~ So many apologies you guys! I haven't forgotten about this series though I swear! I've been swamped with work since college started, parenting is a whirlwind of LITERALLY EVERYTHING, and I have been dealing with personal things! Thank you so much for your continued support and messages about Online Now! :) I will be updating more frequently I promise! Sorry again :'(~
"I don't know if I like paprika on my potatoes." Kate looked at the seasonings I was unpacking with uncertainty.
"Then I won't season yours! Have the boring potato wedges for all I care!" I teased.
"Hmph," Kate started, eyeing me suspiciously, "You've been in high spirits lately, Ana. So who is he?"
"What?" My face flushes red, and I can feel myself getting hot under her gaze. "Don't be absurd. I barely leave the house."
"Well something must be going on that I'm not aware about? You went out and dropped more money on food than I do on clothes. Spill the tea, Ana!"
I moved around the counter to finishing unpacking all of the bags from the grocery store. Kate was right about the food. I don't think I had spent that much money on food in my life.
"Things have just been going well. I'm in a good mood because of that."
I tried to hide the truth in my eyes. I couldn't just relent to Kate that I got naked on the internet in front of hundreds of faceless men...and women.
The check from YouCam was delivered earlier during the day, and since I arrived home before Kate – thankfully – and got the mail, I had time to cash it. It was just over a thousand dollars, most of which came from GREY. My mind was blown at the amount of money I had in my hands for such a short time.
I couldn't help myself once I cashed it. Wal-mart was calling my namely seductively – and it ended up leading me on an hour long journey through the food aisles. Sure I bought other stuff – cam related stuff. I bought underwear, and a few bras. Though, when I think about it, Wal-Mart may not be the best place to buy sex appeal.
"Sure you are, Ana," she smiled smugly, "I won't ask anymore. Clearly you're a girl who doesn't kiss and tell!"
Kate got up to help me put away the rest of the groceries, continuing to look me over the whole time. I rolled my eyes as I began prepping the potatoes. Suspect whatever you want, Kate. My lips are sealed.
While I mixed the seasonings and got dinner up and running, my mind replayed the private chat shared between Grey and I only a few nights ago. It was the first time I had been so...exposed...
GREY: Now, Jessie, take off the lingerie.
I sat there petrified by the demand. It was bad enough that the lingerie was see-through, but now GREY wanted me to be completely naked. This was who "Jessie" was though. "Jessie" was a camgirl, and this was her livelihood. I couldn't be scared...especially after how much GREY had already given to me.
With trembling fingers I pulled along the straps of my bra. It was an attempt at being sexy, though failing miserably, but I sold it as best as I could. The straps fell smoothly down my arms, and I tried to conceal my nervous breaths. The air in the room felt several degrees colder once I exposed my chest, my nipples becoming hard instantly.
How embarrassing, Ana. It's a natural response, it's a natural thing. But this is SO embarrassing.
I wanted to vomit. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I began to remove the panties as seductively as I could – without looking like the plague had taken it's toll on me. I flicked the underwear at the computer screen, trying to tease him. This couldn't possibly get any worse for me.
The moment was undeniably awkward. The tension continued build and so did the knot in my stomach. With no response from GREY or any instructions on what to do next, I sat there like a deer caught in the headlights.
C'mon GREY, tell me something. Don't just let me sit here looking like an idiot.
My first time getting naked on camera and this is how it was going. What could he be doing? What if he is one of those awful people who takes photos, or records the whole show and sells them on other websites. Or worse...what if he does those things and just shares them...for free.
My nerves got the best of me and I quickly yanked the blanket over my exposed skin. I couldn't do this. Sure the money was unbelievable and I could use it for the tight situation I was in, but showing my body to a faceless stranger was out of the question.
My phone began to go off underneath the covers. In my panic, I had lost it in the sea of despair that was my bed. I felt patted around the sheets, trying to find it without my embarrassingly hard nipples getting another debut.
Finally, it slipped from the bed to floor. Great. I stretched my arm off the bed to pick it up, almost falling over myself. Clumsy Ana – that's what I should be called.
It was the texting app ringing. When I downloaded it I wasn't aware that calls could be made. Could it be GREY who was calling me?
I looked into the camera, watching myself on the screen – naked, afraid.
"Hello?" My voice was shaky, weak.
"Jessie," a soothing, silky voice answered, "why so nervous?"
Tingling. My skin was tingling.
"I...don't think I can do this, GREY. I'm sorry."
Silence. The faceless GREY was silent. Then, after another minute, he spoke.
"A cam-girl who is afraid to be seen. Tell me, what makes you so shy?" He kept his voice low, mesmerizing.
"It's just weird to have someone I don't know looking at my naked body. I thought I could do this. I need the money, I really do. But I can't bring myself to keep this up. I'm sorry, GREY."
The blue ring around the lens of my camera taunted me. He was still watching me, I was still broadcasting, we were still having a private chat.
"Take the blanket off, turn around, and bend over."
"Excuse me?"
"Come now, Jessie."
The monotonous tone he kept was calming. Though I was nervous and wanted to disobey him, I slowly began to do as he said. I turned around, my back facing the camera. He wanted me to bend over? Was he trying to figure out the inner workings of my as-
"Jessie." He said faintly.
"Yes, GREY?"
"What exactly do you need the money for again?"
That's right. I don't think I had ever admitted what exactly I needed money for in the first place. Then again, he seemed like money was no issue. He was probably some 50 year old man who was trying to be a sugar daddy to innocent college girls who were poor.
"My car is broken, and I need it fixed. Then my hours at my old job got cut. I'm not exactly in a position to pay for things by myself. That's why I'm here."
"Poor, Jessie." He didn't sound like a 50 year old man. That was a plus at least. "How much will it cost to fix your car?"
"Around 1200 they said. Plus I had bought a new computer before my hours got cut and needed to make the money back. Life hasn't been the kindest to me these past couple of months."
"I will send you the 1200 if you complete my request."
My mouth fell open in shock. GREY would just send me over a thousand dollars like it was no big deal? Was this guy serious?
"You're lying." I could hear a hint of anger in my voice. It's not that I was mad, I just didn't believe him.
"Do as I ask, and you can have the money. I haven't lied to you yet have I, A -" he cut himself short before he finished, "Hm, Jessie."
I felt my face burning up. GREY hadn't lied to me, and I desperately needed this money and wanted to believe him.
Setting the phone down, I slowly dropped the blanket and did as he said. I had never felt so ashamed in my life about something. Though I wanted to cry, the tears would not form. It's like the trauma this moment created had paralyzed my emotions and I became numb.
The longer I stayed in that position the less I cared. Money is money, Ana. You need the money. Jessie doesn't care who sees her. To Jessie, it's just work. Your body is your body and that's all it is. It's nothing new to this guy. Calm. Down.
"Good." I heard his voice on the other end after an eternity. "Turn back around."
Taking a deep breath and shoving the crippling guilt I felt into the recesses of my mind, I turned to face the camera once more. I grabbed the phone and sat there – silent.
"Jessie, open a Google Wallet."
"A what?" I asked flatly.
"A Google Wallet. It's safer to send you money there. You can transfer it directly to your bank account instead of waiting on a check."
"Oh," I snapped back to reality, "Let me look into it."
We would see just how serious GREY was. A man who could keep his word was not a man I expected to find on an adult website...well, like YouCam anyway.
To my surprise, GREY not only helped me set up an account but he transferred the money over immediately. It made me want to vomit for entirely different reasons than earlier.
"GREY, I...I don't know what to say. Thank you!" I held my hand over my mouth, shocked.
"I expect to see more of you, Jessie. Do not disappoint me."
He hung up the phone and logged off of YouCam. I couldn't move from my perch on my bed. Was my life really happening...LIKE THIS...? Who was GREY, and why was he so mysterious?
I finished fixing my plate of food. Since then GREY had quietly hung around my room, boosting my camscore and propelling me into the top 100 girls on the website. The next check I was going to be cut would be even more than this check, and to me that was crazy. I had gotten my car fixed, my laptop fund had been entirely replenished, and I was even holding my first raffle for my first ever...video. Of course, I was new to the whole scene still. I didn't know what kind of content my viewers wanted. Thankfully an experienced cam-girl from Texas was teaching me the ins-and-outs of the business.
She suggested I let my regulars decide, and that's where the idea for a raffle came in. GREY was in the lead, obviously. But he wasn't going out of his way to stay in the top. The raffle, however, was a genius marketing scheme.
Ashlie had briefed me over everything I needed to know about being a successful cam model. Tags to use, topic ideas, incentives for my tippers. I mean, I didn't plan on camming past saving the money I needed to get back on my feet – but everything was going so well and my nerves had finally died down. When Ashlie talked to me about camming she made so much of the lifestyle seem glamorous too.
No, Ana.
I would stop. I promised myself. But it couldn't hurt to make some money to save and put away for if I found myself in a situation this dire again.
Could it?
~Okay guys! I tried to make this chapter a little longer so you had something to read! I'm sorry again for sucking so much recently! Will post more soon! Thanks again for the nice messages and comments! -Haley.~