A/N: Ok so here's the second chapter. Wah hah!! If there are any errors I'm sorry, that's not my fault, I swear! Enjoy.
Escaping the Truth
A Kenny and Butters- err I mean Leo Slash
Chapter 2:
"Is there a method to your madness?"
"Kenny? Dude, what the fuck are you doing?"
Not bothering to look at Stan, or to answer his question, I continued peeping through the cafeteria windows at Leo who stood out in the hall talking to Pip.
"Dude, why-hey, what-" Jerking him down to squat next to me, I motioned him to shush and looked back out the window. I felt his eyes burn me with their questions as he made himself comfortable on the cold tile floor. Ignoring his probing gaze as best I could, I watched Leo laugh and smile having a 'jolly good' time with Pip. Jealousy burned in my chest, and began to slowly spread through me. Why? God damn it all? Why?! Was there some law that said he couldn't be that way with me? Oh, sure, he can act all normal with Pip, but I come around and he gets-oh, no he did not!
Screaming out in silent fury I watched Pip putting his arm around Leo and getting all buddy, buddy with him. Grinding my teeth, I jumped up from my squatting position beneath the window. My fingernails were biting into my skins, nearly breaking it.
Not noticing anything, I marched out the cafeteria doors and made my way toward Leo. I must have made someone mad because I felt them jump on my back. Not seeing who it was I pulled them off and slammed them onto the floor. Again, not noticing anything because I was so intent on getting to Leo, I suddenly saw a fist flying towards my face and making contact. That I noticed.
My back slammed into the metal lockers, causing me to hit my head, and I slid down clutching my nose. A crowd had started to gather around and were cheering on my attacker and I. Cursing profusely at my bleeding nose and my aching head, I looked up to see Kyle glaring.
Stumbling to my feet I returned his glare. "What the hell was that for douche bag?"
"You God damned bastard! Why the fuck did you throw Stan, huh?!" He was positively seething and I was in a state of confusion.
"Wah-" I cut myself off as I saw Stan slowly sitting up on the floor holding the back of his head. "Shit!" Rushing to him, I felt hands push me away. Looking at their owner I saw Kyle giving me the death glare and I backed off. He helped Stan up and steadily made his way down the hall to the nurse.
As I watched them go I wondered where the fuck all the teachers were. My head started feeling light and my nose was continuing to bleed. My aching head had now become a raging hammer attack, and I couldn't seem to focus on anything. The blurring images before my eyes were slowly going black. Crashing into the lockers I felt myself slowly slip into unconsciousness.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Moaning softly I opened my eyes to see Kyle's glaring back at me. Moaning again I looked away as I remembered what I had done to Stan, only to be met by Stan himself who was gazing down at me with concern. I moaned again, before deciding to just shut my eyes.
"Kenny, shut the hell up! You sound like a fucking dying cow!"
"Shut up, Kyle, you're polluting the air by breathing," I mumbled before grabbing the cheap, scratchy, infirmary blanket and pulling it over my head.
Before I could get comfortable, said blanket was yanked away from me. "Nuh-uh, mister, you're awake so get your ass up. Now." Cracking my eyes open slightly I saw a cranky, old, nurse with crazy gray hair, and brown eyes, wearing a crooked pink tiara. Seeing that it was only crazy lady Jane I shut my eyes again, curling myself into a ball to retain body heat. I was about three seconds away from dreaming about my once-sweet Butters when the bed was pushed over and I was thrown down onto the ground.
Fumbling to right myself, I was jerked up by the arm and dragged to the door, before being given a kick to the rear and a slammed door. "Fucking ho. What the hell does she think she's doing kicking sick people out of the infirmary?" Rubbing my bruising butt, I saw that both Kyle and Stan had been kicked out and were now laughing at my expense. Flipping them off I walked down the hall swaying from side to side, attempting to get my balance. Giving up I leaned against someone's locker and slid slowly to the ground.
Relaxing now I stared up at Stan and felt guilty for what I had done. "Stan, dude, I'm sorry."
Waving away my apology he sat next to me. "No sweat. It was my fault too. Never mess with a jealous man on a mission. You'd think I'd learn after having dealt with this jealous man here." Grinning up at Kyle, Stan reached for his hand, pulling him down to sit in front off me and Stan, forming a small triangle.
Kyle was grinning now. "Yeah, don't worry dude, no sweat." His grin turned evil as he said, "But if you ever do it again, you don't even want to know what will happen."
Staring at him drolly I asked, "Does it involve me dying?"
"No."
"Torture?"
"Slightly."
"Ropes?"
"Hmmm, yes."
"Chains?"
"Maybe."
"Pain?"
"Lots."
Smiling I said, "Well that's a disappointment. It doesn't sound different from any other day of the week." Sighing dramatically, I raised my face towards the ceiling crying out in mock outrage, "Why? Why must I go every day dealing with the same old deaths, and tortures? Does no one have anything new to offer me?"
Stan laughed and Kyle reached out fake punching me in the gut. Gasping, I doubled over as he touched the bruise Leo had given me two days ago. "Owww, damn it all." Gasping for a breath I felt Stan's hands on my back.
"Hey, are you ok?"
"Yeah, I'm just fine Stan. Ignore the fact that I clutching my stomach and attempting to keep my lunch down. I'm doing freakin' fantastic."
"Stupid question."
Straitening back up I looked at him blankly saying, "Der, ya think?"
"What happened? Who punched you in the stomach? I know it wasn't me because I was too busy bruising your ugly mug." Kyle reached out and was now pulling Stan to sit beside him as he asked me these questions.
"Leopold Scotch is what happened to me, damn it." Gritting my teeth, I mumbled in frustration about boys and denial.
"Leo punched you? Again? What'd ya do this time?" Stan asked with concern.
Avoiding eye contact, I mumbled, "Nothin'."
"Kenny." He cocked an eyebrow at my answer.
"Honest! I didn't do anything…..much." I added on lamely.
"Much? What much?" He was now staring at me with those probing eyes and I avoided them, instead staring at a 'Drink Milk!' poster across the hall.
"Nothing much. Just some jumping, screaming, Leo dominating me, slamming into chain link fences and…ya know, nothing stuff."
"Dude, what the hell did you do to him?" Kyle stared at me with a perplexed expression. Glancing over to Stan, I saw that he wore the same exact one.
"Dude, stop, both of you, that's just creepy, the way you both have the same expression."
Waggling his finger in my face with a slight shake of his head, Stan said, "Nope. You're not getting out of the question that easily. Now tell us what happened." Kyle nodded in agreement.
Well, shit. A sigh escaped me as I thought about my disastrous run in with Leo. Not saying anything I stood up and dusted myself off before walking down the hall towards the back of the school.
"Hey! Where you going? You know you'll have to tell us sooner or later." Kyle was calling after me, but I ignored him, and just kept walking.
Reaching the back doors I walked out and leaned next to one of the Dumpsters pulling a pack of reds out of my pocket. Lighting up the stick I inhaled the nicotine and let myself think. My thoughts revolved around Leo and just what I was going to do about him. Ever since I jumped him, he's been avoiding me. I come within five feet of him and he flees like a scared rabbit. Maybe I could kidnap him or abduct him….wait isn't that the same thing? Shit, I have no idea.
I stomped out my cigarette thinking 'fuck it all' and headed home.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
My apartment was small, white, and barren. The furniture was a curb-side specialty that I had found when I got the place. The small corner kitchen was stocked full of paper plates, plastic silverware, and all the best cookware I could afford. I like to cook; or rather I was good at it.
Walking into my tiny excuse for a home I tossed my bag onto the floor, kicking off my worn out sneakers. Before I could make my way towards the fridge to grab a drink, a knock sounded on my door. Not bothering with the peep hole I opened it to see Stan and Kyle's faces. My annoyance with them must have shown because they broke into identical evil grins. Stan opened his mouth to say something but I slammed the door on him. I didn't get the satisfaction of a slam only the let down of Kyle yelping in pain as he put his foot in front of the door.
"Go away!" I yelled at them pushing against the door.
"Damn it you fucking poor piece of trash! You're crushing my foot! Let us in! We want to know what the hell happened!" he screamed back at me. Both Stan and Kyle were now leaning into the door and I cursed my non interest in sports compared to theirs. Damn jocks and their muscles!
They were slowly opening the door wider and wider now so I gave up.
"Kenny-" Stan was cut off as I abruptly moved away from the door and had the joy of seeing them both fall flat on their faces. Smirking, I folded my arms as I watched them attempt to regain some form of dignity.
Kyle stood casting a glare in my general direction before helping Stan up. Standing straight so that their shoulders were touching they presented a untied front with arms crossed and eyes glaring; waiting.
Not letting them see my slight intimidation, I turned away and went to get the drink they had stopped me from getting, hearing the door shut softly, I sighed heavily. Shit, that means they're going to stay. Grabbing them a Cola too I turned back to see that they had made themselves comfortable on my second hand couch. Scowling I tossed, well more like threw, them their Colas and sighed once more as they put their sport reflexes to good use by catching the sodas before they cracked their skulls.
"Nice catch. Too bad you didn't miss and it didn't hit you right in the face." Sitting down on what little space there was left on the couch I propped my feet up on the cheap coffee table. Popping the tab on the can I opened it and took a huge swallow before leaning my head back, closing my eyes. Silence filled the tiny space and I felt Stan and Kyle's eyes burning holes in my skin. "If you're not going to drink the sodas then put them back in the fridge. Those don't grow on trees you know."
I felt rather than heard them both stand up and place their pops on the table. Then they stopped. Cracking open an eye I saw that they were both now towering over me, serious faces intact. Suspicion crept into my mind as I saw the glint in their eyes. Eyes open fully now I asked, "What?"
Not answering me they both pounced. Stan held down my arms and Kyle went for my legs. They had me pinned down to the couch and my shirt pulled up revealing my fading bruise before I could even struggle. Kyle let out a whistle as he saw the green blob covering my stomach and grinned in my face. "Well, at least when you two get together we know who will be the bitch."
"What?!" Looking back at Stan and then to Kyle I glared intently. "He caught me by-"
"Yeah, right, do you honestly think that's gonna fly with us? I mean look, this is proof. You're the bitch in the relationship." Stan was staring down into my eyes as he said this.
"What the hell kinda fucked up logic is that?!" Stan let go of my hands then and Kyle my feet. Jumping up off the couch I walked to the other side of the coffee table and glared at the two boys who were sitting back down. "I was caught off guard. That's all there is to it. I jumped on his back and he threw me down. When he started walking away, I-" cutting myself off as I finally realized what they were doing, I smacked myself on the forehead at my own stupidity.
"And?"
"Yeah, dude, what happened?" Kyle leaned forward slightly asking this.
"Oh, ho, ho you guys are good, but not that good."
"Damn, and here I thought we had finally gotten him to talk." Stan let out a sigh as he stood up walking over to me. I watched him warily as he placed his hands on my shoulders looking into my eyes. "Dude, listen. You are one of our best friends. You have helped us out countless times. The advice you have given us has always been the best and now we want to help you out too. So tell us what the fuck happened or were going to go and talk to Leo." He was staring at my face intensely, making me squirm a little.
Avoiding eye contact I mumbled, "Don't get all sensitive dude."
A low growl was emitted from Stan's throat and his hands tightened on my shoulders. Steering me over to the couch he sat me down next to Kyle and then sat on the other side of me. "Now talk, or we're going to-"
I waved what he was about to say. "Yeah, yeah I know already. You're going to kick my ass."
Tilting his head to the side, he told me, "Well, no, we're going to rip off your toenails and pull out your hairs one by one so that you'll eventually get fed up with it and tell us what happened."
I was a bit surprised as his comment and told him so. "Wow, that's new."
Kyle was smiling in a devilish way as he said, "Didn't you say that you wanted some new deaths and tortures instead of the same old, same old?"
"Well, yeah."
"You're going to get it unless you start talking."
Relaxing into the couch I seriously considered my options. Placing my hands in front of me I moved them as if weighing something invisible. "Talk or new torture; talk or new torture. Hmmm, this is a hard decision," I mumbled to myself.
"Kenny." Both boys said my name at the same time and I found it more than a little creepy.
"Stop it. You guys just don't know how creepy it is when you do that twin thing. Which in itself is weird since you aren't twins, but maybe you were twins in another life, or-"
"Kenny!" Both shouted now wearing faces of frustration.
Grinning crookedly I said, "Fine." Reaching for my forgotten soda I drained the can and crushed it. Tossing it to the table, I told Stan and Kyle what had happened with Leo. Before I had finished my story I had grabbed one of the two boys' pops and drained half of it. Staring at the lone full Cola can on the table I waited for some form of advice to come my way. I ended up with nothing but silence as Kyle and Stan seemed to be having trouble thinking.
Sighing deeply I walked to the small kitchen and began to rummage through my fridge looking for something to make for my dinner. I heard unintelligible whispers coming from the couch but I ignored them. Pulling some bologna from the drawer I set it on the counter along with the mayo and some cheese. Hunting in my barren cabinets for bread I cursed in frustration at finding only hot dog buns. I really need to get to the store… Eh, oh well bread is bread I guess. Preparing my makeshift bread for the bologna I heard Kyle and Stan get up and come into the kitchen area making it seem smaller than it already was.
I glanced over at them for a second, cocking an eyebrow before resuming my sandwich making process. "So? Come up with anything that might help me?"
"Kenny, is there a method to your madness?" Stan asked this making me stop to turn and look at him in confusion. "Well, honestly, who would go and attack someone that they haven't talked to in over three years?"
"I do."
"So there isn't really any method at all? Just sorta go with the flow?"
My sandwich forgotten I leaned my hip against the counter crossing my arms. "No, there generally isn't. And Der! As long as you've know me you'd think by now you'd realize I'm a go with the flow kinda guy."
Kyle exchanged a glance with Stan before walking over to grab a piece of bologna and began eating it. Grabbing a second piece he handed it to Stan who did the same thing he did.
I was growing impatient with them and laid my hand on the counter, where I stared a steady rhythm with my fingers. Both still didn't say anything so I gave up and went back to making the sandwich only to realize that those two douches had ate the last of my bologna. Damn bastards. Cursing them under my breath I put everything away and was stuck eating a cheese, and mayo sandwich. Hoping up onto the countertop I munched away, waiting.
Finishing his bologna Stan sucked his fingers loudly before wiping them on his shirt and saying, "Since you have no method, we'll just have to get you one."
Furrowing my brows in confusion, I swallowed before saying, "What?"
"You know a plan of attack. You have to wiggle your way under his skin and make it so that he gets so attached to you he can't live without you." Kyle was making big motions with his hands as he said this and his eyes had a glow to them.
"A plan of attack?" I mumbled through a mouth full of cheesy mayo bread.
"Yep, we'll call it 'Operation: Get Leo to notice Kenny'. How's that sound?" Kyle looked over to Stan who was shaking his head no.
"Leo already notices Kenny. How about 'Operation: Turn Butters Gay'?"
"No, no, he's already gay just in denial."
I almost groaned out loud as they continued their debate on titles for a plan that may or may not be successful. It was going to be a long night.
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A/N: And? And? What do you think? I'd like to know. Please! Did you know that reviews equal more updates? I know isn't that amazing?!
