I'm back at my place of comfort again - the Garden of the Sun. Every day is just as the one before it, spent in the embrace of lovely blossoms.

I've made a recent acquisition, though. The new beauties are the belladonna. A lovely flower, I'd say; it's pitifully misunderstood. Yes, yes, it is deadly poisonous, but everything presents danger in one way or another. I'm far more threatening than a little flower, or so I hope.

But even this isn't enough of a distraction.

My thoughts always return to the events of yesterday, with Alice.

In the heat of the moment, I was quick to blame her for the southward direction of the conversation. To say it was her fault, to lash out at her. But that wasn't justified. I was childish, almost, I refused to believe I might have caused a problem, because I was so absorbed with myself.

Alice was right. That was really the heart of it, wasn't it? I'm no philanthropist. I don't go around, helping people through their problems. I'm Yuuka, the terrifying Flower Master of Four Seasons with a penchant for destructive magic. I don't try to make people feel better, it's contrary to who I've always been.

I rue it. If I felt regret yesterday, it is tenfold today at the least.

I see myself in Alice. She's strong, graceful, and from what I can gather, isolationist. She has a passion for dolls just as I have mine for flowers. And I insulted her hobby! What would I do if someone came into the Garden of the Sun and laughed at me for enjoying flowers too much?

I would obliterate them on the spot.

It makes me realize the sheer self-control Alice must have felt in that moment. She had every right to force me out, looking back on it. I was imposing on her, mocking her. I was not behaving well. But she handled it better than I ever could.

What kind of person am I? Nobody with respect for others does that, thinks that. That's not a normal thing to do.

Maybe the villagers have it right after all. Maybe I am a monster. A refined, flower-loving monster.

I don't feel like doing much today. I would be tending to the grounds, but I can't bring myself to.

Something is wrong, wrong, wrong. I don't want to work with the flowers. What is wrong with me?

I really did hurt Alice, and I was so smug about it.

I've been alone for so long, I guess I forgot about others. All the time I spent with the flowers… is time I didn't spend with people. If only I'd done a little more of that, if only I'd been a little more social, I would have known what to do yesterday.

I might even be friends with Alice, like I am with Reimu. What would that bring me to? Three people, if I count Marisa?

For the first time, I question the flowers. Are they a negative influence? A distraction, so I don't have to care about real, actual people?

I've never felt so out of control, so worried. And why? It's just one person.

But I genuinely tried, and failed.

I'm sitting under the shade of a tree, not really thinking about anything anymore. I'm just looking at the world. I just need some time to myself, and by tomorrow, I'll be fine. I'll be back to my usual self, and I can put yesterday behind me.

The world has other plans, though.

I see a girl in black and white riding a broom land in front of me. It's Marisa, gigantic hat and all.

Well, not really. Her usual big, goofy grin is gone. Her face is somewhere between a frown and a scowl. She looks genuinely angry.

She wastes no time. "What did you say to Alice?"

I don't say anything, just continuing to gaze off, now at the sunflowers.

"Did you hear me? I said, what did you say to Alice?!"

I bring myself to look at her. "I didn't say anything good. I was rude."

"No. I'm rude, and she doesn't get like that with me. She's different today, and said it was you. She's off, and I don't like it. So what did you actually do?"

"...I brought up memories of Makai. Then, when I went to apologize later, I laughed at her for her dolls. And I feel terrible for it."

Marisa sighs. "That's the one thing she hates talking about. Anything else, and she'll act all indifferent. But you bring up Makai? Then she's got a problem."

I look down at the grass beneath me. It flows in the wind, like cherry petals in the spring, the air sweeping through.

"You know why I came here, right? I was thinking I was gonna hafta fight ya. I figured you wouldn't be sorry. But it seems like you are."

A petal from the Garden lands on my dress. Belladonna.

"Even so, I'm not just gonna let it go. Alice is my best friend. You make problems with her, serious problems, and you deal with me too. So, just this once, I'm gonna dispense Alice's justice."

I understand where she's coming from. It doesn't really seem necessary, but it is Marisa's way. I just don't really feel like fighting. But Marisa would at least want me to at least put up a fight, so she can hold it over my head that she won, or brag to others. I have no choice but to humor her.

"Alright, this is for her!"

"Marisa… would you consider me a friend?"

"Wuzzat? Umm… I'd say so, yeah."

"So it's two people. Alright, let's begin, then."

Marisa gives me an odd look before backing up.

"Three cards! Whoever gets hit three times first loses!"

I nod to confirm. Let's get this over with.

I land on the ground after a short time.

"That was easy! Maybe I'm tougher than ya now!" Marisa has a cocky look on her face. I can't say I blame her. I told myself I would just subtly throw the match, but I got intense anyways. It's better to enjoy yourself than wallow in self-pity, I realize. She clearly felt the same way. She was acting uncharacteristically serious beforehand, but now she has that idiotic smirk on again. The fight really brought us both back to normal, as we both took it seriously.

She still crushed me. I didn't even get a chance to use my second Spell Card; I must be out of practice. But it took my mind off of what I was thinking about before.

"Marisa… thanks for the fight. But I have a request of you. Alice won't want to see me, and she won't listen to me, not anymore; not that I blame her. But she will hear you out. Please, let her know. I really am sorry."

"Alright, alright, I will. Something's up with you today, Yuuka. I feel like the battle was almost invalid 'cause of that, but it was still a great fight. We should square off again!"

I giggle. I really do feel better now. I'm a little upset that I lost, naturally, but in the face of how I felt earlier, I'm brighter than the sun above. I've finally got the motivation to do something. While it's too late to go to the village, I can tend to the flowers.

Of course, I haven't forgotten my thoughts from earlier. I really should spend more time interacting with others, to prevent anything unfortunate from happening again. Using flowers as an excuse to deprive myself of life… I'm doing myself a disservice. I'll start on that new idea tomorrow.

It's overcast today. Not my ideal conditions, but where there are clouds, there will be rain, and that's good for the Garden.

Even so, I'm going to go to the Village.

This time, though, it's not going to be the flower shop. It'll be different. I'll be approachable. I'll be open. They may not want to speak with me immediately, but I'll show that I'm changing. I just want to try interacting with people.

I make my way into the Village, and as per the usual, the crowds part as they notice who is approaching. I don't want to interrupt their conversations on the street, though, so the best place I can go is probably the village square, or the marketplace. The problem is, I've never had to go to either of those locations, so I'm not entirely sure how to get there.

Oh, well. There's no helping it. I suppose I'll have to ask for directions.

I approach a group of five young men, who are now cornered in a little nook. They're embroiled in an apparently intense discussion of who the loveliest woman in town is; that's what I gather, anyways.

"I'm telling you, man, it's gotta be Keine!"

"Ugh, you and those bookish types, huh, Hinata? Give me a break."

I know I need directions, but I can't help but get in a little teasing.

"Excuse me, gentlemen," I enter the conversation deftly, "where would I fit in on this list?"

They don't recognize my voice immediately, of course; I hardly ever use it on the streets. But as they turn to look at me, they realize who they're dealing with, and stare blankly.

"Well? I asked you all a question."

They look at each other, as if silently debating who would be forced to talk. It was the same "Hinata" that spoke up again.

"Ah, at the very top, of course! ...Where else?"

They look so uncomfortable, I can't help but laugh a little at the tension. They've realized, too late, that I'm intentionally blocking the exit to this little alley, keeping them locked into this conversation.

"Oh, really now? Little old me, the most attractive…? Besides, you said yourself Miss Kamishirasawa was the most attractive woman in the Village! Have you so fickle a heart to change your perceptions on a whim?"

There's an elongated pause as they try to form a coherent answer, which I take as a sign that I should stop teasing them.

"I kid. I really just wanted to ask the directions to the marketplace, is all. I don't ever go to that part of the Village, so I'm not sure how to get there from here, you see."

"Well, um, it'd be a left turn out of this alley, and then then it's straight until a, uhh… left again, at Suzunaan. Keep going straight that way and you'll find yourself there."

"Thank you, sirs. I'll be on my way now. Have a pleasant day!"

I sneak a glance at their dumbfounded faces as I leave the alley. They start looking at each other with a mix of awe and relief, like they all just escaped a life-threatening situation unscathed.

Well, that was enjoyable. Maybe I should interact with people more often after all. It may even be more fun because of my reputation.

I follow the directions I was given and make my way into an area that, sure enough, seems to be a marketplace. It's an opening that's full of little stalls, with vendors exchanging goods for money throughout the place. It's all a little new, but I came here knowing that I'd be doing something uncomfortable.

I look around the area. I don't know many people here in the Village, but if any of them are out and about, they're probably here.

Unfortunately, I don't recognize anyone, but I should have expected as much.

Those who notice me, as always, tend to disperse, unless they have some form of important business to attend to. I never used to mind it, but it's dawning on me that maybe my mere presence shouldn't drive people away.

That's what I want. But I can't just give up my reputation, either. We youkai feed off human fear; it drives us, and ignoring that is tantamount to rejecting what makes us ourselves. I want to have people like me; the events of the past few days has revealed me that urge. However, if that comes to fruition, then the fear people have of me will diminish.

It's a completely unnatural course for a mighty youkai like myself, and everyone who knows anything about me knows I embrace everything related to nature. That's why I can't help this feeling of dread. My heart and my soul tell me that this is something I want, but my mind and its input cannot be so wholly ignored.

For that reason, I just stand in the center of the marketplace, watching the people around me. I'm here to meet them, talk to them, but the conflict within me won't allow action until it is resolved.

I sigh and look up at the monochrome sky above, looking as a craggy cliff with the ominous grey clouds drifting to the east.

The crowd starts to disperse, and not because of me. Now, it's the loud boom of thunder that is the culprit.

I continue to stand silently in the marketplace until there are only a few people around. Rain begins to fall around me, and yet still I stand. As the last one scampers off for shelter, I look up to the sky above and sigh.

"So much for being a social butterfly," I mutter to myself dejectedly. I make my way to the edges of the marketplace, languishing in my sudden regret for my inaction.

I stop when I hear a voice behind me.

"You're an odd visitor, that's for sure."

I turn around to meet a figure in the rain, quite some distance away. I can barely hear their voice over the pattering of rain on the road beneath me. However, as I get a better look at their face, I can tell it's one I've seen in passing before, usually hidden away among the shadows.

They have a distinct red hue to their hair, and wear a similarly colored capelet that obscures their entire neck and mouth with its collar.

"I've seen you before, and I'm sure you've seen me, even if you don't recall. Everyone in the village has at least heard of you. Yuuka Kazami, the Flower Master of Four Seasons, terrifying and cold, perhaps even sadistic."

"Who are you, human?"

"Ohoho, so forward! I heard you mumbling something just now about 'being a social butterfly'. If you really want to make yourself more like that, you'll want to drop the cold disposition."

This person isn't scared of me? Or perhaps they are masking it. But why would they strike up conversation in the first place, then?

"Let me tell you something. If you really want to be more outgoing, you're going to have to change who you are as a person. I'm speaking from experience here - I've been in your shoes. I may not be an all-powerful youkai like you are, but I've been there. A recluse, who finds themselves with a desire to integrate with society to some higher extent. You want to know how that ended? I've returned to the way I've always been, because I couldn't bring myself to wholly alter my persona, my entire character. It's much easier to blend in, as far as I'm concerned."

"That isn't an option for me. I already have such a reputation that I will stick out, one way or another."

"So you do. My point still stands, though. I tried to make my presence more known, in many respects, but I couldn't do it. It is simply the opposite for you; you want to stand out less, am I right?"

"Well, you could put it that way, I suppose."

"Then you have to change your personality, your perspective, your whole being. It'll be daunting for you if you decide to continue, and it was too much for me. Call me cynical - I might call myself that, honestly - but I think it takes someone really special to do that sort of thing. And to be frank, from what I've heard about you, I don't think you've got what it takes either."

I grip my parasol tighter. Who is this human girl, to presume to know anything about me?

"Oh, really? Watch me. I'll do what you apparently couldn't."

The red-haired girl laughs in response. "Alright, alright, you're stubborn. That'll help, at least."

Odd, but I don't dwell on it. I face the path I took on the way here again and call out after the girl I now am turned away from.

"I never did get your name."

There's a pause before I get a response. "I guess it's only fair to tell, isn't it? Which is why I won't. I don't really believe in fairness, after all. If that sort of justice really existed, I wouldn't have to pretend I was human, after all. Farewell, Yuuka Kazami."

Not human? ...I suppose it makes sense, she wasn't very scared of me. Was she a youkai? A ghost? Perhaps even a god? It's hard to tell, she does a good job obscuring it.

Regardless of species, I mull over the words of the girl in my head. She takes the stance of my mind, back in the square. Is it really worth it?

My heart wants me to believe so.

I want to listen to the logic in my mind, but sometimes, I start to think, you just have to have faith in your heart.

I have come to a final decision, now. There will be no faltering, now. I will have faith in myself, now.

Now is the beginning of the future, a future that I will make distinct from the past. It will be a place I want to be at. That future will be one where I am not something to hide from, and I will make it so.