"The cadence of suffering has begun."
Cesare Pavese
6. Thoughts
(Edward's POV)
Oh, you can't here me cry.
See my dreams all die
from where you're standing
on your own.
It's so quiet here and I feel so cold.
This house no longer feels like home.
When you told me you'd leave
I felt like I couldn't breath
My aching body
fell to the floor...
"You have shit music taste," Emmett said, throwing open my bedroom door without any warning whatsoever. "I'm convinced you're a reincarnation of some sort of 17th century dude."
I rolled my eyes. "I'd rather listen to a song with meaning than some of the rubbish the rest of the world listens to."
He turned the dial on my CD player, lowering the volume so much that he might as well have just put it off completely. I sighed. It was impossible to find any peace in this house. If Emmett wasn't here annoying me it would be Jasper, and if he wasn't here annoying me it would be Alice. I love them all, of course I do, but it's unbelievably frustrating.
"What's up with you? In all of guys night history, none of us have ever skipped out."
"I just don't feel like it," I mumbled, scrolling through Facebook absentmindedly. I wasn't really paying attention to anything on the screen.
He raised his eyebrows, eyeing me carefully. "Okay, man, I know you better than anyone. What's going on in there?" he asked, poking my temple.
"If I tell you, you can't tell anyone."
"I can keep a secret."
"Uh, no, you can't," I said, a disbelieving laugh escaping my lips.
"I can. It's just that sometimes I choose not to." He grinned, sitting down on the end of my bed. He looked at me expectantly and I sighed, unsure of how exactly to explain why I was feeling so down all of a sudden.
"Seriously, Emmett, you cannot say a word of this to anyone—not even Rosalie."
"Bros before ho—" He clamped his mouth shut. "I shouldn't finish that sentence."
"Definitely not," I said, unable to hold in a short laugh. "Okay..."
"Before you say anything, I just want to make sure you didn't get someone pregnant because I'm really the worst person you could tell that to."
"Are you fucking kidding me?" I snapped, throwing my head back.
"Oh yeah, I forgot, you literally don't do girls." He winked, laughing at his own joke. "I'm listening now, I promise. Judging by your face this is obviously serious."
"It's about Bella Swan," I said, putting my phone down on the bedside table. "She was at the hospital."
"Wait, what?"
"We were both at reception and I let her go before me so I sort of accidentally overheard why she was there..."
"We were right, weren't we?" he guessed, face-palming. "She is one of dad's patients."
"Spot on," I said. "Lesley asked me to take her to dad's office because we were both there to see him. You know how dad asked me to get a file for him?" He nodded. "Well, I have a funny feeling I was carrying Bella's medical history in my hand."
"Oh shit," he whispered, blowing out a puff of air. "Did she say much?"
"Not really," I admitted, wondering what her strange behaviour was all about. "There's a catch: her file has one sheet of paper—that's it. It's almost as if they couldn't get any info out of her. Either that or they just couldn't figure her out."
"I bet you any amount of money dad will be able to help her more than anyone else ever has," he said, and it almost sounded as if he was trying to reassure me even though neither of us really knew why.
"This whole thing just bothers me," I said, sitting up abruptly. "I mean, we see this girl who is clearly struggling with whatever the hell has happened to her and everyone in this stupid town is just oblivious. Jesus, I never even noticed her properly until I saw her with Riley. I don't understand why we're all so stupid."
"No one cares unless it's happening to them." He groaned, flopping back onto my bed. He half landed on my leg and I had to refrain from grumbling in pain.
"The only person I've ever seen make an effort to talk to the girl is Alice, and even then it's not very often. I feel kind of sorry for her."
"You're one of the only ones," I said, more aggressively than I meant to. "Besides, your girlfriend is becoming part of the problem."
"What?"
"Isn't she friends with the devil's advocate?"
He laughed. "Ugh, I'm pretty sure Tanya is trying to brainwash her into joining her and Riley's cult; little bastards. I hate the two of them." He sat up again, indicating that he definitely had ants in his pants today. "Listen, Edward, you know as well as I do what Rose is like. Popularity is important to her but she's not an idiot. She knows the limit."
"I hope that's true."
He ignored me. "I'm still trying to understand how guys night turned into a therapy session but I do have an idea."
"What's your idea?"
"Why don't we try to make friends with Bella? Maybe we could make an effort to sit with her at lunch, or talk to her between classes this week. Maybe Alice can invite her over next weekend to do some girly shit or something."
"That's actually not a terrible idea," I admitted, genuinely impressed. "Subtlety is key, though."
"I can be subtle."
I doubted that very much.
(Bella's POV)
The downpour had lessened to a pleasant drizzle by the time I pulled up the driveway in my decrepit truck. I do enjoy the rain when it isn't drowning me. The fresh smell of nature it brings always calms me.
I grabbed my backpack and ungracefully slid out of the truck, landing with a mighty splash. We really do need to do something about this driveway; it becomes a pond when it's a stormy day because of the dip in the middle.
My shoes squeaked all the way to the front door. I spied my aunt's car parked out on the street so I knew she was home, which meant I didn't expect the door to be locked. My hand slipped right off of the handle. With a huff, I fished my keys out of my backpack to open the door.
"Auntie Sue?" I called hesitantly, noting that the house looked and sounded deserted.
She didn't answer and I became hyper-alert immediately. She must be home if her car is outside; she'd have to be mad to walk anywhere in this weather.
I checked the living room first in case she'd fallen asleep on the sofa but she wasn't there. The kitchen was empty so I trudged upstairs to check her room. My anxiety spiked when I reached the door; part of me was too scared to open it. Being surrounded by death your whole life does things to your head. I couldn't help but worry that something had happened to her.
I took a deep breath, knocked three times, and then bravely threw the door open.
She wasn't there.
I sighed in relief, glancing into my room as well. I didn't actually think she'd be in there but I thought I'd make sure. The bathroom door was wide open so I had no luck there either.
I pursed my lips, slipping my cell phone out of my pocket to check for missed calls or texts. The screen was just the same as always; blank. I had her on speed dial so I held in number one on the keypad and waited patiently for her to answer.
"Bella, where are you?" she asked me, sounding utterly frantic. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine! I just got back from the hospital. Why is your car outside, auntie Sue?"
"I've had a nightmare of a day. I'll explain everything to you when you get to the station."
"What?" I asked, eyes widening in alarm.
"I need you to come down to the police station. Don't talk to anyone, don't stop anywhere, just come straight here."
"You're scaring me," I said, so quietly that it was almost a whisper.
"Don't be afraid," she replied, voice calm and even.
"Okay." I slammed the front door shut, focusing only on my trusty truck. "I'm on my way."
(Third Person POV)
He was lying on the damp forest floor, curled into a tight ball. It was the only time in all this mess that he'd ever looked vulnerable, almost child-like. His long, blonde hair was pulled back, revealing a worn face as pale as white. The leather jacket he wore didn't offer him much protection from the cold night ahead. He was unaware of the danger he was in as the wind whipped his wet clothes. He could die out here, yet he didn't seem to care. He had only one thing on his mind.
"Give it time," he whispered to no one.
He hadn't been detected for a long time, though he feared his recent actions might have brought him under the radar again. It was his own fault, he knew that. It was just too tempting to toy with her. He survives on the knowledge that she is terrified. This is what spurs him on.
He released a ferocious cry, tortured by his memories and future plans.
He wouldn't stay under the trees, just until his acquaintance returns to him. It was too risky for him to stay in the same place too long. Besides, he has things to do, people to kill, and places to see.
"Death is easy," he hissed, whimpering quietly. "Death is easy."
You caused my heart to bleed
and you still owe me a reason
'Cause I can't figure out why
why I'm alone and freezing...
A/N The song used in this chapter is 'So Cold' by Ben Cocks. Some parts of this piece just remind me so much of how Bella is feeling in this story, even though the song itself has an entirely different meaning.