Ch 7
Author's Note: HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! I know I've been MIA, and to make up for it here is a back to the basics chapter, songfic fluff time! I have two VERY specific reasons I picked this song, see if you can guess both! [One is pretty obvious, I wrote it that way lulz 😉]
If you don't have anyone to spend today with, [ LIKE ME!] spend it with Barson! 3
Now, ONWARD!
Chapter 7
Olivia arrived to Rafael's room in the hospital just in time to see him being wheeled out with his arm in a cast and sling.
"Rafa! They're…they're letting you go home already?"
"Yup! Doctor's cleared me after you left," He smiled, eager to get out of this depressing place.
"I mean, you JUST got shot. Are you sure…?" She asked, directing her gaze towards the nurse.
"Olivia, come on I'm—" Barba hated being patronized to.
"He's fine, Ms. Benson," She assured her. "The bullet wound was completely clean, didn't hit any major bones or arteries; we stitched him up and he should be fine to heal at home! Although, he probably should stay with someone while he heals…" She went on, giving her a knowing look.
"Right! Yes, of course. I guess you're bunking with me for a few days then," She smiled, as they all walked into the elevator and headed into the lobby.
"Really, Liv? It's such short notice, you have Noah and everything…" Raff started to protest.
"ACTUALLY, this works out great. Noah's going to a sleep away camp for his school this weekend!" Olivia went through her phone calendar, beaming with glee. How lucky was THAT?
"Liv you don't have to—" Raff still tried objecting, not wanting her to get in anymore trouble.
"Rafael, you're coming home with me; that's an order," Olivia gripped the sides of his wheelchair, inches away from his face.
"…Yes ma'am," He grinned, glancing down at her lips. He glanced around, noticing the nurse had left and the cab driver was on his phone. Feeling safe, he gripped her face and pulled her into a tight kiss. They both pulled away after what seemed like forever, breathless and smiling.
"Come on soldier," She giggled, helping him into the car.
-Olivia's apartment—
Olivia held Rafael's free hand, opening the door with her free one and guiding him inside towards the couch.
"Okay, so you're gonna need clothes, right? Are you going back to work right away? Do you need suits, casual, PJ's…?" She immediately began rattling off a list, going into "mom" mode. While she spoke a mile a minute, Rafael sighed and patted the seat next to him.
"Olivia, please. I'm a wounded man, I need comfort. We can worry about that later," He pleaded, using those famous puppy dog eyes. Olivia sighed in return, plopping down next to him and sinking down into his chest like she was so accustomed to now. He kissed her forehead and smiled happily.
"I could stay here forever," He whispered, glancing out her window.
"…But we can't," Olivia whispered back, tears in her voice. She thought about what was waiting back for her at the office, if only they could just stay here in their cocoon.
"….Did I ever tell you I wanted to be an actor as a kid?"
Olivia raised her head to look at Rafael's eyebrows raised in a smile.
"I…what? Where did that come from?"
"I did. All through high school, I was in plays and musicals. It's originally why I moved to Manhattan," He confessed, twirling his thumbs nervously.
"Wh-Why….then why become an ADA?" She was still a bit in shock. How had she never known this?
"Why else? Money. There's no money in being a starving actor, ESPECIALLY in New York. It's all this work, for little to no pay off. I thought if I'm gonna work that hard, I want a guaranteed paycheck," He chuckled, now staring at the ground.
"…Do you miss it?" She asked. He turned his head to face her, his eyes glistened with tears.
"I didn't, until I met you," he smiled. "You reminded me what it felt like to be excited about something, passionate. Eager to come to work every day…I haven't felt that way about being an ADA in….quite a while," He admitted shamefully.
"So, why are you telling me this?"
"Well, I've….never told anyone that before. It's something I'm really ashamed of, but with you—I feel safe. And you've done so much for me over the years and this week, it's beyond my wildest expectations. I wanted to somehow, someway….pay you back. And based on your music choice the other night….I thought you'd enjoy this. I hope, you enjoy this.," Rafael smiled, pulling out his phone and opening Spotify. Softly, the song filled the living room, and Olivia's breath left her. Was he…Oh my god, was he really going to…? And as if on cue, she heard the faintest voice begin to sing along:
No more talk of darkness,
Forget these wide-eyed fears;
I'm here, nothing can harm you,
My words will warm and calm you.
Let me be your freedom,
Let daylight dry your tears;
I'm here, with you, beside you,
To guard you and to guide you.
The words hit her so hard she felt as if she might burst into tears; she felt a few stray down her cheeks. It's as if Rafael knew what was in her head, what she needed to hear. And his voice, his voice was amazing. How had he given this up? Gulping audibly, she looked up at him and prayed to GOD he wouldn't run away screaming from her lack of talent:
Say you love me every waking moment,
Turn my head with talk of summertime.
Say you need me with you now and always;
Promise me that all you say is true,
That's all I ask of you.
Now it was Rafael's turn to look surprised, but to her relief not horrified. He had never guessed she'd just go along with this silly act, but she jumped in right beside him, no questions asked. And her voice, it sounded so raw, so real. He knew they both were speaking truth.
Let me be your shelter,
Let me be your light;
You're safe, no one will find you,
Your fears are far behind you.
He wanted so badly for her to believe him, to believe it himself. He wanted to protect her from everyone and everything. Dodds, Rapists, Crazy grandmothers, all of it. Even if she didn't need protecting, which he knew she didn't. Still; he had an ongoing need to protect her, even if it was just in this room for a few minutes.
All I want is freedom,
A world with no more night;
And you, always beside me,
To hold me and to hide me.
She snuggled closer into him, gripping his embrace tighter around her. She never felt like she needed protection, she'd always taken care of herself. She was good at it, she liked it. She had gotten used to the fact that it was just the way it was; and then she met Rafael. She sat in his arms, just like this and from the moment it happened; she felt safe. She felt safer than she'd ever felt before. She didn't ever want to give that up, not ever.
Then say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime;
Let me lead you from your solitude.
Say you need me with you, here beside you,
Anywhere you go, let me go too,
Rafael turned her head up to face him again, as he sung the last line right into her eyes.
Olivia, that's all I ask of you.
She couldn't believe he was getting her to sing Phantom in her own living room, but also, she couldn't help but enjoy it. The outlandish romanticism of it all was so out of her wheelhouse but for some reason, felt so natural and comfortable with him.
Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime;
Say the word and I will follow you.
Share each day with me,
Each night, each morning.
Olivia gulped and sang the last part into his chest ever so softly, scared to say the words out loud:
Say you love me!
He smiled, kissed her head and whispered back:
You know I do.
She looked up at him, tears now streaming down her face in happiness, relief and pure love as they sang the last lines in awkward harmony:
Anywhere you go, let me go too
Love me, that's all I ask of you.
The music swelled and as if on a Broadway stage, they embraced in a powerful kiss. After a few minutes of a high school make out session to "Cell Block Tango", Olivia pulled away gently, both of them out of breath.
"I um, I better get back to the office. I was just taking a lunch," She grabbed a compact from her purse and began smoothing her hair back and dabbing her eyeliner.
"Yeah, probably. Do you want me to go?" Raff asked, fixing his own hair.
"I don't know, Dodds and his suits are camped out in a squad room like vultures,"
"Okay, that's it. I'm coming," Barba began looking for the bag he brought from the hospital, his mother had brought it to him against his will. It had at least one suit, he knew that much.
"Rafael, I don't need you to protect me," She scoffed.
"I know you don't NEED me to, doesn't mean I won't. That's how this works," He explained, gesturing back and forth between them. This. Them. They were a this.
"Yeah but—" Olivia protested.
"Olivia, I'm coming with you. That's an order,"
"Yes sir," She cheekily grinned, amused at his playback of her at the hospital.
Barba and Benson: Bring it on, Dodds.