Since today is Valentine's day I decided to write something for IZ, this takes place before Zim started dating Gaz and spoiler alert, we'll see who was Zim's first love, Heh heh heh.
Zim entered the High Skool's restroom, trying to escape the horrible human holiday that was Valentine's Day.
"Pitiful humans and their inferior love fest." He sneered "This pathetic Earth holiday will never hold a Gasquiggasplorch to Probing day!"
Try as he might due to his mighty Irken senses, Zim could hear how the human females would gush over the meat slab they received from their boy friends or how the human stink boy smellies would gloat about "getting some tonight."
Get what exactly? Zim did not know, or care for that matter.
"Stupid Earth monkeys." The Irken hissed "Wasting their time on affection in a pathetic effort to find a mate… To what end? They'll be doomed soon!"
Zim smirked evilly staring at himself in the mirror "Invaders need no one, NO ONE!"
"SHUT UP YOU FREAK!" Duh said in an occupied stall "Some of us want to poop in peace!"
Zim simply got his spider legs out of his PAK and fired an insanely powerful lase at the stall, revealing Duh with his skin scorched, his clothes tattered and the toilet destroyed.
"Damn… I gotta lay off the corn and mayonnaise they serve in the cafeteria." Duh said in a daze, wobbling out of the bathroom.
The Irken glared in contempt at the child who had interrupted his GLORIOUS monologue.
He went back to stare back at the mirror, giving himself a thumb's up "You're amazing Zim!" The alien said to himself "YES I AM BECAUSE I AM ZIM!"
The Irken them made a victorious pose and then another, then another, several in which made Zim admire himself.
"Why… I dunno why I never noticed this before but it makes perfect sense!" He proclaimed "Human holiday or not, I KNOW Who belongs at my side and that would be none other than ZIM!"
He pointed at his reflection "BE MINE!"
Dib who had witnessed everything from another stall, slapped himself in annoyance "Idiot."
The human later spied on Zim's base and how the Irken in question was having a "date" with himself.
Zim was in front of a mirror in his kitchen, raising a glass of an Irken drink.
"TO ZIM!"
"This is too pathetic." Dib thought "Even for me."
Come on, don't act as if you didn't see that one coming, Zim has a high opinion of himself , so of course he would love himself a LOY, heh… Gotta say, this idea was a little weird to write but in the end I supposed you got to learn to love yourself first before you make the commitment of loving someone else, which Zim did a bit too literal.
Well… Happy Valentine's day, I guess.
Next time, I'll write the GIR chapter, I promise.
Invader Johnny Signing Off.