*Tissue warning*
(Sorry, not sorry )
*Also TW for cancer treatment*

I'm by no means a medical expert but I've tried to keep this story line of Maddie having cancer as accurate as possible. If I am wrong on anything, I apologize. I've done a ton of research before even deciding completely to include this story line to make sure that it is as believable as possible. Cancer is horrible, there is no denying it. I've seen extended family members suffer through it and wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

That's all I want to say.

Things will get better, it's just gonna take a few chapters.

Enjoy

Hours passed as the family waited anxiously to receive news of how Maddie's surgery had gone. There wasn't much else they could do but wait, Captain James having told Cordell to take as much time off as he needed and both Stella and August had asked to take the day off school to be there to see her when Maddie's surgery was over. Geri too had cleared her day so that she could be there with the Walkers, hoping to help them in some small way by being there with them.

They were all worried, each and every one of them.

They shared some stories to pass the time and Geri went down to the cafeteria to bring back lunch for everyone though none of them had much of an appetite. The afternoon came and went, dragging into evening and still there hadn't been any word. Cordell was the most worried out of them and it had taken the combined effort of all of them to try and keep him calm.

Silence had fallen again, Geri looking over at Cordell with concern. It had been hours since Maddie had been taken into surgery and they should have heard some word by now... Her ponderings were interrupted however by her phone vibrating and when she pulled it out to check it, she saw it was from Colton.

Any news of how Maddie is doing? He had asked.

We're still waiting. She texted back. As soon as we hear anything, I'll let you know.

She waited for a moment but he didn't reply and so she returned her phone to her pocket. Cordell was sitting between his two children while Bonham sat with Abeline, his arm around his wife. Liam was on the phone having had to take a call from someone and she was sitting by herself for a moment. What could she do? There wasn't anything that any of them could do except just wait.

Her phone vibrated once more a little while after Liam had taken a seat with her again and she got it out to check who the message was from. It was Gale, asking how Maddie was doing. Again she had nothing to report to her except that they hadn't heard anything yet and then her mother wanted to know how she was doing. She replied back that she was okay and left it at that, her phone being put away once more. It was still weird to think of Gale as her mother but she pushed those thoughts away, choosing instead to keep her focus on the present problems.

'Have you guys heard anything yet?' Mika questioned as she joined them in the waiting room, having come straight from work once her day had finished.

'No...Not-not yet.' Cordell replied to her question. 'We-we're still waiting.'

She nodded in understanding and took a seat in the empty place next to Geri. 'Surely she'd be out of surgery by now.'

'I'm sure we'll hear something soon.' Liam said to her, trying to be as optimistic as possible. 'It can't be much longer now.'

They waited, more time slipping by.

Captain James and Cassie arrived too, bringing with them pizza for everyone to share. Though Cordell initially refused to eat, saying he wasn't hungry, Geri quietly insisted that he have a couple slices. He begrudgingly did, knowing what Geri said about Maddie not wanting him to go hungry on her account was true. He was just so worried about her. Why hadn't they heard something by now?

A hush came over the room as finally the doctor came in, the family rising from their seats. 'How-how is she doc?' Cordell asked, worry thick in his tone.

'Maddie has stabilized for now-' Doctor Williams replied, motioning for the family to sit down again. He too took a seat, holding a chart on his lap. 'The surgery was a success.'

There was a united sigh of relief around the room but Liam could tell there was something that the doctor wasn't telling them. 'There's more though, isn't there?'

The neurosurgeon nodded. 'While the surgery was a success, complications arose during her observation in recovery.'

'What-what does that mean?' Cordell questioned. 'What happened?'

'Maddie began to present with signs of brain swelling as she came around.' He began to explain. 'Further scans confirmed it and while it is normal for there to be some swelling after surgery of her kind, what she is presenting with is much more than is considered safe.'

'And that means what, doctor?' Bonham spoke up, his arm still around Abeline.

'We have placed Maddie into an induced coma for the time being to allow for the swelling to go down.' Doctor Williams informed them. 'We have moved her into ICU for now and will continue to monitor her condition closely.' He looked at each of the people gathered together in the room. 'You have my word that Maddie will receive the best care possible.'

Silence followed as what the doctor had said sank in. 'How long will it take for the swelling to go down?' Abeline wanted to know. 'How long until she wakes up?'

'We don't know.' He replied honestly. 'In the best case scenario the swelling should begin to go down within a couple days but I can't give you a definite answer. We just don't know. We are doing our best though, we've got her on the best medication we've got and she's under constant observation. I must fly back to Dallas tomorrow but she is in good hands with Dr. Patterson and we will continue to work closely together.' He paused for a moment. 'I know this isn't the news that any of you wanted to hear but be assured we are doing our best. The good news is that the surgery was a success. We were able to remove the entire tumor and at the same time inserted medicated wafers into the tumor area that will release chemotherapy over time in an effort to kill off any remaining cancer cells. We will be able to better know how things are going in a couple days.'

'Can we go see her?' Mika questioned with a soft sniffle, Geri's hand coming to rest on her shoulder.

Doctor Williams nodded. 'I would encourage you to talk to her too, let her know that you are all here for her and that she's going to pull through. There's still so much we don't know about how the brain works during a comatose state but there's evidence to support that patients in a coma can still hear and understand what is going on around them. Other than that-' He stood. 'there's not much else we can do except just wait and see how things go. I will have a nurse come show you to her room.'

Liam was the first one to stand, everyone else still in shock at what they had been told to say anything yet. 'Thank you, for everything.' He said as he shook the doctor's hand. 'We appreciate everything you are doing for Maddie.'

He nodded again. 'I hope in a couple days we will have better news to tell you.'

Maddie felt so strange... Almost like she was floating in an ocean of peace or something. Where was she? She didn't know, just that she felt so utterly calm and at peace. Such peace she had never felt before...

'Maddie... Maddie...'

Someone was calling to her. A voice she remembered well. Why could she hear it though? Where was she?

'It's time to wake up, squidget.'

Her eyes fluttered open to a brilliant, blinding white light. Everywhere was white, absolutely white. Where was she? She sat up, looking around in surprise and wonder. There was nothing around her, just a void of this shining white light.

Through the light, a figure emerged that came slowly towards her.

'Maddie, Maddie honey...' Macey said in a sing-song, angelic voice. 'I've been waiting for you.'

'M-mom?' She questioned in surprise as she slowly rose to her feet. 'Mom, is it really you?'

The figure nodded.

'Mom!' Maddie shouted in recognition, running towards her as fast as she could, holding out her arms for her. 'Oh mom. Mom, I've missed you so much!'

'Oh angel...' Macey took her daughter in her arms, holding her tight as she smoothed back the teens hair, pressing kisses to her forehead. 'I've missed you too baby. I've missed you too.'

After a moment, Maddie looked up at her, her arms still wrapped around her mom.

'Where-where are we?' She questioned, taking another look around her. 'Is-is this heaven?'

'It's not quite heaven, sweetheart.' She replied, tucking the girl's hair back behind her ear. 'Let's just say that we're in between.'

'In between?' She frowned. 'In between where? What's going on Mom?' Macey let her go without reply and took a couple steps away from her. 'Mom, wait! Where are you going?' Don't leave me-'

Macey turned around, holding a hand out towards her daughter. 'Come. I have something to show you.'

Maddie looked at the hand that was offered to her and stepped forward to take hold of her. 'Where are we going?'

'You'll see.' Was her only reply.

They walked on for a little while in the white light, Maddie looking around in confusion. Why was the only color here white? Where had the other colors gone? There was nothing, absolutely nothing here in this white void except for her mother. The void was close enough around her that she could feel it... Where was she?

The light suddenly gave way to a scene below her and Maddie frowned. It looked like it was a hospital room where a young girl lay on a bed surrounded by other people. There were tubes and machines connected to her and as she watched the scene in silence for a moment she realized that whoever it was, they were on life support. Something had to have happened to this person for her head had been bandaged up too and there was a man there sitting beside her, holding her hand.

'Mom?' She looked up at Macey. 'What-what's going on?'

Macey held out her hand to her again. 'Come Maddie. We have a lot to talk about.'

The family quietly came into the room, Mika covering her hand with her mouth to stop a little gasp escaping as she saw her friend lying in that hospital bed. Maddie lay so still, the only movement being that of her chest rising and falling as air was put into her lungs by the ventilator. IV lines and other cords and wires were attached to her, some even going up beneath the bandages wrapped around her head. Was this really the same person she'd only spoken to a little less than twelve hours ago? Oh Maddie...

They gathered around the bed in silence, Cordell with his arms around both his children as Stella and August tried their hardest not to cry seeing their sister. Bonham and Abeline stood together beside the bed, Abeline the first to find her voice. 'Maddie... We're all here sweetheart.' She started, trying her best to keep her voice even. 'I'm here, Grampa's here. Your Dad and Uncle Liam are here too with Stella and August.' She felt Bonham place his hand on her shoulder and she paused for a moment, looking down at her granddaughter. 'We're all here sweetheart. We're all here with you.'

After a moment of hesitation, Mika stepped over closer to her bed. 'Maddie... Maddie, it's me. It's Mika. I'm here too.' She bit her lip, Liam coming over to stand beside her and she smiled at him through her tears as he placed his hand on her shoulder. 'Thank you.' She said, grateful for his support. He nodded at her and she turned back to her friend. 'Bel and Hope are doing well, I'm keeping a close eye on them just like you asked me too. Dakota too is okay, she's made a new friend with Rose's mare. They-they miss you and hope you'll be able to come see them again real soon.'

Mika drew back as her emotions got the best of her, Liam taking her across the other side of the room to grab some tissues as she tried not to cry.

'It's gonna be okay...' He said to her softly as she blew her nose and dried her cheeks.

'I-I think I need to go.' She finally said when she found her voice. 'I-I wasn't ready...' She motioned over at the bed where the rest of the family was gathered around. 'I-I'm sorry.'

Liam looked down at her with concern. 'You're in no condition to drive.'

'Don't-don't have much of a choice. Can't leave my car here.'

'Go wait outside.' He told her softly. 'I'll ask Captain James and Cassie if they can take you home.'

Mika nodded. 'A-alright. I'll just go say goodbye.'

Cordell and his kids moved aside to make room and Mika gently placed a kiss on her friend's forehead while saying goodbye and promising she'd come back soon to see her. After she had left, Liam quietly approached Captain James and Cassie and asked them if they'd mind seeing Mika home. They agreed they'd be able to do that and after they had both said goodbye to Maddie, they left.

With just the family and Geri left in the room again, they began taking turns to speak to Maddie but it was mainly Bonham, Abeline and Liam that spoke. Cordell was much too upset and had to stop after only a few words, stroking Maddie's hand gently instead as he sat beside her. Geri stood behind him, her hand on his shoulder trying to comfort him as best she could. Stella and August, they were doing their best trying to hold themselves together too, Liam moving over to stand with them.

All they could do now was wait.

Maddie looked at her mothers outstretched hand and then took it, the two of them walking away from the scene unfolding below them again. 'What's going on Mom? Where am I? What is this place?' She asked as she tried to figure out what was going on. Confusion and fear had taken the place of the peace she had felt earlier and as her mother didn't reply, it only grew.

After a time, it finally dawned on her as her memories slowly started to return to her and make sense. The girl in the hospital bed, the girl with everyone around her. That girl was her.

'The girl down there... That's me.'

Macey nodded soberly. 'You are very sick, little one.' She replied as a garden bench materialized out of nowhere, the two of them taking a seat in the white void. 'Very very sick.'

'I remember now...' Maddie whispered. 'I was going in for surgery...' She glanced behind her where they had just come from but the only thing behind them was the white light. She turned back to her mother, worry written on her face. 'Something went wrong, didn't it?'

'You were put into an induced coma.'

'So that's why all those folks look so worried...' A moment later, as the fog cleared from her mind, who those people were came to her. They were her family... 'Mom, please-' Desperation was in her voice. 'Explain to me what is going on.'

'Your brain was beginning to swell after the surgery and the doctors put you into this coma so that it could heal.'

'But how-how am I here and down there at the same time? It-it doesn't make sense...'

Macey placed her arm around her daughter. 'Just calm down Maddie. Everything is going to be okay.'

After a moment, she nodded. If her mother said things would be okay, then they would be. She trusted her. 'So, this place... It's between heaven and earth?'

She nodded. 'You can think of this place as the in between. Until the doctors think you are well enough to wake up you'll stay here.'

'What if I don't get well enough?'

'That's your decision to make.' Macey said as she stood again. 'There's a couple people I want you to meet.'

Maddie stood, the bench dissolving again into nothingness. 'Who?'

'You'll see.' She replied elusively as they started walking through the white light again. 'They both very much want to meet you.'

None of this was making any sense to Maddie at all but she went along with her mother after all. After they had gone a fair distance, Macey stopped and Maddie squinted to see the figures emerging through the light. There was a taller one and a small one, child sized almost. As they came closer she could see their faces and she let out a little gasp. Though she had never met her and had only seen pictures of her, she knew exactly who it was. 'Emily?'

Emily smiled at her, the little girl holding onto her hand stopping beside her. 'Hello Maddie.'

'You know my name?'

'I also know everything about you.'

Maddie looked back at her mother. 'Mom?'

Macey chuckled. 'Okay... Let me do a little explaining.'

'Yeah... I think you'd better.' She replied as a patch of grass and a pond materialized out of nowhere, the little girl that was with Emily going to sit down with a purple rabbit. Purple rabbit? This place and what was going on was getting stranger by the minute.

'Come.'

Maddie turned around at Emily's voice, seeing the three of them seated on the grass, Emily patting the grass beside her.

'Sit.'

Slowly she walked from the whiteness onto the grass and sat down with them, Macey and Emily watching the little girl for a moment before they turned back to her.

'We've been watching over you.' Macey finally started to explain. 'Just like you saw earlier, that's how we watch over you.'

'So...' Maddie started slowly. 'Let me get this straight... You've both been watching over me since you two died?'

'Well, kind of.' Emily said. 'I've only seen you since you came to live with my family. I've been watching over them and when you came along, you as well.'

'Okay...'

'You sound like you don't believe her.' Macey remarked.

Maddie turned back to her mom. 'This-this is crazy. I'm going crazy. I think Mawline must have picked the wrong mushrooms to add to dinner this time.' She rolled up the sleeves of her shirt and pinched her arm, frowning when it didn't hurt. She then hit herself and then once more, harder. Still she didn't feel anything.

Macey and Emily shared a little look and a chuckle. 'Maddie.' Macey finally spoke up before her daughter slapped herself into oblivion. 'You don't feel pain here.'

Maddie stopped, looking at her with bewilderment as it began to dawn on her that this was very real.

'Yes, this place is real.' Emily commented.

'Woah, wait just a minute there.' She exclaimed. 'You can read my thoughts?'

'What answer would you prefer?'

She covered her face with her hands, unable to say anything.

Emily chuckled. 'No, I can't read your thoughts.'

'Phew...'

'But I have to say your reaction was pretty funny.'

'Haha.' Maddie remarked dryly as she looked back at her. 'Now I can see where Stella gets her warped sense of humor from.'

'Yeah, she gets that from me.' Emily admitted as she got up. 'I'll leave you and your mom to catch up. I'll come see you later.'

'Ok-' Before she could reply, Emily had disappeared. Maddie looked back at her mom but her mom didn't seem fazed at all by her sudden disappearance.

'She's gone to keep an eye on your family.' Macey told her after a moment. 'They're going to need all the support they can get.'

'How-how long am I going to be here?' She questioned. 'I mean, it's great being here with you but how long will it last?'

'I don't know.' She said sadly, turning to her daughter. 'But there's nothing we can do about that decision. We'll just know when the time comes for you to choose to stay or to go. Until then, let's just enjoy each other's company, alright?'

Maddie nodded after a moment. 'Alright.'

Macey turned her attention to watching the little girl again. 'I'm so sorry for everything you've been through since I passed. I know a simple 'I'm sorry' can't undo the pain you went through but I just want you to know, I truly am sorry.'

'Wait... You mean, ever since you died, you've known exactly what I've been doing?'

'Yeah honey. Consider me your guardian angel or something. How do you think Abeline found you in the barn that day?'

Maddie's hand came to her mouth in surprise, tears coming to her eyes. 'You... You saw that?'

'Maddie...' Macey looked back at her. 'I've been here watching over you for the last five years. I've seen everything. Well, everything that I wanted to see, I didn't watch you in the shower or going to the bathroom. That would just be... weird.'

A laugh came from her at that. 'Oh god, the last thing I'm worried about right now is if you've seen me naked or not.'

She chuckled. 'You are entitled to some privacy.'

'But everything else...' Maddie said as she sobered. 'You know about the abuse... About my father...
Everything-everything that he did. My... My self harming.'

Macey nodded. 'And I'm so sorry honey. I wish there was something I could have done. You shouldn't have had to go through what you did.' She paused for a moment. 'I was there in that shed with you when you were thinking about taking your life. That voice you heard was me.'

'You... How did you know I was thinking about suicide?'

'It was a feeling I got. I was just lucky you heard me.'

'How-'

'Just put it down to a miracle, alright?'

Maddie thought about it for a moment and nodded.

'I'm sure you have so many questions you'd like answered.' Macey continued after there had been silence for a minute or so. 'I'll try to answer them as best I can.'

Her mom was right, she did have questions. So many things she wished she could ask her and now that she had the opportunity to, she couldn't remember them. 'The only one I have so far-' She started, motioning over to the child. 'Is who is she?'

'Amber.' Macey called, the young girl looking over at them. 'Come here honey. Come meet Maddie.'

The little girl came over from playing with the rabbit, looking up at Maddie with the bluest blue eyes she'd ever seen anyone have.

'Hi.' The little girl said to her. 'I'm Amber.'

Maddie smiled at her, the girl reminding her of Rose back on earth. 'Hi Amber.' She went to look at her mom again but to her surprise, her mom had disappeared.

'She'll be back in a moment.' Amber told her. 'She's gone to go see how your folks are doing.'

'Mom looks after them too?'

'Mmhmm.'

She just shook her head. None of this made any sense at all. 'Why would she do that? Mom never met them.'

'I never met you either but I watch over you too.' Amber told her.

'Why?'

'Because you're important to my family and since you are important to your mom, they're important to her too.'

'That... that doesn't make any sense.'

Amber giggled. 'How about I reword it? Your mom was looking after you before you met the Walkers and because we look after the Walkers, that's how we met and now we look after you too as well as them. Anyway, it makes sense to me.'

'Glad it does because I'm still getting my head around all this.' Maddie took a good look at the girl, trying her hardest to figure out who she was. 'I don't think I've ever heard them speak of an Amber.'

'That's cause I'm the baby that was not.'

Maddie frowned, trying to make sense of what the little girl was saying.

'I'm your aunt.' Amber explained. 'But I was called to be an angel before I was born.'

It slowly began to make sense to her. 'Mawline miscarried you.' She said after it dawned on her.

She nodded. 'I've been watching over them the whole time.' She looked at Maddie. 'I'm glad you came into Mama's life. She always wanted a daughter. Now she's got you and Stella and Geri since Emily is here with me.'

That certainly was a lot to take in... 'Did Mawline know?'

'Yeah... Mama and Daddy were sad about it for a long time, till Liam came along.'

Maddie didn't know what to say, a butterfly materializing out of nothing and Amber laughed as it landed on her nose. 'I've got to go.' The little girl said. 'I'll see you again later.'

And just like that, Amber disappeared and along with her, the grass and the pond.

Left alone in the white nothingness, Maddie didn't know what to think. Her mind was so jumbled up with thoughts that she couldn't make sense of... Mawline had lost a baby? That baby was a little girl here that had been watching over them? Emily was here too and had been watching over her? Her mom had seen everything that she'd gone through?...

She stood again, looking around her.

She was alone.

Where was her mother?

Where was Emily?

Where had Amber disappeared to?

She was just so confused...

Wondering what to do next she decided to start walking and see where she ended up. She kept walking through the light until finally, she reached the place where she could see back down below. She stopped there, placing her hand on the scene. It was like there was glass between where she was and the earth down below, a divider that she couldn't cross. She could see through, could hear what was being said too.

'Maddie... We're all here sweetheart.'

It was Abeline talking and she could hear her grandmother struggling not to cry as she spoke to the still figure in the bed,

'I'm here, Grampa's here. Your Dad and Uncle Liam are here too with Stella and August.'

They weren't the only ones, she could see that Geri was there too, Mika as well and Captain James and Cassie.

'We're all here sweetheart. We're all here with you.'

She wanted to do something, wanted to talk to them, to tell them that it was okay. That she was alright. That she was there with them but there was nothing she could do except stand there and watch. She was powerless to do anything.

Tears began to drip down her cheeks as she watched the scene playing out below her.

She couldn't do anything.

She wanted to do something but there was nothing she could do.

She was stuck here in this white void.

While her mom was here and she did want to be with her, how could she stay here while they were so upset?

How could she abandon her family?

None of this made any sense...

Her hand turned into a fist that she banged against this glass like divider separating her from her family.

All she wanted to do was to go back down there and tell them she was okay.

Was this what it felt like to die?