Fear Nothing

Uma's POV

It was cold inside the stone walls of HQ. Winter was on the horizon and with the dawn came the rain. I thought of the body out in the woods, worried that all the evidence would be washed away, but there was nothing that could be done about it.

The wetness trapped in the smoke from the fire and every time I left my room, I could smell it in the hall. I soon got used to it, though. It wasn't as if any of us were strangers to the smell of smoke.

Levi told me to get some rest and that he, Erwin, and myself would leave at first light to find the body. However, after everything that had happened, I knew I would not be able to go to sleep. It seemed that he hadn't planned on going to bed either because we ended up in the kitchen after I had pulled myself together and changed into a clean set of clothes.

Sitting across from one another at a small table used for prepping vegetables, we both nursed a cup of hot tea. Levi must have thought it would calm my nerves, not to mention, he probably needed something as well after this hellacious night. Neither of us spoke very much, instead we sat there, listening to the sound of the falling rain outside, content with each other's company.

I always liked the rain, even when things were at their worst, it had a calming effect on me. Most people say it washes all the dirt away and makes everything clean again. But I've never looked at a town after a rainstorm and thought it looked clean. Rain merely exposes all the dirt you never saw before and gives you a small glimpse of what really lies beneath the facades we see everyday… much like a glimpse into a persons soul. It's cathartic in a way. Even the night Levi had me run as punishment and I collapsed from exhaustion and the rain came, I could not hate it. Besides, without it, that stranger would never have brought me inside. The rain exposes many things… even a person's kindness.

"I'm sorry about your jaw, that was shitty of me," I finally spoke, looking up from my steaming cup. The thought had been weighing on me since we sat down. Trying to see if his face was bruised, my eyes were immediately captured by his. Those sharp gray hues sent a warm shiver racing through me.

"Don't worry about it." He murmured, looking away and finding a point on the floor to stare at instead.

I didn't so much mind this because it gave me a chance to really look at him. It was frustrating to admit, embarrassing even, but he was handsome. At least he was in my opinion. Of course you'd have to be able to get past his crude nature to see it.

Pulling my gaze from him, I touched my wrist then, the one he had taken hold of in the hall only a few hours earlier. I could still recall the warmth of his hand and the softness of his grip; how he had been kind to me when I least expected it.

"Thank you for helping me back there… and for not telling the Commander about what an ass I was."

Levi set down his cup, his hand lightly poised on the table's edge. He seemed tensely pensive, those shadowed eyes meeting mine before speaking. "When you're in a difficult situation, you can't make stupid decisions. You can make wrong ones, but not stupid ones. I saw how angry you were, and I've seen people with that look before. That's when they get hurt. And when they die. The only reason why I ordered you not to go after those bastards was to stop you from making a stupid decision like that."

Feeling the weight of his words, my heart thumped heavily in my chest as if someone were knocking against my ribs. I looked down into the blood orange liquid in my teacup, trying to escape those shadowed eyes before he could spot the emotions I knew were clearly written on my face. Although he was far from eloquent, I understood everything Levi was telling me. He was only trying to protect me tonight because on some level, he cared about what happened to me.

Before this, I couldn't imagine Levi giving a damn about me. Sure we weren't enemies, but we weren't exactly friends, either. How he could have grown attached to me even after all my bullshit, I don't know. Still, he would 't have said anything if he didn't mean it.

Then came the question that nearly threw me out of my chair: had I grown attached to him? Feeling threatened by the mere thought, I immediately threw up my emotional walls, rejecting it.

"You shouldn't try to help me. It's a waste of time." I told him, somehow managing to look him in the eye as I said this. "I make stupid decisions all the time and we both know I'm terrible at taking good advice. It's only a matter of time until I really fuck it up."

The silence I was met with after I had spoken was painful. Why did I jut say that? I inwardly berated myself. Why the hell did I always have to push people away? Inside, I could feel myself burning to take back my stupid words, but it was too late.

I could see Levi's brow furrow slightly on that unreadable face of his before he stood up from his seat. He stood there in front of me for a moment, his posture ridged, grim eyes firmly fixed on mine. Reaching into his pocket he pulled out a white handkerchief and set it on the table next to me.

"You still have blood in your hair," he told me, sounding more guarded than ever. "I'm going to go find Commander Erwin. It's almost dawn and we need to get moving."

With that he exited the kitchen, leaving me behind with two empty teacups and his handkerchief. I felt deathly cold watching him walk out of the room. A sinking feeling grew in the pit of my stomach as I stared at the open doorway. I felt like I had just betrayed myself. This is why you're alone, I thought bitterly. Levi was attempting to reach out to me and I had all but slapped his hand away. I doubted he'd ever make another attempt to do so again.

The irony in all of this was that I had unwittingly answered the question I was so afraid of earlier. Somehow, I had grown attached to Levi, despite our constant battles. Although, it didn't do me much good to realize that now, considering how I screwed up.

I looked down at the pristine white handkerchief he had left me before picking it up and unfolding it. There was no monogram or design on it, however it was immaculately clean and nicely pressed. It would be a shame to dirty it, especially considering the clean freak that it belonged to. Touching my fingers to my hairline just above my ear, I pulled away to find that I was indeed bleeding. The cut must have opened up sometime during our conversation.

"Damnit." I muttered under my breath as I pushed myself out of my chair.

I used a washcloth to clean myself, dabbing away the congealing blood that clung to the roots of my hair. Once I was done, I nicely folded Levi's handkerchief and put it in my pants pocket to later return to him. Maybe by that time I'll think of something better to say to him.

TITANTITANTITANTITANTITANTITANTITANTITANTITANTITAN

Commander Erwin and Levi walked down the hall to the front door of HQ, where I was waiting for them. The juxtaposition between the towering, fair-haired Commander and the short, brooding Captain would have looked almost comical if I hadn't known what kind of men they were. And there I was, dressed in my rain gear, stuck somewhere in the middle. I couldn't deny that I felt like somewhat of an object of curiosity. I knew my every move would be scrutinized because of my role in last night's disaster (regardless whether or not the Commander knew about my indiscretion) and because of the fact that I was Levi's new recruit. I hated being the center of attention. It was an uncomfortable, dangerous place to be. Now that I had the piercing eyes of the Commander on me, I knew I had to be on my best behavior.

"Commander," I greeted, pressing my fist to my heart in a firm salute. As his crystalline eyes met mine, I could feel it begin to beat faster from nervousness.

This man's reputation for his firm resolve and willingness to make sacrifice far preceded him. I knew exactly whom I was dealing with and perhaps that was the reason for my slight unease. The Commander and I were two very different people. The choices he made on the battlefield were ones I could never live with. That's not to say I thought his decisions were wrong, only that I myself could never make them.

"Uma Belova, Levi says you know where the body of the attacker is?" Erwin asked, cutting right to the chase.

"I do." I answered, decidedly sparse on the details. I wasn't exactly sure what Levi had told him and I didn't want to get caught in a lie.

"Can you lead us to it?" That serious expression of his was simply unwavering. He was very clean cut with his neatly combed hair and bolo tie.

"Yes, Sir," I nodded.

"Alright then, please lead the way," he said, motioning towards the door.

Turning from him, I met Levi's gaze briefly before raising the hood of my cloak over my head and stepping out into the rain. He seemed as stoic as ever, making me restless in turn. The sting of the winter air hit me and from there, I crossed the muddy courtyard and went in the direction of the training fields. The only thing indicating that anyone was following me was the occasional sound of a heavy footfall in a puddle- most likely Commander Erwin's.

I could feel Levi's handkerchief burning a hole in my pocket as I continued to trek through the icy rain. The water rolled over my green cloak like ducks feathers and every time I exhaled, could see my breath on the air. I was used to winters in the mountains, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't affected by the cold.

Once we reached the forest, the trees provided more shelter from the storm. The rain looked like beads of glass falling down through the pines, breaking on the dirt path. Feeling stifled by the hood of my cloak, I pushed it down off my head and let the droplets seep into my hair. Although I was getting wet, it felt better than having that hood slipping forwards all the time- I couldn't see with that damn thing on.

Taking in the fresh, earthy scent of the woods, I glanced through my bangs to look up at the trees. The training course looked very different from on the ground as opposed to in the air. It reminded me of how small we really were.

Having walked a mile or so in, we came upon the 9 and 7m class Titan targets I had marked out before.

"He should be around here," I told them, stopping and scanning the area. Things looked different in the daylight but it only took a moment of searching before I found him, still propped up against that large pine. He was completely soaked as I had feared and the rain had washed most of the blood away. Still, that didn't make the sight any less gruesome. In fact, it made what had been done to him much clearer to see. I hadn't noticed it before, having been distracted by his empty eye sockets and missing lips, but the killers had cut off his hands as well. His arms were tucked by his sides, somewhat concealing it, but it was obvious now that I saw him in the daylight.

"Is this what he looked like when you found him?" Erwin asked, approaching the body and kneeling down beside it to get a better look.

"Yes." I confirmed. "There was more blood at the time but the rain washed it away."

He nodded, reaching out and carefully peeling the man's soggy jacket open and searching his pockets. As expected, there was nothing on him to be taken as evidence.

"What do you think, Levi?" Said Erwin, wanting his opinion.

Levi stared dully at the body, his expression completely unreadable.

"It's a warning. They wanted us to see this." He said, sounding more than certain of this. "Looks like gang work."

"It certainly doesn't lack in brutality." Said the Commander. I wondered to myself whether that was a dark-humored joke or not. "The cut to the throat is what killed him. Whoever did this managed to do a very clean job. Their work with cutting off the hands, though, is a different story. They took some of the forearm on the left side, but only cut up to the wrist on the right."

Pointing it out to us, I saw that he was right. Oddly enough, it seemed to jog my memory about something I used to do when I was still at the orphanage.

"Well, they did it for a reason. It's not like they're amateurs." Levi mumbled, crouching down on the other side of the body to get a better look. I stayed where I was, some feet away.

The Open Arms Orphanage was a Wallist owned organization that beat their ideals into the children under their care. I wasn't there long, no more than a month, however I remembered my time there well. We had a daily schedule where one of the activities comprised of a test of Wallist doctrine that started right before our morning class. I would always write notes my hands in order to pass. Those who failed would get food withheld from them until they corrected themselves. The ones who weren't able to or refused to got worse.

Writing notes on my hands was convenient because with the right ink, it could easily be wiped away with a little saliva and a bit of rubbing. Plus didn't involve having to shuffle around noisy bits of paper that left behind tangible evidence. Sure, the method had its drawbacks, but it was one I was most comfortable using.

I was almost certain that this is what the attacker had done in order to get the information out of the Records Room. It wouldn't leave a paper trail and once he passed on the information to his superiors, he could simply wash away the evidence. It was too perfect. Unable to keep this information to myself I suddenly blurted out my thoughts.

"It's camouflage." I told them, suddenly causing the two men to look over at me from their position on the ground, making me suddenly feel self-conscious.

"What?" Asked Erwin, visibly curious.

His openness to hearing what I had to say eased the tension a bit. "The mutilation… it's camouflage."

"What were they trying to hide?"

"The fact that his hands are missing. He wrote down what he needed from the Records Room on his hands in order to pass on whatever information he got. That way he wouldn't have to remove any documents, making it impossible for us to figure out what they were after. Once he passed the information on to his superiors, he could easily wash away the evidence. If he was military, he would have to do so right away."

Erwin nodded pensively, thinking over what I had just told him. "How did you figure that out?" He asked, seeming impressed.

"I used to write notes on my hands in school." I told him, deciding to stick to the truth.

"So you cheated?" He asked with a hint of a smile on his face.

It wasn't the first time someone's called me that. My thoughts went back to what Oulo said during our fight training after I laid him flat on his ass.

"I was being innovative." I answered.

Erwin couldn't help but laugh at how diplomatic I was about my admission to it. Clearly interested, he posed another question to me.

"Why do you think they took more of the left arm than the right?"

Looking over at Levi, I saw him staring attentively at me as well. Apparently he also wanted to know what I was going to say. It somewhat boosted my confidence.

"Well, assuming he's right-handed, he probably wrote more information on his left arm by using his dominant hand. He may not have even written anything on the right. They could have cut it off as well to be consistent."

Erwin nodded in agreement. "That is a likely possibility," he said standing up. Levi soon followed him. "Well, there isn't much more we can do at the moment. I sent for Captain Hange to return from leave with a team to help her conduct a more thorough examination of the body."

We walked back through the woods to HQ in relative silence. Each of us consumed with our own thoughts. I think we all knew that this attack was only the beginning. There were much bigger things yet to come. If only we could find out what information was taken from the records room, we could anticipate their next move… whoever 'they' even were. Frankly, we were currently stumbling around in the dark with absolutely no leads.

Reaching the inner courtyard of HQ, Erwin excused himself from us, having to meet with General Pixis about the matter. By now I'm sure rumors have spread across every military branch about what happened. The higher-ups needed to discuss how to handle the situation both internally and with the public. It really was going to be a shitstorm by the end of the day.

I watched as the Commander swiftly made his way to the stables, his jaw fixed in determination. Somehow, I felt extremely glad I wasn't him at the moment. Then I turned to Levi who was stopped a few feet ahead, waiting for me.

"I've been thinking about something," I told him as I caught up.

"Yeah?" He asked, seeming less than interested in hearing what it was.

"The spy's leader didn't have to kill him."

"Would you prefer him alive and well?" Came Levi's dry sarcasm from beside me.

"That's not what I meant," I answered, suppressing a biting tone. " Killing him was unnecessary, not to mention a risk. It wasn't as if you or I saw his face, and he didn't fail in his mission. What he did seems excessive. So, what was the point in killing him?"

"Does there have to be a point? Maybe he did it because he enjoyed it."

I didn't say anything further after that, realizing that was a frighteningly real possibility. After all, I've known many men who have killed for fun. Sadly, people find entertainment in hurting other people. It's a part of humanity I will never understand. No doubt we will be hearing from the leader of this group in time. There was no doubt about that, especially if he was enjoying his work.

Before we reached the doors, I reached into my pocket and took out Levi's handkerchief.

"Here," I said holding out the white square of fabric to him. Levi's expression softened somewhat once he realized what it was. "Thank you for lending it to me."

"Tch, you didn't even use it." He said, brushing off my attempt at gratitude as he took it from me. I suppose I deserved that after my moment in the kitchen. What else should I have expected?

"Also… your promise." He said, fully expecting me to know what he meant.

"What?" I asked, completely caught off-guard.

"At the Wall, you said that you owed me your life. So, it matters whether or not you throw it away. Next time, don't rush in and do stupid things." He told me with an unforgettable edge of sternness. Uncrossing his arms, he walked through the doors of HQ, giving me no time for a rebuttal. Soon I realized this was his retort to what I had told him earlier about not caring what happens to me. Though it was oddly placed and long overdue, I found myself hiding a smile.

AN: REVIEW FAVOR FOLLOW! I want to thank you all for being so patient with me.

I hope this chapter was worth the wait. As a bonus, I created a stats score for Uma like the ones the books have for the other characters.

Battle Skill: 10/10

Decision Making/Ability to Take Action: 11/10

Mobility: 10/10

Strategy: 7/10

Teamwork: 3/10

Special Stat:

Ability to Improvise/Adapt: 11/10

Peer Rating:

Levi: 9/10 (in Levi's eyes, everyone has room for improvement)

Franc: 11/10

Erwin: Undecided