So my plan was to be updating more often but life got in the way. But I hope you enjoy this next chapter.

Chapter 13

Steph POV:

Sitting on my couch, I ran my hands through my hair. Ranger was back, and had been following me. My Spidey-senses had been going off all day, but I never would have thought Ranger was tailing me.

Today was bittersweet. My heart had jumped, and my throat had tightened, when I saw him. It had almost been a year since we had seen each other. A year of heartbreak and pain. A year of building myself up, of improving my confidence, my self-worth.

Seeing him hadn't undone any of my work, but it did make me question what had happened between us a year ago. I breathed out a shaky breath.

Ranger had said he loved me. Since when did he love me? Was he just saying that to get me back in his life? What was I supposed to believe from him?

I shook my head, burying my face in my hands with a loud groan. What the hell was I supposed to do with this information? Just the thought of it made my throat tighten, heart beat faster, and my stomach flutter with butterflies.

Since when have I felt like this? I knew I was holding buried feelings for Ranger, but I didn't realize they ran this deep. I just wanted this day to be over. I had things to do today, but now I didn't want to do them. I want to hide and not think about my feelings. That was exactly what I was going to do; that doesn't mean it was a good idea or a healthy one but it was what I was doing and what I needed today.

I made sure my apartment door was locked before I started to strip on the way to the bathroom. I put my gun on the toilet and started a bath. I moved into the bedroom and placed the rest of my weapons and the files I had picked up today into my safe. Walking back into the bathroom, I tied my hair into a bun before slipping off my remaining clothes and slipping into the tub.

I sighed as the hot water hit my body. I rested my head against the back of the tub and listened to the water run. A few minutes later, I felt the water level get where I wanted it. I leaned forward to turn off the water as my phone rang.

I debated on whether to check it or not. Sighing, I stood, grabbing it from the counter. It was my mother; the question was did I really want to try and deal with her while I was trying to relax? Our relationship had improved but I still wasn't the daughter she dreamed of having. She agreed to let me live my life the way I wanted to.

I sent it to voicemail and sank back into the tub. I just wanted to relax right now. I realized I fell asleep in the bathtub when I heard my locks tumble, but the door caught on the chain.

"Steph, you in there?" Blake called.

"Yeah, just a sec!" I called back, standing from the tub. The water was ice cold and I shivered as it fell from my body while I wrapped myself in a towel. I padded across the floor to the door and let him in. He shut it behind him and looked me over.

"Don't take this the wrong way but you look like a drowned cat." He grinned, reaching forward to tuck a piece of wet hair behind my ear.

I laughed softly. "I fell asleep in the tub."

He frowned. "That's not safe."

I smiled at him. "No, it's not." I agreed. "Now, since your here, why don't you join me and make sure I don't fall asleep again?"

I turned my back to him and started walking back to the bathroom. "Don't forget to lock the door back up."

I heard the locks tumble and the chain slide into place, as he followed me. I heard the rustle of fabric as his shirt came off, landing somewhere on the floor. I smiled to myself and drained the water, turning on the shower. I turned locking eyes with Blake who only had on a pair of boxers. He paused watching as my towel slid from my body and hit the floor. I stepped into the shower, and he followed after dropping his boxers.

I stood from the bed and Blake groaned softly in his sleep. I found my robe and slipped it over my shoulders, tying it at the waist. The idea had been to take a nap with Blake and take my mind off everything, only my mind was going at a hundred miles an hour and showed no signs of slowing.

I needed to call Jay, I needed to talk to somebody that knew everything. Finding my phone, I called Jay as I moved into the kitchen to find something to eat. Jay answered before the first ring finished.

"What's up Steph?"

"I need someone saner than me to talk to," I told him as I opened the fridge to begin my search.

"Well, I can't guarantee that I'm saner than you, but I don't mind listening." He chuckled.

"Well… I need someone who's on the outside of the situation."

"That sounds ominous as hell," he grumbled.

"Ranger followed me today and I confronted him."

"Well, that's not what I was expecting to hear," he replied, and I heard the creak of a chair as he sat forward. "How did that go?"

"About as you would expect. Well maybe not. He told me he loved me." I paused. "Well maybe I should start at the beginning of the conversation."

I closed the fridge and opened one of the cabinets. I found a bag of Cheetos and walked into the living room. I recounted my encounter with Ranger while munching on the them.

"So what are you conflicted about?"

"The fact that even though I haven't seen him in a year and my heart still stutters when he calls me Babe. Maybe the fact that I wanted to jump into his arms and forgive him, no matter how much pain he put me in. I shouldn't want that."

"The heart wants what the heart wants," Jay said. "The first thing you should ask yourself is do you think that you could have a relationship with him, any type of relationship that would be beneficial emotionally, physically, and mentally to either of you? Or would it just be torture of not being able to trust your partner fully? Always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Always wondering when they're going to turn their back on you and leave you out in the cold."

I ran a hand over my face. "Why do you always make so much sense?"

He chuckled. "Who knows? Maybe life experience. Just think about it. If you think that you could be friends with him than start there, and if eventually you want more, then go for it. If you want to give him a second chance, then give him one. You're the only person whose opinion should matter."

"Are you saying that if I decided to marry him tomorrow you would be my maid of honor?"

I heard him let out a bark of laughter. "If that's what makes you happy Steph." He chuckled. "If that so happens to come true, don't forget I look really good in blue tones. I think I would look good in a powder blue strapless gown."

I laughed, "I'll keep that in mind."

"Just putting that thought in your head." He laughed.

"Thanks, Jay."

"Always here when you need to talk," he replied.

"I'll be in Trenton in two days for my nieces party. We'll have to grab dinner."

"We will." He chuckled.

After we hung up, I sighed and stretched. I threw away the now empty bag of Cheetos and my stomach growled again. It wanted more than just Cheetos, apparently. Walking back into the bedroom, I gazed at Blake for a moment before walking to the bed and snuggling into his arms. He squeezed me with a sigh, eyes opening to look at me.

"Where did you go?"

"I just went to get something to eat, but I'm still hungry."

"I figured you were hungry when I felt you get out of bed." He smiled, rolling onto his back and bringing me with him. His stomach growled loudly, and I laughed. He smiled and leaned down to kiss me softly.

"Want to order some food?"

"Now that I'm back in bed why would I want to leave it?" I laughed.

He shook his head and searched around for his phone before sitting up. I rested my head against his stomach, and he interlaced his fingers with mine, resting them on my chest. It hit me again that this was just like a relationship, even if we didn't use that label. I felt a pang of guilt hit me in the chest. We had made it clear that we didn't want a relationship, but Blake was a nice guy. It didn't feel right to still have feelings for one man from my past and be in bed with another.

Blake glanced down at me; his lips pursed. "Are you okay?" he asked.

I nodded, "Yeah, why do you ask?"

"Just a look crossed your face."

"No, I'm okay… Just an unexpected event today," I answered.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

I looked up at him. "No, I'm okay."

He nodded, squeezing my hand. He went back to looking at the app. "How does Mexican sound?"

"Sounds great."