Chapter 4
-xxxxxx-
While he was not fond of romantic clichés, Mei nevertheless was as beautiful as he remembered her. Even in her angry state and the situation they found themselves, he felt a veritable torrent of emotions and memories pour over him. The memory of her coy smile as she toyed with him, the almost glowing warmth in her eye as she dropped the games and just loved him, the attentive, awake look in it as she listened to him talk, the sultry breathing as they made love, the feeling of her lips and her skin, her scent and the feeling of her embrace.
How were they going to get out of this? Surrounded, outnumbered by Kiri's absolute best and him feeling as much as a lovesick puppy as he ever had? As per bloody usual Mei and his feelings for her refused to be convenient or manageable.
"Terumi Mei, I suppose," Sasori said beside him as the tail of Hiruko held one of the Kiri shinobi in a tight grip, tossing the man away as he spoke. "Fine lines... good skin. You'd make a good puppet. Too many people have imperfect lines that interfere. You'd be almost lifelike."
"There is such a thing as being too dedicated to one's craft Sasori-san," Naruto couldn't help himself but remark. "And maybe discussing raw materials would be better suited for another time?"
"Philistine," Sasori snorted. "Art does not rest."
"As quaint as your little discussion is," Mei said, her voice sending shivers down Naruto's spine. He could tell she was angry. Furious even. "Naruto..." she said, staring him down as an undertone of something else crept into her voice. She looked down at him, straight into his eyes, and Naruto could see the pain in them. "Have you fallen this low?" she asked him, towering high above as she passed her judgement on his actions. "Is this truly what you want? To help this Pein madman?"
"A question that keeps coming up," Naruto said, doing his utmost to affect a calm, apathetic tone. "I would have thought twenty inches of chakra-infused steel through my father's liver would have put this discussion to rest."
"I all but declared war on Konoha because of how they treated you," Mei told him angrily. "I would have thought at least that could have motivated you to seek some other option. If nothing else, then at least that we..." she said, stopping now as her emotions seemed to get the better of her.
"My apologies for the inconvenience," Naruto said, wanting to cut out his tongue at this point, "but simple want is an astonishingly irrelevant factor in all of this. As we are speaking of desires, however, I would like to express my desire for a certain accessory of yours," he spoke evenly, seeing what had become of the third key to the Sanbi's prison. It was currently fastened in Mei's hair, being used as a hair stick to hold together the bun of hair atop her head. A curious but sensible location really, he'd have to get right next to her if he wanted it and he remembered Mei's skill in battle.
"Do you think I'd give it up so easily?" Mei asked him. "I saw the measure of your new friends three years ago, Naruto. I won't give them even a breadcrumb."
"Indeed?" Naruto asked, still struggling to remain calm. "For what reason? Playing nice with Konoha after their abuses? Sacrificing the many for the few? Don't be blinded by idealism here. You have one sealed away beast and one jinchuuriki who already will be a risk due to his association with Namikaze Kimiko. If push comes to shove, you've no guarantees he'll be loyal. Instead see the big picture here. The Akatsuki have no quarrel with Kiri per se and cooperation would be an invaluable trump card if you seek to spare your village from the fate that awaits the others." It was a wonder that he could remain as calm as he did but as he had during the chuunin exams, he realized it was sink or swim with no mistakes allowed.
"Do you remember elder Hida?" Mei asked him now, Naruto having to think for a moment before remembering the man. Of course, that vermin who had lambasted Mei for wanting to earn to Daimyo's favor by sealing away the Sanbi. "I told him something before I threw him out of the chambers that time. The ones who'd prosper from my rule of Kiri would be everyone, not just those who I found convenient."
"Is that a no, then?" Naruto asked, letting out a silent breath he'd been holding. It was in the end silly of him to doubt her. He knew all this logically but in the place he was now paranoia and doubt was too common for him to be able to relax, to trust. Mei breathed in now, as if she was about to sigh in resignation. What came was not an expulsion of air, however, but burning mist as the Mizukage suddenly exhaled a massive cloud of acid smoke towards them.
The two Akatsuki members ended up leaping to the sides to avoid the cloud of acid poison only to be charged by the Kiri shinobi again. Naruto, however, didn't get much in the way of respite as someone came from the side just as he landed on the far end of the ridge. He twisted, parrying the attack only to find himself slammed backwards by the massive, hammer-like blade that struck him. Chojuro was here too he saw as the sole remaining Kiri swordsman pushed at him and almost drove him straight into the ground with enough force to create a crater in the ground. If he did not know how to meld into the earth that would have been unpleasant indeed he realized as he moved amidst the soil. Coming out of the ground behind Chojuro, he struck for the boy's spine only to be parried.
"Impressive," he said, for the first time being honest in this entire debacle. Chojuro met his gaze with his own glare. There was no doubt there any longer, no hesitation, only pure steel. This boy had grown well, it seemed.
"I had a good teacher," Chojuro hissed at him, his voice holding absolutely nothing of the terrified, scared little boy he remembered. How pleasant to see really, despite the situation. Having had his doubts about Chojuro, Naruto wasn't above admitting that he had been proven wrong by Kiri's young swordsman. He just felt the situation had been much easier to feel delighted by if said young man wasn't trying to decapitate him.
"I hope you're ready for your finals then," Naruto said lowly before unleashing a rapid succession of twelve blows towards Chojuro, each enough to take him out of the battle, had the boy not parried them all by transforming his sword into a shield-shape before stabbing forward and shaping the chakra into a spear that shot straight at Naruto, who vaulted over it. Delightful and frustrating; the boy could pretty much shape the sword into whatever he wanted. Another thing he'd love to study in detail yet which was trying to kill him. What more, as he landed Ao and Tsurugi came at him from the sides, going in low as they stabbed towards his sides in perfect synchronization. They were fast, faster than he remembered the two old dogs. Their long, curved daggers bit into his sides right before it turned out they had stabbed into a root and Naruto reappeared in the air above them.
"Seems like old dogs do learn new tricks," he remarked as he struck downwards right before a vicious kick forced him to retreat again as Mei had come after him again. She didn't say anything now, only came at him with her visible eye locked into a frown of pure ice. She exhaled again now, sending a torrent of lava towards him and Naruto felt the heat him like a battering ram. As he tried to fall back he was stymied by Chojuro, who smashed the Hiramekarei into the tree above him and sent the trunk crashing down behind him. In the same moment Ao and Tsurugi came soaring above him and sent two torrents of water down into the lava, making parts of it instantly solidify and creating a detonation of boiling hot steam as the lava flood kept going, crashing into the tree and solidify thanks to the water. In instants, they'd created a massive dome of solid rock, filled with boiling steam and sealed against the titanic trunk of a fallen tree.
The four Kiri shinobi all landed further away, looking at the massive mound of volcanic stone that now rested against the trunk. Mei landed with her face still frozen in icy anger, Ao and Tsurugi both flanked Mei with their daggers in hand and Chojuro landed in front of her, the young man panting after the brief but intense exchange.
"Did we get him?" Chojuro asked as he watched the mountain of stone, both hands on his sword. Mei didn't say anything in reply to her young subordinate's question. Ao, however, narrowed his eyes.
"No," he said grimly. "It's only starting..." he added right before a blinding explosion of seemingly pure blue light tore the stone mountain apart along with the trunk. The Kiri shinobi threw up their hands to shield themselves as debris came flying past them along with a blast of wind enough to almost knock them prone. The deafening roar of debris, explosion and rushing wind lasted for nearly twenty seconds before it started to peter off and they could lower their arms again.
Nothing remained of the solidified lava other than a smoking crater now. It was hard to see anything of what was in it thanks to the dust and smoke that swirled around in it, yet through the rapidly fading background noise of falling debris the sound of clapping came. Slowly, the masked Akatsuki-member they once had called a friend came walking out of the debris, clapping his hands as he approached. There were few, if indeed any, signs on him of damage or even wear.
"Excellent performance..." he said calmly as he walked towards them, stopping about twenty meters away. "Mostly excellent," he corrected himself after a second. "Adequate, one might say." Mei narrowed her eyes now, teeth gritted as she inhaled and blew another massive gust of acidic mist at him. This time Naruto didn't dodge however. Instead he merely raised his hand, holding the palm towards the incoming cloud of death and speaking a single word the instant it reached him. "Kai."
No loud exclamation or explosion came this time. The acid cloud merely... unraveled. In instants, it fell apart like a cloud of dust, whipped away by the wind, or mist dispelled by sunlight. A single, calm word had been all that had been needed and though the ground in front of Naruto was devastated the destruction stopped right in front of him. Flexing his fingers, Naruto slowly lowered his hand.
"If you plan to beat me, you need to do better than that," he said with a low, impassive voice. "Those tepid Jutsu you fling around won't scratch me. Try it if you must, but every last move you make is a testament to your inferiority." He spoke with a cold, harsh tone as he said this, Mei's teeth clenching in anger before she leaped at him, Ao and Tsurugi shooting after their mistress to try to aid her. The rage on the Mizukage's face was palpable and it was all the two old wolves of Kiri could do to rush after her, put pressure on Naruto so he wouldn't be able to exploit her anger.
Chojuro was just about to leap after them as well, having delayed only for a heartbeat to transform his sword, but a whisper made him stop. He almost didn't pick it up but in a split-second lull in the fighting he heard it come from behind him.
"Chojuro..." the whisper came from a voice that was strained, quivering and weak but above all else familiar. The young swordsman ended up looking backwards in shock, eyes widening upon seeing the sight of Sakura, leaning against a tree and shivering. She was so pale! She seemed almost like she was dying. Her eyes were misty with tears and she stumbled as she walked. One had reached out towards him as her lips formed a desperate please. "Help me..." Sakura whispered before falling forward. It was all Chojuro could do to catch her.
Meanwhile, Mei shrieked in anger and grief as she launched another torrent of lava at him, Naruto annihilating the attack while at the same time lashing out to drive both Ao and Tsurugi off him with the help of his sword. The four shinobi created a deadly whirlwind of steel and jutsu as they dashed back and forth among the trees. Further away Sasori and his puppets were creating their own tornado of death and destruction together with the Kiri shinobi that had thrown themselves at him. Chaos and death were the only ones to gain anything as the fighting kept going for several minutes.
It was as Mei was thrown back from Naruto for a moment that Chojuro stepped up beside her, sword raised again. She looked to him for a split-second and wondered where he had been even if the situation did not allow interrogating him over it. Instead she looked ahead again, crying out "Let's go Chojuro!" as she charged Naruto again with her swordsman at her back.
Seconds later he was not at her back, but stabbing it. The Hiramekarei transformed into a hammer as Chojuro swung at her, striking her from behind mid-charge and leaving her crashing limply into the ground. Vaulting over his Kage, the dead-eyed Chojuro snatched the key from her hair mid-vault and landed with his hand pulled back to throw it the direction from whence they'd come. There, it was caught by Sakura in one hand, the other held out with the chakra wires connected to Chojuro gleaming around it.
The brutal take-down of the Kage made Ao and Tsurugi both lose the initiative with which they'd been pushing against Naruto. Shock and outrage was visible on their faces as Naruto seized the abandoned initiative and slammed his hand into the ground to create a shockwave that tore the earth all around them apart and threw up a massive cloud of smoke.
"Ao!" Tsurugi yelled, trying to seize back the initiative and Ao called out in response.
"On it!" he said as he looked around. He activated the hidden Byakugan to track Naruto only to find the man coming at him out of the dust before the eye had even found him.
"No," Naruto told him, slamming his hand against the man's face and slamming Ao into the ground. Letting go of Ao's face as black seals began to form on it, Naruto instant-moved away and landed by Sakura. "Sasori!" he yelled, the puppet-master lashing out with his puppets further away and disappearing in a blur of motion. As his partner landed, Naruto rose up and took the key from Sakura. Holding it up, he looked towards the Kiri shinobi around him, many of them dashing at them in desperation to try to stop them. "Behold the cost of your high principles," he said before Sakura's tore her hand downwards, severing the threads by which she'd bound Chojuro and throwing both hands to the side. As smoke bombs exploded all around them people cried out in surprise and frustration.
When the smoke cleared the Akatsuki members were nowhere to be seen.
-xxxxxx-
It was a tiny island out in the middle of nowhere, an islet more than anything else. It was small, barren of life, barring the barnacles clinging to the rock where the water surged and withdrew and a couple of seabirds standing high atop the cliff. It was a small world of nothingness, of gray rocks and only the crashing of the sea. Yet it was also the place they sought. The two Akatsuki agents looked in silence at it where they stood atop the waves, Sasori's tail swishing slowly behind him as he spoke.
"A good hiding place," he admitted to his companion. "I doubt anyone but birds have ever set foot here apart from you."
"Attention to detail is everything," Naruto said lightly while in truth still being angry and saddened by what had transpired. He hadn't wanted to see Mei again, not in this context, and he was pretty sure that a whole lot of good Kiri shinobi had died back there. Sasori was not one to hold back, after all, and Naruto wondered just what Mei would say now if he even survived this. Would she hate him for how he indirectly had cost her good men and women? Or why not the fact that he was part of the deception that had moved Kiri around like one pawn of many, all for some distant goal that just seemed more idiotic the longer he stayed with these psychopaths.
What was he even doing?
"Don't drag me into that asinine argument again," Sasori told him and Naruto forced himself to shrug, remembering where he was.
"I wasn't planning to," he told his companion mildly, "You seem to be plenty obsessed with it on your own."
"Are you hoping I'll bite, or are you just being tedious for the sake of tedium?" Sasori growled as they walked towards the island and reached the shore.
"Yes," Naruto replied succinctly as he walked up to a cliff and placed his hand against it, closing his eyes to focus. While Sasori did not say anything Naruto nevertheless smiled to himself. He could almost feel Sasori's glare in the back of his neck and that gave him enjoyment. Even now, in this position he was in, there was some amusement to be had from baiting the puppeteer. Pushing against the wall, he found the seal he was looking for and opened it, leaving the cave wall to fall to the side and slowly reveal the their goal, the large, ceramic urn that held the Sanbi inside of it. It rested deep in the cave, surrounded by several layers of seals that formed a nigh-invisible web around it.
An exquisite prison, one that few would have been able to get through. Yet he was the one who had created it. Naruto walked inside, placing his hand against the right spot on the floor and made a seal with one hand. The shockwave was almost imperceptible but the effects immense. Slowly at first but quickly accelerating, the rows of seals fell apart one after one, unraveling as the structure holding them together was damaged just enough to make it all come undone.
"Let's pack this thing in and get moving," Sasori said as he came up beside Naruto. "No sense dawdling."
"Indeed," Naruto said, wanting to sigh deeply but remembering to act unconcerned.
"If nothing else, you got that cleared up, did you not?" Sasori asked and Naruto looked up at him. "The Mizukage." the puppeteer clarified after a few seconds. "She wasn't one to trade principles for convenience. Admirable but misguided, and you are clear on where you stand with her."
"I did not think you someone who would seek silver linings so fervently," Naruto said as he stepped deeper into the cave and approached the altar, grabbing one of the ropes hanging off the urn and lifting it up. It was heavy... thanks to the seals used, he did not want to try to carry the urn in a storage seal. Sealing seals inside seals could be a tricky business. Tricky, and nightmarish if a single mistake was made.
"If it stops you moaning, why not?" Sasori asked and Naruto rolled his eyes behind his mask.
"How pre-emptive of you," he all but spat as he slung the urn over his shoulder. "I think we'd best head back to the base and your workshop, your separation anxiety is showing." Sasori only chuckled in response and Naruto couldn't help but smirk slightly under the mask as well. And for good reason. This bickering was familiar to him, almost too familiar. It was Anko all over again, only with an added layer of intellectual stimulation to offset the lack of wild craziness. If only he and Sasori had met at some other time he thought to himself. Some place where they weren't wrapped up in the business of the Akatsuki. Another thing he regretted about all this. How thrilling... he was building up a right treasury of grievances and regrets it seemed. No wonder everyone in the Akatsuki was a headcase.
-xxxxxx-
The day was a usual Konoha day, meaning quite warm, clear sky and a soft wind that blew through the village. A good day for watching clouds Kimiko thought where she lay in the grass of the park, looking up at the clouds high above her, floating around in the sky. She could sorta see why Shikamaru liked doing this all the time. It was peaceful. You could just lie here and just float away, like you were a cloud as well, only lower than the clouds up there and floating around in the sky. That'd be really nice if she could become one she thought. Just float away from everything that bothered her.
As she lay there, however, she found her view blocked by a blob of blackness that it took her a second to identify. It was Konohamaru who was standing leaning over her, his face shadowed enough that she could only make out his mouth and eyes from the position she lay in right now.
"You seem to be real busy," her teammate remarked where he stood, hands in his pockets. Kimiko didn't reply but rather leaned to the side to look at the sky past his head. "Real social too," the young Sarutobi remarked dryly as he sat down beside her, arms resting on his knees as he looked at his teammate. A few seconds of silence could pass between them now, disturbed only by the wind and the distant murmur of the village that surrounded them. It all created a carpet of background noise for Kimiko to rest on: something to turn her back to as she stared up at the clouds high above.
"Okay seriously," Konohamaru told her after a few moments of silence. "Are you going to mope around here all day?" he asked impatiently.
"Maybe..." Kimiko said slowly, her voice lacking all of the usual spunk.
"Then how about you maybe get off your ass and go train or something?" Konohamaru asked. "Isn't that how you usually handle these kinds of things? Train until you can't stand?"
"Dun wanna," Kimiko responded with the same level of apathy as before.
"So what are you going to do then?" Konohamaru asked. "Piss away the rest of the day too?"
"Yeah probably..." Kimiko informed him and Konohamaru gritted his teeth, looking away for a couple of seconds before raising one hand and looking down on it. He slowly flexed his fingers, pursing his lips in deep thought before shrugging.
"Then I know something we can do!" he said loudly, shoving his hand in under her hips to roughly grope her ass. "Wanna get down and dirty here and now eh?!" he continued as Kimiko's eyes widened in shock.
Three seconds later he was lying upside down against the trunk of a shaking tree nearby, a small downpour of leaves coming from above him as he groaned in pain.
"Yeah, you ain't lost it yet..." he said with a choked voice as he looked at Kimiko, who stood upright, eyes wide, teeth bared and breath deep as she glared at him in shock and anger. "So..." he grunted as he rolled off the tree and rolled a shoulder. "Damn that hurt... but you really gonna collapse just like that?" he asked her now, looking up at her. "We found Sakura, your brother's apprentice. We're closer to that prick than we've been for three years now. Isn't this a good thing?"
"Good?!" Kimiko exploded now. "Good that one of my best friends acted like she hated me?! That I pretty much treated her like dirt just because she was a good apprentice and I was a jealous idiot!? That I... that I made her think she only had my brother to rely on... that I drove her to... that I made her defect!" she continued, tears welling up in her eyes as she began to sob again. Turning around, she clenched her teeth and fists both, staring into the ground as she tried to hold back her tears.
When Konohamaru came up behind her and hand-chopped her over the head she was too surprised to act, only looking back at the young man with eyes showing her confusion and anger at everything.
"Hey!" Konohamaru told her now, leaning forward as he held out his hands to the sides. "I've spent most of my life hating my only living relative. I didn't do that because I had the right to as much as that I was a stupid little shit who needed to get my ass kicked. You really think someone going 'gyahahahahahahaaa!' is someone you should rely on for a fair judgement of shit? I don't. So how about this?" he asked. "You stop bawling, come train and when we've got more intel we find Haruno, kick her ass seven ways to Sunday and drag her back here to make her see sense. Deal?" he asked, Kimiko not replying at first. Then, however, she threw herself at Konohamaru, wrapping her arms around him and burying her face in his chest as she began to sob again. Konohamaru stood still, holding his arms up still and looking confused.
"Just comfort me stupid," Kimiko said with a hoarse voice after a while, Konohamaru eventually obliging as he gave her the stiffest hug known to man. For a short while they stood still like that, the young Sarutobi awkwardly hugging his team-mate as she sobbed into his chest, clinging to him like a drowning woman. "Kami-sama you suck at hugs," she said after she had managed to calm down.
"Well gosh and gee princess," Konohamaru rolled his eyes at this. "Guess I bombed that exam. That must be how you caught up with me at all." He said acerbically.
"You're pretty smug considering I'm in prime position to kick you in the balls," Kimiko said as she pushed away, finally smiling as she wiped away the tears on her face.
"That's the thanks I get for getting you to stop bitching is it?" Konohamaru said as he threw up his hands and looked around in mock exasperation. "Fine, forget about me ever getting you out of your funk again."
"Don't lie," Kimiko retorted, "you'll keep making sure I don't intrude on your whiny turf."
"Bitch."
"Asshole."
"Bimbo."
"Emo."
"Am I interrupting something?" A voice called dryly and they both looked to the side to see Sasuke leaning against a nearby tree. Kimiko and Konohamaru looked at each other before shrugging in synchronization.
"Not really, just telling it as it is," Kimiko said, wrapping her arms behind her head. Sasuke didn't reply to this but instead gave them both a strange look before continuing.
"Hokage-sama asked for us to come to his office," he said eventually. "I do not know what it is, but it seemed important."
"What, unlike all the non-important summons?" Konohamaru asked before being slapped over the head by Kimiko.
"Behave," she told him and
Konohamaru groused but did not say anything more.
Sasuke rolled his eyes at the pair. "If you two are quite finished," he asked as the three began to make their way towards the Hokage tower.
-xxxxxx-
Minato Namikaze looked at the letter in his hand, wondering why he did not feel more relieved or indeed happy right now. The message had arrived this morning with a carrier falcon, carrying a seal he hadn't seen for a long time and being marked as a top priority message. What more, the contents put a major concern of his to rest and gave him a new ally in this entire conflict. Yet as it was, the contents of the letter only filled him with a slow, nameless dread and he sighed deeply, leaning back as he stared up at the ceiling.
When the door opened to his office the reflexes which had been honed for decades activated and he looked down again, losing the forlorn look on his face and adopting a visage of calm and security. After all, who would follow a Hokage who looked like a scared whelp? That it was his own daughter who entered along with her two teammates changed nothing.
"You asked for us dad?" Kimiko began and Minato gave her a wry look. "Uhm yeah, Hokage-sama?" she corrected herself and Minato nodded.
"I did," he said, holding up the letter for them to see. "I just received this message from Kirigakure," he told them, noting how he instantly got the full attention of all three of them. "The Mizukage writes that they were hit by the Akatsuki, who managed to seize one of the bijuu and abscond with it. They suffered many casualties trying to stop them and Terumi-dono is asking for our aid. If we can provide medical aid to their wounded she will consider it a show of good faith enough that normalizing relations again will be a possibility."
"Don't they have medic-nins of their own Hokage-sama?" Konohamaru asked. "I know Kiri's a shithole, but it isn't that much of a dump is it?"
"One of the Akatsuki members who struck them was Sasori of the Red Sands," Minato elaborated. "Kiri's medical staff is unable to synthesize an antidote, we are the only ones with that ability."
"Who was the other Akatsuki member?" This question came from Kimiko, who seemed to have snapped out of the funk that had gotten hold of her during the last days. It gladdened Minato to see but at the same time it only made it all the harder to say what he was going to say now.
"Terumi-dono did not specify," he admitted, "But our intel indicates that Sasori works alongside Naruto." The instant the words had left Minato's mouth Kimiko sucked in a sharp breath. He looked to his daughter and saw that whatever calm she had managed to gain was sucked away in an instant. Her eyes were wide and her lips quivered. All of her was like a piano wire all of a sudden, wound to the breaking point. It wasn't she who broke the silence though, it was Sasuke.
"Kiri backed itself into a corner," the young Uchiha said thoughtfully.
"You're doing that thing again," Konohamaru remarked and when Sasuke looked at him, blinking, he sighed. "That thing where you say half of a thing and expect the rest of us to fill in the blanks," Konohamaru said with an acerbic tone to his voice "Would it kill you to actually explain what you're on about?"
"Very well," Sasuke sighed patiently. "Kirigakure cut off all ties with Konoha after Namikaze Naruto's defection. They considered him a friend of the village and from where they stood the blame for Naruto's defection lay with Konoha. Having to choose between Naruto and Konoha, they chose their friend. Now that same friend attacked them and stole one of their bijuu. Their entire reason for declaring against us fell apart."
"Heh... when you put it that way they sound pretty damn arrogant," Konohamaru remarked. "We weren't the ones who broke off the cooperation after all. They were, and now they act like they could possibly deign themselves to forgiving us if we do them a pro bono favor. Wouldn't there be a point to squeezing them a bit here, make them realize who's got all the aces?"
"I'm not going to rub salt in Kiri's wounds just to be spiteful Sarutobi-san," Minato said icily, making Konohamaru flinch slightly. "Besides, there were other issues clouding our relationship at the time of the break. This is the matter of building bridges, not adding insult to injury. Kimiko?" he asked sharply now, looking at his daughter. The girl blinked, eyes focusing back on him now. "Did you hear what I said?"
"Yes Hokage-sama," Kimiko said reluctantly, Minato making a motion for her to continue. "We're not going to Kiri to look for clues, we're going to escort medic nins and we're not going to run off to see what traces we can find of them." She said reluctantly and Minato nodded.
"Exactly," he said. "I'll be honest. You're going because you're my daughter and because you managed to befriend Utakata. Your presence as not just my daughter and our Jinchuuriki but because you three were the Ace Genin."
"So in short we're going there to trot around so Kiri can get their butthurt soothed enough to get their heads out of said asses?" Konohamaru asked dryly, lips pursed in a sarcastic frown. "Eeeh… beats chasing cats." He said with a shrug before his head flew forward and he fell down, faceplanting into the floor. Kimiko and Sasuke both looked back in shock at his sudden fall. They were met by the sight of none other than the head of Konoha's medical division, Senju Tsunade. She was standing with a balled fist held outwards as she looked down at Konohamaru with a wry look on her face.
"You're way too lenient with these brats Minato" she said, folding her arms under her sizeable bosom. "Hope you're prepared to have them whipped into shape when we come back from Kiri. How are you, brat?" she added, turning to Kimiko now and ruffling the girl's hair. Kimiko squealed and recoiled from the woman, flailing a bit but grinning all the same.
"Guh... my head is not a drum you know?!" Konohamaru yelled as he pushed himself up to a sitting position, rubbing his head as he glared up at Tsunade.
"True," the woman remarked as she looked down at him with a wry smirk. "With your whining I was more thinking bagpipe," she informed him before adding a 'bweeee' noise, provoking a snort of laughter from Kimiko and even Sasuke raising his hand to cover his mouth. Minato was busy covering his face with his hand but looked up after a few seconds.
"Abuse of your escorts notwithstanding, are you ready to travel to Kiri Tsunade-san?" he asked his teacher's old teammate, Tsunade looking to him with a calm, confident look.
"I was ready when you were still a gleam in your father's eye, boya" she told her Kage. "And I've got a good idea just what needs to be done. Is the tadpole trio ready to head out? Do I need to blow their noses first?"
"Kami-sama, you violent hag!" Konohamaru burst out now, "Stop acting like you're still more than a has-been hiding from her age and encroaching senility!" he told her loudly before slamming into the wall on the far end of the room. Tsunade, massaging her fist, turned to look at Kimiko and Sasuke with an angelic smile.
"Anyone else needing to get something out of their system?" she asked merrily, the two young aces both shaking their heads quickly.
-xxxxxx-
In the humongous, gloomy chamber the massive statue towered in near complete silence. Near complete, but for the slow, humming sound of chakra coming from the jar standing at the base of the statue. The lid was off and out of it rose a pillar of glowing chakra that was slowly being fed upwards, into the maw of the statue, by the figures standing on the raised fingers.
"Care to mind the balance Hidan?" Naruto's voice, dry and emotionless, said from one of the middle fingers where he was standing. "I'd rather not have this take longer than it needs."
"I'm balancing it just fine, Nerduto!" Hidan snapped at him, "Climb off my ass and focus on your own shit!"
"My 'shit', as you oh-so-eloquently put it, is well enough in order that I can see the imperfections in your contribution easily," Naruto told him pointedly but calmly. "Look down at the flow, notice how it jerks about three meters above the container. It is being fed too fast, too sloppily, and you're slowing the process down, possibly with as much thirteen percent. Is inefficient flailing part of Jashin's creed as well?"
"Jashin's breath Nerduto! Didn't Sasori give you enough cock on this trip? Will you stop nitpicking every last bit of what I'm doing?!"
"I will not," Naruto said, ignoring the remark about Sasori. "I will cram some modicum of knowledge and/or skill – ideally both and in either order – into your thick, sloping skull if I so have to use a crowbar, so shut up and..." he continued before being cut off by the mad death-cultist.
"Uuuuh, fun with leeearning" Hidan drawled with a sing-song voice. "You think you're gonna do anything but make me fall asleep mid-ritual?!"
"I suppose it is the mark of the cretin to be bored by what he understands," Naruto remarked mildly. "His idiocy leaves him gaping in wonder at every single thing he sees, and to understand something, anything, is to lose the only motivation he possesses, namely that of slack-jawed gawking at every strand of grass and every fly he sees." At this, a bark of laughter came from Kisame, who was standing to Hidan's left.
"Boy Naruto-san, aren't you spiteful today?" the swordsman asked with a massive grin, being accompanied in this by Deidara, who was doing his best to cover up his snort despite both hands being busy. "What happened? Your tongue's razor-sharp."
"I expect success in all things," Naruto said, "But can abide abject failure. If one simply was not good enough, then that's that. What I truly despise is only barely managing to squeeze by. Mediocrity leaves a sour taste in my mouth."
"I have to agree," Sasori remarked now as he looked to Zetsu. "We were ambushed in force by Kiri's shinobi. They knew what route we were taking. Did you slip up somewhere Zetsu?"
"Don't blame me," Zetsu retorted. "If anyone tipped their hand it wasn't me. All I could find indicated Kiri was still flailing around." He told them before his voice became deeper, more guttural. "If anything it was that apprentice brat of your colleague who tipped the world off that we were coming."
"Because obviously she was clumsy enough that not just Konoha, but also the village that for the last three years has been in a cold war with Konoha, learned every last piece of our plans," Naruto remarked acerbically. "Certainly that must be the case. It is utterly impossible that our noble spymaster simply failed in his duties."
"Enough," Pein said, cutting the argument down in one instant and making all eyes turn to him. "Your bickering is tiresome. Whether they knew we were coming or not, they failed in stopping us. It served the Akatsuki's purposes and I don't care that it offended your sense of aesthetics" he remarked heavily, eyes looking straight at Naruto.
"Of course, leader-sama," Naruto answered calmly. "Do I have your permission to continue instructing Hidan in order to improve his performance?" He added, glancing at the Jashin-worshipper.
"Do it," Pein ordered. "And Hidan, you will listen to him. I do not abide mediocrity any more than he does."
"Oh for the...!" Hidan began but held his tongue. Not even he was going to truly go up against Pein. "Fine..." he spat eventually, glaring at Naruto with hate-filled eyes.
"Your commitment to self-improvement is an example to all of us, Hidan-senpai," Naruto said mildly, contempt and smugness marinating every word.
"Honestly I'm glad we picked him up just for the sass," Kisame grinned widely.