A Path Well Traveled
Chapter 10
Sharon Raydor had vast experience when it came to picking up the pieces of her shattered life. Her husband had made sure of that. In the wake of Andy's drunken visit and his subsequent departure from her life, Sharon once again focused all her energy on her children and her work. She volunteered at church, helped out at school functions and sports events, drove her children and their friends back and forth whenever she was able to, and tried her best to keep in touch with the few friends who understood the busy, unpredictable schedule of a cop who raised two children on her own. There was little time left for her to nurse a broken heart, and while she thought about Andy often and prayed for his recovery, she did not allow herself to be consumed by her longing for him.
It was hardest at night in the darkness of her quiet bedroom, when nothing distracted her mind from remembering the feeling of his body pressed against hers, of his hot breath on her skin as he whispered sweet words into her ear, of having someone beside her who saw her, not the cop or the mother. It was when she was alone, when she finally allowed herself to be still, that she missed hearing his deep, gravelly voice as he told her about his day or told her one of his lame jokes that never failed to make her laugh. It was the companionship that she had found with him that she missed most of all, and on many occasions she wondered if she had done the right thing when she had sent him away. Then she would look at her children and the small ways in which their father's addiction had scarred them, and she would feel justified in her actions. Her primary responsibility was making sure they were not harmed.
That was something she had to consider very carefully a few months after Andy had left when, out of the blue, her husband wandered back into her life. Her first instinct was to send him on his way again. He had come and gone so many times over the last several years, and every time he had taken a small part of her with him until she was sure that there was nothing left for him to take. Especially after the last time, when he had left with all their money, she had been convinced that that was it. When it came to Jack Raydor, however, her emotions were a little harder to control that she would like to admit.
He called her at work one morning, asking her to meet him for dinner. She had been tempted to say no, but he had sounded so genuine when he told her that there were some things he needed to tell her, that he wanted to apologize. It would not be the first time he expressed his profound regret for his behavior, but something in his tone pushed at her resolve.
When they met at a quiet bistro two days later, she was surprised at how well he looked. He was lean and fit, his skin had a healthy tan, and his eyes were clear, sparkling brightly with happiness when they landed on her. He kissed her politely on the cheek, respectful of her boundaries, before he helped her out of her coat and held her chair for her as she sat down at their corner table. They studied one another quietly for a few long moments after he had slid into his seat across from her, neither one of them knowing how to start their conversation.
Once they had ordered their drinks, Jack leaned forward a little, his arms resting on the table as he studied her for a moment, a tenderness in his blue eyes that Sharon had not seen in many years.
"You're looking great, Sharon," he finally began. "I missed you."
Before Sharon was able to inform him that it was his own fault he had not seen her in over a year, he raised his hands to keep her from saying what he knew to be on the tip of her tongue.
"I know, I know. I was the one who left, and I'm sorry."
He took a deep breath, looking down at his hands that were folded on the table in front of him. "There's nothing I can say or do to erase the past, but I would like to try to work on a better future, if you let me."
There was so much hope in his gaze when he looked up at her. Sharon had a hard time making sense of all her conflicting emotions. Primarily, she wanted to ask him to take his regret and remorse and go back wherever he had been over the last year. Then there was that familiar flutter of hope in her heart that she felt every time Jack came home. Despite everything he had put her through over the years of their marriage, he was still her first real love, the first man to whom she had given her heart and body. He was the man she had sworn in front of God and their families to love and cherish for the rest of their lives, and she had meant it with every fiber of her being. She wanted nothing more than to be able to trust him when he said that he was going to do better, to try harder, but experience had taught her to be cautious.
She did not know what to tell him. While she was not ready to simply accept his words and resume their life together as if nothing had happened, she also did not wish to discourage him if he was really willing to make some meaningful changes.
"I don't know what you want me to say, Jack."
He shook his head, giving her a sad smile.
"I don't expect you to forget what I did. There's a lot I've got to make up for, and I know it's not gonna happen over night. I can't promise you that I won't make any mistakes anymore, but I can promise to do my best. Things changed over the past year. I think I finally understood that I couldn't go on like that indefinitely."
Jack took a sip from the ice cold water the waitress had placed in front of them. He set it back down on the table, trailing the droplets that ran down its side with his fingers.
"I went to rehab eight months ago. It hasn't been easy, but I've been sober ever since. It's not really such a big deal, yet, but it's a start, and I'm committed to making it stick this time. I found an AA meeting close to my motel, and I'm working the program. Step nine has been the hardest part so far, but I've worked my way through my list. You and the kids are the only ones left."
Making amends. So far, that had always been the step that had sent Jack running. That he was sitting in front of her now, willing to face this vital part of his recovery, gave her more hope than she'd had in a long time.
"I'm glad to hear that, Jack," she said, cautiously keeping her voice neutral. She wanted to encourage him, but she was not yet willing to show him how much she wished he really was serious this time.
"It will take time to fix this. I can't just let you walk back into our lives and pick up where we left off a year ago. I want to trust you, but right now I don't."
She sighed when she saw the sadness in his eyes. "The children miss you." She paused before she added, "I miss you."
It was the truth. Even though he had broken her heart and her trust, and even though she had found comfort in the arms of another, she still missed her husband. She loved him. That was not something that could be turned off at the drop of a hat.
They decided to take it one day at a time. Jack would stay at his hotel for the time being, coming to the house for dinner and to spend time with his family. Sharon did not intend to keep him away from the children, but it was not just her trust that he had to regain.
Emily was elated to have her father back, and she had given her mother a hard time for not allowing him to come home. Ricky was more cautious. He seemed to be waiting for Jack to leave again, and it broke Sharon's heart that her little boy was so guarded around his own dad.
It took over a week for their nightly dinners to lose the awkwardness and tension. Jack had found a job at a small law firm and had managed to reconnect with a few old friends. It gave him things to talk about other than the adventures of his travels, which only led to arguments about why he had left them.
In the months he had been gone, his family had moved on. They had learned to be without him. Even before that, he had only been a peripheral part of their daily routines. He had been absent for a lot longer than a year. His wife and children had figured out how to make things work on their own. He felt as if they no longer needed him, and that hurt. More than once, he thought about leaving once again. He reasoned that it would be easier for them. He had no business messing with their lives any more than he already had.
If it had not been for his wife knowing him as well as she did, he might have taken the easy way out, but she had seen it in his eyes. She had noticed when he became uneasy in the face of everything he had missed and the effortless way his wife and children communicated while he was left out. That was not a situation he was comfortable with. He usually was at the center of attention, in the middle of whatever was going on. Sitting on the outside, observing without participating, was not what he was good at. Of course, Sharon knew that, and she had seen him run enough times to recognize the signs.
One night after dinner, when the kitchen had been cleaned and the children sent to bed, Sharon escorted Jack to the door. Instead of bidding him goodnight with a quick kiss on the cheek, she reached out for his hand, waiting for him to stop and look at her.
"Come take a walk with me?" she suggested quietly.
He nodded, waiting for her to put on a jacket and grab her keys off the small table in the foyer. They wandered down the quiet street in companionable silence for a while, and he sensed that she was thinking about how to bring up what was on her mind. Over the years of their marriage, Jack had learned to give his wife time to think and let her say whatever it was she needed to say when she was ready. She was not someone who liked to be pushed.
Sharon had a hard time finding a way to put words to the sinking feeling that had settled in her stomach a few days earlier. She knew what it meant. She had watched her husband fidget, she saw him avoid her eyes with increasing frequency. The signs were easily recognizable. He was getting restless again, but this time she was determined to talk to him about his impulse to run away before it was too late. She realized that she was setting herself up to be hurt, to be rejected, and that scared her more than she thought possible. Despite everything that had happened over the last few years, he still had the power to do that, but she hoped that maybe this time, he would choose to work with her to face their problems head on.
During the last couple of weeks that they had spent together, their physical contact had been limited to quick pats on his arm, a hand trailing over her shoulders in passing, and a quick kiss on the cheek when he left. She showed more affection to her friends than she had to her husband since his return. If she seriously wanted to fix what was broken between them, she would have to show him that there was still something for him to fight for.
Stepping even closer to him so that their shoulders and arms brushed against one another, she gently tapped his hand before she weaved her fingers through his. She sensed his eyes on her and looked up, giving him a shy smile.
They kept walking hand in hand, enjoying the closeness that had been missing for too long. "I know this is difficult for you," Sharon eventually started, her eyes on the pavement in front of her. "It's going to take time for you to find your way back into our lives. You missed so much." Feeling him tense beside her, she squeezed his hand reassuringly. "I don't want to rehash old arguments, Jack, and I don't want to keep pointing out your mistakes. That's not going to help anyone. We both did our part to bring us to this point." When he relaxed slightly once more, she continued. "That does not change the fact that you left. Our lives did not stop while you were gone. We learned to get by without you, and it's going to take time and effort for you to find your place in this family again and to regain the trust you gambled away."
He flinched at the dig at his addiction, as he thought about her words. They had talked about this before, when they had first gotten together two weeks earlier. He knew she had meant every word back then, but he had not imagined that it would be quite as frustrating as it turned out to be.
"So what is it you're saying?" He needed to know if there even was a point in all this, if she intended to ever let him come back all the way or if she was trying to prove a point by showing him how much he no longer was a part of his family.
"I don't know," she said, shrugging helplessly. "I want to try again, but I need to know that you're just as committed to making this work as I am. I don't want to leave the house in the morning wondering if I will be coming home to another one of your letters. If you can't love us enough to stay…" She took a deep breath, swallowing past the thick lump in her throat. Until that moment, Sharon had no idea how much she wanted him to stay, and how much she feared that he might not want to. When she went on, her voice was thick with the tears she was holding back. "If you can't stay, just be honest about it. We will work something out that everyone can live with, but I need you to understand that if you decide to leave, it will be the last time."
Jack stopped and gently tugged on Sharon's hand to pull her around to face him. He stepped into her personal space, carefully studying her expression to see if he was overstepping some invisible line. It hurt to see her look so vulnerable, her eyes a pale green, shining with unshed tears. For once, she allowed him a glimpse of her soul, and it took his breath away. There was so much pain, so many scars covering the barely healed wounds he had inflicted upon her over the years. But there was also so much warmth, and hope, and love. The realization that she still cared so much after everything that had happened between them made his insides flutter in a way he had not felt in a long time. It reminded him once more of all the reasons she had stolen his heart in the first place, and no matter how many times he had claimed that he was better off without her, that he was not made to be a husband and a father, he would never be free of her. He might find someone to warm his bed, someone who took care of his needs and made the loneliness go away for a little while, but his heart would always belong to this fierce, stubborn, beautiful, and generous woman. Maybe it was time for him to grow up and learn how to be what she needed him to be.
His free hand cupped her cheek, his thumb caressing the soft skin he found there. It sent a pleasant shiver down her spine as she gazed up into his eyes. Her breath caught in her throat and her heart skipped a beat when she saw the tenderness and love soften his gaze the way it had all those years ago, when they had been madly in love with each other, before reality had set in and everything had begun to fall apart.
"I don't want to leave you," he rasped as he slowly closed the distance between them to brush her lips with his in a feather-light touch. "I love you, Sharon." When he kissed her again, she moaned into his mouth, and slipping her arms around him, she drew him even closer, deepening their kiss.
Suddenly, all of it was back. The sensation of his body pressed against hers, his strong arms wrapped around her, the heady scent of his cologne mixed with the comforting smell that was uniquely his, all of it was so familiar, so dear to her. She got lost in him, their lips and tongues and teeth hungrily exploring, playfully dueling. She had thought that she would never feel this again. Not for her husband, but there it was, passion burning hot inside her veins, making her feel breathless and dizzy.
When they finally pulled apart to catch their breaths, their foreheads touching, she could not suppress the happy smile that tugged at her lips. His hands caressed her back, meaning to soothe, but doing the exact opposite. She wanted him, to feel his skin against hers, to reacquaint herself with his body, to lose herself in him until they both fell apart. Her reaction to him was visceral, and she felt it hot and moist between her thighs.
With a sad hum she stepped back, disentangling herself from his embrace, but keeping her hands on his chest as she looked up at him. They had almost rounded the block, their house only a few feet away. For a split second, she considered asking him to stay, but sense prevailed in the end. There was still so much they needed to discuss, so much they had to work through before they would be able to move on. It would do no good to rush into something they were not yet ready for.
Jack seemed to have come to the same conclusion. He let his hands rest on her hips, a sneaky thumb slipping underneath her shirt to brush over her bare skin, making her shiver. "I should go and let you get some sleep," he said with a soft smile. "Maybe you'll let me take you out some time this week. You know, a proper date. It's been a while, and we could talk about a few things."
She hummed dreamily as she thought about spending an evening with him without the distraction of their kids and all the things that reminded them of their painful past. "I would like that," she murmured before she captured his mouth in another lingering kiss.
They walked the rest of the way back to the house, pausing when they reached Jack's car, which was parked in the driveway. He leaned his back against the driver's side door and tugged her close until she stood between his slightly spread legs, her body pressed against his and her arms wound around his neck. There was a goofy smile on his lips as he kissed her once more.
Sharon was unable to resist teasing him a little bit. As she deepened their kiss, she slowly rolled her hips against him, groaning when she felt how much he wanted her. His hands slid down her back, cupping her ass and pulling her even closer as he kneaded the supple flesh. Once again, they got lost in their closeness as hands wandered and lips and tongues explored until, out of breath and flushed with arousal, they finally parted. Sharon took a big step back, out of reach of his questing hands.
"Good night, Jack," she said, her voice breathy as she smiled at him tenderly.
"Night. Sweet dreams. I'll be seeing you tomorrow," he replied before he turned, opened the door, and slipped into his car. Once he was settled, he rolled down the window and leaned out, grinning up at her as she stepped closer.
Sharon leaned down and placed a quick kiss on his lips, her fingers sliding through his hair to repair some of the damage she must have done while they had made out like crazy teenagers earlier. A few stubborn strands stood up from his otherwise neat hairdo, and she enjoyed his soft groan when she let her nails scratch over his scalp the way he liked it. "I'm looking forward to tomorrow," she whispered against his lips, before she pulled away with one final kiss.
As she watched Jack pull out of her driveway, she realized that it was true; she was looking forward to seeing him again. It had been a long time since that had been the case. She was always glad when he came back, mostly because their children missed him, and because she was concerned about him when he was not with them. The sense of complete, untarnished joy she felt at the moment was different, though.
She had not forgotten the pain and uncertainty he had brought upon his family, but for the first time in many years, Sharon was convinced that they would be able to move forward together. There were still many things to work out. He would have to work hard to regain her trust and that of their children. They would have to talk about what had happened while they had been apart. She did not wish to hear about his adventures any more than he probably wanted to know about Andy Flynn, but she felt that complete honesty would be necessary before they would be able to put the past behind them.
As she thought about Andy, her heart constricted painfully. Just because Jack was back did not mean that she suddenly stopped caring for the man who had been such an important part of her life over the last couple of years. She still missed him, and the guilt about that weighed heavily on her. He was not the kind of man one forgot easily, and it would take time for her to let go of the idea of them together. It was not about which man meant more to her. Andy was so very special to her with his kindness, his sense of humor, and his amazing hugs, but Jack was her husband. She had known him since college and had loved him ever since. He was the man she had promised forever to, and she still meant it. That was what they would be working on. The rest would fall into place somehow.
It was not until the following week that they managed to go on their date. Sharon had caught a series of cases that had kept her too busy to do much more than take care of the children and sleep. Jack did stop by the house as often as possible to share meals with his family or to help out with the kids when Sharon was kept at work late. On Friday, Sharon was finally able to leave the office early, and she arranged for Ricky and Emily to stay with friends in order to make sure they were not under any pressure to relieve the sitter. Jack had made reservations at a nice restaurant and had told her to be ready at half past six for him to pick her up.
The jitters Sharon felt as she got ready were unexpected. She had not been on a date in years, but it was not like she was meeting someone she did not know. And yet, she stood inside her closet, agonizing over what to wear. What message did she want to send him? The other night, when they had taken their walk, it had been pretty clear that she still had an effect on her husband, and it had felt good, but she was unsure how far she wanted the night to go.
After going back and forth between two different outfits, she finally settled on a dark red, long-sleeved wrap dress that hugged her upper body tightly, the low neckline showing more cleavage than she usually dared. The snug fit drew attention to her breasts, which she helped along slightly with a crimson lace pushup bra. Two children had taking their toll on her once pert assets, after all. The hemline of the dress did not quite reach her knees, her long, toned legs appearing even longer with the black high heels she chose. Soft, low-key makeup and a slight curl to her long hair completed the outfit.
When she opened the door for Jack at precisely six thirty, his reaction made her stomach flip over pleasantly, a blush rising into her cheeks as his hungry eyes slowly took in every square inch of her. When his gaze finally met hers, she swallowed hard at the raw desire she saw reflected in it. For a split second, she considered pulling him into the house and skipping dinner, but sense ultimately prevailed. They had agreed on a date, and she was determined to go through with it, even if she was sure that he would not mind if they spent all evening in bed.
Grabbing her small purse and her keys off the hallway table, she closed and locked the door behind her and, taking the arm Jack offered, she allowed him to lead her to his car. Before he opened the passenger side door for her, he drew her into a keep, passionate kiss, pushing her back against the car, his hands roaming over her sides and back. She looped her arms around his neck and pulled him even closer, moaning as their tongues touched. When he finally eased out of the kiss, he let his lips trail along her jaw to nibble at her earlobe.
"God, you look amazing," he growled into her ear, briefly rolling his hips against her to show her what she was doing to him.
Sharon hummed as she felt his arousal pressed into her belly, her eyes still closed as she trembled in his arms. His tongue was toying with the sensitive spot just beneath her ear, and his cologne made her dizzy with hunger for him.
"You don't look so bad yourself," she replied, her voice husky.
When he pulled away, she patted his chest, her fingers playing with his red tie. The color almost fit that of her dress, and it looked amazing with his black suit and white shirt.
"Let's get going before I change my mind and forget that I wanted to be a gentleman tonight," he warned as he opened the door for her, waiting until she was settled in her seat before he closed it and walked around the car to slide into his own seat. As soon as he had navigated the car out of the driveway, he reached out for her hand, clasping it where it rested on her thigh. It was hard to resist the temptation to let his fingers explore the bare skin of her knee, to inch up her skirt and caress her inner thigh until she allowed her legs to fall apart enough for him to reach the moist heat he knew he would find at their apex. He wanted nothing more at that moment than to make her fall apart in his arms over and over again, but the evening was not about that. She had asked him to take things slow, to give them both time to get used to each other again. He had no intention of sabotaging that, no matter how hard she made it for him to stay in control of his desire.
Jack had picked a small Italian restaurant in Santa Monica. The place was bathed in candlelight, soft classical music playing in the background. There were few tables, leaving plenty of space between each one for some privacy. It was a romantic little place, and Sharon squeezed his hand in appreciation as he led her to their table.
Their dinner was very pleasant. The service was great, the food delicious, and their conversation ranging from serious to hilarious as they discussed work, their kids, their relationship, and old times. At some point, while they were waiting for dessert, Sharon slipped out of her shoes and discreetly caressed his legs underneath the table. She did not dare to let them travel any farther than his knees, but judging from the darkening of his eyes, that was more than enough to affect him. They barely noticed the plate of apple pie that appeared in front of them as they gazed at one another, their hands clasped on the table.
The last bite of their dessert was not quite polished off when Jack requested the check. A few minutes later, they were outside, walking hand in hand towards the parking lot.
"Do you want me to take you home or would you like to take a walk on the beach?" Jack asked quietly as they reached the car.
Sharon looked up at him, one hand curled around his tie, pulling him closer. "Take me home," she rasped before she captured his lips in a deep kiss, leaving no doubt as to what her intentions were once they got home.
At some point during dinner she had decided that there really was no point denying them what they both wanted so badly. She did not think that waiting would change anything. She had already opened her heart to him again. Either he would stay or he would leave, today, next week, or in a year. It would not make much of a difference; it would break her heart either way. She was ready to trust him again, hoping that it would help him be strong and continue to confront his problems instead of running from them. Despite the many times he had disappointed her she needed to move forward. Jack was her husband, and she still loved him very much.
It took almost more restraint than either of them had to step away from one another long enough to get into the car and take themselves home. They barely made it into the house. As soon as Jack had rushed around the car and helped Sharon out of it, she wound her arms around his neck and latched onto his mouth for another hungry, passionate kiss. Somehow, they managed to lock the car before they stumbled up the steps to the house. Sharon fumbled with the keys, not bothering to look what she was doing while her free hand took hold of Jack's butt, pulling his lower body close. It took long minutes for her to unlock the door, and as soon as they stepped through, Sharon dropped the keys and her purse onto the floor, missing the hallway table by several inches. Her attention was on Jack's tie already, her fingers busy loosening it enough to pull it over his head. When she started unbuttoning his shirt, Jack blindly reached out behind him to close the door, waving his arm until he finally got hold of it, letting it smash into the lock with a resounding bang. Once they were shielded from the outside world, he did not lose another second, feeling for the tie at the side of her dress and pulling at it until it opened, allowing his fingers to feather over her exposed skin, making her shiver against him.
Once her dress had fallen to the ground, Jack turned them around and backed her against the door, letting his eyes feast on her. She felt her skin tingle under his hungry gaze, feeling a little self-conscious as he kept staring wordlessly. It had been a while since she had allowed him to see her like that, in sexy lingerie and flushed with arousal. For the last few years, their encounters had lacked passion. She was unable to remember the last time they had wanted one another with such desperation or when she had last dressed up with thoughts of what he would think when he undressed her later.
Taking a deep breath, she pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and, looking him in the eyes, she let her hands trail down his bare chest until they reached his belt buckle. When he groaned and closed his eyes, she briefly cupped his obvious arousal, grinning wickedly when he thrust into her touch. He opened his eyes again when she started working his pants open determinedly.
"You're so damn sexy," he rasped into her ear before he attacked her sensitive neck with his lips and teeth, blazing a path all the way down to the edge of her bra. Her nipples strained against the rough fabric, and she whimpered when he flicked his thumb over them, the friction sending sparks all the way down to her toes.
He spent endless minutes lavishing attention on her breasts, stroking, kneading, pinching her nipples until she whimpered, before he finally tugged the red lace down, allowing them to spill out of their confinement, free for his lips, and teeth, and tongue to spoil. By the time his mouth returned to hers, she was almost incoherent with desire, the evidence of it soaking her underwear.
Sharon was unable to recall doing it, but at some point she had pushed down Jack's pants, and they were pooling around his ankles, trapped there by the shoes he was still wearing. She was in a daze, grateful for the solid door behind her, as she watched him struggle out of his shoes and pants. His desperate fight for freedom from the confining items was comical, and she huffed a breathless laugh at the display he presented. His briefs did nothing to hide his need as they strained to contain him.
Knowing what awaited her, barely hidden by the black fabric, she licked her lips in anticipation, already formulating a plan of attack. First, she would have to navigate them into the bedroom, however, which, given the hungry look with which he consumed her, might be a challenge.
Once his mobility was restored and the only items of clothing separating them were their underwear and her askew bra, Jack attacked her mouth with renewed fervor, pinning her hands against the door above her head when she tried to slip them into his briefs. She arched her back, pressing her breasts against his chest, hoping to relieve the painful need for stimulation. For a split second, a treacherous thought of another chest entered her mind, one covered in thick, coarse hair that would provide the friction she sought. She banished that thought as quickly as it had appeared, resolved not to let past mistakes, his or her own, come between them. They would have to discuss that soon enough.
When she was ready to burst with the anticipation of his touch where she really needed it, she tore her wrists out of his hold and gave his shoulders a strong push, causing him to stumble backwards a few steps. "Bedroom," she commanded as she grabbed his hand and dragged him upstairs, their clothes forgotten on the floor of the foyer.
On their way, they bumped into walls, pausing to kiss and touch one another. When she stumbled while backing up the stairs in front of him, she took him with her as she went down, landing in a sitting position on one of the steps with Jack braced on his hands and knees, hovering above her. She barely had time to register the slight pain of her landing when his predatory leer took her breath away. She knew what he was going to do even before he started tugging at her panties, urging her to lift her butt so he would be able to slide them off and toss them behind him. And then he was on her, his lips and tongue trailing down her stomach until they reached her swollen folds. She moaned when his hands pushed her legs farther apart as he lapped up the seemingly endless flood of her desire.
Her fingers slipped into his short hair, nails scratching his scalp as she drew him closer, her hips bucking against him when he started suckling on her engorged clit and two of his long digits began to probe her opening. With each moan and whimper, Jack increased the intensity of his assault, pumping his fingers into her at a frantic pace, his tongue and teeth working her clit.
She was so close. Every nerve ending in her body was ablaze with pleasure as her heart raced and her lungs struggled for breath. Sharon was unable to remember a time when Jack had created these feelings inside her, when he had been able to push her over the edge in mere minutes, but it had been a while since he had last paid so much attention to her needs.
When he curled his fingers slightly every time he withdrew them from her depth, she came with a loud scream, making her grateful that no one was close enough to hear her.
Except Jack, and he did not mind in the least. He watched her closely, slowing his thrusts to a soft pulsing as he allowed her to ride out her orgasm. She was magnificent in the way she selfishly took pleasure from his touch. In that moment, as he stared at his beautiful wife, her body flushed and glistening with a thin sheen of sweat, he wanted to weep. He had carelessly tossed away so many years, had sought the cheap thrill of booze, and games, and easy women when she had been at home all along, waiting for him, hoping that he would come back to her. He had used her, cheated her out of the money she needed to feed and clothe their kids, and yet, here she was, once again taking him back, giving herself to him completely. He did not deserve her, but he did not have it in him to let her go, either.
When he carried her the rest of the way upstairs and to their bed, he swore to himself that he would be better for her. As she welcomed him into her depth, her slick walls gripping him tightly, as her legs wrapped around him, he promised that he would not disappoint her again. With her screams of release ringing in his ears, he vowed to be the husband and father his family needed as he spilled his release into the condom she had insisted he wear until he got himself tested. It was one of those little things he would do for her, because she asked him to, because he owed it to her.
Later, when she had fallen asleep with her head resting on his shoulder and an arm and a leg draped over him as if she was scared he would get up and leave, he asked God to help him, to give him the strength he would need to fight his weaknesses. He prayed for guidance as the knot of fear settled deep in his stomach.
~TBC~