Castle in the Sky

Written By: Lady Lunar Phoenix

A/N: Sooo about Filks, that was the term used years ago for when you took a pre established song and change the lyrics... Cough don't judge.

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Hello Darkness my old friend..

I've come to talk with you again.

For I was caught quietly sleeping.

I'm now a plush and trapped in a cage, reading.

A God damn birdcage, I'm enraged, this book is big...

Can't turn a page...

And the scouts are being violent...

Soma sent the email off to Arikado as he sat trapped in a bird cage clearly meant for one of the larger pet bird species. His plush legs tucked under him, he put his phone down on the right, next to his legs. Though now he was being forced to paw at the page to turn it like some uncivilized lower life form. He couldn't hold it on his lap without crushing his legs, thus the book didn't plushy up like he did. Leaving him trapped with this large book in front of him and forced to try and slide each page open. Not an easy task by any stretch of the human imagination when he lacked fingers or a moist tongue.

This was just pure abuse.

At least it didn't block his vision of what was going on outside the cage in case his input was needed. Though he was angry enough to not bother giving it if asked. Seeing that he had been in the middle of a nice, comfortable nap when all this mess began. Made worse by the fact that somehow, 'somehow', his castle had been lead to believe that Soma was in danger. Thus transforming into her scout form and forcing him into plushdom.

Again.

So while the Sailor Scouts fought for truth and love and whatever else they felt up to fighting for today. Soma sat in a large birdcage that did nothing more than allow him to sit on his knees, with this large book of names in front of him, one he already had been going through. His plush hands kept sliding against the page before him as he struggled to turn the sheet. He looked like some stupid animal pawing at the edge of a sliding door in an effort for escape.

Because his own plush hands were now too big and finger lacking to open his cage up... Not to mention trying to climb out that tiny hole, or force open the bottom to drop so he could fall. Nope, he was in a portion of hell itself. And if he was going to be stuck in it, he was going to torture Arikado for kicks. But first, turning the page to the book he had picked up earlier that day before falling asleep mid read.

Since he couldn't call his castle... well... 'castle', but she gave herself a mix blood appearance and people learned English in school. He wasn't going to fool 'anyone' if she introduced herself as that, as opposed to her sailor form. At least 'then' she had something of normal type of name, sorta... for a scout.

"Come on... Come on!" Soma muttered to himself as he finally got the sheets to move, though getting 'one' page versus several was still in question. He couldn't see the little red felt tongue he now supported sticking out of his mouth and against his upper lip space. Nor could he see the huge raging monster that terrorized the city that the scouts were dealing with. His eyes were strictly for those slender sheets of paper that, finally, parted enough that he could push and look at a new page.

Giving him a chance to sit back and relax before picking up his phone again, because multitasking was a thing.

Stuck in this cage I swing alone.

Hanging above a cauldron boiling hard

Wondering why my life's gone so wack.

I turned the page and now I'm mailing back.

When I realized that my state could have had me in a sack

and left on a busy turn pike totally flattened, jack.

He put the phone back down before going through the names listed in the book before him, while still feeling a little off about having to even 'do' this. Really he was trying to give a human name to what was normally a very large structure meant for living in. A Castle that seemed rather devoted to him, but more willing to oblige his 'childs' request.

His child.

Soma still wasn't sure how to process the fact that he had a 'son', a dhampire of short tempered demeanor. While at the same time Soma was struck curious about what Arikados' 'real' name was. After all Arikado was European obviously, so the Japanese name was clearly made up. In fact now that he was name hunting he was forced to realize how 'blatant' the name was. An illusion with horns, couldn't be more obvious now that he thought on it. Arikado was a dhampire, hence horns, and his whole agent thing was a disguise, an illusion.

Sometimes Soma wondered why he couldn't just have a normal functioning brain.

Then he opened his mouth and tried to reassemble Arikado's name the night before and got struck by one thing. Switching the 'r' with an 'l' and then all those old B rated movies came back to him, turning 'Arikado' into 'Alucard'.

And while he wanted to prod the dhampire for being cheeky, there was this strange core of emotion he couldn't name that didn't want to pester the man over the matter.

And so he typed.

And from this vantage I did saw!

Many lovely ladies in a row!

Fighting for Justice with their hearts bleeding

Stuck in an eternal war unceasing

Future dreams torn asunder and left drifting

And no one cares

While I remain, encaged in silence.

But even 'that' name seemed irrational, Soma was confident that even 'he' wouldn't vainly name his child that. So Arikado 'had' to have yet 'another' name and it was turning into a curiosity born itch that wouldn't stop bugging him. So Soma settled his attention on the castle who was...

For which then Soma finally turned his gaze from the book and his phone to check and see what the scouts 'were' doing. All but Hotaru was out on the field, then again she was apparently a world ender scout so, sidelines she did sit. Though it would have been more appreciative if she had at least bothered to rescue Soma.

Just saying.

They weren't fighting another one of those single purpose monsters this time it seemed. The monster they started off with was dead now apparently and there was this guy. A guy who was positively grandstanding material and Soma had a wary fear that he might have been as hammy back when he was Dracula. If no other clue save that he found himself listening to the guys' original speech and critiquing it.

Seriously Soma? You're critiquing a guy's speech on why he was going to end the Sailor Scouts? What were you like 'before'? Maybe that was the thing, perhaps the whole 'Alucard' thing was to show that Arikado wasn't a walking Ham Master... a 'Hamster' if you would. For which the mental image of a large black hair, puffy, fluffy hamster came to mind. And it was an image enough that Soma was done by then. He couldn't handle the image and started cracking up, covering his mouth with his right hand while he slapped his plushy thigh with his left.

Arikado was going to kill him one day. But at least Soma would have the last laugh! He was going to die with that mental image in his head, take that son of his! Amid the hilarious tears in his plush felt eyes, Soma resumed the task of scanning the names listed on the baby name book. Letting the reality that he was essentially attempting to name his castle settle in causing him to calm down. At least a little bit.

Amazingly enough she wasn't very odd either, he expected some highly eccentric behavior certainly, she was dressed as a Goth for pity's sake! But she was mostly just overly protective of him, and when it came to things she didn't know off hand, she just played up an overtly cute personality so someone would help her. For the life of him he didn't really know which was worse because of that.

Her demeanor and form made it difficult to near impossible to treat her like she 'was' the structure. It was one thing to order a room to do as he commanded, it was another thing completely to order a girl standing there looking at you. Depending on your presence for her very survival, to say 'go back to the seal and die' was not something he found he could do.

Going back to the castle and living in it was impossible, he enjoyed the freedom he had living outside among the living. But now he was conflicted over the fact that he was condemning her to a slow death. Especially since she admitted she didn't have access to the Chaos she needed to normally survive the time between his resurrections. Which given he didn't want another resurrection or reincarnation meant she would waste away and die. Or become the den of some other raging lunatic, paging Graham and Ceilia.

Foolish humans did not know

The fact that I wanted off that throne

Hear my words so they might reach you

Take my arms, and let me go to school

But my protests rebounded in silence between their skulls

And their lives ended, in senseless violence.

Then there were the Sailor Scouts.

Here were a bunch of women who he only recently got to know, and though he had never done anything to 'them'. What with the war on the moon kingdom happening LONG before he was even born, finally something that happened that predated him by a large margin. It felt terrible to see them in this situation, in their 50's, no spouses, save those two pairs. No children of their own, putting their lives on the line fighting villains because of one throw away line Usagi said.

Somehow it felt like she was being held far and away beyond responsible for something that happened. Honestly, the fact that it was not just 'her' but her whole court that was being punished was enough to make him frown in quiet disappointment. Mostly because her court 'was' loyal and dedicated to her that this just expanded the number of people who suffered. There was bound to be people who would have been more than happy to be married to any one of the women.

But these thoughts were useless when one was trapped in the form of a plush toy, sitting in a large bird cage hanging over a potential pit of death. And with resignation in his heart, Soma returned back to his book of baby names and his cellphone. Because sooner or later, Arikado was going to reply to all the ridiculous lyrics he had been emailing.

By actually sending back a reply message or cut the cord holding Soma suspended in the air sending him to his untimely death. Soma wasn't putting it past Arikado with what he knew now. Dad is a brat so of course son inherited the brat gene. It was how science worked. Either way, he was going to get himself out of this cage, by hook or by crook.

Sending out his hand he gave a careless swipe of the book, expecting the pages to ignore his plush appendage only to watch as the pages turned. A good chunk in fact, skipping many potential names and leaving him rather disheartened. After all he didn't want to skip pages, there was always a chance that a good name was somewhere in them. Only it wasn't like he had any reason to give a serious struggle over the matter and with a quiet resigned, puff of felt sigh. He resumed trying to find a proper name for his Castle.

"She's not a boat... how hard can this be? I named Arikado after all..." He growled to himself as he started looking at the offered names.

Well he and his 'wife' named Arikado.

But these people bowed prayed

To the unchanging expectations of me they made.

Its not like I didn't give a warning

That I didn't want to come back and just go on, do your thing

They held signs held read; Darwin's law is in effect

Do you best, to keep our organs smeared across the castle walls.

Before Soma could finish coming up with a suitable final line for his email to Arikado he heard a very discreet clearing of the throat. The voice was small, when compared to a human child it was positively tiny. Causing Soma to look up and around, catching sight of a pair of fairy wings fluttering above the top of the book he had.

So he lifted himself up a bit and behind the book was a pair of fairies, one in a bright green dress and another in a light blue dress. Between the two of them, they carried a plain white envelop that was almost as wide as either of them was tall.

"Ah excuse us Great Master, but we have a message from the Young Master for you..." The Green Fairy began.

"He mentioned your, situation, and thought the two of us with actual hands would prove more useful," the blue clad Fairy added.

Soma blinked and gave a nod watching as the pair began fussing open the envelop and produced a sheet of paper. The Fairies worked neatly as they unfolded the letter and passed it through the cage. Allowing Soma to grab the sheet and with a bit of work pin it against the book he had been reading from.

Soma,

The only part of the song that I like is the title when its 'you' preforming.

Signed,

Arikado, Genya.

"That letter didn't take long," Soma noted as he looked back at the Fairies who had slid the envelop into the cage and were busy working to get the door to the cage open. All the while thinking 'There it is! The brat gene I 'knew' would be passable!' Soma thought as he shut the book and sent it away back into the proverbial hammer space.

The fairies didn't answer him, then again they 'were' trying to pick a lock with magically summoned tools. "Do we not have a skeleton key?" He asked as he tried to see what they were doing. The question caused the pair to stop and look up at him in confusion, "you want us to pick up a skeleton?" They both asked their voices sounding rather unsure since skeletons were rather large...

"No... You know... a skeleton key, a key that can unlock any door?" Soma asked when he suddenly remembered the method of locking doors in Celia's castle involved making sigils in the air. While his own castle was more rewarding, all he had to do was make it 'to' the door, well save that one door that required a moonwalk.

What kind of Castle did he 'own'?! Well he could ask her when the battle for the safety of the world was over he supposed. He leaned over and checked to see what was going on...

Oh... all the scouts save both Moons and Chaos were dead.

Joy.