Hey guys, I got a few question about why Renesmee is acting like this. With time it will become clear why she despises the Cullens so much.

RPOV

The blood was soaking his shirt. His face was white as marble as he applied pressure on the wound. I couldn't believe I actually shot him. I never intended to. I just wanted to scare him and making sure that BOLO wouldn´t be any trouble anymore. And now he was sitting here with a bullet wound in his shoulder. I was panicking, I barely panicked. Ever. But now I was full blown panicking.

'Renesmee' he whispered. His voice sounded weak but his eyes were still focused on me.

'I…. I'm so sorry. I really didn't mean to shoot you' I exclaimed while I ran a hand through my hair. I pulled of a strands of hair, but that didn't matter right now. He was bloody dying.

'The paramedics are on their way' I said not knowing what to do now.

'Will you stay until they arrive?" He whispered weakly. I was highly doubting his intentions. With this BOLO out they would surely try to take me in. And even without this BOLO: I shot him. They would surely try to arrest me.

'I can't. I'm sorry' I whispered while my hand reached for the door handle. He caught my wrist with his hand and I was surprised how much strength he still had. I heard sirens in the background. It was time to go. I pulled my arm loose and with an apologetic look got out of the car. I grabbed the phone from my pocket and threw it on the seat. Then I shut the door and hurried away. Shit.

I rushed out of the parking garage and when I saw out of sight I pressed myself against a wall to catch my breath. I closed my eyes trying to calm myself, but instead I had to throw up. Oh god what did I do? Every time I tried to fix something it just went to shit. I made things so much worse now, I wiped my mouth with my arms and took a few deep breaths.

JPOV

The paramedics were there a few minutes later. Everything went in a blur.. I know they sedated me, or at least tried to, I needed a second shot before I lost consciousness. When I woke up again I was in a hospital bed with Sarah holding my hand. It took me a few seconds to get ahold of myself. There was a faint sense of pain in my shoulder, but the painkillers took the edge of it. However, I was quite dizzy and focusing was hard right now.

'Hey babe..' Sarah said while she pinched my hand. 'How are you feeling?'

'Not that great' I grunted. She smiled and bend over to kiss me on the cheek. 'I'm so sorry about this, I wish I never asked you to help out. Then you wouldn't…'

'It's not your fault' I interrupted her. It was the truth. This wasn't her fault. She had nothing to do with this. I slowly sat up and inspected my arm, as far as I could see there were no permanent damage. I could still use and feel everything. That was good. My mind wandered back to Renesmee's terrified face. How she stared at me in horror.

'Is there anything I can do for you babe?' Sarah asked me. I gave her a weak smile and shook my head.

'I'll be fine' I said trying to reassure her.

'What happened?' She asked me 'Who shot you?'

I couldn't tell her.. I needed to tell her eventually that Renesmee was my imprint, but not now. I was too tired. I was going to tell her tomorrow. Or the day after that.

'Go home babe and get some sleep. I'll do the same and we'll talk tomorrow okay?' I said. She searched for my eyes and nodded when she found them. Her kind blue eyes locked with mine and I saw the worry and guilt in them. I broke our eyecontact, not able to handle that right now. Even though Renesmee was my imprint I still cared for Sarah. Hell she pulled me out hell. We spent five years together, caring for each other, helping each other with everything we could. I was even planning on proposing next year if things stayed this way. But they didn't: everything I felt for her was nothing what I felt in comparison to my feeling for Renesmee. It was like everything I felt for Sarah suddenly was shallow and somehow I felt really crap about that. She deserved better.

'Ofcourse. I'll see you tomorrow'

When she left the room I let out a sight. This was some fucked up shit. Even though it was an accident it was still fucked up. How could this happen? I was sure she didn't mean to shoot me but still, I was in the hospital now. Carlisle walked in with his clipboard. He frowned when he saw me.

'I saw you name on one of the patients sheets, what happened ?' He asked while he sat down on the same place Sarah had been minutes ago.

'She shot me' I said.

'What?' His face was worried. He furrowed his brows as he looked at me expectedly, needing to hear more.

'She was in my car after the Carnival. Holding me at gunpoint, she was angry that I put out a BOLO on her' I explained briefly.

'I don't think she meant to shoot at me. She was as horrified as I was. She completely panicked' I added feeling the need to defend her.

'This can't go on any longer. We need to find her. I don't know what is happening in her life and what she is doing. But how she is acting right now is just not done' Carlisle said. I couldn't agree more.

'Get some rest. We will handle the rest for now' Carlisle said while he laid a hand on my shoulder, my other shoulder. Just as he stood up my phone started buzzing. Carlisle was helpful enough to get it for me and handed it to me. It was an unknown number.

'Do you want me to pick it up for you?' He asked me. I just nodded, I was too tired to speak now.

'Dr Carlisle' he answered. There was a silence while the caller spoke. As soon as she did Carlisle's eyes found mine and he mouthed 'It's her'.

RPOV

I was down to my fourth glass already. I sat on the couch hugging my knees. O dear lord. How could this happen ? My whole life was one big fuck up right now. I was feeling guilty, which was a new emotion for me. I couldn't stop thinking about all that blood… not in a hungry way. But the image tortured my tired mind. Maybe I killed him, I would be a murderer. Even though I was raised with vampires, I only drank from bloodbags. I didn't kill people, that was not my style.

'Dammit' I mumbled to myself while flicking through the channels. There was nothing on the television that could keep my attention.

'Fuck it' I said to myself as I poured in another glass. The alcohol was flooding through my veins making me a little woozy. I needed to know if he was still alive. I grabbed my phone and turned my privacy settings to 'Unknown'. I dialed his number, I was smart enough to get his number when his phone was in my possession. The phone rang two times before it was answered.

'Dr Carlisle'

'Is he okay?' I stammered in the phone.

'Well not really' The doctor answered.

'Oh my god' I whimpered. This couldn't be happening. Oh god no.

'He is in critical condition' Carlisle continued. I didn't knew what to say, how to respond so I said nothing. 'He asked for you'

'He asked for me?' I said with a little voice. Why would he ask for me?

'Yes he asked for you' Carlisle confirmed again.

I ended the call. As soon as the caller id faded from the screen and my phone told me the call was ended I burst out crying. I hugged my knees as I bawled my eyes out. My whole body started shaking and I grabbed my glass to get another sip. As I took the sip I felt the need to cough. I couldn't stop it and coughed up the alcohol in my hand. I dropped the glass on the floor when a sharp pain went through my chest. I needed to cough again. Blood splashed on my hand, there was blood in my air pipe now making me cough even harder. More blood on my hands and arms, it was dripping from the corners of my mouth now. I took a few deep breath to calm down. Staring at the blood on my hands I realized this was bad. Really bad. I wanted my mom. I needed my mom to help me. I was scared…

The next morning I woke up with a huge headache. Even after I drank one blood bag it didn't seem to ease. When I checked my phone I noticed I had an e-mail. There was an address in it. Nothing more, just an address. I checked the e-mailaddress of the sender but it didn't seem familiar. When I was searching for my mother I left this e-mailaddress with a few of our contacts. We used burner phones for a while, so we corresponded by e-mail a lot, making sure I wouldn't have to exchange numbers everytime I switched phones. I wondered who send this. But this lead was the only lead in months, I had to check it out. It didn't matter if it was a trap or not. I was dying anyway, on this rate I wouldn't last very long. So what the hell.

I slowly got dressed. I was postponing my bathroom ritual. Brushing my teeth made my gums bleed, brushing my hair made sure more strands would fall out by the time I was done. When I looked in the mirror there were black rings under my eyes. I grabbed my things ordered a taxi.

'O god mom, I really hope you are there' I whispered to myself. I was really losing it.

The building was an old storage for car parts. The dust and dirt told me they didn't use it anymore. When I walked in a rat scurried before my feet. Uh, gross.

'Moooom?' I yelled while making my way into the building. The place seemed deserted.

'Moooooooom?' I tried again while walking up the stairs. There was no one downstairs. My only hope was the room upstairs now. The door was locked. I tried to push it open, but it didn't bulge.
Desperately I kicked against in, again and again until it finally swung open. I was feeling lightheaded by the time it opened and slowly tried to catch my breath. I closed my eyes for a few seconds and took a deep breath praying that I would find a clue in the next room. I had to find something, this couldn't be the end of me. The room was dusty and had surely been abandoned for years. There was no trace of my mother, no hints, no clues. It had been a false lead.

Angry I grabbed the chair and threw it down the stairs. Somehow that made me feel a little better. In burning rage I trashed the room. I threw the desk against the wall. Shattered all the glass that was present and tore of all the posters and calendars. Bitter I stared at the ravage I made. I kicked against a book that escaped my wrath and screamed.

'FUCK. FUCK. FUCK' I screamed angrily against the nothingness. I turned and made my way downstairs. Running out of breath I sat down on the stairs, I hugged my knees and couldn't help hot tears welling from my eyes. A soft sob came from my chest, followed by many more.

Suddenly I saw something from the corner of my eye. A man was standing there staring me. I wiped away my tears and stood up. I narrowed my eyes when I noticed there were more. I should've known. It was a trap, I should've known. But I had to try anyway..

'Renesmee' his voice was surprisingly calm. I said nothing I just glared at him. When my eyes scanned the room I noticed they were blocking every darn exit. Goddammit. My mother taught me better than this, I should be ashamed of myself.

I slowly walked down the stairs and walked until I was face to face with him. His eyes took me in, everything about me it seemed. There was curiosity and wonder in his eyes when he looked at me. But he was also on his guard. Couldn't these goddamn people leave me alone?

'Get out of my way' I hissed while I clutched my teeth. All the anger I had inside of me was focused on him right now. He looked at me with those golden eyes and said nothing. He also didn't move an inch.

'I said get out of my way' I said while I tried to push him. Pushing a vampire was like pushing a solid rock. He didn't move an inch and it probably hurt me more than it him.

'Renesmee' His voice tried to soothe me. I covered my ears with my hands and turned around.

'I don't want to talk to you. I don't want to….' I couldn't finish my sentence as a coughing fit came over me. This one was even worse than the last one. Oh shit not now, not with them. They couldn't see me like this. I thought as I fell on my knees and spit out the blood. Darn, this was really bad. I quickly stood up again trying to shake of the dizziness that flooded over me. His face was worried, his eyes turned soft. But I knew they were dangerous. I needed to get out, I did it before so I could do it again. Carlisle rushed forward taking his place next to Edward. I wiped the blood from my mouth and tried to find an exit. They were everywhere, in front of every fucking exit.

Carlisle's golden eyes inspected me and they seemed to have a conversation without words.

'Renesmee calm down. We are not going to hurt you. We are here to help' Carlisle shht me in his doctors voice.

'I'm fine' I hissed and decided I would make a run for it. Maybe if I screamed someone would hear me and come to the rescue.

'What is it you people want from me?' I whimpered. I was so dizzy, I stumbled on my feet reaching for something that would help keep my balance. Cool hands grabbed me. Holding my hands, other cold hands steadied me from behind, making sure I wouldn't fall over. The world was spinning around me and darkness was setting in slowly.

'Let go of me. I'm fine' I mumbled and tried to pull back my arms. I couldn't let these people take me, I had to fight. I had to fight them..

'Carlisle ?' I heard someone say and the next second I felt a little sting in my neck. The darkness came quicker now and my legs weren't able to carry me anymore. I fell... But someone caught me and lifted me up in their ams.

I would like me some reviewers :)