Chapter 29: Shikamaru

(Alternatively, In Which Others Contemplate On the Unknown Hero)

Apologies, everyone! Between writer's block and working and life in general, I've been pretty stressed and that isn't really good for my ability to write. BUT! As you've probably seen, I did manage to post something recently. It was something that I started a while back and finally finished it yesterday. I'm hoping that I can start getting back in the habit of writing since I miss it so much, but I can't promise consistent updates since my schedule changes every few weeks.

However, I am trying and, hopefully, updates will be a little less rare. Keep your fingers crossed everyone!

On another note, I think I've found the perfect overarching theme song for this series. It's called 'When It's All Over' by Raign. Seriously, go look it up on YouTube. My Hyo|Shikamaru muse was so stunned by the lyrics that I couldn't even fangirl over how perfect it was. I was literally speechless for several minutes afterward. I'm thinking of putting together a list of songs that go with the story, so let me know if you'd like to see that.

(Asuma's POV)

For all that he's allowed his old man to delay him in going after his most secretive student, it doesn't mean that his old man could or even can stop him if he really decides to go after the boy. He has good reason too. Shikamaru is his in a way that he can't explain in words. He feels the same way about Ino and Chōji. They're his kids now, no matter what anyone else thinks or says.

Which makes it all the harder to stay away from Shikamaru - to give his kid the space he craves - as the kid visibly pulls himself back together, as he scrapes the sharp, jagged edges of himself into something more peaceful and settled than ever. However, Asuma manages to do it for the exact same reason, because there is a measure of healing in the way Shikamaru pulls himself back from the brink and Asuma can no more deny this healing to his student than he can deny that he's relieved to see the same familiar and steady calm in the kid's eyes again. It doesn't mean that he stops remaining watchful. Oh no, his kids have had their worlds turned upside down in one fell swoop and just because their recovering doesn't mean he won't be ready when any of them decides to start talking. Though, he's certain that Chōji will be the first to come to him if he hasn't gone to his father already.

Ino, he knows, has already talked to her father, because the man had thanked him for bringing his daughter back, at the very least, healthy and whole physically. They can pick up the mental pieces from the disaster that had become their mission, but they can't heal physically crippling injuries. And with Senju Tsunade having seemingly disappeared off the face of the earth... There is no one skilled enough in Konoha to heal truly crippling wounds. To be completely honest, it scares him, the thought of one of his kids being forever crippled.

Sure, it's not the worst that could happen to them, but it's one of them. And he thinks that, of the three of them, it is Shikamaru who will be the one to take being crippled the hardest. His stomach drops and his blood runs ice cold whenever he thinks about such a thing happening. Asuma can't help but wonder if the feelings that are invoked in him are premonitions or warnings against a possible future where an incident such as that occurs and he shudders. While he's not the most superstitious of people, he does believe in there being more to the world than what he can see. That being said, Asuma knows that he'll be pushing his kids hard during their training; no way in hell is he letting them get killed or crippled while they are in his care(probably not even after they leave it either...).

(Shikaku's POV)

He's unable to stop thinking about what has been revealed to him even days after his talk with his son. And no matter how hard he tries, Shikaku cannot shake that sadness that he now carries in regards to the harsh truths and the world that Shikamaru had spoken of. His son isn't the type of person to condone pity towards himself and Shikaku doesn't. Pity his child, that is. He's too much a warrior for pity to ever truly take root, but he knows sadness and he mourns for an innocence lost all too soon.

He wishes that he could give his son back some form of innocence, some form of childish wonder for the world and people around him. Wishes are all that he'll ever have though... His son has seen too much of the world and it's all too common cruelty for the boy to see the world with a new perspective. Shikamaru is too hard, too worn down, too tired to try to even pretend to see the world through a child's eyes. It had been obvious from a such a young age in Shikamaru and he wonders how he never saw it until Naruto had been dragged into his family's life by his stubborn son.

But, for all that Shikamaru is all too world-weary, his son still somehow manages to look at and recognize the beauty still left in the world. Sometimes Shikaku thinks that his son still has a form of wonder that hasn't been lost to time and experience from the way he looks at his family, his friends, the children and innocent civilians of Konoha. It's in the way he tends to his garden, to their Clan's deer, the way he stares up at the sky with a mixed look of such strong relief and disbelief. It's the way he'll stand in the rain for hours -regardless of how bad a storm is- with grief and wonder lining his face. And Shikaku wonders just how bad things had truly been at the end of his world for a storm, of all things, to invoke such powerful emotions in his son.

Shikaku sighs softly and hopes that Shikamaru can continue to hold on to whatever it is that makes him do these things. No matter how strange his actions may seem to strangers, his boy has his reasons and nothing else matters to him. As a father, all he hopes for is Shikamaru's happiness and health and he'll fight anyone who tries to take those things from his son when there are already enough shadows in those dark eyes.

(Ino's POV)

'Shikamaru seems better now. Well...at the very least, he doesn't seem to be as sad as he used to be,' Ino thinks to herself as she watches her odd teammate while he runs through the hand signs for his jutsu again and again, training his mind and body for the speed he'll need in an emergency. Shikamaru is an enigma. One that all of the time travelers want to figure out.

TenTen is convinced that Shikamaru somehow managed to return to the past even before they did. Lee, on the other hand, just seems to regard the Nara with a solemn sort of sadness and respect. Naruto and Sasuke aren't sure what to think about him, but, then again, they also care the least about what his secrets are because of how close they are to him. Shino is apprehensive; he's determined to take the Nara out if it somehow becomes apparent that Shikamaru is a threat to them and the future they are trying to save. Sakura is happy that her boys are more settled and content due to Shikamaru's actions, but she worries too.

"Shikamaru," she says, "is like a bomb and we don't know what will set him off. He's different in a way that we aren't. Harder, more tired, in ways that we aren't. To be completely honest, if he really is our Shikamaru, I don't think he ever expected to come back like we did. Maybe he just didn't know there was a way. Maybe things were so bad, wherever he was, that he failed to find a way before things got too bad for him to even attempt to come back.

"With the way he acts, would it really surprise you if he somehow came back by complete accident?"

Ino's thoughts then turn to the last of their age group's member. Neji, of all people, has managed to get close to Shikamaru in a very short amount of time. He mentions talking, training, and visiting with Shikamaru, but he certainly doesn't elaborate on those moments. Whenever anyone presses him for details, Neji goes grimly silent before quietly murmuring, "I dare not speak of things I have no understanding of, but I know this much – he is damaged, traumatized, in a way that no one can touch. Not yet, at least. I would prefer not to say anymore so, please, do not press for details."

'That being the case,' Ino thinks darkly, ' if Neji, one of the reigning princes of traumatized pasts, thinks that Shikamaru is damage... then it has to be bad.'

Not that she's surprised... Shikamaru is too quiet, too still, too dark, too haunted in ways that he shouldn't and couldn't be if he were just a normal child. Even if he is a Nara, because not even the too smart for his own good Shikamaru of the past was as worn down as this Shikamaru that is now in their midst. She props her chin in her hand and sighs. If only he wasn't so paranoid and skittish, then maybe she could have pried it out of him already.

But this Shikamaru is even better at keeping his secrets than the one from before. He keeps his secrets locked away with an intensity that isn't seen in untried Shinobi. This Shikamaru is used to silence, used to keeping his silence and using it as a shield to keep others at bay. He's used to unnerving people with a long, silent, emotionless look. He's old in mind and soul and it shows in how he reacts to certain actions or events.

It shows in how he isn't surprised by something, or how he holds so tightly to the ones he loves. It shows in how protective he is of her and the others, in how, sometimes, he looks so damn sad that she doesn't understand how he isn't in tears.

(But what she doesn't know is that Shikamaru is tired of tears, tired of crying for people and times he can never return to, but, more importantly, he thinks that he has no more tears to cry.)

Ending Notes: Finally! I have finally managed to finish this chapter after months of not being able to work on it. I cannot even begin to express how happy it makes me, to be able to get this out to all of you and I hope you enjoyed it!

Anyway, there isn't any Shikamaru or Neji in this chapter, as you've already seen, beyond in others' musings, but I hope you enjoy the perspectives of the people around Shikamaru!