"Aw, Puddin', they're so cute!" Harley squealed as she eyed the three boys.
Jason glared up at her with the most ferocious frown a eight-year-old can manage while making sure that Tim is safely tucked behind him. Tim had a tight grip on the back of his shirt. Jason knew Tim wasn't a coward, but the Joker and Harley Quinn were what Dick liked the call Top Tier Batman villains. Worst of the worst and all that. There were a lot of adults who were terrified of these two, so Jason wasn't going to fault a six-year-old suburban kid for being so too. Hell, if Jason were honest, he was scared of them, but he was never, ever going to admit that.
The only one who wasn't disturbed by the whole thing was Damian. He just sat at Jason's feet and glared up at the crazy lady and her demented clown boyfriend. Jason couldn't understand how a toddler could look completely unimpressed by a supervillain, so he just chalked it up to Damian being B's kid.
Speaking of B, he was probably going absolutely nuts right about now. Well, as nuts as someone like B could go, anyway. Jason didn't know a whole lot of what went on in the batcave since he and Tim and Damian were pretty much banned from the place (something about weapons and chemicals and big freaking holes in the ground not being "safe for young children, Master Bruce"). The few times that he was actually allowed down there, Jason had seen Bruce frowning at the computer a lot. Jason imagined that he was doing a lot of that. Well, that, or doing actual Batman stuff that Jason hoped, hoped, hoped would get Bruce here fast.
Leaning forward to place herself at eye level with Jason, Harley tilted her head to the side like a bird who had spotted its reflection in a mirror. There was something vacant in those eyes that made Jason shudder and pull Tim a little further behind him. If he could scoot Damian behind him using his feet, he would, but the little brat would probably just bite him if he tried. It wouldn't be the first time.
The smile slipped from Harley's face as she turned back to the Joker. "But I thought Wayne had four of 'em."
"Yes, well, apparently the oldest one gave old Chuckie here the slip," the Joker said as he kicked at the foot of his now dead henchmen. "Really, you just can't intimidate good help these days."
Tim whimpered softly behind Jason and buried part of his face into the back of his shirt. It was probably the first time Tim had ever seen a real dead body, and it was fresh. The blood on the floor was still red and wet, and Jason felt a little sick himself just looking at it. He was just glad that the Joker hadn't killed the guy before Harley had brought them to him. Watching that would have been...bad.
With a shrug, Joker said, "Still, three out of four isn't bad, I suppose."
"Especially when they're each worth a couple of million," one of the henchmen added.
A frown pulled at the corners of Jason's lips. Who would pay a couple of million for him?
Tim he could see. He was rich kid even before Bruce decided to take him in while the Drakes were gone. Someday, Tim was going to running his parents business, so yeah, he was definitely worth a couple of million easy.
Damian, too. He was Bruce's son, his real son – not a stray like him. Millions didn't cover how much this kid was worth.
But Jason? Bruce liked him, sure. Gave a place to live after his mom died and everything, but Jason was sure that he didn't like him that much.
Didn't matter anyway. Batman would find them just like he always did when stuff like this happened. He'd take them home and probably not let them out for the next decade or so, but they'd be fine. They just had to hold tight until then.
"Yeah," Harley agreed before she bit down onto her lip. "But...I've been thinking. What if we keep one. They're so cute, and Wayne's got four. It's not like he'd miss just one."
Something hard and angry flashed through the Joker's face as he turned a tight, mean smile towards Harley. For a minute, Jason thought for sure that he was going to hit. By the way her smile flinched and was waving her hands in the air in front of her like she was just kidding, she must have thought so, too. However, that anger was gone just a quick as it came on.
"You know, Harl, you might be onto something," he said.
Her eyes widened. "Really?"
"Well, we're not getting any younger," he said, "and it seems all our friends are starting families, too. Why, just the other day, I heard that Bats has been seen running around with a little batbrat of his own in the past few months."
Jason didn't try to keep the frown off his face. He knew that Bruce was training Dick, but he didn't think that he'd taken him out except for that one time that Jason knew about. How had the Joker heard about that?
Not paying attention to Jason, Joker leaned down towards Damian and said, "Maybe it's time we start thinking about making a little Joker Junior of our own so Bat's kid will have someone to play with."
Jason started to go for the kid when the Joker reached out to Damian like he was about to scratch under his chin like Damian was some sort of cat. However, when he was just inches away, Damian snapped at him. The Joker was just able to save his finger and cradled it close to his chest as if Damian had actually managed to get him.
"Not the baby, though," Joker said as he glared down at him. "I don't think its had its shots."
Harley squeal, again, and turned back to Jason and Tim.
"Oh, who wants to help Mamma punish baby?" she asked as she leaned in close to Jason.
"Lady, you're batshit insane," Jason replied.
"Oooh," the Joker giggled. "I like this one. He's got moxie."
Pushing Harley out of the way, he leaned in close to Jason and looked him over. Jason glared back at him. Whatever the Joker saw, he must have liked because he grinned back at him.
"Ooo, defiant, aren't we," he laughed. "I really like that. But, if you're going to be in this family, young man, you're going to have to learn your lesson just like I learned from my own dearly departed mother."
Before Jason could react, the Joker grabbed him by the front of his shirt and pulled him so close that their noses were almost touching. Jason struggled in his grasp but was trying not to do it too much since Damian was still somewhat awkwardly set between them. He could feel the kid moving out of the way as Jason tried to keep his balance now that the Joker had pulled him up to where he was almost standing on his tiptoes.
From behind him, Jason heard Tim give a little cry, but Harley must have grabbed him because he didn't try to pull Jason back.
The Joker's voice dropped a few octaves as his smile turned sinister, and he said, "Never sass your mother."
Jason's eyes widened. Tim was yelling now, but Jason could barely hear him over the sound of blood rushing through his ears as he stared at the Joker as he chuckled darkly. He struggled but knew it wouldn't do him any good. Whatever was about to happen, it was going to be bad.
An iron grip locked onto Jason's arm when something began to hiss at their feet. A thick cloud of smoke quickly filled the air in seconds, but not before Jason saw mad delight fill the Joker's eyes. Just as the smoke started to choke him, the Joker turned Jason around so that his back was against his front. One hand was still firmly held Jason's arm, but the other one was now wrapped around his throat. The pressure it caused was uncomfortable, and he tried to break free from the grip; but the Joker wasn't about to let him go.
Things were moving in the smoke. It wasn't near clear enough for him to see exactly what it was, but it also wasn't silent enough that he couldn't follow what was happening. He could hear the flapping of a cap, and a fist connecting with a jaw, and the surprised cries of henchmen not knowing what hit them before they were out. Harley's shirk was the loudest and closest, which caused the Joker to lift Jason and pin him completely against his chest with one arm.
"Let go!" Jason demanded as he kicked about uselessly.
The Jokers fingers tightened threateningly under Jason's jaw. "Hold still now, junior."
"Let him go, Joker."
A giggled echoed in Jason's ear, but he hardly heard it. He was too busy trying to see any sign of Batman, but the smoke was still too thick. Tim and Damian were lost somewhere in there, but Jason didn't doubt that B had already gotten them somewhere safe. Jason didn't know why, but he didn't think Bruce would risk coming after him and Joker unless he knew the other two were safe first.
"Oh, I don't think so, Batsy," he replied. "You see, Junior and I were just getting to know one another and –"
"Now, Joker," Batman ordered darkly.
"But where would be the fun in that?" Joker asked. Jason could hear the smile as he added, "Besides, the boy still needs to learn his lesson."
Things happened fast after that. So fast that, even if it wasn't all fuzzy, Jason wouldn't really remember what happened. What he did remember was the Joker laughing before something hit him from the opposite side where Bruce had been yelling at them from. His grip was still tight on Jason, but he managed to fall somewhat away from him. He remembered twisting and pulling and then a horrible snap followed by a sharp pain racing up his arm.
"Ooo, that sounded like the radius," the Joker laughed. "Care to go for the matching ulna, too?"
There was more laughing. Jason remembered seeing a flash of cape, and the Joker throwing him haphazardly to the side. He should have been safe then, since getting away from a psychopathic killer was always a good place to be. It should have been a lucky break.
But Jason's luck always sucked.
His head collided with a low lying bar, and it felt like the entire world had been knocked out from under him. It didn't help that when he hit the floor, the back of his head bounced off the floor with a loud thud.
Everything was going dark fast then. He remembered wondering why but not really caring.
A figure appeared over him just before he completely lost consciousness. Dick was staring down at him in that stupid costume, and even though Jason could see his eyes, he knew that they had to be wide behind the mask. The idiot was yelling something, but Jason couldn't hear him.
"You're a bad shot," Jason slurred before closing his eyes because he was really, really tired.
He didn't remember anything after that.
AN: Sorry this took so long. This is the first time I've written the Joker, so I hope it turned out okay.