The first thing I saw when I opened the door was Elliot sitting on the edge of the bed, just like he did before. This time, however, he didn't seem as desperate as he was earlier. Some of the darkness had dissipated from his eyes. They seemed lighter blue now.

I immediately became self aware and wondered what he was thinking about the way I looked. The only way to wrap the blanket around me that made sense was like a sleeveless dress if I wanted to be able to use my hands. I had managed to make a knot to secure the fabric around me and make sure it wouldn't fall off, before I had pulled it up to the highest point possible - right underneath my armpits. Still, I was afraid that the knot would get loose and my chest, which was not so easy to hide, would pop out, so I had also placed on my shoulders the towel that I had used for my hair. If it was someone else, I wouldn't be so nervous, but Elliot wasn't like the others for me. He had been my dream, my secret love, for so long that it terrified me to think that the fantasy could suddenly become real someday soon.

The blanket that he used to cover himself was wrapped around his bottom half and only a part of his torso, up to his waist. His chest was exposed and I found myself making an effort not to stare, but my head felt heavy and all I could think of was laying it down on him and closing my eyes, protected between his strong arms.

"How was it?" he asked.

I stared at him in confusion. The thoughts about him disoriented me, I had no idea what he was talking about.

"The shower," the corners of his mouth curved up slightly.

His expression gave me the feeling that he knew what was going on in my head and it embarrassed me deeply. At least if I knew that he had similar thoughts about me…

"Amazing," I smiled back, hoping to disguise my embarrassment. "I missed being clean. And dry."

He nodded at me in understanding.

"So… how do you wanna do it?" he asked.

I stared at him again. "Do it?"

"Share the bed, I mean," he clarified himself again.

"Oh, uh…" I couldn't tell him that I wanted him to be close to me, to hold me. "There's not much to it. We did it last night… shared a bed. Or… wait, was it last night? I've lost my sense of time."

"Hmm… Seems like ages ago," he looked lost in thoughts for a moment. "Let's just hope that those awful dreams we had won't reoccur," he muttered.

I was definitely hoping that I wouldn't have to relive the very realistic dream that I had of him being dead. The thought of it gave me goosebumps.

"Alright, let's try and get a few hours of sleep," I couldn't wait to turn off the lights so I wouldn't have to face his gaze. He was looking at me in a way I didn't recognize. Not from him, anyway. From other men, sure, but it never made me feel like I could lose control. On the contrary, I had always felt like I had the power whenever a man looked at me like that. Elliot, however, was a different story. Or maybe it was all in my head, my wishful thinking. Maybe I just saw in his eyes what I wanted to see.

He stood up and walked to the far side of the bed, leaving me the side closer to where I was standing. I watched him as he lifted the blanket on the bed and slipped inside. He didn't seem as awkward as I felt. In fact, he seemed pretty comfortable with the situation, which annoyed me a little. I wanted him to be at least as embarrassed as I was. Instead, he just looked at me, waiting for me to follow him.

I approached my side of the bed and sat down with my back to him before I removed the wet towel from my shoulders and dropped it on the floor. I didn't dare to look at him, but I knew he was watching me, I could feel it.

Before I laid down, I turned off the lamp on the nightstand next to me, rendering the room dark. It was a relief to be able to hide myself in the blackness of the night, but I still found it hard to relax. Feeling safe was impossible in that place. If it wasn't for Elliot, I would be sitting with the lights on and my gun in my hand instead of trying to sleep with my gun in the nightstand drawer.

"Good night," he said wearily.

"Night," I muttered from my place at the edge of the bed. I didn't trust my ability to resist touching him if I got too close to him.

After some time, though, I had to turn on my other side because sleep wasn't coming. I heard Elliot move several times too, but neither of us managed to fall asleep. I could tell he was awake by his breathing, which wasn't the usual slow and deep of a sleeping person.

"Liv?" Elliot suddenly whispered. "You sleepin'?"

"No," I muttered, eyes still closed.

"I can't sleep," he said.

"Obviously."

Elliot didn't say anything after that and I opened my eyes to see what he was doing. My eyes were already accustomed to the dark, so the dim street light coming in through the window allowed me to see his face clearly enough to know that he was also lying on his side, looking at me.

"What's up?" I asked.

He didn't answer right away, but took his time to take a deep breath in and out.

"I know I said it after I came back to New York, but… I'm sorry for… everything."

I stared at him, wondering where this was coming from all of a sudden.

"I really am," he added when I remained quiet.

"I know," I whispered.

"I know I haven't been myself since I came back," he continued, as if a gate inside him had suddenly opened and all of his thoughts could finally find their way out. "But I want to change that. I wanna feel like myself again."

A memory from earlier popped in my head, and I recalled him telling me that he loved me when he wasn't sure if he would live or die. I had completely forgotten about it due to the unbelievably high level of stress we had been under and everything that had happened since, but now it echoed in my head and filled me with warmth that I didn't realize I was lacking.

"What do you need for that to happen?" I asked.

"I guess… I need to be more around people who know me from before… my kids," he sounded hesitant.

"Definitely," I reinforced him, knowing how important his children were for him. The hesitation in his voice was strange to me, however. It had always been clear that his family was the most important thing for him, so why the uncertainty?

"You," this time he was more decisive in his tone and it dawned on me that he was only hesitating because he needed more courage to mention me too. "You know me better than anyone."

"I don't know about that. Ten years is a long time," I had no intention to hurt him, but I needed to be honest. It made me sad to think that I might not know who he was now. He behaved in a way that I didn't recognize from him – staying away, keeping things from me. Most of the time, it was like we existed in different universes, but then I would look into his eyes and see his old self again. Scared, confused, but in there.

"No, it's true. These days I mostly feel like myself when I'm around you."

"Really?" It was weird to hear him say that, because he had been so distant. I felt like he wasn't himself at all. "I don't feel like you're your old self around me most of the time."

Elliot remained quiet and I wondered if my words had hurt him. I didn't want to cause him pain, but I knew that the truth was what he needed to hear in order to make a change.

"It's just because I can't find my way back in," he said eventually. "I don't know how to make it up to you and… it's an elephant in the room. I can't ignore it and behave like I never left."

"Ignoring something is never the only way to get over it," I wanted to be angry at him, but he sounded so lost and sad. Without anger, though, all I had left was raw pain, and it was hard to face.

"Tell me what to do," he said, almost begging.

I sighed. Why couldn't he figure it out on his own? It wasn't that complicated. "Start by actually being there," I paused, trying to think about how to phrase my wishes. Elliot waited silently for me to continue. "I've barely seen you since you came back to New York, you know," I added.

"Yeah, I know. We used to spend so much time together at work… I miss that," he admitted.

"You want to work together again?" The thought of it was disappointing. I didn't want to be his work partner again.

"No," he said so quickly and definitively. "Yes. I mean… It's nice to work with you from time to time, but I'm not going back to SVU and I know you'd never leave… but it would be nice to spend some time together again as… whatever it is we are now."

I smiled, even though I wasn't sure that he could see it. It was the first time that he expressed the will to be around me, and it made me feel like a teenager with a crush again.

"What would we do as… friends?" I gave it a definition that I myself wasn't interested in, but we couldn't just jump from nothing to romance. There were some big stains that we had to clean from the pages of our history before I could feel comfortable with the thought of it, and yet, all I could think of at the moment was cuddling in bed with him.

"I don't know… drink beer?"

I could hear in his voice that he was smiling. Him trying to be funny had a calming effect on me for some reason.

"Very creative," I teased him.

"We can do whatever you want," he sounded amused.

"No, no, drinking beer is fine. Maybe it'll help you with… things we need to talk about."

The atmosphere lost its lightness at once and I hated myself for causing it.

"I know we have a lot to talk about…" he said. I had a feeling that he was going to say more, but at that precise moment, the door that led to his room closed forcefully with a loud bang. We both jumped to an upright sitting position, wide eyed in the dark, staring at the source of the disturbance.

"Liv…" Elliot sounded terrified.

"Did you leave the window open in your room?" I asked, even though I knew the answer.

"I never touched it."

I reached out for the lamp on the nightstand with a shaking hand and reluctantly turned on the light. We looked around for a little longer, trying to figure out if we were alone or not. Nothing was moving or making any noise whatsoever, but the creepy feeling remained.

I looked at Elliot eventually and realized that he was already looking at me. It made me feel very self conscious about the way I looked. My hair was probably a mess and the blanket around me felt loose. I immediately sent my hand to pull it up and then regretted it, because it had caught his attention. For a moment, his gaze followed my hand, but then he pulled himself together and looked back into my eyes.

"What…" Elliot started. He looked so lost, so exhausted from everything.

"It must have been… it can't be happening here too, right? This is a normal motel in a normal town," I said hesitantly.

"I don't know, Liv, this place gave me a bad feeling from the second we arrived. Maybe we should go outside, wait for sunrise and find a way out."

I looked at my watch, which was still working, surprisingly. "Two hours or so until sunrise. Let's just wait here until then, instead of waiting outside, cold and wet. Who knows what's out there."

Elliot opened his mouth, I assumed to protest, but then he just let out air. "Let's just keep the light on," he said quietly.

He looked sad and I wanted to hug him so badly. "Okay," I said, even though I liked hiding in the dark. Having the light on was a smarter move anyway.

I laid back down on my side carefully, hoping the blanket would stay in its place. Elliot watched me for a moment before doing the same. We looked at each other silently, feeling too alert to close our eyes and try once more to fall asleep.

"Liv, can I…" he started, looking like he was struggling to find the rest of the question.

"What?"

"Don't take this the wrong way, but…"

My heart started pounding. We had a nice conversation before that damned door interrupted us, I didn't want him to ruin that.

"Can I come closer to you?" he finally asked. "I mean, I think it would be safer."

I was so relieved that I almost smiled, but I didn't want to embarrass him after practically admitting that he was scared. I knew it wasn't easy for him. Then again, the situation we were in was so bizarre that whatever seemed normal before, was no longer valid.

"Sure," I said.

Elliot stared at me, as if he needed a moment to digest my positive response. Then he moved toward me, looking like a big worm wrapped in his blanket. I couldn't entirely suppress the smile that was fighting its way to my lips at the sight of him, but he didn't seem bothered by it.

"You laughing at me?" he smiled too.

"I'm sorry, you just look like a giant worm in that ridiculous blanket," I placed my hand on my mouth to stop myself from laughing. My exhaustion wasn't helping.

"Oh, great," he finally settled down a few inches from me. "I look like a worm and you look like a Greek goddess."

His compliment caught me by surprise, dissipating my need to laugh but keeping a smile on my face. I took my hand off my mouth and placed it on his upper arm instead, gazing at him gratefully. He looked back at me in such a beautiful mix of hunger and saturation, of the physical and the emotional, that it caused my body instant heat waves. That look in his eyes was like a discovery for me, a new found land on whose trails I wanted to be lost forever. I had seen glimpses of it back in the day, but he would always look away when caught staring, so I was never able to explore it. Now he was looking at me with all that want and all that love in his eyes and I felt like I was drowning in them. The feeling was a little frightening, but I had no will to be saved.

As crazy as it might have been after everything that we had been through, and maybe because of it, I felt that we were a moment away from acting on our physical attraction and it terrified me. I wasn't ready, it wasn't the right place. There were still explanations that I needed to get from him before I would allow our relationship to morph into something else. Nevertheless, the option of starting with the physical part and only then talking things through, did appeal to me. I had been pining for him for so long…

"You look like a Greek worm," I broke the tension, but only barely. It was so thick that it was tangible.

Elliot looked deep into my eyes for a moment longer, his face all serious and flushed, but then he let go and smiled at my joke. I was grateful for how understanding he was with me, though I wasn't expecting anything else from him. I knew that he would give me all the time that I needed, but maybe that was a part of the issue and why he hadn't been in touch a lot since his return. Maybe he thought that I wasn't ready.

"I guess it's better than your average worm," he joked back.

I smiled. My eyes burned and felt heavy as lead. I had never been as tired as I was now, it was torture.

"Hey, why don't you close your eyes a little?" Elliot placed his hand on my waist. "I'll stay up and keep guard."

I was too tired to think anything about his hand placement, but when I thought back about it, it seemed cheeky of him to me, although I couldn't lie to myself and say that I didn't like having his hand on me as I was falling asleep. Maybe him being a little cheeky was exactly what we both needed.

"You should try to sleep too," I muttered wearily with my eyes already closed. It was the last thing I remembered before finally falling asleep.

When I woke up some time later, the room was dark again, even darker than before. It disappointed me. How long does it take for the goddamn sun to rise?

Elliot was completely silent next to me. It was as if he wasn't there, but I could see his outlines.

I sat up and something didn't feel right. I couldn't put my finger on it, but the vibe that I had was the same as the one I had in that hotel. Dorbridge the town was weird enough, but I hadn't yet felt like something paranormal was happening here. Until now. Something wasn't right. I brought my face close to Elliot's face, to hear if he was breathing, but I couldn't hear anything.

"Elliot?" my voice was shaking. He didn't respond. I turned to the nightstand and tried to turn the light on, but it didn't work. "Fuck," I knew it was a bad sign. I grabbed Elliot's shoulders and shook him, raising my voice to call his name louder this time, but nothing.

And then it hit me: this was a dream. It had to have been. Just like the one I had in that hotel room, when I thought Elliot was dead. That dream felt as real as this one, but neither of us was harmed, even though we had both dreamt of the other being dead and ourselves being knocked out by the hooded figure.

As soon as I thought of it, I suddenly became aware of the figure's presence in the room. It was standing not far from my side of the bed, making its low growling sound. The strangest feeling crept all over my skin like goosebumps, the feeling that I had somehow conjured it. At first, that thought seemed crazy to me, but the more I looked at it just standing there without doing anything, the more it seemed likely. What if I could make Elliot wake up the same way I had made that thing appear in the room?

I looked over at Elliot and concentrated on the thought of him being alive. I needed him to know how to wake up from this nightmare, because I had no idea. I felt trapped.

The growling to my left was becoming louder, but I didn't dare to check if the hooded figure was getting closer to me, or was just gearing up for the upcoming attack. I grabbed Elliot's shoulders again and started talking to him, commanding him to come back to me.

"Come on, this is my nightmare. I decide what happens in it. Open your eyes. Elliot. OPEN YOUR EYES." I brought my face close to his and used my captain voice when I added, "NOW."

The second I said it, Elliot's eyes opened wide and it startled me. I moved away from him, trying not to get too close to the edge of the bed, where the thing was waiting.

Elliot launched at me with a look of terror on his face.

"Elliot!" I yelled, trying to stop him from attacking me. He grabbed both my upper arms in response and pulled me up, dragging me with him to stand by his side of the bed. When we were both balanced on our feet, he almost slammed me against the wall before he stood right in front of me. Only then I understood what he had done. He was shielding me from the rest of the room, from the danger standing right in the middle of it.

He was protecting me and I had thought he was attacking me. I felt so stupid. Even in a nightmare he wouldn't hurt me, because he was a figure of my imagination, and my imagination was based on the real him.

"I'll distract him and you run to the other room," he said with his back to me.

"No way."

"Olivia…"

"Elliot, no. I made you wake up with the knowledge of how to leave this nightmare, so think!"

I looked over his shoulder and saw the hooded figure advancing slowly toward us. It almost seemed like it was hovering inches above the ground, which gave me the creeps.

"What is it, Elliot?" I asked nervously. "What's the way out?"

"The only way for you to wake up is… is to see its face," Elliot responded. I could tell he didn't like saying it, but he was certain of it.

"Are you insane?!" I asked angrily. "If I get close enough to see its face, it will attack me."

"I know, Liv, but it's the way out. You need to see its face before it gets a chance to attack you."

I watched the figure getting closer to us, thinking about what Elliot had said as horror washed over me. I was going to have to see its face. Somehow I knew that it meant facing my fears, and the thought of it terrified me.