Chapter 16: For all of Arda
With Eru's instruction that they could not eat or drink anything in the purgatory on their way out, the party did not dare stay another night. Having addressed what needed healing, the companions traveled on towards the gate back to Arda.
"Fare thee well," called Puck from behind them as they left the glade. "Thou art the strangest travelers we have ever known. If ever again thou meet the fair folk, we shall give thee our blessings."
Night fell, but they walked on without rest. Finally, after many hours with nothing but the stars of old earth to guide their way, they approached the gate again. A huge form lurched onto the path, the sound of baying hounds ringing out through the dark woods. The questing beast stood before them, its snake's head shifting from side to side above its spotted hide. [1] Gandalf and Legolas looked to Lossrilleth, who seemed to always know what was going on in this cursed place better than they, but she looked utterly bewildered. The questing beast did not approach people – it was meant to be chased!
It bent its sinuous neck down to Lossrilleth and turned one snake's eye to her face. "Eru sayeth thou have a design for I, and I am bound to follow thy word." Lossrilleth stood silent for a moment in surprise, then looked at the sky in exasperation. Eru had led them on a frantic chase out of the dream lands, testing Legolas painfully at every turn and now this? She sighed and turned her attention to the problem at hand: she had accepted life as an elf, so now the will of Eru was hers to follow obediently.
"Yes, I do have an idea for you, but you will need to be able to speak Sindarin," she said to the beast. It blinked twice and spoke again in Sindarin. "So be it, elf, I shall speak as you do." Of course, Lossrilleth thought, this whole place was a chaotic cornucopia of influences and ideas of Tolkien's – naturally everything in it could speak the language he wrote.
"Very well," Lossrilleth said. "Then you must come with us through the gate. I will give you your task once we are safe in Arda."
"You cannot!" said the beast. "I must have my design before I can step into the world beyond."
"If Eru has tasked me with finding you a purpose, then I shall," she replied. "Some elves grow restless in the endless peace of Valinor. You, questing beast, have mourned here lonely and purposeless in the dream lands of Eru for ages past. You have knowledge of all the tales from the age of Arthur, the once and future king, correct?"
The beast nodded its huge head. "Then my design for you is this: make your home deep in the forests of Orome and the lands beyond. As is your nature, make yourself difficult to catch! If any person succeeds at finding you and presents you with a gift that pleases you, then you must tell them a story. Then they shall set you free to be chased again. With the mandate of Eru, I declare this law: only you, the questing beast, may tell these tales. None may pass them on to anyone else – if they speak them they will be struck mute. If they listen when they should not, then they shall hear no more."
The beast stretched out its neck to its full length and reared up on its hind legs, releasing its raucous roar. "So be it! I shall run swift and true in the land of Aman. None shall catch me but with great cunning. And if they do, they shall hear such tales of righteous Arthur and his knights, of Guinevere and Lancelot the faithless, of Merlin the wizard and his rival, Nimue the witch."
"Well, good," Lossrilleth said, feeling peeved after their trying day. "Now, may we leave this place?" Gandalf smirked at her no-nonsense bearing. But he had to admit he wanted very badly to hear the lore that Lossrilleth, bearing the mantle of a maker of worlds one last time, had reserved for those willing to chase this bizarre creature through wood and water. (The only people who loved lore more than elves were wizards.)
The questing beast brayed and walked through the gate, followed closely behind by Lossrilleth, Legolas, and Gandalf. They returned to the path that they had strayed from only a few days before, utterly changed. Gandalf spoke to the beast, "Come now, sit by our fire tonight. I understand you have been lonely for many ages. Tell us a tale and be in company once more." The beast crowed with glee and began to lope away, saying, "First you must catch me, you old wizard, and find a suitable present!"
"Nice try," Lossrilleth said to Gandalf, who took out a pipe and began puffing it in a huff.
(~*~*~)
The party was relieved to be free of Eru's nightmare purgatory and wasted no time in the morning putting distance between themselves and the gate. After a few hours the companions stopped at a mountain spring where they could replenish their water. Gandalf took out the map he had brought along for the journey, on which he had been taking careful notes as they had traveled south. Still more lands were left unexplored, at least one in the direction he had seen the questing beast take off in the night before. Gandalf sat contemplating whether he might bring them home by another path, and whether to choose east or west, when he looked up at the two elves.
They stood facing each other, holding hands and speaking softly. Though they stood apart, he sensed an energy between them so strong, he wondered that they did not fall into each other. "Well that's that," he thought to himself. "I've never seen a pair of elves who more desperately needed to share marriage vows already. If Thranduil and Elrond are offended that they did not wait for the traditional engagement period and celebration, they can blame me for failing to escort them home."
"Ahem," Gandalf cleared his throat loudly. Legolas and Lossrilleth looked at him, surprised. "As we have seen on our journey south, until the point of the gate the lands of Aman are quite safe. I dearly wish to complete this map and would beg your assistance, friends. I propose that we split up and meet again on the southern border of the forest of Orome. I will go west, following that dratted questing beast, you go east. I would ask that you keep good notes of your path as you go to fill in my map – it really is absurd to all have lived here for thousands of years and have so little knowledge of our continent!"
Legolas nodded at Gandalf, taking his request seriously, seemingly unaware of the pretext to leave them alone. "If you think it is important, I am sure we can manage to make a map," he said. Lossrilleth gave Gandalf a suspicious look, glancing at him with a raised eyebrow. Gandalf refused to acknowledge her look, but he was reminded once again that she had a – unique – history for an elf maid. He did not partake in procreative activities, but he wondered if Legolas was in for it. Very few elves in the history of their world gone to their marriage night with a partner who already had personal experience with such activities.
Gandalf copied the basic map onto a spare roll of hide. Showing them what little was known about the southeastern shore of Aman, he suggested that they move along that night to a grove mentioned in his scroll. "Farewell, my friends, until we meet again!" Gandalf said. "I shall meet you in three moons. Take care and may the blessings of the Valar be upon you." The elves touched their hearts and extended their hands towards the Istar in the traditional farewell. The great champion of the Valar wandered off smoking and thinking: he wanted to hear some new stories, but first he had to figure out where to get a gift for a beast.
The two elves set out for the grove Gandalf had suggested, walking swiftly and silently. Their destination was not far, so they reached it by mid-afternoon. The grove of trees stood by a still lake. One especially magnificent tree stood over them all, its tallest branches going high into the sky, while others swept down toward the earth, touching its own roots. Lossrilleth imagined what it would look like under the ground, and thought the tree had created itself in the shape of a great circle, with its trunk running through the middle.
Lossrilleth suggested that they camp under the tree and take the rest of the day to recuperate. She took her turn to bathe in the lake gladly, finally washing off the salt that still clung to her skin and hair after her swim in the ocean. Feeling refreshed, she put on the white dress again, admiring the way it floated about her when she moved (and stayed miraculously clean). Lossrilleth felt a drop of rain fall on her face, then another. She ducked under the branches of the tree as the rain started up in earnest. The outside world could not be seen at all through the screen of its foliage, nor heard through the shush of rain on leaves.
"I think it will rain all night, and perhaps all the next day," Legolas commented from where he sat beneath the tree, taking inventory of what they had left in their packs. He looked up from his work and saw her, fresh from the water. Her hair was damp and loose, and her white dress glowed like the moon. Legolas stood and they approached each other. He took both of her hands in his and took in the vision of her, his heart beating hard. "You look beautiful, my lady," he said softly. She moved closer to him, sliding her arms along his before placing them lightly on his back. He took her face in his hands and kissed her tenderly.
Lossrilleth sighed and broke away after a little while. "Celebrian has told me about the many traditions that would normally be observed, but I have also heard that sometimes they are not held to. Some elves marry on the road, yes? If you will it, I would give you my promises now. For myself, I would prefer to share the time that follows out here, by ourselves, rather than in the city where everyone seems to always be watching and listening. But if you wish to wait, then I will wait."
"You would not court first?" he asked, a little surprised, especially after what had transpired in their flight to the gate. The elves valued traditions, and rarely rushed to do anything. If they waited, he would also have the benefit of receiving the customary instructions from his father before they joined.
"I do not need trinkets or favors to know what I already know," she replied. "My greater concern is causing offense to my family or yours." Legolas nodded, thinking. "It is not unheard of, especially in a circumstance such as this. We are many months from home still. Our hopes were already known to all, and none objected. My father might bluster but I do not think anyone would hold it against us in the long run."
"And what do you want?" she asked him. He closed his eyes and rested his forehead against her own. She held herself still and quiet, allowing him the freedom to make his own choice. "You are not the final temptation yourself, are you?" He asked, teasing a little. She laughed, "I do not think so. Remember, I was once mortal. Perhaps you would call me impatient, but I would say that I am not overfond of wasting time. Even now, we should not take it for granted. Do you not remember what I showed the Angel of Death? In the vast universe, Arda is small. It will end."
She searched for the skill Galadriel had taught her – to bring an image into the mind of another. She found it was still there despite the powers she had released. She showed him again the end of a planet. But this time, she turned his attention not just to the inevitability of death, but the preciousness of life. She showed him just how great the vast lifelessness of space was, and how small Arda was. She shared a memory of watching a star born. She saw planets turn in their orbits for whole cycles around suns. (Legolas realized something that he had only been dimly aware of before – she had not lived as long as he, but she had been awake for far, far longer.) All this she watched with detachment, only a spirit without the spark that being embodied and a part of a world brought. Then she shared the joy she felt now, her body and soul brimming with energy and feeling – as they had danced together, or learned together, or shared their first kiss. How improbable it was to be alive and together in a place of safety, abundance, and beauty!
"We have a long time, my love, but we do not have forever. If the choice were mine alone," she said softly, "I would not waste another day without you." He kissed her deeply, accepting the knowledge she shared with gratitude, for it dispelled every whisper of melancholy he had felt after spending long, repetitive years in Valinor.
"Then let us waste no time," he agreed.
"Are there words to say?" She asked.
"We may say what vows and blessings we will and ask for Eru to witness. What words would you say?"
She looked solemnly into his eyes, translating the only vows she knew for such an occasion, "Then this is my solemn vow. In the name of Eru and before the Valar as my witnesses, I take you to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, in blessings or in sorrows, to love and to cherish, for all of Arda." Returning her look with equal seriousness, he repeated the words back and kissed her firmly. The couple glowed as if they stood under bright starlight, up the canopy of the great tree of life under which they stood.
Far away, Gandalf, Galadriel, Celeborn, Elrond, Celebrian, Thranduil, Oropher, and the ladies of the woodland realm each stopped where they stood seeing a vision of what was happening to their loved ones on the edge of the world. From the deepest ocean to where they stood in the trees, and into every vision they sent forth, the great voice Lossrilleth had heard in the mist both whispered and boomed, "This union is blessed." The visions ended, and all the witnesses felt great joy – rushing to find each other wherever they were to celebrate and marvel at the divine attention given to the couple! Gandalf hummed happily to himself as he walked down a trail several miles to the west, following the tracks of the questing beast.
Footnote:
[1] The questing beast appears in a number of texts of Arthurian legend. I like the beast in The Once and Future King, T.H. White.
The next (short) chapter is the wedding night. Feel welcome to skip if that bothers you. I tried to not make it too over the top - I don't think that fits this story - but it is intimate.