lets try this again. this may be a little better.
06:15 hundred hours
Twentynine palms, california
Pvt black
Coming out of the mess hall, I headed back to my barracks to get ready for drills when alarms started going off. Not wasting any time, I ran the rest of the way. When I went through the door, the room was in chaos as marines pulled on their equipment. Making my way to my bunk, I pulled open my locker and pulled out my plate carrier. Quickly shoving my head and arms through, I hastily fastened the straps. Grabbing my black bandanna, I pulled it on, covering the top of my head, placing my helmet on after. Grabbing my shades, I ran out and towards the armory.
Running into the armory, I started grabbing magazines for my m4 and m14. Stuffing them into my various mag pouches and pockets, I grabbed some grenades and stowed them as well. Grabbing a few m1911 mags, I ran over to a locker with my name and serial number. Opening it, I pulled out my colt 45, holstering it. Slinging my m14 over my shoulder, I grabbed my m4 and ran out.
Running across the base toward the helicopters, I stopped when some humvees pulled up randomly. Other marines started running up to them and helping the wounded. I let my AR fall to my chest and ran to the closest humvee. Opening the front passenger door, I grab the marine in the seat, positioning my shoulder underneath his arms and gently pulling him out. A medic ran up to me and took him off me.
"MARINES! IF YOU AREN'T HIT, GET YOUR ASSES IN THE HUMVEES!" A burly sargeant bellowed from the front vehicle. Ignoring the blood, I climbed into the front seat.
"Hey." the corporal in the driver's seat got my attention. "Set your radio to frequency 85-3-alpha."
"Thanks" I responded. changing my radio's frequency, the radio buzzed to life.
"Dragon, this is sparta 4-8. We are oscar mike to white fang attack in LA." oh god. The fang were on american soil? How? When? Why?
"Copy your last 4-8. Goodluck. Dragon out."
"Hey sarge, we have a scout sniper riding with us." I pinched the bridge of my nose and let out a sigh.
"Really? Where are they, corporal?"
"He's next to me sarge."
"That's good. We could use him.
09:30 hundred hours
Los angeles, california
Pvt black
The convoy had finally reached the outskirts of the city. Going through the streets, I scanned the buildings on my side, looking out for hostiles. Looking forward to the junction in front of us, I noticed several figures running through the buildings, and they were armed.
"Guns Up!" I yell as I bring my rifle to bear, "contacts toward ou..."
KABOOM!
I really want to get this fic right. Did I accomplish that?