Broken Dreams and Silent Screams
Chapter Ten
Lucy followed the server to the table and sat down. She knew she was early to dinner but it didn't take her as long as she thought it would at the lawyer's office so she headed to the steakhouse.
"I'm so glad you could come sign these papers today." Daryl Dove smiled at Lucy as she sat down at the conference table. "It's always best to take care of these formalities sooner rather than later."
"Well I'm planning on leaving the state soon to go back home so I thought I should get it done while I'm still here." Lucy explained.
"That's right." He nodded. "You live in Minnesota?"
"Yeah." She nodded.
"This paperwork is pretty standard. It just outlines everything that you are receiving as part of the estate." He slid papers over to her. "If you want, you can have a different attorney look them over."
"No." She shook her head, skimming the documents. "I'm ok to sign them now."
"I'm afraid your taxes will be more complicated this year because of this." He cautioned. "Sometimes people don't realize there are estate taxes." Daryl droned on. "They spend all of the money they were left and then end up with a huge tax bill they didn't plan on. It would be comical if it didn't ruin people's lives. Do you have any plans for the money yet?"
"No, not yet." She shook her head. "I don't plan on keeping it though. I know that much."
"Donating can be a nice gesture and a good way to get tax breaks."
"I was wondering something though." She said, taking her eyes off of the documents in front of her for a moment. "I plan on selling his house. Since I'll be in another state, is there any way you could…"
"I can assist you with the sale of his house." He interrupted. "I would be glad to help with that. And once you figure out what you want to do with the money, I can assist you with that as well. I can also help you with the year-end taxes."
"Wonderful." She smiled. "I just have one more question and you may not know the answer, but I don't have anyone else left to ask. How did he save so much money?"
"Ah." Daryl chuckled. "He never told you?"
"No." She shook her head.
"His mother died in surgery due to malpractice when he was young. His father sued the doctor and the hospital. He ended up winning several million dollars in the settlement but he died shortly after the settlement was awarded. So that money was put in a trust for Robert's education. He used the money to get through medical school and then invested the rest of it."
"Wow." Lucy was stunned. He never mentioned anything about that to her. Most doctors go into the profession due to a family member or someone they care about being sick. It made sense now why he became a surgeon and why he was so hell bent on trying to make sure his patients made it through surgery.
"Do you need another moment with the papers?"
"No." Lucy shook her head. "Where do I sign?"
"Here…initial every page…and then sign again on the back page." Daryl said.
"Ok." It took Lucy a couple of minutes to initial all of the pages. When she was done, she sighed and put the pen down.
"Congratulations. You are now ten million dollars richer." He smiled and took out an envelope. "This is for you."
She took the envelope and examined it. "What is in it?"
"It's a letter from Robert that I was supposed to give you if you ever had to sign these papers." He explained.
She stared at the envelope, trying to debate whether or not to open it now or wait. She chose to wait because she was certain that no matter what it said she would end up crying. "Thank you for your help."
"Anytime." He replied. "And I'll be happy to help you with whatever you need once you decide what to do with the money."
She looked over and saw Carter heading to the table. She smiled when he sat down.
"I'm not late, am I?" He asked, checking his watch.
"No." She assured him. "I got here a few minutes early."
"Oh. Good."
"Can I get you two anything to drink?" The server asked as she approached the table.
"I'll have a beer please." Lucy ordered. "Whatever is on tap is fine."
"I'll have the same." Carter said. "You really don't have to buy me dinner."
"It's my way of saying thank you for all the packing you helped me with yesterday." She explained.
"Were you able to get the last two rooms done today?"
"Yeah." She nodded. "It is nice to know that all of the packing is done. They are coming tomorrow morning to get the stuff to donate, as well as the stuff that I'm putting in storage. The estate lawyer is going to help me with selling the house."
"That's good." He smiled.
"Will you two need some more time to look at the menu or are you ready to order?" The server asked as she placed their beers on the table.
"I'm ready if you are." Lucy said to Carter.
"Ladies first."
"I'll have a sirloin steak, medium rare with a baked potato with butter and the sautéed mushrooms please." Lucy ordered.
"Alright." The server wrote it down and then looked at Carter. "And for you sir?"
"I'll have the same, except I'd like my steak to be medium instead of medium rare."
"Wonderful." The server smiled at both of them. "I'll get that order put right in."
"So how was work?" Lucy asked.
"Fine." Carter shrugged. "People came in, we saw them, treated them and sent them on their way. Same old thing. How was your day?"
"I signed all of the papers today." Lucy sighed. "All of his stuff is now officially mine."
"It's scary in some ways, isn't it?" Carter chuckled.
"Yeah." She nodded. "It's very scary."
"I remember when I signed the papers getting Gamma's estate put in my name. It was one of the scariest times of my life." Carter explained. "There seemed to be this intense pressure associated with it. I still struggle with it sometimes and wonder if I'm doing a good enough job."
"I'm sure you are doing a great job." Lucy encouraged. "And I know what you mean about it being scary. Granted, I didn't get nearly as much as you did from your grandmother, but it's still daunting."
"Have you figured out what you are going to do with the money?"
"I have no clue yet." She answered. "I just know that I don't want to keep it for myself. But I also don't want to just blindly donate it to something. I want to donate it to something that matters and something he would have liked or at least approved of in some way."
"I'm sure you'll come up with something."
"Hopefully." She chuckled.
The food was good, but the dinner itself was awkward. They found things to talk about, but it seemed like things were strained between them. They were both done with their food.
She hesitated to say the next thing because she knew he wouldn't like it. "So, this wasn't just a dinner to say thank you. I mean, I did want to thank you. You were unbelievably helpful getting things packed and everything. But I'm going back home tomorrow night after they come to get the rest of the stuff from his house and I wanted to say goodbye."
The smile that had been on his face fell and he looked down. It seemed like he was trying to be more interested in putting his napkin on his plate than what she said. He was avoiding eye contact with her.
"I thought you had more vacation time left." He finally said.
"Technically I do have a few more days I could take." She nodded. "But…"
"But you don't want to be here anymore." He finished her sentence for her.
"Can you really blame me?" Lucy asked, watching as he raised his eyes to meet hers. "My job and my home are back in Minnesota. My life is there. There's not much here for me anymore."
"Except me." Carter scoffed.
"Please don't be like that." She asked softly.
"I don't know how you want me to be, Luce." He sighed. "I love you. I've said that many times since you came back. But I'm starting to wonder if that even means anything to you."
"Of course it means something to me!" She sighed.
"It just doesn't mean enough."
"Carter…"
"No." He shook his head. "I get it now. You don't have to explain anymore. You used me and I read too much into this" He got up from the table. "Thanks for dinner. Have a safe trip and a nice life." Without saying anything else, he walked away from the table.
"Carter…" She called after him but he wouldn't stop. Since she hadn't paid the check, she couldn't go after him. Though even if she did go after him, what would she say? What could she say?
She loved him more than he realized. That was partially why she couldn't stay. She wasn't in a good place right now. Losing both Romano and Rebecca the way she did in such a short span of time left her devastated. She just isn't in the right frame of mind to be with anyone, especially not someone as important to her as Carter.
But he didn't understand that.
And she didn't know how to make him understand.
Plus, she wasn't lying when she said her life was back in Minnesota. Her job, her house, her friends and her routine was there. Chicago wasn't her home anymore. It stopped being her home several years ago.
It broke her heart to leave him, but she had to.
Carter slammed the chart on the counter. "What's next?" He barked.
"Whoa man, calm down." Morris laughed. "What is wrong with you today?"
"Nothing." Carter shrugged, taking a look at the board.
"Something is wrong because you have been in a terrible mood all day." Morris chuckled. "So why don't you save us all a lot of time and trouble and just tell me now."
Carter was quiet for a moment before sighing. "Lucy is going back to Minnesota tonight."
"Oh."
"Yeah. Oh is right." Carter said.
"You knew she had to go back eventually though, right?" Morris asked.
"I was hoping…"
"I know buddy, but can you honestly blame her for not wanting to stick around here? This place has some seriously bad mojo for her." Morris asked.
"That's what she said too." Carter replied.
He couldn't blame her for having bad feelings about this town. She had a lot of bad memories here. But he was here, and that should have counted for something. He kept thinking that if she loved him enough, she would have either stayed or at least said something about staying in touch.
But she just wanted to say goodbye.
That was something he couldn't do. He couldn't say goodbye to her because it seemed too final and he refused to believe that this was how their love story ended.
They had been through too much to just give up now.
Maybe he needed to tell her that. He looked at his watch. It was almost 6. To be honest, he didn't stick around last night long enough to know what time she was leaving. He could be too late. She could be gone by now. Or maybe she was still here.
He looked over at Morris. "I need you to cover for me for a little bit."
Morris smiled. "You're going to go find her, aren't you?"
"I'm going to try." Carter admitted.
"Go on." Morris motioned to the door. "I've got you covered."
"Thank you. You're the best." Carter said, rushing out of the hospital.
Lucy stood outside the ER entrance, thinking back to earlier today.
Lucy sat on the couch. The donation people would be there soon but she had a little bit of time. So she decided to read the letter that Romano left for her. With shaky hands, she slowly opened it.
Ms. Knight,
If you are reading this, then unfortunately I am dead. I hope I died in some wonderfully awesome way, like having a helicopter fall on me after saving a busload of kids. But I assume that is expecting too much.
I was also hoping you would never have to read this. By now you're probably wondering why I never told you that I had so much money. The simple answer is you never asked. The more complicated answer is that I never wanted that money.
My father won that money in a malpractice suit resulting from the death of my mother in surgery. I didn't want money. I wanted my mother back. But, as I've told you many times before, life isn't fair. It just is what it is. So deal with it.
I dealt with it by ignoring it most of the time. To be honest, this money has been like a noose around my neck. I never knew exactly what to do with it. I trust you will figure out a better use for it than I did. The only requirement I place on this money is that you do what you want with it. Don't be afraid of it like I was. Do something that will make you happy.
You know me well enough to know that I don't have many people I truly care about. I can count the number of people I consider to be real friends on one hand and I never thought I would settle down and have a family.
Thankfully, you came into my life. You were a breath of fresh air. There weren't many people willing to berate me like you did on Christmas Eve about Valerie Paige. It made me take notice of your talents. The more time we spent talking, the more I thought of you like the daughter I never had.
Then you just had to go and introduce me to Rebecca. I was fully prepared to live the rest of my life without thinking about marriage. But you set me up with her and I realized what my life had been missing. I'll be forever grateful to you for that.
Alright, that is enough sappy stuff. Let me impart one last piece of knowledge to you. Don't waste time. If there is something you want, go after it. Don't let fear, guilt, or anger stand in your way.
Until we meet again,
Robert "Rocket" Romano
She had read the letter a couple of times today, and realized she needed to come see Carter before she left. She didn't know where he lived anymore, but thought she would try and see if he was working. She entered the hospital, looking around for Carter. She got to the front desk and smiled at Jerry. "Hey Jerry."
"Lucy." He smiled back. "What are you doing here?"
"I'm looking for Carter. Have you seen him?"
"Oh you mean Mr. JerkFace?" Jerry chuckled. "Actually, now that you mention it, I haven't seen him for a bit. It's been too quiet around here. I wonder if he went home early."
"What do you mean Mr. JerkFace?" Lucy asked, curious about this new nickname
"He's been in a horrible mood today, slamming down charts, barking orders at everyone and being a real jerk. Yesterday he was in a great mood, but today I think we all just want to smack him." Jerry explained.
"I see." She nodded. "I think I'm to blame for that so I'm sorry. I told him that I'm going back to Minnesota tonight."
Jerry came around the front desk and gave her a big hug. "You aren't going to be gone for several years without another visit, are you?"
"I don't know." She laughed. "But I'll still keep in touch."
"Good." He smiled.
"Lucy?" Morris questioned as he approached the front desk. "What are you doing here?"
"I came to see Carter before I left." She explained.
Morris laughed. "This is hilarious. But he just left about ten minutes ago to find you."
She smiled. "Really?"
"Yeah."
"It figures." She sighed.
"Do you want me to call him and get him back here?" Morris offered, pulling out his cell phone.
"No." She shook her head. "That's ok. Please don't."
She came by to talk to him, but maybe it was better that he wasn't here. It was hard enough to leave as it was. If she had to look into his eyes as he told her he loved her again…well she probably wouldn't leave. But she could leave a note instead.
"Do you mind if I use the lounge to write him a note before I leave?" Lucy asked.
"Be my guest." Morris motioned towards the door.
Carter walked back into the ER, totally dejected. He wasn't able to find Lucy anywhere. He tried Romano's house and her hotel. But she wasn't at either place. He got to the front desk and sighed.
"Hey, Carter…" Morris said, approaching him. "You didn't find her."
"No." He shook his head.
"She was here." Morris informed him.
"She was?" Carter asked.
"She left about ten minutes ago."
"Why did you let her leave?" Carter practically yelled.
"Look man, I wasn't going to lock her in a supply closet or anything." Morris defended himself.
"Ok. But you should have at least called me. Maybe I could have gotten back before she left."
"She didn't want me to call you." Morris explained, pulling an envelope out of his pocket. "She did leave this for you though."
Carter grabbed it. Seeing John scribbled on the front in her handwriting, she shoved it in his pocket. "Great…a Dear John letter…just what I need." He sighed and grabbed a chart.