Scars
Uma's POV
What have I done? All I know is that I had to get out of there, away from Levi and anyone else before I completely lost it. Being attacked on this day, just when I thought it was over, was enough to push me to my breaking point. I barely had time to process the attack, much less the fact that I just kicked Levi in the face and left him to deal with the aftermath. At this point, I didn't even know if I could go after the bastards who did this.
Still, I continued to tear through the woods, pushing through the mounting pain and anxiety. I know it was all in my head, but the scar over my heart felt like it was aching. The marred skin was nearly pulsating as my panting increased and I pressed my hand to it in a vain attempt to make it stop.
"Should we show her what we did to her mother?" A familiar voice suddenly rang out in my head, sending a bolt of fear straight through my heart.
"What are you, Sans, a pervert?" Came another voice. One of an older man, raspy, mature... one I'll never forget for as long as I live. His wickedly mocking smile and the sharp gleam of his bloody hunting knife flashed before my mind's eye, causing me to stumble to a stop. My frightened gaze darted around the darkened woods, making sure I was still alone. Silence. Don't think about it, I told myself, my racing heart making it near impossible to breathe. Just don't think about it. But everything came screaming back to me like a waking nightmare, and there was nowhere to hide from the demons in my head.
"Little girly, little girly, what are we going to do with you?" The older man sighed, adjusting his black fedora with an air of authority as he paced back and fourth through the dried, yellow leaves. The one called Sans tightened his arms around me as he watched his mentor at work. I shrunk into myself, petrified, as the young man laughed gleefully into my hair. I could hear the screams of terror coming from the village and smell the smoke tainting the air. They had run me down in the woods behind my house, which was engulfed in flames. Mother had told me to run. I did. Now she's dead, and I was at the mercy of her murderers.
"You see, Sans wants to fuck you bloody, but my plans for you are a bit different." The older man began to explain. His voice had a matured rasp to it that told me he'd seen the worst of the world. "I've been starving for the better half of a year now and so many nights spent going to bed hungry or being without food for days and knowing it's because of the work of other humans, got me thinking. Maybe the Titans aren't as dumb as they seem. Maybe they have a point, mindlessly eating all these people." He approached me then, regarding me with a look that seemed almost like pity. "You're too young to know, but humans are disgusting, fucked-up creatures. We eat one another just like the Titans do. We chew each other up and spit each other out, just to get a scrap more than what the other one has. So, what is so wrong with actually devouring one another?" He asked looking into my terror-filled eyes. There was madness there and I didn't dare answer him, instinctually knowing better. Throwing his arms out, he cried up into the yellowing trees with a challenging smile, "What's so wrong with actually doing it?"
Satisfied with the silence he heard in return, he fixed his eyes back on me. Reaching out, he gripped his fingers into the turf of my hair and swiftly yanked my head back, causing me to choke out a strained cry. This man who carried himself with such confidence and talked so calmly was about to rip me to pieces.
"I was saving this part for your daddy but that chicken shit's not here, so you'll have to be my pound of flesh. Now, let's see what little girls are made of."
Then I felt it, the cold sting of his knife placed over my heart. I kicked and screamed and struggled and cried but that did not stop him from cutting into me. My mother's blood mixed with mine, warm and oozing as it ran down my chest and into my shirt at he sliced into my skin not once but twice, creating a large V over my heart like a brand.
He pulled away then to get a look at his handy work. I was both relieved that he stopped and terrified knowing that he would soon start again.
"Look at her. Docile. Weak. Pathetic. It's like I've been telling you, people are just like pigs raised for slaughter. No survival instinct left and no fight in them. It's all been bred out, living caged behind these walls for so long. All that's left is just complacency and resignation. Little girly's going to roll over just like her mother. It's like she was born to be killed."
That's not true, I thought, hot tears streaming down my face. Hurt and anger and rage pooled with in me as I watched this self-serving bastard preach his twisted dogma. I wanted to live, my mother wanted to live. More than anything, I wanted these men to die. I wasn't going to give them another damn thing. Not one damn thing.
Fueled by my rage and determination, I began repeatedly slamming my heel into Sans's, shin. A feral cry tore from my throat as I hammered down on it, raking the skin with the side of my boot as I did. In a matter of seconds, the pain became too much and he let go of me. Quicker than I could even think it, I pulled out the pistol he had shoved down the front of his pants and pressed the barrel to his chest. I struggled to pull the trigger, having to use at least two fingers to do so, but when I did, there was a loud bang and a light spray of blood and he was on the ground unmoving. It was that simple.
Frightened out of my mind, I whipped around and attempted to aim the gun at the older man but he was right up on me. Feeling him knock my hands down, I saw the flash of his knife coming at me and I immediately squeezed the trigger once more, sending a bullet through his shin.
He stumbled back then, groaning out as he fell to the ground. Blood poured from the gaping hole in his leg, the wound still smoking from the hot lead. It looked like the bullet had shattered the bone, leaving him unable to stand. It took me a moment to realize it but I was the one in control now. The man knew the second that it happened. I could tell by the wry smile on his face.
"Life's funny isn't it?" He snorted sitting up and looking at me from his place on the ground. It was obvious he knew what I was going to do next and for some sick reason, it amused him. But I didn't care. I wanted to do this. It's what he deserved. As I pulled the trigger, delivering the bullet that would end his life, I didn't feel an ounce of fear. It was only afterwards when I was finally alone in those yellowing woods, surrounded by the maddening screams from my village, that I began to feel the walls closing in around me once more.
Holding in a cry, I dug my fingers into the dirt, making purchase, and began to knock the back of my head against the tree I now sat against, forcing these thoughts from my mind.
Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! STOP IT!
One final bang against the tree and I practically threw myself from off of the ground to my feet. Once I was up, everything began to clear up. Breathing easier, I brushed my hair out of my face and took a moment to get my bearings.
Suddenly, a garbled scream rang out in the distance and was suddenly cut short. Fuck... the men who attacked HQ were still out here and judging from the scream, they weren't too far away. Taking the gun from my belt, I quickly headed in the direction from where it came. It was then that I realized I wasn't so much jogging as I was limping. It was very slight but as the adrenaline from before slowly melted away, I began to realize I might have been more injured than I thought. I'm sure having run like a mad idiot through the woods didn't help either.
Using the last dregs of energy to my advantage, I swiftly made my way through the trees, shrouded by darkness as I silently toed over fallen branches and dried leaves. As I grew closer to where I thought I heard the scream, I tried to become more cautious by taking cover behind trees before I proceeded. Rounding a large pine, I tripped over something unexpected in my path. Falling over the mysterious lump, I whipped around to see what the hell it was. Sucking in a startled breath, I lurched backwards upon seeing the mutilated body that had been crudely propped up against the tree.
His throat had been slit and his face completely mutilated. Several parts of him were missing as well. However, I was able to identify him by his clothes. This was the man who shot at me. Whoever he was with had killed him. I stared into his empty eye sockets for a moment longer before turning away in disgust.
"Shit," I whispered to myself, unsure if I was scared or pissed off at this point. Whoever did this meant business. It was clearer now more than ever that this went a lot deeper than a robbery gone wrong. This was internal- someone was targeting the Survey Corps. I had to tell Levi immediately. Somehow, my urgency managed to lessen the sting of knowing Levi was going to cut me to ribbons once I got back.
Unable to lug the body on my own, I looked around, memorizing where in the training grounds I was so I could find this place again. There were two wooden Titans about 20ft apart from one another, one a 9m class and another a 7. Those would be my markers. Picking myself up, I began to make my way back to headquarters.
TITANTITANTITANTITANTITANTITANTITAN
Walking through the gate, I saw a figure standing in the doorway. It was Levi, his body silhouetted against the yellow lamplight, which cast a long shadow out onto the dirt of the courtyard. Had he been waiting for me? My heart gripped in my chest at the thought, but he had already seen me and I could not slow my approach. After kicking him in the face, I doubted he wanted to talk about anything civil.
As I reached the front steps, Levi finally spoke.
"Did you find them?" He asked, his arms crossed over his chest as he regarded me with a dull gaze. Apparently we weren't going to discuss the fact that I had attacked my commanding officer.
"Just one... they killed him."
Levi's expression remained unchanged. "Was he the one that shot at you?"
"Yes. They mutilated him… tore his face apart so we can't ID him." I explained, a gruesome image of someone taking a knife to his eyes flashing in my mind. My nails bit into the palms of my hands as I mentally shook it away.
Although Levi clearly found this information interesting, he seemed to let it be for now. Unsure of how to proceed, I slowly climbed the steps. The anticipation was unnerving as I continued to move towards him.
"You never told me what day it was." He said, making it sound as if I should have. Even after everything that happened today, I was still embarrassed that he had found out, and even a bit mad.
"Why didn't you?"
"Because, it doesn't matter," I murmured as I walked passed him, putting up a brave front.
Suddenly, I felt a hand on my wrist, stopping me mid step. There was a pregnant pause, causing my heart to catch in my throat.
"Uma…"
"I said it doesn't matter, I'm fine…" I insisted, trying to get him to let go so I could get to my room. I fixed my desperate gaze down the hall; unshed tears stinging my eyes as I refused to look at him. I was far from fine and we both knew it, but if I could just get out of there, I could at least save face. Then, he said the two words that completely shattered the last of my composure.
"I'm sorry." He murmured, his hold on my wrist softening.
My entire body stiffened in shock then a soft, pained gasp escaped me and I immediately pressed my hand to my lips. The hot tears I tried so desperately to hide now spilled over my eyes. Though it was obvious I was crying, I still couldn't bring myself to look at him.
"Thank you," I whispered.
He didn't say anything more, didn't ask any questions, just simply stood there with me in silence, his fingers still gently wrapped around my wrist.
AN: REVIEW FAVOR FOLLOW! Happy Black Friday everyone! I'm very excited to bring you the next chapter of 'Battle Cry'. I hope you enjoyed it :)