A/N — I'm supposed to be listening to a zoom about the "goals" of eleven's baseball team this spring but instead I'm proofing this chapter. I feel like the kid in class reading a book under my desk ... and that analogy just aged me far more than I'm willing to admit, lol. xoxo — kals

x

Ch. 40 — Push and Pull

x

"Sasha!" Kara called. "Over here."

Kara watched as Sasha wove her way through the crowd, setting Jake's infant seat down on the empty table reserved specifically for that use. She surveyed the food offerings before selecting one of the individual chip and guacamole bowls that Peter created specifically for the event. Although the trampoline park offered food, Kara had quickly determined that all of the offerings were all pizza by another name.

Just then, Stella bounced by, Wolf chasing behind her as they crossed the mats, her laughter spilling across the space. "Look, Mommy! I'm being chased by a wolf!"

"Fe fi fo fum!" Wolf yelled, before bouncing off.

Alisha's forehead wrinkled. "I'm pretty sure that's not the right story."

"It's not," Kara replied, shrugging. "But Stella doesn't seem to care. Although I am surprised that Jake can sleep through this noise."

"It's a baby thing," Sasha replied. When both Kara and Alisha looked at her, Sasha shrugged. "That's what Tom says. Since Jake is the only baby that I've spent any time around, I have no idea if this is typical. He'll wake up when he's hungry."

Kara winced as Wolf caught Stella, tossing her into the ball pit. Alisha shook her head. "I seem to recall telling you that this was a bad idea."

"Next time I'll listen," Kara muttered.

Sasha chuckled. "I was surprised when Danny told us that the party was at a trampoline park. How did he talk you into this anyway?"

Alisha snorted. "Pure naivety. Kara had no idea what she was getting into."

Sasha lifted an eyebrow at Kara. "Didn't you go to this type of party as a kid?"

"Trampoline parks weren't exactly the thing in cowtown, Kansas," Kara replied dryly, before conceding. "But apparently this is what Danny and Zach did for their birthdays one year. Danny has ... fond memories."

Alisha blinked. "Zack? As in Danny's brother?"

xxx

"I'm telling you, man," Danny was saying as Kara entered the wardroom, "Die Hard is the best Christmas movie."

Pretending that she wasn't listening to Danny and Carlton, Kara poured herself a cup of coffee and then moved to the galley window to get some food.

"Nope, Home Alone all the way," Carlton replied. "Die Hard has a couple of decorations but there's nothing Christmasy about the entire film. Home Alone is all about trying to travel during the holidays."

Having heard Carlton's argument before, Kara wasn't surprised when Danny scoffed. "Traveling? It's a kid's wet dream about ditching his parents and outsmarting all the adults around him."

"Nice, Green," Carlton murmured as she settled into the seat next to him. "Attend those sexual harassment trainings much?"

Kara noted the slight line of color that hit Danny's cheek line with interest, wondering how much time he spent around women in the field typically. Not that she was going to care about something as minor as a comment like wet dream, as Carlton well knew. But that was the kind of comment that would have Slattery taking notice, if only because the man hated both sensitivity training and paperwork with a passion.

Setting her food down, Kara shook her head at the two men. "You're both wrong. The best Christmas movie is the original Grinch from the '60s."

"Here we go," Carlton murmured, releasing a long sigh. "Next she's going to start in on how Gremlins is a Christmas movie too."

Danny paused with his fork halfway to his mouth, studying Kara. "My brother always claims that Gremlins is a Christmas movie."

Carlton scoffed. "Sorry, I draw the line at combining Christmas and horror. Both of them are crazy."

Kara lifted her coffee. "Or perhaps we prefer our movies to have some plot that doesn't involve an eight-year-old kicking someone in the balls." She took a sip, eyes never leaving Danny's face. "Die Hard? Really? Could you be more generic?"

Carlton howled. "She's got you there."

Pointedly checking her watch, Kara looked at Carlton. "Aren't you supposed to be on watch?"

Frowning, Carlton checked his watch before tossing back the remainder of his coffee and standing. "See if you can talk some sense into her, Green. Of all the movies, she picks Gremlins."

Danny waited until Carlton was gone to push his plate away, leaning back in his chair, mug in hands. "I think we need to test this theory once we're back on US soil. What do you say to a movie marathon? Die Hard, Gremlins, Home Alone and the Grinch. I'll even let you and Zack gang up on me if you're willing to trek all the way to Connecticut."

Kara hesitated, covering by taking a drink of her coffee, trying to figure out what Danny's invitation meant. Sure, they had crossed a few lines, but nothing had been said about what would happen after the Nathan James arrived back at Norfolk. Was this his way of suggesting a weekend away? Or was this a meet-the-parents?

Danny raised an eyebrow, apparently unfooled by her trick with the coffee. Kara bit her lip, watching his eyes flicker down to her mouth and then back up, before she smiled. She might not know what Danny was planning, but that didn't mean she couldn't use the time to get what she wanted.

And that happened to be Danny Green, naked and all hers.

"You're on."

xxx

From the way Sasha crunched her chip, Kara strongly suspected that the woman knew exactly who Zach was but, for Alisha's benefit, she responded to the question. "Yes, his brother."

Fortunately, Delilah chose that moment to bounce by, Danny chasing after her. "Mama!" Delilah squealed. "Look at me!"

As Kara watched, he caught the child, lifting her up into the air before dropping onto the trampoline, letting Delilah land atop him. Both of them laughing.

Alisha looked at Sasha. "Want to bet on which one of them ends up in the ER?"

Sasha shook her head. "Green will be there either way." At Alisha's frown, she elaborated. "Either he gets hurt himself and goes, or one of the girls gets hurt and he has to tell Kara, at which point he ends up there anyway."

"Touche," Alisha replied, laughing, as Kara pretended to ignore them.

"Auntie Lisha!" Stella appeared out of nowhere, catching Alisha's hand. "Come climb with me. I promise not to push."

Amused, Kara bit back a chuckle as Stella dragged Alisha off to the play structure with only minimal protests. As they disappeared, she glanced at Sasha. "I'm surprised that you're still here. I expected you to disappear the moment that Val showed up."

"I'm biding my time," Sasha replied, apparently unabashed by the fact that everyone knew she was still attempting to recruit — or steal, depending on who you asked — Val for the newly formed intelligence agency that Sasha was in charge of establishing. Sasha's eyes flickered to Kara. "Any chance you want a new job?"

Kara almost spit out her drink. She lifted an eyebrow. "I work for your husband."

"You work for Mike," Sasha corrected.

"Who works for your husband," Kara countered.

"All's fair in love and war," Sasha replied without missing a beat. "Tom demands the best. Since you work for him, you're the best, which means that I want you to work for me instead. Tom might not like it, but he understands the game."

"Where is Tom?" Kara asked, deciding that she didn't need to know anything about the inner workings of the Chandler-Cooper marriage. "I had no idea how popular trampolines were with men. Even Mike showed up without protest."

Something passed over Sasha's face, but it disappeared so quickly that Kara half thought she imagined it. "Ashley's in town. They went out to lunch."

Kara was about to mention that Ashley was welcome to join them — Kat seemed to be having almost as much fun as the kids — but something stopped her. Kara wasn't particularly close with Ashley Chandler, the girl having fallen on Danny's side of the line in large part due to him working with Sasha, but she had been around enough teenagers to understand that being twenty and having lost your mother was a rough combination. Realizing that she had waited a beat too long to respond, Kara lowered her voice. "Is everything okay?"

"Yes," Sasha said quickly. She ate another chip, her eyes moving to Danny before she added. "Tom is not always the most ... intuitive father. It causes problems at times."

The admission startled Kara, more personal than Kara would have expected.

An olive branch.

No, that wasn't quite right.

An invitation.

Apparently Sasha had been serious when she talked about the two of them starting over, even becoming friends. There was no other reason for the woman to open up, sharing something so personal.

And Kara had no idea how to respond.

Not having grown up with a father, Kara often found herself at a loss when friends talked about their relationships with their fathers — good or bad. Still, if Tom had taken Ashley out to lunch rather than come by with Sasha, that probably meant Ashely was upset, but upset in a way that Sasha couldn't help. Kara took a stab in the dark. "Something with Darien?"

"Yes," Sasha confirmed. She lifted a hand to tuck in Jake's blanket. "Give me a missile crisis in South America and I can handle it without breaking a sweat. But when it comes to Sam and Ashley, there are some lines that I can't cross. I'm not the person they want."

That Kara understood. She sighed. "One of Stella's classmates told her that I'm not her real parents."

"Woah." Sasha seemed genuinely surprised, suggesting that Danny hadn't already told her the story. "What did you do?"

xxxxx

"Emmy said that you aren't my real mom," Stella announced. Fork halfway to her mouth, Kara froze, her eyes meeting Danny's across the kitchen table. But he seemed just as shocked as Kara, the response to an innocent question about who to invite to the girls' birthday going far off track.

Kara set her fork down without taking a bit of the meatloaf. The question wasn't a complete surprise — well, it was, but it shouldn't have been. Elena had warned them. Kara just hadn't expected it to come up so soon. Anticipating those conversations would be something in the teenage years. "I guess that depends on what Emmy means by real. What do you think, Stella?"

"Mommy looks pretty real to me," Danny added, and Kara busied herself straightening her plate and silverware, rather than kicking him under the table.

"I think..." Stella stopped, tears pooling in her eyes as she twisted the napkin on her lap. "Sometimes I miss my other mommy." She shot a look at Danny. "I don't remember having another daddy. But I do remember Mommy. Can you have more than one mommy?"

Heart aching at the anguish in Stella's eyes, Kara pushed back her chair. She glanced at Delilah, who just seemed confused, then at Danny. "Maybe you and Del could eat in the living room?"

Danny hesitated for just a moment, before lifting both plates. "Hey, bug, let's watch Spiderman while Mommy and Stella-bella talk."

With their audience gone, Kara reached a hand out to Stella. "Do you want a quick snuggle?"

Stella hesitated, then moved onto Kara's lap, burying her head in Kara's shoulder. Kara stroked Stella's hair gently. "It's okay to miss your mom, Stella. She loved you very, very much. Miss Elena has told me all about how hard she worked to make sure you and Delilah would be okay after she died."

For a moment there was no response. Then Stella spoke again, voice little more than a mumble. "Emmy said that after the baby is born that you won't want Delilah and me to live here anymore. Because he's your real baby and we're not."

Suddenly feeling more prepared — this, after all, was more of what she was expecting — Kara gave Stella a squeeze. "Now why in the world would Emmy think that? What would I do here in this house with just a baby and Daddy? Have you seen how bad Daddy is at changing diapers? I definitely need you to tell us how to do this. You're the only one who has had a baby before. Daddy and I are totally clueless."

There was a giggle and then Stella's head lifted. "Daddy is really bad at diapers. And hair. And baths. I think it took him like three hours to clean the bathroom the other day."

Three hours was a bit of an exaggeration, but not much. Kara nodded solemnly. "Exactly. What would we do without you, Stella? Plus, I would miss you so much if you decided to leave." She smoothed Stella's hair back from her face. "I love you, Stella. And I love Delilah. Having a baby doesn't mean that I will love you less. Love is like that. The more people you love, the more love you have to give."

It was only as the words escaped that Kara realized she was saying something that she remembered Debbie saying when she was a little girl. Ignoring the lump in her throat, Kara stood.

"What do you think we take our dinner in the other room and watch the rest of Spider Man with Daddy and Del?"

Stella's eyes lit up, the tears disappearing. "Can we watch the one about Ghost Spider?"

"I don't see why not." Kara lifted the plates. "And Stella, Daddy and I chose you. We're both so thankful that you chose us back."

xxxx

Recalling Sasha's question about how they handled the conversation with Stella, Kara answered. "Danny made a joke, of course."

Sasha rolled her eyes. "You're the one who agreed to marry him."

Kara chuckled. "Stella needed some reassurance that the new baby isn't a replacement. And that it was okay to miss her biological mother." She glanced at Sasha. "Any suggestions on that one?"

Sasha considered the question, before admitting. "Ashley and Sam were old enough by the time that Tom and I started dating again that I've never tried to fill that motherly role. I'm their friend and Tom is their parent. It works better that way."

"And behind the scenes?" Kara prompted.

"Behind the scenes," Sasha replied, smirking, "Tom is lucky to have a very, very smart wife."

xxxxx

Danny groaned from his position sprawled across the couch. One thing that Kara would say about having a birthday party at the trampoline park — the girls were exhausted. So exhausted, in fact, that there wasn't any arguing when Kara said it was bedtime and announced that the remainder of the mountain of presents the girls received would have to be opened in the morning. Actually, Kara realized, there was a second benefit.

She didn't have to clean.

She settled into the chair next to the couch. "You okay over there?"

"I think I might be dying," Danny responded. "Everything hurts."

Kara chuckled. "Probably from that nerf war. Did I see Mike tackle you?"

"Yes," Danny admitted, before adding. "But I got him back the next round."

A round, Kara didn't point out, that involved only the fathers, as the children grew bored and found other things to do. She vaguely wondered whether Mike was just as sore right now. Kara rubbed a hand over her stomach, wondering whether this was the right time to raise the idea that she had been mulling over. Before she could decide, Danny apparently picked up on her distraction.

Turning his head, he frowned at her. "What are you thinking about?"

"We haven't talked about names," Kara blurted, before clarifying. "For the baby."

Danny laughed. "I didn't think we were talking about renaming the girls." Despite his complaints of a moment ago, Danny sat so he could look at her. "Did you have an idea? We can wait. There's plenty of time."

Unspoken was the fact that, outside of general discussions, they hadn't talked about what would happen after the baby arrived at all. No conversations about baby names or talk about how to decorate the nursery or even what their lives would look like after the baby arrived except when they were talking to the girls. For the past six months, Kara had refused to look beyond the next day, the next week — never past June.

In case June came and went without a baby.

Refusing to make plans for a future that they both knew too well could disappear in an instant.

"I'm twenty-seven weeks now," Kara said, keeping her breathing even through sheer willpower. "Rachel said that was the goal. Back at the beginning."

"Yes," Danny replied, but said nothing more. Both of them considering the numbers.

Twenty-seven weeks down.

The minimum for survival in this post-pandemic world.

With thirteen more to go.

"I was wondering if you wanted to name him Zack, after your brother," Kara said after a moment. "It might be..."

But Danny was already shaking his head. "No. If we name him after Zack, I'm going to be thinking about my brother every time I say his name. Imagining that he's Zack. I want this little guy to have his own identity."

"Do you have any ideas?" Kara asked, before rushing to add. "Other than poop baby. Because I refuse to put that on the birth certificate."

A halfhearted smile flitted across Danny's face, his gaze on his hands, the nod to Delilah's suggested name not enough to distract him from his thoughts. "I always thought that Joshua would be a good name. If you like it."

Kara blinked, half embarrassed that she never considered Danny's middle name. "That was your father's name, wasn't it?"

"Yes." Danny picked at his fingernail, and Kara's heart ached for all the things he didn't say — perhaps even couldn't say. The loss of his family still too painful to put into words.

She reached forward and took his hand. "I love that. How about Joshua Daniel?"

Danny finally looked up, eyes glistening with unshed tears, and Kara felt her throat closing up. Danny squeezed her hand. "Joshua Daniel Green. I like that a lot."