Well Dib already had the horrible misfortune of seeing Zim and then Gaz playing with themselves.
What else could possibly go wrong?
You'll only know if you read below.
"Oh Tak... Tak!"
Dib was in his room thinking of the only girl who he ever felt attracted to, go figure that it also had to be an alien.
"Why should they have all the fun?"
Instead of Zim who has a screen saver of Gaz or her sister who held a photo of Zim on her phone, Dib was more private and had a poster of the purple eyed Irken on his wall.
Dib certainly learned his lesson after seeing those play doing the nasty with themselves.
So he decided to keep as far away from Zim or Gaz for a while, since he couldn't still watch them in the eye and even if he did, he was sure he would see murder in them.
"And I can't exactly blame them." He thought "Anyway, enough wasting time.. I gotta get back to what I was doing."
The raven haired teen continued to play or to be more precise, the machine was playing for him.
A robotic hand was giving him more pleasure than any girl or his own hands ever could.
... That was not only sad but weird.
"Oh Tak!"
"Son?" Prof. Membrane asked from the other side of the door "Son is that you?"
But Dib didn't answer, in fact he was still fantasising about the alien Invader to pay any attention to anything else in the outsi world, his father's worried voice included.
The young paranormal investigator moaned in pleasure.
The professor misunderstood the noise as a moan of pain.
So he opened the door "Son... I was hearing some odd noises coming from your room and I thought I should take a..."
Both Father and son froze like deers in a street light, for far different reasons.
Dib could only look away in embarrassment, no longer paying attention to the artificial hand giving him a good time.
As for the professor, he only saw two things, the robotic arm and the poster of an alien which he assumed was a CSI-FI character.
"Son." He cleared his throat "I know you're at that age where you are exploring your body."
"Swallow me Earth!"
"But don't you think you should at least look up real women rather than fictional aliens?
Dib was extremely mortified by what was happening that he didn't even try to convince his father that alien's were in fact real.
"This is not the time or place."
The scientist was about to close the door before speaking one last time.
"Oh and son?"
"Yeah dad?" Dib manager to croak.
"Creating a robotic arm for a manual override is a gross misuse of REAL science!"
He then closed the door, quite disappointed.
"How could things get any worse?!"
That answer came in the door of an explosion as his bedroom wall took a direct hit from an Irken gun.
As soon as the smoke and dust dissipated, Tak was in sight, out of disguise, with a full set of deadly weapons coming from her PAK,
"I'm here for what is mine you horrible Human!" She snarled "Surrender my ship of suffer the consequences of a mighty... AAAAAAHHHH!"
Tak covered her eyes in disgust.
"You humans are sick!" The Irken bellowed "My eyes! My eyes!"
Unfortunately for her, she didn't look where she was going and one wrong move and she dropped from the house's second floor I to the backyard.
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! Oof!"
Dib humiliated by what happened hid under the covers of his bed.
"I am never leaving my bed again."
Loud banging came afterwards.
"Dib!" Gaz shouted "Shut up! Zim and Gaz are trying to watch fifty shades of grey!"
"And don't even think of coming in you filthy Dib-Stink!"
"And now I'm even more scarred for life."
LOL, Well, sometimes people learn the hard way and if the incident in Zim's lab or Gaz's beating wasn't bad enough, now Tak lost any sort of respect towards the "Hero of Earth."
As an added bonus I couldn't resist adding the implication that Gaz is losing her virginity to Zim, it must made everything worse for Dib since he's bound to hear it unless he leaves his room.
Damn... This story turned out to be way weirder than I originally expected.
But as always, constructive criticism is greatly accepted.
Invader Johnny Signing Off.