Chapter IV

His eyelids felt so heavy. Looking down at his feet, he found himself on white sheets sprawled on a relatively soft bed. He smelled something delectable, like well-cooked and well-seasoned meat. His nostrils enlarged hungrily. Drool slowly dropped from his lips.

"Good morning, Pride," A too-sweet voice rang in his ears. By the door was a platinum-haired woman whose beauty far surpassed any regular human being. But all he felt from her was disgust from the very bottom of his heart. "I made you some food. As you can tell, my cooking is perfect."

Without muttering a word, he grabbed the plate and noticed the steak plastered on it. It made his stomach grumble, but his eyes moved to the metallic fork neatly wrapped in a napkin. He unfolded it and twisted it to his direction.

He aimed right at his own neck, and without hesitation, stabbed himself.

Or at least, that was what was supposed to happen. Right before the metal picks sliced into his throat, the bones in his fingers started to twist and turn. Pained, he dropped the fork on his lap. "Geh!"

"Now now, don't go thinking anything stupid, Archbishop. You're bound to me," She smiled, her words laced with poison, "You can't do anything I don't want you to do."

Clenching his teeth, he snarled, "You bi-" His jaw slacked, a sharp pain entered his throat. "GAH!"

"Watch your tongue, Pride."

He glared at her, but his mind crossed through several different options in how to escape his chains and kill her. If he did it once, he can do it again.

The Archbishop of Pride swore to it.

"So, go ahead and eat. We have a lot to talk about," She said, her smile unmoving and unnerving. Sighing, he grabbed his fork and began eating. Against his will, his pupils grew with surprise. It was absolutely delicious.

For a moment, he stood completely still. He didn't even breathe. As if receiving a creepy revelation, he slowly looked upwards to his captor, and a small smile creeped up in his face. The witch hadn't noticed as she fixed her hair elegantly and pridefully, believing herself to be the most beautiful woman in all of creation.

"Tell me something, Pandora," He noticed her pupils focused on him, "About Emilia. What is she doing now?"

"About that, I was actually going to tell you. They are going to attend one final meeting before the public finally decides on a ruler. Emilia is there with the other you, along with all the other candidates," She smiled wryly.

Other candidates? What the hell is that other me doing? "Candidates? They are still alive?"

"Of course. The other you made sure of it."

"What a half-assed way of doing things," He said, clicking his tongue in disgust, "If this continues, Emilia won't become the ruler. That needs to change."

Smiling, Pandora nodded. "I agree."

The Archbishop remembered the first time he met with the beautiful half-elf known as Emilia. Her silver hair flowed seamlessly in the wind. Her scent was filled with roses and daisies. He remembered Emilia's sweet smile as she saved him from the three thugs that attacked him.

She had such tsundere logic, and her appearance was exactly to his liking.

And yet he was powerless to protect her. Even though he should be the protagonist, he was so weak, too weak to stand by her side.

Why was he chosen to be sent to this parallel world? Why was he given Return by Death?

Even though he was weak and useless, he decided to achieve Emilia's dream and give her the throne on a silver platter. He was so close too! He was so close to achieving that dream!

But that damn Reinhard! He always got in Pride's way. No matter what he did, no matter what plans his half-adequate brain came up with, no matter how many times he reset, the God known as Reinhard was an indestructible and unmovable obstacle.

Pride clenched his teeth in anger, his jaw screeching from the amount of pressure he put. He will find a way to kill the hero, this time, permanently.

No matter how many times it takes, no matter how many sins he has to shoulder, Pride will surely reach his destination.

After all, he's not afraid of death.

[]

Stifled, Subaru stretched the collar on his knightly suit, clearly uncomfortable. A pair of amethyst eyes looked at him almost motherly. With a sweet-yet-scolding tone of voice, Emilia whispered, "Don't do that, Subaru. It'll stretch your outfit."

Trying his hardest not to blush, the Japanese boy glanced away, before muttering, "Ah, sorry. I'm just not comfortable wearing these tight clothes. It feels like my neck's gonna go PLATOOWIH like last time, y'know?" Slightly frowning, Subaru clenched his chest, but he forced back a smile.

"C'mon Subaru, enough talking nonsense. The ball's almost ready. Beatrice is surrounded by girls her age, Otto-kun is doing some business stuff, and everyone here is having a good time."

"I don't really get it though," He said, gritting his teeth as he desperately tried to ignore the overly-tight collar, "Why not just get this whole vote thing over with? It'll be quick, easy, and painless. This is why I hate graduations. Always so scruffy."

"But you're enjoying yourself, aren't you?" She smiled.

"…Yeah, I am. Totally!"

Subaru remembered the time when they were stuck inside Echidna's barrier. It forced the young sage to confront his weaknesses and insecurities head-on. His past was something he easily overcame, but it was the future, its uncertainty, and his power that destroyed his heart.

In the back of his mind, he feared Return by Death's true mechanism. Does it really send him back in time, or does it send him to an alternate, slightly younger timeline? Either way, what happened to the Subaru of that timeline? Does he disappear? Do they switch places?

And yet he continued to move forward. Even with all his insecurities, he made it his mission to stand beside Emilia. He will make her happy.

Can I? A worm of doubt slithered into the back of his throat. He wasn't just a knight or the third-generation sage. No, he was also the one closest to the Witch of Envy. The sage still vividly remembered the shadows that nearly consumed him. He saw memories from dozens of victims consumed by Satella's shadow. The influx of memories flowing into him nearly tore him apart.

So he did what he had to do.

He committed suicide. Even though…

Subaru was and still is deathly afraid of death.

"Subaru…" Emilia's amethyst eyes hovered over him, "You really are worried about something," She said, kindly. "Can you tell me what it is?"

"…." He hesitated in front of her. She took his breath away, even now. "I…miss my family, Emilia. I really do."

Without saying anything, the half-elf's arms wrapped around the knight-sage. There were no words, only body language. Subaru was thankful for that.

Before cutting the hug, Subaru felt something drip from his left eye. Reaching his hand over his cheek, he felt some warm liquid. Looking at it carefully without catching Emilia's attention during the hug, he realized something.

His eye was bleeding. What…the hell?

"Su-"

He heard a voice. Looking down, he saw the absence of legs. Looking forward, he saw the absence of arms. Opening his mouth, he heard the absence of voice.

And yet, he felt safe. He felt loved.

"Subaru-kun…"

BOOOOOM.

Tearing apart the hug, a massive explosion collapsed the ceiling, catching everyone by surprise. The falling cement was about to fall on Emilia, when Subaru dragged her by the arm and shielded her with his own body.

It felt like his back was being punched by the Hulk. "Gah!"

"Subaru!" Instantly, she created a barrier of ice above the ceiling, halting the falling ceiling. Immediately afterwards, Beatrice ran to Subaru, teary-eyed.

"Beako!" Quickly getting off of Emilia, Subaru started to run to the loli-spirit. Without turning back, he yelled, "Check on the others, Emilia-tan! I'll figure out what the hell's goi-"

He stopped moving. Blood dripped from his side, foot, and shoulder. Without understanding the situation, his body started to float.

Squinting, the Japanese boy realized there were three shadow spears piercing his body, and dragged him upwards against gravity. If this kept up, he'd soon bleed out to death without learning anything. In vain, he grabbed the spear on his side, and tried pulling it out with all the strength he could muster.

Hearing a charming voice, his dull pupils looked forward and noticed a platinum-haired young woman whose beauty was otherworldly. There was also a teenage boy, possibly slightly younger than Garfiel next to her. Seeing his raised arm aiming at Subaru, he deduced the boy was behind the spears and anti-gravity.

Catching a glimpse behind Pandora, he noticed a hooded man. It was clearly a witch cultist. He saw a smile. A smile he recognized. But who was it?

[]

Chapter End

Author Notes

Anime Expo was…intense to say the least. Holy shit. It tired me out.

Anyways, I'm back. Again. Still trying to get used to writing for the Re:Zero universe. Just finished Puella Magi Madoka Magica: Rejection, so I got more time to write for this story.

I need a bit more inspiration. There isn't enough fanfiction stories in Re:Zero, strangely enough, and none about Pride Subaru apart from my own.

If I could read someone else's take on Pride Subaru, I might be able to full adjust to this story. Other writers inspire me.

Anyways, hope you enjoyed it.