Woop.

Pausing mid-sentence on his article about LexCorp latest charity event, Clark glanced over at his phone at the sound of incoming text message. He expected it to be another message from Lois, who had spent most of the afternoon trying to run down a lead and having little luck. Clark had known Lois for some time and knew that if she wanted to find it, she was perfectly capable of doing so on her own. He also knew that she often got frustrated and needed to vent from time to time. His job in all this was too listen, so that was what he did. She was vented; he listened – or read, in this particular case. Therefore he wasn't surprised to hear his phone chime to life.

He was surprised to see that it was a video and most certainly not from Lois.

Frowning, Clark picked it up and read the attached message from an unknown number.

Kryptonite.

Normally, something like that would have caused a sinking feeling which would be followed by panic, but he recognized the person in the video still. Bruce was standing in front of what looked to be the vanity of a very nice bathroom, and was holding Damian. The two-year-old had his arms crossed and mirrored Bruce's scowl. It was kind of scary that a kid that young could imitate his father that well. Cute, but scary.

The combination of the text and the video of a Bruce and Damian alleviated Clark's worry. There were only three, very short people who could have done this, and Clark was pretty sure that whatever he was about to see would be well worth Batglare he would get later one – because there was absolutely no way these kids didn't get caught. They were getting good, but not that good.

God help Bruce Wayne when they were.

He pressed play, which started the video in mid-conversation between father and son.

"...to do, Damian," Bruce said.

"No," Damian replied. "Song."

If he didn't have his arms full, Clark knew Bruce would be pinching his nose. He did often enough when he had to deal with Hal and Oliver.

He said, "Damian."

"Song!"

Bruce wasn't the type to roll his eyes, and Clark wouldn't call what he was doing that anyway. It was more of looking to heaven for strength than petulant teenager told to go clean their room.

Kneeling down, Bruce placed Damian on the floor next to a training toilet. Clark remembered Dick saying something about potty training the last time they spoke – during the "Epidemic", as the boys had taken to calling it. Things had been going well from what Dick had said, but he hadn't said anything about having to sing.

Clark expected Bruce to deny Damian again. He expected Bruce to insist that Damian act like a good little solider and do what needs to be done. He expected Bruce to wait the kid out.

He did not expect Bruce, the Dark Knight and ever feared Batman, to start to sing the Elmo Potty Time song.

For two painfully long minutes.

Before he was finished, however, the camera phone moved. Bruce stopped mid-word and turned towards it. There was an "Oh, shit" and then the video stopped.

Clark stared at his phone, stuck in that odd place between shock and amusement. He pressed his lips together tightly and tried not to repeat what he just saw in his head again. It was hard, though, considering how...unique Bruce's singing was. That was something that was going to haunt him for years to come.

Another wooping pulled Clark out of his thoughts. The video was gone from his phone. That was no surprised. Judging by the curse at the end, Bruce must have caught Jason. It wouldn't take anytime for him to find out who Jason had sent it to, nor for him to retrieve it off Clark's phone. With both of that done, all that was left was –

I can trust your discretion on this matter, I hope.

Clark smiled to himself.

Of course, he texted back. How long is Jason grounded for?

There was a moment before the reply came.

Long enough.

This time, Clark did laugh.

Go easy on him, he replied. He's just a kid.

Besides, Bruce, you should really just learn to let it go. Just go with the flow. You can do it, I know.

If Bruce had heat vision, Clark was pretty sure that he'd be a smoldering pile of ash at the next JL meeting next week. As it were, he could feel the full on Batglare that Bruce was leveling at Jason's phone right about now.

Really, Bruce should be glade that Jason sent it to him. Clark really didn't want to think of the civil war that would have happened if Hal would have gotten hold of it.

AN: Just a super silly short. Someone asked for potty training and, well, this came about. Hope it wasn't too bad.