The whole town, it seems, comes to see us off.
There's a huge commotion, lights and bright flags everywhere, whipping in the strong wind. Banners proclaim the name of the celebration, and voices can be heard around every corner. Some families have the names of their children written on posters that drag on the ground when they walk. Vendors sell warm slices of bread and pumpkin pie. Someone steps in a discarded piece and starts to shout. I close my mouth shut.
I'm completely terrified.
I consider pulling out of the whole thing. I consider taking the backpack I've packed and pouring it all out behind one of the food stalls like garbage. I consider all of these things, but I don't get around to any of them, because Solas has caught my eye and he's coming my way.
"Kai!" He greets me, slapping me on the back with an open palm. A nickname? I didn't ask him to use one. "You ready?"
I don't know what drives me to tell him the truth, but somehow it happens and the words fall out. "No. Never. Absolutely not."
He gives a hearty laugh. I realize, smiling nervously, that I had been expecting him to take me seriously. Never mind, though. I'm glad he isn't making fun of me. "Well, I am. And it's just the crowd. We'll be leaving at sundown. You'll be fine."
He claps me on the back again and leaves.
I wonder if I'm having another panic attack. My heart won't seem to slow down, and my face is flushed red. I can feel the imprint of his fingers in my back like I'm made of dark clay and he's left his mark on me. I walk around the stalls some more, trying to kill the time before the sun goes down. I can already feel it. The sky is darkening, and the hue of the mass of clouds has changed to an ominous gray.
Suddenly, feedback screeches over the scene and everything goes nearly quiet. There's still a murmur of conversation in the background, but I can hear much better. The feedback surprises me, though, and I clap my hands over my ears, trying to block it out. I drop to the ground and try to slow down the unraveling feeling in my chest. I stare at the dirty ground. Another chunk of pumpkin pie is smushed into the ground. I grind it deeper in with the heel of my boot until I hear my name through the blockage and pull my hands away.
" . . . Reina Samson, and Solas Xavier." A ripple of applause wakes up the crowd, and I realize I've been called up. Solas turns around and beckons me in with a wave of his hand. He winks at me as I run faster to catch up, and swivels on his heel like a dancer to face the stage he leaps up on.
Even though I'm the last to get there, Solas gets the biggest cheer. He's the golden boy of this town and everyone knows it. The thing I notice as I follow him hesitantly, though, is that there's something brutal in his smile. Maybe it's just the sense of anxiety I seem to be sensing around everything tonight.
The announcer says something about the bravery of this town's youth. "Extraordinary, and extraordinarily human." He flashes us a grin, and I look down, away from all the faces.
"And now, today, we will see them off." Everybody cheers, and we begin to file off the stage. Only I don't. I keep standing there, staring down at my hands, because I've noticed something strange about them. Someone pushes me from behind, and I start moving, but I never take my eyes off my hands. They're glowing, glowing just slightly, and when I lift them to my face, I notice bits of violet coming off their tips like dust. Everybody turns to the crowd to say goodbye, but I focus on the discovery, asking myself a question I'm not even sure if I know how to answer.
What does this mean?
But I'm jarred out of it by realizing something, something terrible. I search the crowd all of a sudden, rifling through the unfamiliar faces with my eyes, trying to find the familiar one. "Mom," I say, and remember that I didn't get to say goodbye.
But we're going. We're going, and it's dark and freezing, and the scarf around my neck whips in the direction of the adoptive home I'm afraid I'll never again see in the same light, and my hands are glowing violet.
Everything has changed now. There's no point in looking back.
But I do it anyway, just to see.