Chapter 23: Progression
(Alternatively, Asuma Makes A Promise and Learns Something New)
Author's Note: Writer's Block is an absolute bitch. I had this chapter semi planned out, but between my nieces, nephew, real life, and the Writer's Block I've scrapped the original idea. It was supposed to progress to 'On Screen' missions in this chapter, but it just wouldn't go any further then where I had it. So no on screen missions this chapter. Maybe I'll be able to write them later, but it's not happening here.
However, this chapter will be fairly entertaining in certain ways.
Enjoy!
(Asuma's POV)
Asuma notices very quickly that, ever since the day he'd gone to the young Nara's home, Shikamaru has been more open than ever. And it's been over two months since then. Ino and Chōji are less uncompromising when it comes to talking about Shikamaru now. They are more than willing to tell their sensei about little things that will happily surprise the Nara. Anything from shōgi to a favored sweet that the young male rarely gets for himself(but will buy in bulk and go through in a week when he does buy them. Asuma had been surprised and amused at that little tidbit). In return, Asuma ensures that his whole team is treated at the end of their training week. He never treats one teammate without treating the other two.
He also continues meeting with them separately on their days off, devoting the whole day to that student. If the reactions of Chōza-san and Inoichi-san are any indication, he's doing a good job of getting his team used to him and endearing himself to the Clan Heads by being so involved with them. It's harder to read the Nara Clan Head, but Asuma has already decided that it's not Shikaku he has to get in good with. Shikamaru is the smartest kid he's ever met and he won't insult him by attempting to meet with the kid's family when he comes to see his student. Instead, he asks Shikaku to escort him Shikamaru's place.
Like he's already done today. Asuma isn't surprised when Shikamaru steps out on to the veranda without anyone calling out to him. The kid just has a way of knowing when they get past the tree line. Asuma is starting to suspect that Fuinjutsu is involved. He calls out as he walks through the clearing.
"Yo, Shikamaru! You have any plans for today?"
The Nara eyes him for a moment before before saying, "Garden needs some tending to. Some of the vegetables are ripe and need to be picked. Want to help?"
Asuma grins, "Sure!"
Asuma has seen the Nara tending to both of his gardens before. He's seen the way Shikamaru's shoulders relax as he works with the plants, the way his face turns soft and fond and a hint of sadness creases the corners of his dark eyes as if he's remembering something or someone. It's obvious that Shikamaru's garden is special to him and Asuma will take any chance he can get to know the Nara better. Getting his hands a little dirty in a garden is well worth the trust he's building with the young genius. And the fact that Shikamaru is inviting him to help him? It's a big step for both of them.
As he is kneeling in the morning sun and his hands deftly weed and pick as directed, Asuma listens to the soft rasp of his students voice as he talks about the plants. But it isn't the information about the plants that interests him the most (though he's absorbing every single bit of info he can for the sake of knowing how to help the kid). No, it's the underlying emotions he's listening to. And Asuma thinks that he'll learn more about his student just by listening. Because Shikamaru's voice is just as soft and fond as the look on his face, with that same hint of sadness underscoring the contentment the Nara seems to have found in this small place he calls home.
Asuma can't help but wonder who it is that Shikamaru wishes could be here to see what the Nara has created with his own two hands. And then he wonders if the sadness the boy carries is because that person - or perhaps more than one person - is no longer part of this world. Asuma swears then and there to quietly leave an offering the next time he's here. It's only right that he lets the person - or persons - on the other side know that he'll make sure the kid is taken care of. Because he/she/they had watched over his student first and Asuma always repays his debts. And it is a debt. Because Asuma doesn't know if he'd even have this kid in his life if it wasn't for those who are no longer here for the Nara the way he is now...
It's a week later, as they are returning from a successful C-RANK, that Ino brings up a topic that he really doesn't want to get involved with so soon.
"So," Ino says, a sly smirk on her face, "the merchants daughter was pretty cute."
Asuma groans and tilts his head back to stare at the sky, praying for patience and strength. He hears Chōji sigh. Oddly enough, Shikamaru says nothing to her pointed comment. Asuma turns his head to look at his kids. To his surprise, Shikamaru's face is scrunched up in confusion rather than disgust or annoyance. His brows are furrowed and a frown is tugging the corners of his mouth down, but his eyes are not narrowed the way they normally would be if the Nara was annoyed or angry.
"What does that have to do with the mission we just completed?" The Nara's confusion is so obvious at this point that even Chōji can't help but look at him strangely.
Ino stops to stare at him, "Seriously, Shikamaru? We're kind of at that age where guys and girls notice one another. I mean, I'm not into other girls, but she was cute and even Chōji noticed how she kept looking at you and how she kept trying to capture your attention. Are you seriously telling me that you didn't notice?"
The Nara opens his mouth to answer, closes it, and folds his arms in front of his chest somewhat defensively. Finally, he says, "I'm the wrong person to ask about noticing that kind of thing. But, to answer your question, no, I didn't notice. And, even if I had noticed, it wouldn't have made a difference."
Asuma watches as Shikamaru rocks back on his heels as he contemplates his next statement. He shrugs eventually. "I may be going through puberty and all, but no one has ever caught my attention in the way you're suggesting, Ino. Maybe it's my age, maybe it's a mental thing, but I'm not interested in people in that way."
"So," Asuma falls back and places a hand on Shikamaru's shoulder in a comforting way, "do you think you might be asexual?"
Shikamaru shrugs again and his shoulder feels uncomfortably small under Asuma's hand. The kid often seems so much older and larger than life that it's kind of weird to be reminded that he's not even thirteen yet.
"I don't know. Again, it might just be my age or maybe I'm just not interested in -and absolutely no offense is meant to you all- people who can't 'get on my level' so to speak. I just know that I'm not attracted to anyone and it isn't something that I'm too worried about. If it happens, it happens. If not, oh well. I'm not going to base my life around whether someone is attractive to me or not."
Asuma nods and before Ino can say anything he says, "That's a good way to think, Shikamaru. You shouldn't be worrying about sexuality at this age, Ino. You have plenty of time to grow up more and mature despite the fact that you all are technically adults due to being Genin. Don't be in such a rush to leave your childhood behind."
He watches as Ino frowns. It's obvious that she doesn't quite agree. "Ino, beyond your duties as a Shinobi, you are still just twelve years old. No one expects you to to act like an adult when we're back in Konoha and they certainly don't want you to get in a situation that you can't get out of. Relationships can be tricky and the older you act at this age... Well, some people won't hesitate to take advantage of that. Those people won't hesitate to tell you that 'you're very mature for your age'. It's how they reel you in and trap you."
"But what about Shikamaru, Sensei?" Chōji looks over at his friend in concern. "He's really mature for his age and–"
"I'd break the idiot who tried to lay hands on me without my permission," Shikamaru interrupts the Akimichi. His expression is blank, but the Nara's eyes glint darkly as he says, "I'm not a very nice person when it comes down to people invading my personal space. Unless the person invading my personal space is someone I'm used to and lets me know that they're doing it, someone will get hurt."
"Woah there, Shikamaru–" Asuma raises his hand as he tries to pull the conversation back onto safer ground– "I get that you don't like people very much, but sometimes it becomes necessary for Shinobi to do things that they don't like. That includes pretending to enjoy having someone in your personal space even though you'd like nothing more than to rip that person limb from limb. Sometimes seduction becomes part of a mission that was supposed to be something completely different. Not that you three will have to deal with that. I'd kill whoever tried to send any of you on a seduction mission when you're this young."
"Aw!" Ino coos at him and Asuma wonders what Kami he offended to have a twelve-year-old girl make such a noise towards him. "You're so sweet and protective, Asuma-sensei!"
Asuma sighs.
(Shikamaru's POV)
When Ino brings up the merchants daughter, Shikamaru is utterly confused. What did she have to do with anything? When he asks as much, Ino proceeds to confuse him further. He gets what she's trying to say, but on some level Shikamaru is left floundering. He doesn't understand and maybe it's a hold over from his past life when he had been Hyo, but the concept of being attracted to a person - or even more than one person - just doesn't make sense. It doesn't compute.
(Then again, when he had been Hyo, he had so many experiments performed on him in his younger years that he had been physically, mentally, and emotionally unable to handle people outside of his family and the few people he considered friends. Shikamaru isn't sure if the mental and emotional instability of his past is still affecting him in such a way that it might make him unable to have a partner in this life. He hopes not, because he'd always looked upon his family members with a little sadness and jealousy. He had never told any of his family, but the fact that they could so easily affectionate with their significant others had always made him feel like a freak because he would never be able to do the same. He had never found a person he could be so comfortable with. And it had hurt(if he's honest with himself, it still does.))
In the end, Shikamaru just crosses his arms defensively in front of himself. He isn't comfortable talking about this sort of thing, but he tells Ino, "I'm the wrong person to ask about noticing that kind of thing. But, to answer your question, no, I didn't notice. And, even if I had noticed, it wouldn't have made a difference."
He rocks back on his heels as he thinks about why it wouldn't make a difference. Shikamaru shrugs as he says, "I may be going through puberty and all, but no one has ever caught my attention in the way you're suggesting, Ino. Maybe it's my age, maybe it's a mental thing, but I'm not interested in people in that way."
Asuma's immediate response surprises Shikamaru a little. He hadn't been expecting Asuma to become concerned, nor had he been expecting to hear his own thoughts for his potential future coming from his Sensei. The older male is trying to seem nonchalant, but his eyes scream worried. 'It's nice,' Shikamaru thinks to himself as he shrugs, 'having someone on my side.'
"I don't know. Again, it might just be my age or maybe I'm just not interested in -and absolutely no offense is meant to you all- people who can't 'get on my level' so to speak. I just know that I'm not attracted to anyone and it isn't something that I'm too worried about. If it happens, it happens. If not, oh well. I'm not going to base my life around whether someone is attractive to me or not," Shikamaru says.
It's the truth, after all, and he's never been the type of person who sugar-coats the truth. Omit a little because he doesn't want to go into detail on a subject that makes him uncomfortable? Yes. Bend the truth to make something sound better? No. Doing that would lead to more bent truths and might get someone killed.
He won't do that to his precious people. Not now, not ever.
PLEASE READ THE ENDNOTES!
Endnotes: This chapter took FOREVER to write between real life and writer's block. But it's finally here for all of you who have been waiting so patiently. And thank you so much for doing so!
Just so you all know, no Shikamaru isn't asexual. But he isn't going to be the kind of person who will feel attraction towards just any person either. After the hell he went through as Hyo, Shikamaru still has a lot of issues that he needs to work out. He's very much the kind of person who would need time to get to know a potential partner. So I suppose, for this story, Shikamaru would be a gray demisexual. As in he'd need to trust the person before he felt any sexual attraction, but only towards one very specific person after a specific situation.
I've thought about it for a while and it seemed to fit Shikamaru(Hyo) after everything he's been through. The actual experiments from his life as Hyo might not affecting him anymore, but the mental and emotional scars are still very much there.
Anyway, that's the end of the notes. I really hope you enjoyed this chapter. If you did, then let me know. I love hearing from my readers and I can't wait to hear from you!