set ever."
BARK BARK BARK
"Jesus Banana! Shut your friggin gob!"

***

It's a cold autumn day as I walk to the liquor store down the way, drinking a gallon of Sunny D as I go, admiring how everyone is just staring at me like I'm strange. The wind was blowing slightly as I entered the store. My bladder felt like it was going to burst, the Sunny D was not a good idea at all.
"Well, well. If it isn't Griffin the crime dog. Back for another test?" The cashier asked. I headed straight for the pregnancy tests...yippe. I grabbed one and headed for the cashier
"I think the first one was defective. I mean the plus sign looked more like a division symbol so I remain unconvinced." I reached for the key to the restroom. He slid it back.
"Third test today mama bear. Your eggo is preggo. No doubt about it." He said holding the key up.
"It's real easy to tell" said a random girl with curly hair. "Is your nipples real brown?" I rolled my eyes and scoffed.
"Maybe your little boyfriends got mutant sperms and knocked you up twice."
"SILENCIO old man! Look I just drank my weight in Sunny D and I gotta go pronto." I snapped holding my hand out. He handed me the key finally.
"Well you know where the lavatory is..." I snatched it out of his hands. "And pay for that pee stick when you're done! It's not yours just because you mark it with your urine!"
I saluted him with the key and walked over.
Yeah yeah whatever. I better get this over with because I already know the outcome, I just can't believe it. I get into the restroom and sit, unboxing the stupid test, and finally going. When I was finished I looked at the blank little space that would determine my existence continuing or ending. Nothing. So I get up, wash my hands and head out.
"What's the prognosis fertile myrtle?" Cashier asks. I continue to stare at it.
"Nothing yet, it's not seasoned enough." I look up at him then back down. "Oh look that that. Stupid little pink plus sign. It's so unholy." I start to shake the test frustrated.
"This ain't no etch-a-sketch. This is a doodle that can't be undid Homeskillet." There's a pack of licorice rope so I grab that.
"I'll take these too." Maybe I can hang myself with them. I pay and head home, carrying my test in my jacket pocket and tying the red licorice into a noose. It's dark when I get home, perfect, I throw one end over the tree and put the noose on my neck. No...I can't do this. So I bite into it and chew as I enter my house. There's really only one person I can call about this. So I run upstairs to my room, grab my hamburger shaped phone and dial.
"Yo yo yiggity yo." Raven says. Totally aloof, totally blissful because she's not facing her family killing her.
"I'm at suicide risk." I say.
"Clarke?"
"No it's Thelonius Jaha, have any chips you need swallowing?"
"Only the one in my pants" she laughs.
"I'm pregnant."
You could hear Raven sit up and choke on her words.
"What? Honest to blog?" She asks like I'm insane.
"Yeah, yeah." I sigh. "It's Blake's."
"It's probably just a food baby or something. Did you have a big lunch?" She says concerned.
"No! It's not a damn food baby. I've taken like 3 pregnancy tests. I'm for shiz up the spout." I almost yell into the phone. This was not the reaction I was seeking.
"Holy crap. How do you even generate enough pee for 3 tests, that's amazing..." She trails.
"I drank like 10 tons of Sunny D. Now I'm telling you I'm pregnant and you're acting surprisingly cavalier about it." I snap. I feel like crying.
"Is this for real?" She whispers. "Like for REAL for real?"
"Um. Yeah."
"Oh my god! Holy shit! Phuket, Thailand!" She screams.
"Yup that's the reaction I was looking for on the first take."
"Oh my god...so what're you gonna do Clarke, are you gonna keep it or..."
"No." I interrupt her. "I can't keep this."
"Are you going to go to the hospital because you're gonna need a parent, or Women Now! ?"
"I'm gonna go to Women Now! because they help women now..." I say. I sigh and fall back onto my bed. Covering my face with one arm I sigh once more. "Hey before I schedule that appointment, can you help me with something?"
We're at Mr. Pike's house at 8pm. It's freaking dark out but I need this discarded living set like I need to get rid of my little 'problem'. So me and Raven are loading it into her car. Chair, rug, lamp, and table.
"So this thing is Bellamy Blake's?" She asked, helping me shove the magnificent brown leather reclining chair into the trunk.
"Yeah...Blake is surprisingly good in chair." I said struggling to push it in. We succeed!
"So was it premeditated?"
"The sex? Yes. Pregnancy? No." I laugh.
"You're so in love with each other." Raven said, shutting the trunk closed. We stared at each other and she smiled slowly at my hot, most likely red, most likely smiling face. We get in the car and drive to the destination and set the furniture tastefully on the grass. Shushing one another as we keep on giggling.
In the car she finally asks me, "So how was it?" She giggles, poking my side. I throw my head back and let out a loud, held in breath.
"AMAZING."

I went home later to endure dinner with my mom and stepdad Markus. My dad died when I was 6 so I didn't really get to know him, but we visit him every year on the anniversary and leave flowers on his grave. It's really morbid and sad but we all miss and love him, a year after my mom started to date his best friend and they got married. So much for mourning but my parents seem to be super happy so that's good. The thing about Markus though is he owns a couple businesses in our area and one just happens to be a nail salon, I laugh at him every time he comes home from his weekly checkups there because he always smells like acetone and has his nails buffed by the ladies that work there. He claims nail buffing is so in but I don't believe a word of it. My mom is a doctor so she's usually super busy and I have this overwhelming surge of feeling abandoned but whenever she's home it's pretty sweet, especially if my little sister Glass is hanging out with us. Yeah her name is Glass, I'm almost 100% sure my mom was on crack when she named her but no one's teased her about her name.
"So Clarke, what'd you do today?" Markus asked me. Even though we're not blood he and I get along super great.
"What besides move an entire living room into someone's lawn, or downing an extra large blue slushie in under 3 minutes, nothing." I said smirking. I poked at my dinner which was kind of gross. Nasty looking meatloaf with broccoli and a baked potato slathered in butter. My stomach was roiling.
"Clarke did you throw up in the urn?" Mom asked.
"What?"
"The urn smelled funny and had a weird blue liquid in it. Did you throw up in it?" She said. I shook my head no.
"I would never throw up in the urn mom." I said, recalling the very second I did puke up that delicious slushie. Such a waste if you ask me but oh so worth it.
My sister added way more bacon on her baked potato than anyone at the table had. I stared at it and laughed that it was pretty much bacon with a little potato.
"Glass, if you put one more baco on that potato I'm gonna kick your little monkey butt." Mom said. Glass smiled in response and dumped the last handful on it.

***

The next day I got up extra early and biked to Bellamy's house. I knew he was getting ready to go running with the rest of the track team in his red and gold uniform with his lame morning hot pocket. I sat down on the chair Raven and I had moved there last night and put an old fashioned pipe in my mouth, it wasn't pot or filled with anything, just for show, but I sat anxiously waiting for him to come out in his tiny gold shorts. It wasn't long before he did. He came jogging out the door, small gold shorts, red T shirt, high socks and white shoes with red accents, and these tiny sweat bands he always had on his wrists for some reason I've never understood.
"Oh, hey Clarke." He said nervously, his big brown eyes darted all around him, finally settling on me and my living set. "I like your tiger, it's really um...enticing." I pulled the pipe out of my mouth.
"Thanks I stole it from Pikes lawn." I smiled at him.
"That's cool." He shifted.
"Your shorts are especially gold today." I noted. His tan legs stuck out from them, the color making him darker than he really was.
"Yeah my mom uses color safe bleach." He smiled. Ugh he was adorable.
"Go Aurora." I said. How do you tell someone you slept with one time that he got you pregnant?
"I should be running." He said, gazing at the team that had just passed, their shoes smacking on the pavement. The sound of physical exercise alone made me nauseous especially because it's like, their junk is all bouncing around and as much as I seriously try to not think about it, all I see are pork swords. Track should not even exist it's disgusting.
"So guess what..." I started.
"What?" He looked around.
"I'm pregnant." I mumble.
His face fell. It looked confused, happy, and angry at the same time.
"So um...what...what should we," he started nervously.
"I'm just gonna nip it in the bud and make an appointment at Women Now! you know before the situation gets worse. I'm just letting you know. Especially since in health class, pregnancy typically leads to an infant."
"Oh..yeah I guess. I mean typically that's what happens when our mothers and teachers get pregnant."
"But yeah I'll see you at school." I got up and headed towards my bike looking at him one last time before pedaling away. God that was embarrassing.

***

So school is boring enough, but going to school with life shattering news is worse. Everything honestly is going wrong today, like I was just grabbing my chemistry book out of my locker, and it falls apart.
"Looks like your book fell apart Griffin." John Murphy called, laughing. I leaned down to gather the papers and cover.
"Yeah looks like it."
"Must've seen your face." He laughed. He and his group of douchebags started laughing but I know something the rest of them don't. John Murphy wants me. He wants a weird, nerdy girl. Like one that dresses in all black, wears geek glasses and has stringy hair, her moms jeans, Birkenstock sandals, and a Hawaiian shirt but will one day end up like a school librarian or something. Oh yeah he's so freaky. I catch him look back and wink at me. Yup it's a jock thing, secretly wanting the nerds, but you'd think they'd want a cheerleader type like Raven. Secretly SHE likes teacher types.
"Oh my god! I love Devon Bostick too!" She gushed to Mr. Collins, placing her hands over her heart and smiling. So gross. The bell rings and I head over to my science class. It's kind of weird because Bellamy is in the class with me but, I'll try to make it less awkward...if that's even possible.
"Ok class we're doing a workshop so get into lab groups and set up." Our teacher says. I groan and grab my things, I headed over to a table and Bellamy pops up next to me.
"Hey so...this will be fun I guess. I did the lab questions last night so you guys can copy or something." He says pulling the papers out of his binder. Two more students show up.
"Aw Blake, I could never copy your work." I say.
"But...you copy it every week."
"Yeah you're right...I kind of suck as a lab partner." I mumble, looking down at my shoes.
"No I feel we all bring something to the table. Even you." He looks at me and smiles, his freckles are like little angel kisses all over his face.
"Yeah...charisma maybe?" I grin. We stare at each others for a few seconds before our partners interrupt our moment.
"Okayyy well I've got a menstrual migraine so I can't look at bright lights today." The girl, Mel, says crossing her arms. The guy next to her was sullen.
"I told you Mel, go to the infirmary and lay down" Sterling said.
"I told you Sterling, I don't take orders from you, or any other man." She snaps, turning to face him.
"You know, you've been acting this way since I got back from visiting my cousin in Harrisonburg...I already told you nothing happened!" Well this is awkward, I glance at Bellamy as if to ask him what should we do.
"I'm just gonna set up this apparatus thing right here...Clarke do you want to plug in the Bunsen Burner?" He said cautiously. I nod.
"My pleasure!" And I do it. But it doesn't help distract the couple.
"I'm going to the nurse." Mel says finally.
"Good, call me when you're off the rag!" Sterling yells.
"Fine! Call me when you know how to love a girl and not cheat on her! Especially when you visit your cousin and have a bottle of Smirnoff Ice and Snow Peak Peach flavored Boones!" Mel cries and stomps off.
"I will Mel! I'll be sure to take note of that!" He yells after her. We all glance at each other uncertain of what had just happened.
"I've heard that um...Snow Peak Peach flavored Boones is the best flavor. Isn't that right Blake?" I turn and look at Bellamy who looks like he swallowed a hot coal. He nods in agreement though, and so does Sterling.

***

So after such an eventful day I kept the mojo running and called Women Now! when I got home.
"Hi my name is Clarke Griffin...yeah I'm calling to procure a hasty abortion..." The lady on the other side went in and out like static. "One second sorry." I shook my phone a couple times. "Sorry I'm on my hamburger phone, but yes, a hasty abortion. I don't want to discuss my options." She asked about my age. "I'm 17...yeah...how far along am I? Well I think the sex happened around 2 months and four days ago but that's just a total guess. Ok so tomorrow at 4?" She confirmed. "Great thank you." Finally that was out of the way and I could breathe without this crushing weight on my chest. I mean it's one little thing about having unprotected sex...I don't care that Bellamy and I slept together, I just wish we weren't such dumbasses and used protection like the smart little teens we were. But no, I wasn't thinking that he'd actually get me pregnant for our first time. I mean...I don't like this situation, it's not ideal, but the fact it's Bellamy's kid makes me kind of happy. Oh god that sounds so wrong. Either way I had to handle it and this is the only way I can think of that won't get me into any trouble and my parents won't find out...yet.

***
I had called Raven and had arranged for her to come get me at 5 after the procedure was done. What was I doing? Could I honestly say I could go through this? Yes. Yes. Yes. I can't have this getting out of hand, I was already pressing my luck on time.
"All babies want to get borned! All babies want to get borned!" Cried a girl from my school; I vaguely remembered her name, Fox. She held a sign that showed a sonogram photo of a baby with the words "All life is precious" in big red font above and under it.
"Hey Foxy how's it going? Did you start that paper for Greens class yet?" I asked casually, I knew she wouldn't spill this to anyone. The girl was a small, cute, idiot.
"Oh..hi Clarke. No I haven't, I haven't been able to focus." She replied softly, looking down.
"Well hey I can sell you some of my Adderall if you wanted." Fox shook her head.
"No thanks, I'm off pills."
"That's probably for the best you know I heard this one girl took way too many and then like, tore off her clothes and jumped into that giant fountain in the mall and screamed 'GRRRR I'M A BLOODY KRIKEN FROM THE SEAAA' " I acted it out for more emphasis, waving my arms around just like I remembered it.
"I heard that was you." She replied. Damn it, not my best moment.
"Well it was good seeing you Foxy." I snapped then walked past her. I didn't stop until she called out to me.
"Your baby has a heartbeat you know! It can feel. And it has fingernails!" What?
"Fingernails really?" I scoffed to myself then proceeded to walk into the building. It was gross, like a doctor's office. The waiting room was this ugly brown and there were already a slew of older women, some with children, some without, filling out paperwork on the dirty old couches. You'd think for a clinic it'd be nicer to entice people right? Rolling my eyes i walked over to the receptionist desk where a girl with a purple streak in her hair was playing away on her DS.
"Welcome to Women Now! where we help women of all ages, please surrender any firearms and or explosives including your will to live." She deadpanned.

"Woah hey, I'm just here for the show...and some medical experience." I said raising my hands in surrender. The girl in front of me was in her teens obviously but she had a million piercings and super dark eyeliner and lipstick on. One of those rebel or goth types I suppose.

"What's your name?"

"Clarke Griffin."

She probably thinks I'm lying about that. My name is pretty weird for a girl at least. Who names their little girl Clarke? Especially since my last name is Griffin, that IS pretty uncommon especially around these parts of my state. Anyways she hands me a clipboard with a paper demanding all of my information on it.

"Do you want a free condom? They're boysenberry flavored. They make my boyfriend taste like pie afterwards." She laughed. Was this chick high or something?

"Uh no...I'm off sex for right now." I said waving my hand around for more emphasis. She rolled her eyes and went back to playing her video game, I salute her and head to an over stuffed, well worn out couch and sit. I clicked the pen open, and close and open again while I read over what they needed from me. But something weird happened, all I could think about was that stupid comment Fox said about the fingernails and suddenly I heard every single nail in the room. The lady across from me was picking hers, and from there another lady was tapping them against her clipboard, and finally another filed them. But it gets worse see there are kids in here too and they're biting their nails and tapping them and I just couldn't take it anymore. I sprinted out of that building and didn't look back, but I did hear Fox call out that God appreciates my precious miracle. Yeah will this 'precious miracle' was about to get my damn head cut off.

Raven was leaving her house for the day when I ran up to her. The face she gave me was priceless, total confusion and shock, but there was some concern in it.

"What's up? I thought I was picking you up at 4?" She asked from up on her porch.

"I couldn't do it. It smelled like a dentist's office, there was a psycho behind the desk talking about her boyfriend's pie balls from these stupid condoms that look like freaking grape lollipops, and oh my gosh! Fox was outside! And she was like 'oh hi your baby has fingernails' FINGERNAILS!" I said holding up my hands, palms facing me so Raven could understand what I was feeling. She didn't.

"Oh that's so messed up what if it claws you on its way out?" She joked.

"Raven I'm serious." I whispered putting my head down. Tears pricked my eyes, threatening to come out, I shoved them down as best as I could before I glanced back up at my best friend. Her face was twisted with amusement and concern for me.

"Well then, let's grab a newspaper and hit those dumb pennysaver ads." She suggested. Oh lord those ads were so lame half the time, especially the ones near the exotic bird section which I knew Raven would hit up before even bothering to help me find some good adoptive parents for my Bellarke baby. I sighed and nodded, her face looked determined.

"Well then, let's grab a slushie and go to the park and find those desperately seeking spawn people!" She cheered. And with that being said, we piled into her car and did just that. I found us sitting in the park slurping down another Big Blue (sans the puking) while reading about lonesome families. But of all times for her to take things seriously is the day I wish I didn't.

"What about this one: Wholesome family of three waiting for a miracle, help us get the chance to expand our loving family." She reads.

"I want a parakeet." I mumble. A thwack rang through the air as Raven hit me with her newspaper.

"Hey!" I cry out. She rolls her eyes at me.

"Clarke you have to pick one of these!"

"But I hate when people describe themselves as wholesome, who are you trying to fool? There's no good guys on this planet!" I reply, exasperated.

"Ok what about this family of five asking for help in continuing the circle of love." She read in a funny voice. Good god a circle of love? I'm never going to find a family for this kid.

"That sounds like a cult. You know why can't there be an interior designer or something with a super cool girlfriend who rocks out on bass guitar and always smells like...I don't know the Michael Kors store?" I gain another eye roll from Raven. We continue flipping through the pages until I find them. The perfect family. Lexa and Costia Groundling, two perfect moms looking for their perfect child for their perfect world. They were exactly what I was looking for.

I had told my parents to gather in the living room for my big announcement. Sort of prayed to whatever God would listen to me, an irresponsible teenager who got pregnant on her first time, for mercy. I knew it was a long shot but I had to. Raven sat off to the side picking at her nails while I paced back and forth on the gross, brown shag carpet we had. Why did we even have this? It's disgusting, like walking in mud.

"What's up Clarke?" Kane asked me.

"Yes is there something you need?" My mom continued, their faces contorted with concern as I let a giant sigh.

"What do you need? Did someone die?" They asked me.

"Dude I think you should just tell them." Raven said from her little nook. I threw my head back.

"No nothing that serious. And I swear I'm not asking for much except maybe mercy. It'd be sweet if no one killed me." My mom and Kane scooted closer in their seats, my mom put her book down and stared at me expectantly.

"I'm pregnant." I say. Their faces went stony.

"Oh god." Mom whispered.

"But I swear I've taken care of it. I found this great couple that wants to take it and they're going to pay for all medical expenses. And when it's over some uh, 30 odd weeks later we can forget it happened right?" I say super fast.

"You're pregnant?" Kane asks, completely shell shocked.

"Yes...but if it's any consolation I have heartburn that's radiating to my kneecaps and I haven't been able to hold down my food since Wednesday. Morning!"

"I didn't even know you were sexually active." My mom mumbled.

"I um…"

"Who's the kid?" Kane asks. I put my hands on my belly and moved them around a bit.

"The baby? I don't really know much about it except it's got fingernails apparently." I say hoping to drive the conversation elsewhere.

"Fingernails? Really?" He asks. I nod as my mom cuts in.

"No Clarke! The father. Who's the father?" She asks.

"Oh um it's...Bellamy Blake." I say wanting to avoid that topic.

"Blake? Really?" My mom says.

"What?"

"Didn't know he had it in him." She mumbles. With that I sigh and sit down next to Raven, she puts an arm around me and squeezes tight.

"I know right?" Raven says. I shove her off of me. Tears threaten my eyes again as I look at my mom.

"I just thought you were the kind of girl who knew when to say when." She says. Her disappointment radiates.

"I don't really know what kind of girl I am." I mumble. God the last thing I wanted to do was disappoint my mom. I had sacrificed so much for her to be proud of me in the wake of my dad dying I even gave up art and music so I could do the doctor thing like she does. Her eyes looked everywhere around the room but at me, Kane looked right at me with determination for some reason. It was nice.

"I just, I'm not ready to be a mother yet." I said simply, like that would do any good.

"Damn skippy you're not. You have no mothering instinct in your body yet I mean for goodness sake you forget to give Glass her breathing meds!" My mom yelled.

"Ok that was one time and she did not die as you recall." I snapped.

"I don't mean to sound rude or anything, but have you considered the...well the other option?" Kane asked. Clearly he was implying my failed trip to Women Now!

"No." I said sarcastically. He grinned and winked at me.

"Our little trooper, huh Abby?" She wasn't paying any attention, instead her mind always at work making a list of things to do I could tell by her eyes drifting in and out of focus.

"Ok." My mom started. "We need to get you prenatal vitamins and schedule a doctor's appointment, we also need to get you healthy so no more junk food for you. And Clarke?"

"Yeah…"

"I'm going with you to meet that family. I don't want you getting screwed over by some child starved wingbats." She said. It wasn't a question so I nodded eagerly to make her happy. It was kind of soothing knowing she wasn't going to kick me out.

"Yeah that's great. I'll um...I'll just go upstairs then." I said grabbing Raven's hand and dragging her up the stairs halfway. We stopped to listen to what they'd say next. My mom let out a giant breath.

"When she told us to come here I swear I thought it was going to be anything but this." She started.

"I was worried she got expelled." Kane replied.

"I thought she was into hard drugs. God Bellamy Blake how did this happen? Is this my fault?"

"I think kids get bored and have intercourse. Look Abby, Clarke is going to be fine, she's handling this very well for her age."

"I'm not ready to be a grandma…" her voice wavered.

"Abby listen to me, you're not going to be a grandma. Some loving family is going to receive a precious blessing from Jesus in the garbage dump of a situation. But also, I'm gonna punch that Blake kid in the wiener next time I see him." Kane mumbled. My mom let out a small laugh that made me feel good.

"Oh Marcus, you know it wasn't his idea...I don't think." I let out a breath of relief. Maybe things would get better after all.

So that Saturday my mom ripped me out of bed and forced me into the car to go meet the lucky couple adopting my life lesson. My mom's hands gripped the steering wheel as we headed over to their home, it was almost an hour away but the drive was silent. It made me feel kind of terrible.

"You know I looked up their lawyer after we called them, she's legit." I said. Like that would lighten the mood! I was seventeen and pregnant, what once was a promising future looked so bleak now, what if the adoption falls through and I'm stuck with the kid? I had barely convinced my parents to not tell Bellamy's mother he was going to be a dad. She looked over at me and gave me a tight smile.

"Mom I'm really sorry." I mumbled.

"I know you are honey it's just...it's hard to process. But I'm glad you're taking responsibility for this." She said.

"I just don't want you disappointed in me. I should've known better, I mean you're a doctor and I knew the risks but…"

"Clarke. What's done is done. You can't change the outcome now, let's just get to the families house and get the process started." She said. I knew then to keep my mouth shut for the last half of the ride. We started to go into the neighborhood which was mansion central, so this kid was going to be well off. The miracle home came into view and we parked on the street, I adjusted my shirt and pulled up my jeans a bit once I got out.

"I'm not disappointed in you." My mom said. She came over to me and hugged me, I melted into it immediately, holding tight. We pulled away after a minute, mom held me at arm's length and pushed some hair behind my ear.

"Let's meet these people." She whispered. The door was huge and the bell was loud. A woman in her early thirties with dark skin and curly black hair answered the door. Her smile was warm and inviting but also very practiced, she also had on a purple dress jacket on with dark blue skinny jeans on.

"Hi! You must be Clarke Griffin." She smiled brightly.

"Hey." I replied shyly.

"Hello, I'm Abigail Griffin, thank you for having me and my irresponsible daughter over." My mom said with a grin. Such a joker that one.

"I'm Costia Groundling, come in you two! Can I take your coats?" She asked. I'll be honest I was pretty shocked Costia was a girl, I thought it'd be some foreign dude with a mustache and a mop of thick brown hair but, this was cool too. Costia didn't wait for an answer and helped us both shrug our coats off, as she hung them up another woman came down the stairs smiling. Her long brown hair was in a loose braid and she was dressed more comfortably than Costia was, in a pair of black leggings and a blue loose fitting long sleeved shirt.

"This is my wife Lexa." Costia beamed. Lexa nodded and looked at us.

"Oh hey! Wicked picture in the pennysaver ad! I mean it was so much classier than the people in front of the fake woods. Who are they trying to kid?" I said. Costia looked confused.

"You found us in the pennysaver?" She asked. Lexa looked scared, but quickly changed her attitude when the lawyer came in.

"Hi, I'm Callie Shumway, shall we get started?" She asked. We all nodded and headed into their enormous living room, all white of course. My mom and I sat down on one couch and Lexa sat on the other.

"Can I get you anything to drink? I have pellegrino, iced tea, vitaminwater…" Costia trailed.

"I'll have some moonshine if you've got it, throw some strawberries in too please." I joked. Costia was taken aback while Lexa bit her tongue trying to not laugh.

"Humor. It's one of the many genetic gifts my child has to offer." My mom said through fitted teeth. She elbowed me in the ribs as Costia sat down and gave us an uncomfortable smile. The lawyer shifted and gathered some papers in her hand then looked at me.

"So how far along are you?" She asked.

"I'm a junior." I joked. I guess they didn't realize it because they asked me how far my pregnancy had come along again, I rolled my eyes and told them.

"I'm twelve weeks along, doctor said yesterday.." Costia shifted closer to Lexa and flashed me a big smile.

"That's great, you're entering your second trimester."

"Um, yeah I guess I am. I'm due on May fourth." I said.

"That's great! I've heard from my girlfriends, that the first couple of months are the hardest." I shook my head.

"No not for me, I hardly noticed. I am a little concerned when they have to put the stretchy, elastic in my jeans so they fit." I replied. Costia laughed and Lexa smiled politely.

"I think pregnancy is beautiful."

"You're lucky it's not you." I said sternly. Wrong thing to say obviously because they were adopting this kid, they had been trying for years obviously but no luck. Costia's face fell, and twisted into jealousy as she stared at my stomach, I shifted in my spot.

"So how are we going to do this...thing?" Lexa piped up from her spot. She twisted her long braid and adjusted herself away from Costia, resting her arm the the back of the couch.

"Don't I just have the thing and give it to you?" I asked. My mom and I were both pretty confused, that seemed to be the game plan at first.

"Well, Costia and Lexa were willing to negotiate and open adoption. Send you photos and updates of how the child is doing as she or he grows up, maybe even a few visits now and then." My head started to ache.

"No, no, I don't need any photos or updates. Can't we just do this old school where I put it in a basket and send it your way? Like Moses and the Reeds?"

"Technically that's kicking it Old Testament." Lexa winked at me.

"Yes! Like in the good old days, when it was quick and dirty." I laughed.

"Ok so a traditional closed adoption is what's best for both parties." The lawyer said.

"Whew! Let's wrap this all up."

"Obviously we'd compensate you for your medical expenses." Lexa said.

"Are you looking for any other kinds of compensation?" Costia cut her off. My mom and I glanced at each other and I could tell we were thinking the same thing.

"Excuse me?" Mom asked. The look Costia gave us was unsettling, as if that's what she expected me to ask for. More money. God it felt so wrong and disgusting to even think about. I mean who does that?

"I don't want to sell it to you!" I cried. They both looked relieved.

"Look I just want...I just want the baby to be given to two people who are going to love it and take good care of it. I don't want anything more or less. I mean, I'm in highschool...I'm ill equipped." I told them. Costia gave me a huge grin, clearly pleased that I had sort of complimented her.

"She's always wanted to be a mom." Lexa said, Costia nodded in agreement.

"It's true, I want to be a mommy so badly." She said proudly.

"You don't say?" My mom asked.

"Have you ever felt you were just born to do something?" She looked at my mom.

"Yes, neurosurgery." My mom replied.

"There you go. I was born to be a mother, some of us just are." I looked at the two of them, they seemed so happy together.

"What about you Lexa? Are you excited?" I asked her.

"What?" She asked confused.

"Are you excited to...you know also be a mother?" I asked again. Weird.

"Oh sure, who doesn't want to drive carpool and...help with science fair stuff where the volcano erupts and gets everywhere...yeah. Excited." She mumbled. Lawyer woman cleared her throat and shifted her papers around.

"Let's go over some other preliminary documents now, so we can get on with the day." She grinned. I smiled back and suddenly felt weird to my stomach like I was going to vomit.

"Um, can I use the restroom, being pregnant has made me have to go like every five minutes." I asked uncomfortably.
"OH of course, the bathroom down here is being retiled but if you go upstairs to the right and then…" I jumped off the couch and ran up.

"Room with a toilet, I got it." I called. Halfway up the feeling in my stomach went away, but I continued to go up still. The walls were beige and decorated with cheesy portraits of Costia and Lexa in all white smiling and hugging one another, all photographed in some stupid mall photo center no doubt. They came off as a perfect, well together, couple but something was off still maybe it was just because I was meeting them for the first time. Once I reached the top of the stairs I located the master bedroom and bathroom, they were enormous. A big fluffy comforter dressed their giant king sized bed, the carpet was squishy under my boots. I rounded the corner and entered into a huge bathroom, the mirror was floor to ceiling and the tile was red and reminded me of the rocks in Arizona. The lines swirled gracefully, red, white, and brown all in neat little squares. I looked at myself in the mirror, blonde wavy hair pinned half back, my grey thermal looked a little dirty, my red flannel was really bright under the fluorescent lights. I smoothed my hair down a bit, looking down I noticed the various beauty products on the counter. Bottles and containers full of creams and lotions rested there, I grabbed one and opened it. It smelled like citrus, it was so nice I took a little and applied it to my face. I giggled to myself because I had put it into stripes like a baseball player, or Bellamy when he used to play football. There was a bottle of perfume next to the cream that just begged to be opened, so I did and sniffed it., Clinique. I stole a quick spray and decided my joke to myself wasn't that great. Curiosity tended to get me into trouble. But I took note of the cream I had taken a bit of, it was freaking delicious. With all of that done, I headed out the door and bumped into Lexa.

"Woah." I said. She gave me an awkward smile.

"Just came to grab something." She replied.

"You weren't sent up here to spy on me did you?" I joked.

"Nope, do we come off as paranoid yuppies or something?" She laughed

"Well if I'm being honest, I stole a spray of your wife's perfume. It's Clinique happy." I said, holding my wrist up.

"Really?"

"Get a whiff of those sparkling top notes." Lexa took a whiff and grinned.

"Should that make me happy then?" She asked.

"Well of course it is I'm giving you two the gift of life! And you don't even have to be there, blood and guts. Yuck. I am a little jealous of you."
"Well we should get going downstairs." She said, so we started to walk to the stairs when out of the corner of my eye I noticed something peculiar.

"Is that a Les Paul?" I asked seriously. The guitar was simple enough to be breathtaking.

"That it is, Costia gave me a room for a lot of my stuff." Lexa explained. That sounded way too weird for even me.

"A...a whole room in your entire house for your stuff? She's got you on a long leash there huh Lexa?" I joked. I wanted to look at it closer so I walked to the room and approached the olive green beauty that rested so neatly in it's stand. I touched it and felt shivers down my spine almost like when I got a new packaged of paint brushes or new acrylics. It was so much prettier than the guitar Bellamy had gotten me a few years ago.

"You know I've always loved Gibson more than Fender." I explained.

"Really now? What do you play?" Lexa asked, she sat down at a keyboard. A bunch of computers nested near it.

"I play a harmony, oh my God is this mahogany? What happens if you crack the neck I mean…"

"Yeah it is, it's a bitch to repair. I used to play in this band when I lived in Chicago and I busted it one night. It cost eight hundred dollars just to get it fixed." She said. She leaned back in her seat and watched me inspect it. I tried to do the math in my head of how long ago that was for her.

"How long ago was that? When you were in the band.

"'93, best time for rock music of any kind."

"Um no I'm sorry, even I know it's '77 that was the best time for rock music. Punk Volume One!" I exclaimed. Bellamy and I had always admired that time period. The feelings behind the music, we would sometimes lay in his room and just blast The Rolling Stones, The Sex Pistols, The Cure, even Fleetwood Mac all day while we hung out, one day he taught me how to play guitar and that solidified our bond.

"No way, you're crazy." Lexa said shaking her head.

"You weren't there so how could you possibly understand that magic?"

"You weren't even born yet!" She smiled warmly at me, I returned it and butterflies filled my stomach.

"Want to play it?" She asked. I nodded eagerly and started strumming Doll Parts, Lexa stood up and grabbed another guitar and started strumming along with me. It wasn't long before I started singing the song.

"Yeah they really want you, they really want you, they really do." Lexa joined in, but not long after that Costia showed up in the doorway. The music stopped.

"Hi." She said.

"Hey."

"You guys are playing music?" She asked, looking back and forth at us. She began to wring her hands.

"Oh yeah, Clarke here wanted a closer look at Anya." Lexa said.

"Oh cool, you named it Anya? My guitar's name is Roosevelt. Not after Ted but Franklin. You know the hot one who had polio." I laughed. Lexa joined in with me but stopped once she saw Costia's face.

"Yeah, Callie is still downstairs, we still have so much to talk about and do." Lexa stood up and removed the guitar strap from herself, I stood and did the same. She helped me get it over my head and then set them both back in their respective stands.

"Sorry to interrupt the jam session." Costia said nervously. I smiled at her, unbothered because I should have known better. I was here to negotiate and adoption not make a new jamming buddy. We headed downstairs where I was met with my mothers frown, I blushed furiously and sat next to her.

"Doll Parts really? Courtney Love is not that great missy." She whispered to me. I giggled into my hand. She'd always hated Miss Love, claimed she had someone kill poor Kurt. I hadn't believed her when she announced that conspiracy but now I sort of do.

"Ok, let's go over some of this paper work." Callie announced. I sat down and kept my mouth shut for the rest of the talk.

Callie handed my mom some papers and pointed out where we would both sign.

"Just look these over, and if you have any questions please call my office. I'd be happy to help you." She smiled. It was the nicest she had looked since we entered the house. Costia had risen from her spot to grab our coats while Lexa had stayed towards the stairs.

"Thank you so much for what you're doing for us, I can't even begin to tell you how much it means." She said, she helped me put my coat on.

"If you could just keep us updated with any doctor's appointments, or ultrasounds, or anything of that nature, that'd be amazing." She said breathlessly. She was so excited it was adorable.

"No yeah, of course I will. You want to know how your kids developing."

"Are you sure about doing this?" She asked me sadly. The question shocked me. I had signed over the life of this kid to her and she thought I wasn't serious.

"Yes."

"How sure? Are you eighty percent sure or ninety percent?"

"I'm about a hundred and ten percent sure about this. Honestly if I could have the thing now and give it to you I would in a heartbeat."

"Really?" She let out a giant breath.

"Yes! If I could I would but I'm sure it looks like a sea monkey right now, and we have to wait until it's just a tad cuter." I said. I smiled at her to reassure her.

"Keep the bun in the oven." Lexa joked.

"That's a great idea." My mom said. After that we all said our goodbyes, Costia gave me another hug, Lexa just nodded her head at us as she said it was nice to meet us. They both said thank you again as the door mom gave me a side squeeze as we headed towards the car. I looked back at the house and saw the two hugging from the windows next to the door. I knew this was the right family.