Chapter 13: Pigfails
A/N: We're finally here at the last chapter of this story (not including the epilogues). We'll be taking a break from the major drama to give you a romantic comedy with mostly OC characters, then the beginning of the big climax. Starting with "Invasion of the Bunny Scratchers" and ending with "The Purge."
So I'm not sure if it was the best idea to give Cotton some semi-psychic ability with her drawings, but I'm still trying to find a good way to write her character in a way makes her interesting and I'm still struggling with that. She doesn't have control over the images she sees. They just pop in her head and sometimes, she draws them. She can't predict lottery numbers of anything.
3:30pm At the Tundra Town bridge.
"For the last bloody time, I'm not going to kill myself!"
Bogo was getting frustrated with Snarlov and Simmons' stupid attempts to talk him out of suicide when he had no plans on dying.
Snarlov was on the megahorn at full volume. "PLEASE COMRADE BOGO! DO NOT THROW YOUR LIFE AWAY! THINK OF ALL THE PEOPLE THAT LOVE AND RESPECT YOU! WELL...EXCEPT FOR YOUR SON. HE HATES YOUR GUTS."
Simmons got upset. "Fer corn sake! Don't tell him his son doesn't love him!"
Snarlov turned to Simmons with the megaphone still on. "SORRY!"
"Aaah jeez! Right in muh darn ears! Don't point that thing at me!"
"SORRY COMRADE!"
"Yer still doin' it! Point it at him! Not me!"
"OKAY!"
Snarlov turned back to Bogo. "PLEASE DON'T THROW YOUR LIFE AWAYCOMRADE! JUST BECAUSE YOU SCREWED UP AND ATTACKED THAT BAT AND MADE EVERYONE THINK YOU ATTACKED LIONHEART. NOT TO MENTION HAVING AN OFFICE AFFAIR WITH OFFICER PENNINGTON AND WENT THROUGH A MESSY DIVORCE! I MEAN, LIFE. IT SUCKS, BUT WHAT CAN YOU DO?!"
"You two seriously need to be off suicide watch." Bogo replied. He was then approached by Nick Wilde. The fox had James and Spots watch the kids in the van while he went to talk to Bogo.
"Hey buffalo butt. You okay?"
"I'm fine." Bogo replied. "I actually came out here for some peace and quiet to gather my thoughts. Then these two idiots showed up."
"Are you sure? Because I've been on this part of the bridge 18 years ago when I thought I was to blame for my dad's death."
"I'm sure Wilde. This bridge may be famous for attempted suicides, but it also provides a nice view of the city. It's calming."
"OH GOOD! NICK WILDE IS HERE! MAYBE HE CAN TALK BOGO DOWN EVEN THOUGH HE DOESN'T HAVE MUCH TO LIVE FOR!"
"Unlike those two!" Bogo fumed. "GET OFF THE MEGAPHONE ALREADY!" Bogo shouted.
Nick continued the conversation. "So...you're out of the ZPD?"
"...For now."
"Y'know, I could use a manager for my 'Preds for Peace' campaign. Someone to oversee things when I'm too busy. You interested?"
"Wilde. Are you offering me a job?"
"Yes."
"A job at the place I called 'a militia' and you quit the ZPD for?!"
"Yes. Who better to oversee and make sure it doesn't become a militia? You in or not?"
Bogo laughed. "You're a hard man to figure out Wilde. Okay! I'll do it. But voluntarily. I have other plans down the pipeline."
"Great! You start at 10 am tomorrow. I have to take my kids out to Foxden so I'll give you the keys to the restaurant."
Bogo smiled. "Okay...'boss'. SIGH! I fear for what's going to happen to this city tomorrow."
"I'm sure we'll get through it. This city is tough."
It was then that they saw Tim Wolford sprinting full steam at Bogo. "BOGO NOOOO!"
He hugged onto Bogo's wasit and wouldn't let go. He was sobbing the whole time. "Don't do it Bogo! Yer like a fadder 'ta me! I love you!"
"Would you relax Wolford! I have no intention of.."
He was interrupted by Ben Clawhauser hugging him from the back. "CHIEEEFF!"
Wolford was getting upset. "Back off Ben! Yer taking up real estate here!"
"Would you two let me go?!"
Judy came with her two bunny sons in both of her arms. They wanted out as soon as they saw her motorcycle. "They can't help it if they love you chief. Everyone on the force has a ton of respect for you."
"I wouldn't say that. Some fear more than respect."
"'Dat aint true at all!" Wolford replied. "Yer one of 'da best guys I know!"
"Oh sure! I'm so great that I didn't notice what a specist Trumpet is or just how bad things are for the predators. I'm not that great of a...a..."
Bogo couldn't believe his own eyes. Driving by on the bridge was officer McHorn. He was in a new cop car from the second district. He stopped in front of Bogo. "Hey chief. You okay?"
Bogo was so shocked, he could barely talk. "M-McHorn!...Yeah...Yeah. I'm fine. How...How are you doing?"
"Great! Moving out of the precinct was probably the best thing to happen to me. I'm taking anger management and getting along great with my new teammates. You and Francine doing okay?"
"Yeah. I've moved in temporarily. We're getting along great."
"Really? No fights?"
"None."
McHorn looked sad. "It really was me then. Look...I'm sorry for how things turned out. I was a real hot head."
"It's okay. Like you said, it seemed to work out better for you. Right?"
"Right! There's another rhino there. Female. We butt heads all the time and yell at each other. It's what us rhinos love to do. I think I'm in love!"
The two had a short laugh. "Well, I gotta get back to the rain forest. See ya around chief!"
"See you." Bogo replied. It was then that he noticed many of his old men were there. Fangmeyer, Delgato even Higgins who just got back home from vacation.
"Higgins! You're back too?"
"Yup! Just in time for this huge mess."
Bogo then got a call from Francine who was sobbing over the phone. He had to doubly re-assure her that he wasn't going to kill himself. "Francine. Look at this!" He held up his phone and showed the crowd of officers all there to support him. "McHorn was here too!"
"Seriously?!"
"Yes. Y'know, I...SNIFF!....I don't think I've ever felt more loved in my life. Thank you. Thank all of you. And don't worry about me. I'm not resigning just yet."
Everyone was elated, but shocked. "WHAAT?!"
"What are you talking about chief?" Ben asked. "The mayor forced you to resign!"
"Well, let's just say I took a play out of officer Wilde's book. Swinton should have the papers by now."
Meanwhile, back in the chief's office.
Trumpet reached up and got the papers from the high shelf which he then handed over to Swinton. "Here you go chief!"
"Thank you so much OFFICER Trumpet. Don't worry. I've already reversed Bogo's Paperwork he did on you and we'll mint you a brand new badge by tomorrow morning."
"Thank you sir!"
" 'Sir!' I like that. It's nice to have an officer who's loyal to OUR side. Now if you'll please excuse me, I'd like to read this resignation and share it with the mayor."
"You got it chief!" Trumpet shut the door behind him.
Giddy and giggling, Swinton immediately got on the phone with mayor Trunk. "Hello mayor? It's Swinton. He signed it!"
"Oh yeah?"
"Yes! I'm holding the papers right here. Let me skip down a bit...hmmm. Oh wow! Listen to this! 'It's obvious I'm no longer in a position to perform my duties to the best of my abilities. My temper and emotions have only made things worse.' Wow. He's really hard on himself! Woah. Listen to this! 'I never wanted to pursue this career to begin with. I only did it to gain the admiration of my family. I have failed this department and this city.' Woah! This is deep! 'It is out of my love and respect for this department that I must hand in my badge and retire from the ZPD. Sincerly...' TERRY FANGMEYER-CLAWHAUSER?!"
The mayor was confused. "Wait a minute. That ain't his resignation!"
"No kidding! Wait. There's another paper. It's a letter!"
Greetings hopefully temporary chief Swinton.
The mayor asked for a resignation slip, but he never said it had to be mine.
I also gave you my signature, on THIS piece of paper. I'm not giving up this
great police force to an incompetent bitch like you yet. With that in mind,
I'm taking a very temporary leave of absence. I'm also taking a gamble.
If Trunk is still the elected mayor on Wednesday, I'll hand in my badge and
sign my resignation slip. However, I have faith in the people of this city that
we will have a new mayor and that by tomorrow night, you won't be able to
handle the nightmare that's about to bestow our city and will be BEGGING me
to take back my position. Until then, I will be working on my own way to save
the city without the ZPD. As officer Wilde tends to say "It's called a hustle
sweetheart." Good luck tomorrow Pigfails. You'll need it.
Sincerely,
CHIEF William S. Bogo
"HA! He hustled you good 'Pigfails'!" said the mayor.
Swinton crumpled the letter with great anger. "GRRRAAAH! He thinks he can make a fool of me! Trunk darling, please be a dear and FIRE HIM NOW!"
"That's a bad deal. Bogo holds a lot of clout in this city. Getting him to resign, that's one thing. Firing him outright would look bad on me and I never look bad. I'm too perfect. People love me."
"You have a 20% approval rating."
"Watch yer mouth Swinton! Ya wanna be down another chief?!"
"N-No sir!"
"That's good. Besides, why worry?! You hear what he said. He'll resign if I'm still mayor and I'm the only one runnin'! Nobody likes 'dat sloth, so I'm a cinch! So relax! Yer still in charge. You still plannin' to give the senior recruits that...'training exercise?' "
"Oh yes! Tomorrow night. They'll be on the streets with us!"
"Good. Now get 'da hell off my line! One of my mistresses is trying to call."
"I...I love you."
"HA! That's cute. Now get lost! CLICK!"
Swinton slammed the phone down and shook her hoof. "BOGOOOO!"
Meanwhile, back at the bridge...
The cops were around Bogo and laughing as he explained the letter. " 'Pigfails!' " Nick exclaimed. "That's classic! Ah Bogo! You're starting to think like me!"
"Don't insult me Wilde." The buffalo replied. "I'm just not giving up on this city and I don't expect any of you to either. I'm very glad all of you came here to support me. It moves me greatly. That said, WHAT ARE ALL YOU IDIOTS DOING JUST STANDING AROUND?! WE HAVE A CITY TO PROTECT! GET OUT THERE NOW!"
Everyone started to leave in a hurry. Judy's two bunny boys were starting to cry. Especially Michael. Bogo could see how hard it was on her to be gone for long periods from her children. "Officer Hopps!"
"Yes chief?" she replied.
"These children need to be escorted home. Why don't you put them in the side car of the Baddy Buster and take them home yourself?"
A wide smile came across Judy's face. "Really sir? Oh, they'd love that! Can I use the siren?"
Bogo chuckled. "Just for a moment. Sure."
"Thank you sir!" She ran over to the van. "Michael! Petey! Cotton! You too Sarah! Hop in the side car, I'm gonna drive us back to the apartment!"
The small children cheered. Bogo smiled as he saw their happy faces. He just had one last problem. "Wolford?"
"Yeah chief?"
"Would you let me go already?!"
"Sorry sir. You know how much I love ya."
"I know...'Son'. Now heal up soon. That's an order!"
"Yes chief!"
"Looks like my van's gonna be a bit empty." Nick noted.
Just then, Auburn walked over to him. "Hey Nick, do you mind taking James to the ice cream parlor later with Spots and Suzie for that game they're playing tonight?"
"Sure thing Auburn. Wanting some time alone with Tim?"
"Yeah. Since James came along, I've had a hard time finding a bit of time to get intimate with him. We could use some alone time."
"No problem." Nick replied.
Everyone started to leave. However, Simmons and Snarlov were still around. "ARE YOU OKAY NOW COMRADE?" Snarlov blasted over the megaphone. "CAN WE LEAVE?!"
"For God's sake, yes!" Bogo shouted.
Snarlov turned to Simmons. "WE CAN LEAVE NOW!" He blasted into Simmons face.
The bear snatched the megaphone from Snarlov. "Gimmie that! You just lost yer megaphone privileges! Ah swear, ah'm gonna git that durn...tinnytoes? Ten nitros?"
"Tinnitus?"
"Whatever. Yer gonna make me go deaf ya idgit!"
Everyone took their leave as Bogo walked to the bus station on his way home. "Tomorrow's gonna be one hell of a day."
4:20pm At an old, abandoned warehouse near the docks of the Rainforest district.
Finnick was on the phone with the Adviser who was giving him orders. "Yes sir. I understand sir. It will be done. Goodbye."
An anxious Honey was standing beside him. "Well, what'd he say?"
"We're going in the blimp and we're going to test the new nighthowler gas in two locations out in Bunnyburrow. Apparently, it can be altered on the fly for different species."
"But why us?!" She asked. "We're not gas experts!"
"We only have to set up the hoses and release the gas. He's having us do it because we're 'expendable'. His words."
"Finnick...let's just run! Right now! We are in over our heads!"
"Run where? He's built up a network from inside the prison. There's no where in the city we can hide!"
"Maybe...maybe we can hide in Bunnyburrow? Ditch 'em there."
Finnick thought about it. "Yeah...maybe."
Meanwhile, on the other side of the warehouse. Someone else was receiving a call. A ferret and a former friend of Gideon Grey.
"Travis Hunchedover eloquently speaking and at your beck and call. How may I serve you?"
"This is the adviser."
"GULP! A-Adviser sir! Such an honor to hear from you!"
"It is. I hear you're our best sniper."
"I'm your only sniper, but yes. I have gained an immense skill for the art. For you see, ever since..."
"SILENCE! They were right about your ability to never shut up."
"Sorry sir. Please continue."
"I have two associates accompanying you on the blimp late tonight. A fennec fox and a honey badger. There's talk that they are not as loyal to the cause as they once were."
"And you wish to be rid of them?"
"Not yet, but soon. Once they finish their job in Bunnyburrow...kill them."
"It shall be done swiftly and silently my dear leader."
"Good. I don't like loose ends."
TO BE CONTINUED
Stick around for a trio of epilogues called "Homecoming". One of which gives an important note for the subplot in which Judy wants to give birth. Then comes "Introverts and Dragons" A love story starring all OC characters (except for a cameo by Nick Wilde and Jerry Jumbaeux Junior. Then comes the semifinal story towards the climax. "Invasion of the Bunny-Scratchers" a sequel of sorts to "Sacrifices", but not nearly as gruesome.