Broken Dreams and Silent Screams
Chapter Two- Be Nice
Lucy walked into the Hungry Brain, convincing herself for what seemed like the thousandth time to go in. She looked around the dimly lit area for Carter and Morris, quickly spotting them at the bar. She took a deep breath and approached them. "Gentlemen." She greeted with a smile.
Morris looked over first, smiling at her. "Lucy! You came!"
"I said I would." Lucy reminded him.
"And you didn't disappoint." Morris slurred a few of those words.
"How many rounds have you already had?" Lucy asked with a chuckle. She didn't think she was that late, but Morris seemed like he had at least three rounds already.
"We have only had one round so far. He's just a lightweight who didn't eat much today. He will be ok once he eats something." Carter replied, looking over at her.
She watched as Carter looked her up and down. She was wearing a short, tight, black dress that looked modest from the front but was backless. She knew she looked good and took a certain amount of pleasure for making Carter's eyes pop out of his head twice in one day.
"So what can we get you?" Morris asked.
"Club soda, please." Lucy told him.
"Ah yes, because of the surgery tomorrow." Morris reminded himself, flagging down the bartender. "Can I get a club soda please?"
"I hope I didn't keep you guys waiting too long." Lucy said.
"Nope." Carter replied, still nursing his beer.
"I really like this song." Lucy said. Partially to get a reaction from Carter and partially just because she wanted to dance, she looked over. "Morris, what do you say? You wanna dance?"
She watched as he looked over at Carter. He was smiling before looking at his friend. After one glance his face turned into a grimace. Since Carter had his back to her, she could only imagine what Carter's reaction was. "Last chance."
Morris looked back at her. "I better not right now."
Lucy laughed. "Suit yourself. I'll be back." She went out to the dance floor and started to grind to the beat of the song. Over the past several years dancing had helped her quiet her mind when she started to worry too much or get too overwhelmed. Something about letting go on the dance floor helped her get her thoughts together. She probably went out dancing at least three times a week.
Being a single woman and going out dancing alone made her have to take precautions. She took some self-defense classes and even carried pepper spray. It was necessary to make sure she could handle any jerks who thought that dancing meant she would go home with them. If she went home with them, it was because she wanted to, not because she had spent all night dancing seductively up against them.
She was having a good time dancing until she made the mistake of looking over at where Carter was. He had turned in his seat and was just staring at her as he slowly drank his beer. It caught her off guard and she tried to look away. She tried to just go back to dancing and forget that he was there, but she kept turning to see him. Every time she looked, she saw him staring at her. After a few minutes, she couldn't take it anymore and got off the dance floor.
She approached the bar and took the club soda from Morris. Then she turned to Carter. "Is there something wrong Carter?"
"No." He shook his head. "Why would there be something wrong?"
"I'm just wondering because it looked like you were watching my every move." She accused. "Do you want to tell me why?"
"You're in a strange city, dancing in a group of guys who are drooling over you. I thought I'd watch out for you." Carter stated.
"A strange city?" She scoffed. "I've lived here before. It isn't strange to me. And I don't need you to watch out for me. I'm an adult." Without thinking, she said something hurtful. "The time I needed you to watch out for me is in the past. Stop trying to make up for it now."
Morris, who had been listening and watching this exchange, picked up his drink. "I think this is my cue to leave this conversation. I'm gonna go find my buddy. Later kids! Be nice!"
Lucy looked over at Carter, immediately sorry for what she said. But he was just glaring at her. "Carter…"
"Forget it." He put his beer down and got up.
She watched as he got up and moved to leave. "Damn it." She said under her breath. She had to follow him and waited until they were out of the Hungry Brain to call out to him. "Carter!" He didn't stop; instead he walked faster away from her. "Carter!" She called again, but he started to jog. She tried to catch up but found it hard to do with high heels on. "John, stop!" She shouted.
To her surprise, that made him stop. He didn't turn around, but it gave her a chance to catch up to him. "I'm sorry."
"Ok." He nodded, not looking at her.
"What I said was a low blow. You didn't deserve it." She apologized further. "I just…seeing you again isn't exactly easy for me."
He scoffed, turning to look at her. "And you think this is easy for me? You just reappeared after all this time with no warning."
"I don't know. Ok?" She confessed. "After all this time I'm not sure I still know you anymore."
"I know what you mean. Though I am certain I don't know you anymore." He shook his head.
"What's that supposed to mean?" She put her hands on her hips.
"Look at the way you're dressing, your hair, your attitude, and not to mention the motorcycle." He listed off on his fingers. "Oh and apparently you are BFF's with Romano of all people."
"There is absolutely nothing wrong with the way I dress, my hair, my attitude or the motorcycle." She said, starting to get angry and letting her voice get louder. "And Romano has been a great supporter of mine helping me get ahead in my career. And yeah he is a great friend of mine too. So what?"
"I bet he's done more than his fair share to support you." Carter scoffed.
"You're unbelievable!" She finally couldn't take it anymore and shook her head, trying desperately not to cry in front of him. But it was no use. Without another word, she walked away from him.
Carter watched her walk away and berated himself. To insinuate that she was somehow romantically involved with Romano was low, especially since he already did that earlier today. There was something about Lucy that made him turn into an idiot. It had to be the feelings he still had for her. They must be making him act like this.
He couldn't take his eyes off of her on the dance floor, but it wasn't because he was trying to watch out for her. I mean, he was trying to make sure none of the guys got too handsy. But he also couldn't take his eyes off of her because she was stunning. Time had done nothing to dull her beauty. In fact, it had only enhanced it. He attributed some of that to her newfound confidence.
She wasn't nearly as confident when she came here as a med student. But now, being settled in her career, she exuded confidence. It was sexy.
He knew he needed to apologize so he called after her. "Hey Lucy…Luce." Since she was wearing high heels, it was easy for him to catch up to her.
"Leave me alone Carter, please." She sniffled.
"I'm sorry for what I said." He apologized.
"I'm not in the mood to keep trading jabs at each other."
He went to stand in front of her so that she couldn't keep walking away from him. That's when he saw her face. Some of her eye liner had smeared due to her tears. Without thinking, he reached out any gently wiped the tears from her cheek.
"Why can't we have a normal conversation where neither of us tries to hurt the other one?" She asked.
"I wish I knew." He shook his head. "But maybe we could start now? I'd like to, if you want to."
She seemed to study his face for a moment before nodding. "I'd like that." She looped her right arm in his left one and they continued to walk. "So what do you want to talk about?"
"We could talk about what you have been up to since you left Chicago because it seems like everyone else has been getting Christmas cards from you except me…which isn't a dig." He was quick to add that last part. "I swear. It was just an observation."
"Well, Romano pulled some strings and got me a position at Mercy Hospital in St. Louis. I learned cardiothoracic surgery techniques from one of his old college buddies. And then I went to the Mayo Clinic, where I perform various cardio-thoracic procedures. There isn't much excitement in my life. That's pretty much everything." Lucy explained.
"I didn't realize you work at the Mayo Clinic." He marveled. "That's fantastic Luce. I'm proud of you."
"Thanks."
He could have sworn he saw her blush at that comment.
"So what have you been up to?" Lucy asked.
"Nothing like that." He laughed. "I went to Africa for a while to work with a group called Alliance Medicines."
"Really?" She asked. "That seems so dangerous."
"It was at times." He admitted. "There were some close calls."
"How long did you stay over there?" She asked.
"Almost four years." He admitted.
She broke free from him and stepped in front of him. "You were in Africa for four years?"
"Yeah." He shrugged.
"Wow." She said. "That's really incredible. What made you decide to go over there?"
He wasn't sure how to answer that. They were getting along so well right now. Answering that could jeopardize that. He decided to be honest. "I was having some personal issues and decided on a whim that I needed to get away from Chicago. I suspect it was for many of the same reasons why you fled to St. Louis."
She seemed to be searching his face for a moment. Then the smile on her face dropped. "That's a very diplomatic way of explaining it."
He could tell that this conversation could go wrong soon, so he decided to try and get the conversation changed. "Hey, do you want to go get a cup of coffee?"
"I don't know…" She hesitated.
"We've been doing so well not snapping at each other. I want to see how long we can keep this up." He smirked.
She couldn't help but smile. "Ok. There is a coffee shop across from my hotel. We could go get one cup of coffee."
"Great." He held his arm out for her and they walked to the curb to try and hail a taxi.
The whole ride over to the coffee shop, Lucy kept sneaking glances at Carter. To her surprise, every time she glanced over, he was already looking at her. Talking to him like this was wonderful. It reminded her of the early stages of their previous relationship.
She remembered everything about their previous relationship, from the good to the bad. They were so hesitant to get together after the stabbing, each afraid of their feelings for each other. But they finally let that go about six months after the stabbing. They started dating and everything was easy between them. They had fun together, they understood each other, they supported each other and they loved each other.
At least that's what she thought.
Their downfall started with a simple phone call from Millicent Carter.
Lucy draped her arm over Carter's chest, snuggling in closer when his phone went off. "You know you could ignore it." She whispered.
"I could, but what if it is the hospital." He reminded her, grabbing it off the night stand. He groaned. "It's Gamma."
She gave him a look. "Be nice."
"I'm always nice." He smiled before answering the phone. "Hey Gamma…yeah…well I'm very busy…I can't guarantee I'd have time…ok…sounds good…I'll see you then." He put the phone back where he got it and wrapped his arm around her. "She wants to come to the hospital and talk to me tomorrow around lunch time."
"Why do you make that sound like a bad thing?" She asked.
"Because whenever she decides she wants to talk, we usually argue." He informed her. "But let's not talk about her anymore."
"What should we talk about?" She played dumb before starting to kiss his chest.
"Hey Lucy…We're here." Carter tugging at her arm brought her out of her reverie.
"Oh, good." She gave him a small smile and got out of the cab with him.
"Are you ok?" He asked. "You seemed off in the cab."
"I'm fine." She assured him. They had reached the coffee shop across from her hotel and went inside. It wasn't late yet, but it was late enough that there were only three other people in there. She chose a booth close to the back and sat down.
After both ordering a cup of coffee, Carter looked at her quizzically.
"What?" She laughed.
"Ok, I've been trying to figure this out all day and I can't." He laughed. "So can you please just explain to me how Rocket Romano found someone to marry?"
"Oh c'mon!" Lucy laughed. "You make him sound like a serial killer or something. He really isn't that bad once you get to know him!"
"Maybe to you, but the rest of us kind of hate him." Carter pointed out. "None of us see any good in that man. So please just walk me through it." Carter continued to laugh.
"I may have set him up with one of my friends from St. Louis." Lucy explained. "Her name is Rebecca."
"Is there something wrong with her brain?" Carter snickered.
"There's nothing wrong with her brain!" Lucy replied, not laughing anymore. "But there is something wrong with her heart."
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…"
"I know." She nodded, seeing the look of contrition on his face. "It's ok."
"So what is wrong with her heart?" Carter asked.
"She needs a heart valve repair." Lucy explained. "Or at least I hope I can just repair it. Otherwise, I'll have to replace it."
"I'm sure you will get her taken care of." Carter told her, reaching across the table and grabbing a hold of her hand.
"I hope so." She gave him a small smile. "Romano called me to do it because the hospital considers Rebecca his family and you know you can't operate on your family."
"We have other surgeons here that could have done it." Carter pointed out.
"Yeah." Lucy nodded. "But I believe his words were something to effect of not wanting to let any of those degenerate losers touch his beloved." She burst out laughing. "Ok. I see your point. He is not exactly the nicest guy on the planet."
Carter laughed too.
Lucy stopped laughing a moment later. "They are both counting on me and I don't want to let them down. I've done the procedure before, many times. I just don't want to screw this up for them." She remembered the last time she tried to help a loved one of someone she cared about. That time it ended in disaster. She had to hope this time would be different.
He got out of his side of the booth and slid in next to her. "Lucy, believe me. You can do this."
Without thinking, she closed the small gap between them. She threw her arms around his neck and placed a long, slow kiss on his lips. She felt him wrap his arms around her waist while he continued to kiss her. A part of her knew this was wrong, but it just felt so right so she kicked that voice from her head. The same electric spark they shared in the past was still there, which delighted and scared her at the same time.
"Lucy…" Carter whispered when they finally parted.
"John…" Lucy whispered back. She couldn't say anything more than that because he started kissing her again. It took every ounce of willpower she had to pull away. Out of breath, she pressed her forehead against his. "John…"
"Lucy…"
"We shouldn't…" She closed her eyes for a moment.
"I know." He answered. "But I want to."
"I do too." She confessed, opening her eyes and scooting away from him as far as she could. "That part was never a problem for us."
He softly chuckled. "No, it certainly wasn't."
"I should probably go." She told him.
"Yeah." He agreed, staring at her face. "You probably should."
It was like he was a magnet that kept drawing her closer and closer. Before she knew what was happening, she found herself inching towards him again, planting slow kisses on his lips and moaning softly when his fingers found their way under her dress. "Or we could go into the bathroom together and…"
She looked into his eyes and saw the same, dark desire that undoubtedly had to be reflected in her own eyes. It took him a moment of thinking before he planted a kiss on her forehead and then stood up. He held out his hand to her and before her brain could tell her not to, she followed him into the bathroom.