Chapter 6: A Life Worth Living

(Alternatively, It's Time to Get Up and Get On)

Author's Notes: Okay, so Chapter 5 both did and didn't go where I wanted it to. I get to Hiruzen and HE DECIDES TO STEAL MY PLOT! The turd… Shikaku was supposed to meet with him about Naruto and Hiruzen was like 'Nope, I want to talk about your boy'. Seriously, Hiruzen? Seriously? Urgh. Those two weren't supposed to meet until a bit later on and he certainly wasn't supposed to pick up on Shikamaru being as different as he is. When he was supposed to find out, though, it wasn't going to end with him essentially saying 'Yeah, there's something seriously wrong with you, kid, but everyone is a bit off in the head these days. Not to mention the fact that I think you're an okay guy so I think I'll keep you around'. So yeah...that happened. It's still happening in this chapter. -sighs- F-ing Hiruzen... Hopefully this won't change things too much later on.

(Hiruzen's POV)

Hiruzen watches as the boy's features crumple in anguish. He had not spoken untruly when he had said that he sees a great grief in the child. This is only further confirmation for him. "I know," the Kage tells him. "I felt the same way when my eldest son disappeared. Again, when my wife was taken from me. And yet again when my daughter-in-law passed away after giving birth to my only grandchild. Sometimes there is no way to protect the ones we love. Sometimes, all we can do is keep living. I think our lost loved ones would be most displeased if we dishonored them by not making the most of the lives we have now. Don't you agree?"

Hiruzen doesn't know who the boy used to be but it is clear to him, as tears start to run down this lost boy's face, that the young man has been pushing his grief down for a very long time. It is even clearer to him that the boy is remembering something. Something that has affected him deeply. He watches as Nara Shikamaru's takes in a slow and shaky breath. Then he breathes out a nearly silent word, "Yes."

The Sarutobi is certain that this answer is meant for more than just his question. It is an answer meant for someone long since passed. An answer that had, perhaps, never been given before it was too late. It is a sad thing and Hiruzen carefully stands so that he may sit down beside the boy who also isn't. He gently wraps his left arm around the child and tugs him to his side. Softly, he says, "I've been around for a long time, young man, and I've seen and experienced many things. Many of them bad, many of them heartbreaking but there is good in this world too. I see it every day as I look out over my village and I see the many people I consider to be my family going about their daily lives."

A tight noise comes from the boy as if he is holding in, holding back, then, "'You're a living person. Just like me. Just like all the others. You don't have to live this life as if you're all alone because you aren't. Not anymore. I'm here for you and I'll remind you as many times as I need to. This life you have...it's a life worth living. And that's what I want you to do. I want you to live. I want you to find the happiness I know is out there waiting for you. So, please...won't you try? For me?'

She told me that once, a long, long time ago but...it's hard. It's so hard to keep going but what choice do I have? Because, even now, I still have too much to live for. But it hurts to stay."The boy continues after a long pause, "I don't...I don't think I know how to live. Not-not the way she'd want me to."

Hiruzen hums thoughtfully, "I don't think many do know. I think that we just try the best we can. It's all we can do. But I will tell you this – Living may hurt, it may make it hard for you to want to stay but we cannot find true joy without having first known pain. We can never truly appreciate life until we have learned just how short it really it. You are hurting now and that is understandable but doesn't that hurt make what little joy you may find even more meaningful?

"Whoever she was, she seems like a very wise woman."

The little Nara curls against his side and says in a watery voice, "She wasn't just wise. She was the embodiment of everything that was, is, and will ever be good in the world. The kind of good that makes you believe that maybe, just maybe, there is a higher power out there that watches over us and that it cares enough to let angels walk amongst us. Because that's what she was, an angel in disguise walking with humans to try and make their lives even the slightest bit better."

"I see." And truly he does. He can see a wonderful woman holding out a helping hand and he can imagine what someone as lost as this child would feel when confronted by such kindness. He can feel a wet patch forming where the boy has pressed the side of his face to his chest and he hugs him just the slightest bit tighter. "Then doesn't it make it even more important for you to try to live? The way such a wonderful person asked you to?"

The boy lets out a quiet sob as he nods his head and Hiruzen sighs, "The ones we love are never truly gone, dear child. They live on in our hearts and memories. They pass on their Will of Fire to those closest to them when they die and we carry that Will alongside our own. One day there will come a time when we must both pass on our own Wills to those closest to us or perhaps even to the next generation. When that time comes we will live on in their hearts and, in that way, we will always be by their sides."

"You...you've mentioned that before, the Will of Fire," the child starts quietly. He pauses and swallows before continuing, "what does it mean?"

Hiruzen smiles. Finally, the question he has been waiting to hear. "It is what every Konoha shinobi possesses. The Will of Fire is the will to protect your family, your friends and your comrades. It is loving, believing in, cherishing, and wanting to protect this village. It is having the strength to continue fighting against all odds, regardless of injury or loss. The Will of Fire is many things, child. It has been defined in innumerable ways by countless shinobi and I'm certain you will find your own way of defining it as well."

The Nara heir is still and silent against his side for an extended amount of time. He simply leans against him and breathes. Hiruzen wonders if the boy is thinking over his words. Finally, "You think I have it? This Will of Fire?"

Hiruzen laughs somewhat joyously, unable to help himself because if there is one thing he knows it is the Will of Fire. "My dear boy, I know you do! I would have never mentioned it to you if you didn't have it."

He feels the boy pull away and looks down to see him staring up at him with a frown. His face is slightly wet and his eyes red but there are no more tears. "How? How do you know?"

"I told you earlier, my young friend. It is in your eyes for all the world to see, a determination like no other. It was in your eyes when you pushed little Naruto behind you. It was in your eyes when your mother left with him. It is still there for anyone to find if they only know how to look for it," he says with a fond smile. "A Will like yours is a sight to behold."

The child nods slowly, deliberately, as if he has come to a decision. "I know you said it's because of my Will that you aren't prying into my past but...what made you decide that my Will was a good thing?"

"The way you tried to protect Naruto," Hiruzen replies promptly. "You put yourself in front of him without any hesitation. Even if you weren't strong enough to stop me you would have done everything in your power to delay me for however long you could. That kind of behavior is the sort that veteran shinobi have when up against a stronger force or opponents. I have lost some of my best shinobi to it before because they chose to stay behind to give their teammates a fighting chance, whether that chance is to complete a mission or to escape from a situation that is beyond their ability to handle."

"Oh… And...you-you're okay with that?" The Nara looks his age now, young and confused.

"Undoubtedly so. However, I would much prefer that you don't get yourself into any bad situations anytime soon, agreed?" The Hokage says to the child with an authoritative look.

The boy nods, "I'll try. I can't promise it won't happen but I'll try."

Hiruzen nods, "That's all I can ask of you when it comes to that. However, I want you to promise me something."

"What kind of promise?"

"I want you to remember all the good times you had before and I want you to write them down. Then, when you finish, I want you to write down every good thing that has happened to you, every happy moment, every moment that you have felt grateful for in this life. I want you to continue to write, afterward, because there will be more moments, more memories. It will be a journal, of sorts, full of every moment that has ever brought you happiness and it will be something tangible that you can go back to every time life becomes difficult. Your otou-san can place a seal on the journal, or journals, if that is the case so that it will only open for you.

"Will you promise me that?"

Nara Shikamaru looks at him for a long moment, eyes are so very dark and unfathomable. Then he says, resolutely, "I promise."

Hiruzen sighs as he leans against a tree while staring up at the sky. Shikaku is beside him, a quiet and sedate presence. Finally, the Nara shifts. "So..."

"He is just as you suspect, Shikaku, and so much more besides. I would ask that you tread carefully. He is sorely wounded in heart and soul. Naruto, I think, is a balm to those wounds. Why I do not know nor will I ever ask. If he chooses to confide in you then that will be his choice."

"And if he does?"

"Do not try to break his trust. I have a feeling that you will never get it back if you act carelessly."

"Do you think this will cause problems later?"

"I think that only an idiot would provoke him to anger and, more likely than not, that anger will be used to protect. The only question is, who will be the idiot provoking him and what will he be protecting when said idiot eventually succeeds."

"Ah… Mendokuse..."

"Mm, quite. Shikaku."

"Hai?"

"Be good parents to that boy. He desperately needs you and Yoshino."

"You needn't have said anything. We would still try to do our best by him even without your input. Him being different doesn't change who he is or how we feel about him. He's our son, after all."

(Shikamaru's POV)

He's staring into nothing when his mother finds him. He feels more than sees, her sitting down beside him and he tilts abruptly to lean on her. A gentle hand caresses the top of his head before sliding through his unbound hair.

"I've always known that you were special," she says. Softly, she continues, "you're otou-san always worries when you stare off into the distance like this but I see it for what it is. You miss them, your family from before."

Shikamaru nods and rasps, "Yeah. It's hard not to when they were my everything. Now they're gone and I'll never see them again. I...I was adopted, you know. My brothers were my world and I would have done anything for them. My brother-in-law, he saved me and it was because of him that I met my sister."

"What was she like?"

"She was an angel… Okaa-san, I want to tell you a story."

"Then tell me."

"The Lifestream... That's what we call the river of life that circles our Planet, giving life to the world and everything in it. The Shinra Electric Power Company discovered a way to use the Lifestream as an energy source. Because of Shinra's energy we were able to live very comfortable lives but wasn't that because we were taking away from the Planet's life. A lot of people thought so.

Shinra used their power to try and stop anybody who got in their way. Shinra had a special group of warriors called SOLDIER and all of the SOLDIERs had JENOVA cells put inside them. JENOVA was a calamity that fell from the sky a long, long time ago and tried to destroy the Planet. Anyway, there was one SOLDIER who was better than the rest but when he found out about the terrible experiments that made him, he began to hate Shinra. And then, over time, he began to hate everything.

Shinra and the people against them. The SOLDIER, who hated the Planet so much he wanted to make it go away and the people who tried to stop him. There were a lot of battles. For every battle, there was more sadness. Someone I love went back to the Lifestream too.

And then, it came. The chosen day. In the end, the Planet itself had to make the battles stop for good. The Planet used the Lifestream as a weapon and when it burst out of the earth all the fighting, all the greed and sadness, everything was washed away. Sadness was the price to see it end."

Author's Notes # 2: Shikaku and Yoshino knowing about their son *sighs* yeah...It's a thing now. Freaking plot stealing Hokage. And yes, I did use the intro from Advent Children. Not quite word for word but close enough because Shikamaru isn't ready to name names just yet. Be it his own or others'.

Blarg...

Anyway, let me know what you think about plot stealer Hiruzen and his shenanigans.