"You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you don't trust enough."
Frank Crane

5. Hospital
(Bella's POV)

Usually a Friday afternoon is some sort of relief to me because it means I get two days of freedom before I have to face the treacherous paths of high school again. Today was different, however, because I had the joyous occasion of a hospital appointment with my new doctor; Carlisle Cullen. The anguish that thought in itself caused made me consider turning around and going straight home.

I'd been sitting outside Forks Community Hospital for I don't know how long, waiting until it was socially acceptable to go inside. Being twenty minutes early was pushing it a little bit so I figured I'd hang around until I only had ten minutes left to loiter in the waiting room. Part of me was also trying to think of reasons not to have to go out into the downpour. It's rare that we ever find a particularly nice day in Forks, but today was definitely one of the rougher ones.

There was no predicting how this appointment was going to go, I knew that. It wasn't that I couldn't guess what I was going to be asked, it was more that I didn't know how I was going to react. These days, there was no telling what was going to set me off. Sometimes it felt as though all I did was cry. Other times, I'm trying to hold myself together before I have a complete mental breakdown in the school hallway. The incident with Riley Biers was a prime example of that. I think the only thing that could have humiliated me further was if I had let myself cry in front of them all. I was proud I'd remained strong enough not to.

I sighed, knowing I had to leave the safety of my truck.

I grabbed my appointment letter from the dashboard, shoved it in my coat pocket, and darted out into the rain. I didn't even bother locking the truck, someone would have to be mentally unstable to want to steal it. I kept my head down because if I looked up I would most likely drown. I took the stairs leading up to the building two by two, praying that I wouldn't trip. I nearly ran straight into a couple of people who were jogging in the other direction but none of us stopped to apologise.

I skidded to an ungraceful stop outside the entrance because the automatic doors didn't open automatically like they were supposed to. Only in Forks. I shook my head, grumbling under my breath as I trudged back down the stairs. I headed over to the wheelchair access ramp, knowing it led to another door. This one spins around in a circle by day and by night so I knew I would get in that way.

I sighed in relief when I was under the shelter of the hospital roof. On a side note, the weather outside reflected my mood quite nicely. I'd have to try to not be icy with this new doctor; it wasn't his fault that my life was a mess. It also wasn't his fault that he was Edward Cullen's dad. Yes, I had to admit that as much as I tried I couldn't ignore the irony of the situation. It didn't really contribute to how the appointment made me feel, I knew everything discussed would stay between myself and Doctor Cullen.

"Excuse me, I have an appointment with—"

The unfamiliar receptionist didn't look up from her computer, she simply held up her index finger to silence me. I'd never encountered anything so rude, but I clamped my mouth shut anyway. I was trying not to let my face morph into a scowl like it was determined to do.

"Bella?"

Oh God, no. Please don't let that be who I think it is.

I reluctantly turned to the sound of his voice, finding Edward standing there looking better than should be legal for someone who had also trekked through the downpour outside. He honestly looked like he'd just been shooting a commercial for Dior. I probably looked like a drowned rat in comparison.

"Hi," I said slowly, attempting to sound calm, but my voice cracked—effectively sign-posting my anxiety.

"Are you alright?" he asked, seeming mildly concerned by my appearance.

Definitely not. "Um, yes."

"You don't sound sure," he said, smiling a lop-sided smile that was so attractive I nearly imploded.

"I'm sure," I mumbled, clearing my throat.

"That's good then," he replied, even though he didn't look as if he believed me. I didn't even believe me so what chance did I have of convincing him?

I smiled awkwardly, not knowing how to reply to that.

"Oh, Edward, I thought I heard your voice," the receptionist said enthusiastically, filling the short silence. She looked up to give him a warm smile and I'm sure my mouth dropped open in shock.

"Hi Lesley," he said, offering her a polite smile.

"How can I help you?"

"I was hoping you could tell me where my dad is. I don't want to bother him if he's with a patient. I'm in no rush, you can see to Bella first," he said chivalrously, gesturing to me.

"Oh," Lesley said, turning swiftly to me. I almost grinned in triumph. "He's a gentleman, isn't he?"

I nodded meekly, primarily because I'd been put on the spot. I wasn't exactly going to say no, was I? Besides, it was seemingly true.

"Only to those who deserve it," he said, throwing me a wink.

I nearly started hyperventilating. Did he really just do that? I mean, he probably meant for it to be subtle and casual, but bloody hell it made my insides go all weird. I'd never felt so hormonal around a boy before. Mind you, that's probably because guys don't actually talk to me. Unless they're a deranged psychopath or a total bully. Lucky me, right?

"Thanks," I said, so quietly that I wasn't sure if he heard me.

His smile widened so I was left to assume he had.

"Well, Bella, was it? How can I help you?"

I felt my face go bright red when I realised I was going to have to say that I have an appointment with Doctor Cullen whilst one of his sons is standing right next to me. I swear this would only happen to me. Destiny has this sick way of making things difficult.

I hesitantly pulled out my letter, handing it over the counter to her.

"I have an appointment with Doctor Cullen at half three," I said nervously, keeping my eyes well and truly away from Edward. I didn't want to see his reaction to that.

"Would you look at that?" Lesley said, laughing at the coincidence. "I think I can kill two birds with one stone here. He's in his office just now. I'm sure Edward can show you the way seen as you're both here to see him."

"Of course," Edward said, before I could even process what Lesley the bitch had just said.

"All sorted then," she chirped, handing me back my letter.

I nodded and then wondered if she could tell I was glaring at her. She kept smiling so I guessed she was none the wiser. I couldn't help but ask myself where the hell they'd found this woman. She clearly didn't know anything about customer service. I could probably do a better job than her and I'm a train-wreck.

I looked away, accidentally making direct eye contact with Edward—who was looking at me expectantly.

Oh, yeah, I was supposed to be going with him.~

We moved forward simultaneously and I had a feeling I was the only one who was finding this whole thing uncomfortable. It didn't even seem to faze him, walking beside me in silence. I didn't attempt to make any conversation either because he looked as though he was preoccupied with his own thoughts.

The most stressful thirty seconds by far was standing in the elevator with him. There was nothing worse than awkward silence when there's only two people in the vicinity. He took us up to the second floor and along another couple of hallways before we reached an oak door with Doctor carved into it. The only thing I could think the entire time was how the hell am I going to find my way out of here? I'd never left the ground floor for any of my previous appointments.

He didn't even knock on the door, he just waltzed straight in, which nearly gave me a heart attack. I followed anyway because... conformity.

The room was bright and warm, a common tactic used in the hospital to try to make patients feel at ease. Surprisingly, there was something about the office that made it homely and this relaxed me as soon as I entered.

"Sorry, dad, I'm a little later than I thought I was going to be," Edward said, pulling a sheet of paper out from under his coat and placing it on Doctor Cullen's desk. "You can blame Emmett for that."

"I'll be sure to do that," he promised, running a hand through his blonde hair. He noticed me standing there, trying to blend in with the wall behind me, and smiled welcomingly. "Who is this?"

"This is Bella," Edward said, exchanging a knowing look with his dad. "Lesley asked me to bring her up since I was headed this way."

He nodded in understanding. "Thanks, son."

"No problem," he replied, taking that as a signal to leave. He turned to me by the door and shamelessly added, "It was nice to see you again."

Those words were what did it, I was finally reduced to a state that meant I physically could not respond to him. Nothing would come out of my mouth.

Thankfully, he left the room before I had to consider migration.

"Take a seat, if you would like," Doctor Cullen said, pointing to a comfy-looking chair across from him.

"Do you mind if I stay standing?" I asked shyly, my cheeks heating up again. "I get antsy if I sit down too long."

"Whatever you prefer," he assured me, smiling in amusement.

I pursed my lips. "So, um, I don't really want to talk... about... well, anything."

"That's okay."

"It is?"

"Yes," he said, shrugging as he sat down on the edge of his desk. "I'm not going to force you to tell me anything you don't want to."

"Thank you," I whispered, surprised by his lack of pushiness.

He laughed softly. "You can come here weekly, if that's alright, and we can talk about anything you feel like you want to talk about. Does that sound okay to you?"

"Yeah."

"You can call me Carlisle for starters," he said, grinning. "And now I need some important information from you."

"Which is?" I asked him suspiciously.

"There's a stash of ice cream in the staff kitchen and I really need to know what your favourite is so I can steal some."