Thank you to Fire1!
I noticed that there were a few people who had concerns about my lack of updating this story, As I said in the last chapter, My dad died, and I have been very busy handling his estate and such, real life ALWAYS takes priority over my writing. That's life. I made a commitment to take over this story and make it better, and to finish it, and that is still my plan. I will NOT abandon this story, I promise! Please be patient as I work through my real life issues, while finding time to work on this story, PLUS homeschool my children. I will TRY to do better, and get chapters out to you as quickly as I can!
Now, with that being said, I hope everyone is enjoying this story so far! I was able to get this chapter out quicker then I thought I would!
Enjoy!
~~NoT~~
Edwards POV:
It has been six days since I fled Forks and ran to our extended family at their home in the Denali Wilderness in Alaska. They are the only other vegetarian vampires we are aware of. They were waiting for me when I arrived, and only muttered 'Alice' when I was surprised to see the welcoming committee. I should have known she would have called ahead.
Tanya was hoping that I would spend more time with her, but she was sorely put out when I informed her that I was not here for a social call, what I needed was the space and emptiness that the wilderness had to offer so I could sort through my thoughts and feelings. I did not need the interference of surrounding minds getting jumbled with my own thoughts.
I laid back into the snow pile I had created like a silky cushion, letting the snow form around my body like a sheet of silk, of course the temperature didn't bother me, and looked up into the night sky. To the north the Aurora Borealis danced against the sky, it would have been beautiful if my vision was not blurred by her face, and the events that led me here were not playing out in the back of my mind, swirling, and calling my attention.
The day had started much like any other day at Forks High School. The only way to describe it would be mundane. I did notice that today there was a severe lack of thoughts about me and my family, which was a nice change of pace. All good things must come to a screeching halt though, as by second period the thoughts started up again, it was slow, but at least it wasn't the vulgar thoughts and fantasies that usually play out. It didn't make much sense, as they were comparing us to the new student, Isabella Swan. She had to repeatedly tell others that she didn't know us, nor was she related to us, nor has she ever met us.
The girl- Isabella seemed to have the same pale skin as us, she was just about as beautiful as we are, and I discovered that she smelled very alluring, much like we do. She was skinny, with a heart shaped face, long brown hair with tints of red; the length fell just below her waist.
She was nothing like what the students were expecting, for one thing she was not tan in the least. I even had to admit that it was unusual for someone who lived in Phoenix. She was quickly becoming the star in most of the males' sexual fantasies, like some shiny new toy. It took me off guard how much this seemed to distress me. When the stress got to be too much, I decided I should tune the thoughts out the best I could and concentrate on schoolwork, mainly as a distraction. Unusual events will lead to unusual behavior.
During lunch my family and I sat at our usual table in the back of the room, as far away from the human children we could get. It had been just over two weeks since our last hunting trip, and Jasper was having a hard time with his thirst. He was the newest to our 'vegetarian life' and it was still hard for him to be around humans all day when we go so long without hunting.
Alice put her hand on his and projected her love and acceptance to him. Jasper is an empath, so he can feel the emotions of those around him, and can also send emotions out to others, or to a whole room. Alice could always take his mind off his thirst; after all she is his mate.
'… Edward Cullen…'
Out of reflex I turned to my name being thought. I always thought it was strange that I was more sensitive to thoughts rather than spoken word. I regretted turning when I realized it was Jessica Stanley, I should have known. When we had first arrived in Forks, she would always place me beside her in her rather vulgar fantasies, it was such a relief when she turned her attention to Mike Newton. My eyes swept right over hers and looked into an unexpected pair of deep brown eyes, with just a bit of black in them. The black was similar to the way our eyes get when we haven't fed in a while, or when we are aroused.
The girl blushed, enhancing the features of her heart shaped face, but the embarrassment was clear in her eyes and on her face as she lowered her eyes from mine. I could hear Jessica telling her all the gossip about my family.
I was bored seeing her in the thoughts of others, but it was nice to see her for myself. The boys were right, she was a stunning young woman, stunning for a human I corrected myself quickly.
I informed my family, out of habit, that Jessica was telling the new girl about us. Everyone with the exception of Emmett was bored with the news. He wasn't really that interested, but he asked me anyway.
"So Eddie, what does she think about us? Is Jessica making it good and giving her a good scare?" It was my responsibility to know these things, given that I am the mind reader. I acted as the look out for our family, making sure that no one ever learned the truth of what we are, or came close to figuring it out. It was the one and only rule of being a vampire. Keep the secret!
I turned my attention to the pair to hear what it was this new girl was thinking about us, I felt a void where her mind should be. Odd, thought, and then I thought that perhaps she just didn't have anything going through her mind. Confused, I looked up at her and could see that she had an interested look on her face as she listened to Jessica. Clearly she was thinking something. Her eyes told me that she was taking in everything that was being told to her, and probably making very clever connections about them. I tried to listen harder, which only caused all the other voices I was blocking to just blast back into my head.
Jessica, on the outside was good at faking friendships, but her thoughts always betrayed her. She was a very petty and fickle girl. She only wanted the girl around to be in the middle with her as she was the center of attention. And she fully intended on enjoying the ride for as long as possible. She was also boiling mad at the fact that Mike wasn't paying any attention to her; he was too caught up ogling the new girl.
Lauren was just as bad, if not worse. She was wildly jealous of the new girl for 'stealing' the attention of the boys, which she thought belonged to only her. She had no basis for this jealously, because I knew, and deep down she knew that none of males actually liked her. But because she was so self-centered, it made her feel entitled.
Mike was letting his mind wander, he was trying to mentally undress her, trying to picture what it would be like to have her in his bed. I quickly left his mind; it was a disgusting place to be.
Tyler's mind was just as bad, and very unnerving. He was actually considering driving over to her house and trying to get a peek at her undressing through the window. I left his mind quickly as well.
My reaction to their thoughts surprised me. I wanted to go over to the table and take the girl away from them; she needed shielding from their ugly minds. I forced myself further from their minds, trying desperately to shake off the strange dirty feelings their minds left on me.
Ben and Connor's minds were similar, they had both surmised that she was one of the prettiest girls they had ever seen, but, just like Alice and Rose, she was out of their league. Ben was also thinking that she was a lot like his crush, Angela. They were both rather shy, and a bit skittish, and they were both really nice. I found myself happy that their minds were not like Mike and Tyler's. At least there were still some males out there with some respect.
Angela, like always, had one of the gentlest minds in the school. She felt bad for the girl, she could see how hard it was for her to sit there with people she didn't know looking at her like she was a piece of candy. She wondered why she looked so scared when people asked her questions about herself, like she didn't want to tell anyone about herself; she took that to mean that she was shy. She also could not help but think the girl looked like a porcelain doll, and I couldn't help but to agree with her; she did look rather fragile and delicate.
I took all this in while realizing one very unsettling fact: I could hear every person in this room, and know what they were thinking about, without having to look, but where the girl sat, where her thoughts should be, I could hear nothing. I could not hear the thoughts of Isabella Swan. Anxiety overcame me, this has never happened before. Was I broken? Was it temporary? Could I fix it?
This could get severely frustrating!
Jessica had been telling her how we were all 'adopted' and or 'foster kids', at the end of Jessica's little speech, the girl spoke her hidden thoughts, her voice ringing like golden wind chimes to my secretively listening ears.
"They sound like wonderful people to do so much for them." I assumed she was referring to my parents. The look in hers eyes when she glanced over to our table showed she meant what she said. They were also filled with respect, it made me smile that she obviously saw their kindness despite the rather disparaging picture Jessica was trying to paint of us.
Jessica continued her dissertation on us, rambling on about how all of us are either taken, or 'too good for anyone here', and I gave a miniscule smirk at her bitter tone.
'Even if I were to be attracted to a human, Miss Stanley, it most certainly would not be you!' I did feel slight remorse that the thought would never reach her dim, childish, selfish mind, how I would have loved to see and hear that reaction.
Jasper mentally called out to me just then, pulling me from the thoughts of those around us. "Hey man, what's with the emotional rollercoaster? They are all over the place! Get a grip!"
Before I could answer him, Alice was thrown into a vision.
I was running as fast as I could, a look of shame, rage, and desperation on my face. Running through the forest towards the north, towards Alaska.
The vision had ended there, Alice and I looked at each other, both of us in complete shock. Alice's mental voice shouted out to me, 'we need to talk about this Edward, let's go out into the hall.'
We both left our seats, and walked through the crowded cafeteria, through the double doors and then a small distance away from the students that were lingering out in the hallway. As we walked, her mind was full of worry, and concern, and I was just confused. Why was I running? What did I have to feel ashamed of? And the biggest question, what had led to this decision?
'Edward, what's going on? Why are you leaving us?' Her pained mental voice asked me. I almost couldn't bear to look down at her anguished face. Of all my siblings, she was the one that I was closest to, the one I most wanted safe and happy. And although it wasn't logical to blame myself for the pain this vision caused, I did anyway.
"I'm not leaving any of you." I reassured her, filling my voice with comfort and confidence. But a big part of me was on edge. What had I chosen in the last couple of minutes, or what would I choose in the next few hours that would cause me to run? Alice's vision would play out in the very near future. If the vision comes true, I was wearing the exact same clothes as I'm wearing now.
Alice scoured my future again, trying to get some answers. Her new vision showed me sitting in biology class, and that's it, I was just sitting there; though I did seem tenser than usual, nothing was amiss. Then I was running again, and she came out of her vision. She looked right at me with those big dark puppy eyes that she does so well, she was all kinds of sad, and hurting, silently pleading with me. 'Edward, please don't leave.' Something was very wrong here, why would I run? Alice's bottom lip started to tremble, and I knew we had reached the final straw. She was pouting, and I knew the only way to make her happy again was to call the freaking U.N.
I looked straight down into her eyes and with complete confidence said: "Alice, I am not going anywhere. Trust me." I ended with my trademark half smirk to help with the convincing. But with her being the all seeing pixie vampire she did not look convinced at all. So I turned around and went straight to my Advanced Biology class. I was determined to prove her wrong; Edward Cullen was NOT a runner!
I sat at my table going over my day again and again in my mind trying to figure out what would cause me to run away from everyone and everything. But I could not find anything for the life of me, okay, maybe the only thing that was different was the silent girl, but that shouldn't be enough to make me run.
She wasn't that scary.
All of a sudden Mr. Banner looked up at the classroom door, the girl was standing there. I saw her in his mind, she was rather awkward and nervous looking. As he looked at her, his mind flashed to the face of her mother as she had looked at her age, when she had also been his student here. But then his mind flickered to another face, one that looked eerily similar to both her and her mother. She could have been the mother's twin. Well, that was the first time I'd heard of this.
I watched her through Mr. Banner's eyes. He did not take in her face as I did; she looked like she was very happy about something. I realized with a jolt that she was looking straight at my back. Well, looks like it is time to meet my new lab partner, seeing as I am the only one in this class without one. I wonder why Alice didn't see this?
She made her way up to Mr. Banner, coming down the aisle closest to my seat. Just as she passed under the heating vent however, everything changed.
When her scent hit my throat, it was glorious, and terrible, absolutely mouth watering, destroying all my will power, and oh so intoxicating, it smelled of freesias and strawberries. I no longer had any of the humanity I had worked so hard to foster.
I froze, the result of two instincts: one, not to alarm her, to lull the prey into a false sense of security, then attack. The second, to not reveal myself for what I was, although I could have easily killed the rest of the children, my self-preservation was still there.
One fact still remained: I was a predator, and she was my prey.
It took all of my will power to not grab her and drain her dry right then and there. I looked at her as she walked past, and I could see the monster I really was reflected back at me. I hated that monster, and I hated her for bringing him out in me. But seeing myself that way allowed me to somewhat regain some self-control, enough to realize I could hold my breath, that I HAD to hold my breath.
The girl sat down next to me, and I could feel the heat coming off her in waves, also intensifying her scent. One thing that was not coming off her however was her thoughts, and this unnerved me all over again. I felt blind, helpless, and defeated, she was making it all too tempting to just kill everyone there and satiate myself with her blood. However, I knew I mustn't do it. It would expose us beyond any shadow of a doubt, and I simply couldn't be responsible for that. I am stronger then this! I can and will resist!
As the class progressed, I sat there watching the girl with hate-filled eyes. I knew my hate was unjust, but it felt like she was sent here specifically to be my undoing. Throughout the class, she would peek at me through her hair, probably hoping that she was being secretive.
She held sadness and confusion in her eyes, like she knew what she was doing to me and regretted it. I knew there was kindness in herm but I couldn't bring myself to care.
After what seemed like eons, the bell rang, releasing me from my fiery hell. Yes, there was fire; I could still feel it in my throat, begging me to cool it with her blood. I knew then, that if I were to win against the monster in me, I would have to run. I could not let the monster in me win! So for the first time I had to run from temptation. I now knew what Alice's vision was about.
The scene ended, having replayed in front of my eyes for the thousandth time since my arrival here six days ago. But this time something stuck out; I was not the kind of man who ran from his problems. So what was I doing here? I needed to face this head on, I would not let this girls scent keep me from my family, whom I loved and cherished dearly.
I looked up at the sky again, but still could not see it. Her face was still staring down at me, asking a silent question. What would this mean for her? I had no answer for her, but I knew that I would have to find a way to cage the monster and I would not let her keep me from where I belonged.
I stood to bid my extended family farewell, and to head home. I knew Alice would see me coming, so it was definitely time to leave this place. On my way out of the wilderness, I repeated to myself over and over again: Edward Cullen is NOT a runner!
I sure hope this mantra would be enough!
~~NoT~~