I stare, horrified at my reflection in my bathroom mirror. Where is he? I shouldn't see myself, I should see him. Our connection is open, so why can't I see him?

I know I'm in denial. I know that when you experience the sense of your soulmate in reality and not through the connection it disappears permanently except for the emotions. But I was hoping it was my imagination fooling me.

I can still feel his comfort and concern trying to reach out to me, but I keep pushing it away.

How could he have been so close to me without either of us knowing? He has worked at that damn diner for almost two years as far as I know and the bus stop I have used for longer than that is on the same block.

How many times have we almost ran into each other?

The connection finally breaks - I had opened it accidentally because of the sheer, sudden panic when I ran away from the diner. I saw him in the reflection of a shop I ran past, physically taken aback by my panic and holding himself up on the counter. The image had washed way slowly even though our connection was still open, so I cursed and ran faster, keeping my head down until I made it to my apartment building despite the burn in my legs and my lungs.

Now, he's really gone, but still here. And I'm conflicted.

I could still feel his emotions but I can't see him anymore. It's killing me. I always wished I hadn't been paired with a soulmate but now that I can't even see him. . .

It felt so lonely.

I sigh, hunching over the sink. "What the hell is wrong with me?" I groan, rubbing the heels of my hands into my eyes. Without thinking, I grab my phone and call Pidge.

She picks up on the third ring. "Hey, Keysmith."

"Hey, Pig Den. You're losing your touch," I respond, laughing shakily when I hear her snort. "You busy?"

"Only studying for my midterm on computer sciences in astrophysics, but not much I suppose," she says sarcastically.

I roll my eyes, "Midterms aren't for another few weeks. Do you want to hang out when you're done? We could go play video games for free at Best Buy for a few hours."

She's silent for a moment. "You drive a hard bargain," she starts, "I'm studying with someone right now, but I'll meet you at Best Buy in an hour and a half."

"Cool, I'll see you then, Pigtails," I smirk.

"Enough with the 'pig' ones-" she shouts. I cut her off, hanging up the phone. I look back up in the mirror at my reflection. I look exhausted and sickly in the fluorescent lighting, but that's nothing new.

My stomach brings my attention to the fact I still haven't had lunch and it's nearly three in the afternoon now. I leave the bathroom and grab some leftover pizza from a week ago for lunch and decide to distract myself with schoolwork until I meet Pidge.

"I'm offended you started without me, Pudgey," I say, walking up to her.

Pidge doesn't look away from the sample game she's playing on some new console when she says, "Nice try, but you've used that one before, Kettle. Besides, you're the one who's late."

I grab a controller and join her game, "I lost track of time."

"So, why the spontaneous invite to hang out?" Pidge casually ignores my taunt even though I can tell she's worried.

"It's nothing. How was studying?" I ask to change the subject. Luckily, she gets the hint and reluctantly answers my question.

"It was pretty good, actually. You know how I usually get super frantic and stressed when studying? The guy I was with, Hunk, was really nice and laid-back and he made it pretty fun," she says before jumping up excitedly when she manages to kill the boss in the video game. "For once, I feel like I'm prepared for this exam."

"Even though you always end up nailing it regardless, nerd," I snort, bumping her with my hip. She scoffs and steps on my foot. "Hey, hey, do you really want to start wrestling in here? We'll be banned and this is the only place we can play video games," I remind her, wincing at the sharp pain in my toes. "Fine, but don't underestimate me. I'm a mighty ball of fury condensed into a tiny body," she glares, setting down the controller when the sample ends. I set mine down, too, as she asks, "Do you want to try that one?"

I look at the console where she's pointing but freeze when I see a tall, tan guy with short brown hair facing away right beside it. "Uh," I start, panicking.

The whole point of leaving my house today was to distract myself from thinking of Lance. Now, he's here?

"Hey, are you alright?" Pidge asks, grabbing my elbow in an attempt to catch my attention. As she does, the guy turns around and I realize he looks nothing like Lance. He's hardly even as tall as him. "Do you know that guy or something?"

I exhale a sigh of relief and shake her off of me. "No, I thought I did for a second. Yeah, let's go play it."

Pidge follows me despite the unsure expression on her face. "Did that guy have something to do with your random call to hang out? Because you're acting really weird. You could've asked to hang out this morning on the way to class, but instead you call me hours later than that with a shaky voice and acting unusually happy. So either you were high on happy pills or something big happened and left you all shaken up," she says, stopping beside me at the new console but crossing her arms instead of picking up a controller.

"Pidge, really, I'm fine. It was nothing," I wave dismissively at her.

"So you weren't on some illegal drugs, I take it?" she concludes.

"What?" I ask incredulously.

"Well, Einstein, if you were high - which isn't something you would do - it most certainly wouldn't be in the early afternoon on a Thursday. Plus, you're too broke to buy drugs and I would kill you if I found out. So even though you're acting weird as fuck right now, I'm betting something happened and it was big enough to leave you shaken for hours.

"Now, are you going to tell me what the hell happened or should I just stop wasting my time and leave?" she demands.

I look away, furrowing my eyebrows. After a moment of contemplation, I cross my arms and mumble, "Okay, I'll tell you. But it's private, so I'd prefer to do it alone."

"Let's go, then," Pidge nods, unwrapping her puffy coat from around her waist and putting it back on. After a moment of staring at her incredulously, I follow her suit and zip my leather jacket back up over my hoodie. "Matt is working at his new job all night so we can go back to my place. He just went shopping, too, so we can find something for dinner there."

With that, we walk in silence the whole way to her apartment while I frantically find a way to explain everything to her.

She tries to lead me to her apartment building where I've been dozens of times only two blocks away but my long anxious strides carry me ahead of her. I open the door for her to the building and she hurries in ahead of me to the elevator.

We finally arrive to her apartment she shares with her brother which is much nicer than mine. We strip off our layers and she moves into the kitchen to scavenge for food. "I'll let you talk while I cook. No interruptions, I promise," she says, plucking a box of macaroni and cheese from a cupboard.

"Okay," I sigh. "But keep in mind the only person who knows about this is Shiro," I say before taking a seat on the island counter behind her. My first sentence causes her to visibly tense, but she keeps her promise of not interrupting. "I have a soulmate. We connected years ago and. . . Well, you know how I feel about soulmates. I get annoyed that I don't have a say in something involving my life, and this is pretty big. I'm able to see him through reflections when our connection is open and, based off what I've seen when our connection is open, his sense to me is taste. He's how I learned how to read lips and I constantly catch him gushing about having a soulmate to others when our connection is open.

"It makes me feel so guilty. He deserves someone who is just as enthusiastic about soulmates. Besides, he's way too good-looking for me," I laugh weakly, looking down at my hands. "But Shiro always tells me I should feel lucky and that I'm ungrateful.

"Anyway, today I may have seen him in person," I wince. Pidge turns around quickly in shock as she strains the noodles in the sink but is still silent. "Yeah, and I panicked an ran away before he saw me. Because my panic was so strong, the connection opened except I couldn't see him anymore. So he was really there, but I ran like a complete idiot! And now I have no idea what to do."

Pidge hands me a bowl of macaroni and cheese and leads me into the dining room. "Is that all?"

I sit down and rest my now pounding head on the table. I think for a second before saying, "Yeah, I think so. Go ahead."

"You're a dumbass," Pidge states simply, sitting across from me, "but I understand." I don't reply. I just groan loudly with my forehead resting on the table. I hear her sigh, "Look, Keith, I completely understand that you hate the whole concept of something greater tampering with your life, okay? But what I'm seeing is you letting that hatred keep you from realizing there has to be a reason you were paired with him."

I lift my head up and stare at her. "What do you mean?"

She chews for a moment while thinking of what to say. Once she swallows, she asks, "Have you ever heard any stories of soulmates who didn't work out? Soulmates who broke up, divorced, or separated because they just didn't fit together?" I shake my head in the middle of chewing after thinking for a moment. "Exactly. Unless one or both of them dies, soulmates stay together. I can tell you're sick of Shiro telling you how you should feel lucky, but I'm not going to tell you that. What I am going to tell you is you're choosing to give up an amazing opportunity of guaranteed happiness just to be a rebellious little shit to the universe. So take that, think for a while on what you think the smartest thing for you to do is, and just do it already," she concludes, shrugging and taking another bite of her macaroni and cheese.
I blink at her. "Damn, Pidge, who knew you could be so insightful," I muse. "Just think about your next steps, dumbass," she rolls her eyes. "Also, I'm offended you didn't trust me with this information before." I look at her apologetically but obey and take some time to think while I continue to eat.

I think about Lance, about how happy he might be if he met me as his soulmate, about us being together. I remember the times I've seen him cuddling with children I assumed to be relatives and even his roommate and how I would push away the yearn to be in their place. I remember the times I would be absolutely furious and the only thing that could help me calm back down was his comfort reaching out to me through our connection. He would be happy, right? Or would he hate me?
"Do you think he would hate me for knowing who he is without taking action?" I ask.

Pidge rolls her eyes again, "We just went through this. Of course not, soulmates don't hate each other. Even if he was mad, you two will get through it in the end. Just don't be stupid." I gnaw on my lip, ready to voice more of my concerns, until she casually asks, "So what's the weirdest thing that has happened to you and your soulmate? I don't know anybody who has one."

I'm taken aback by her sudden question but feel my face heat up immediately when I know the exact answer to her question. "That's none of your business," I mumble, shoving more food in my mouth and hiding my face in the bowl.

Pidge sits up straighter, face bright, "Nuh-uh, this has to be good if it's making you blush. You have to tell me now. What happened?"

I hang my head back, groaning into my hands that are covering my face, "Pidge, don't make me say it. Please. Have mercy."

"Nope. This is your payment for my counseling and my mac, now spill," she grins evilly.

I peek at her between my fingers before reluctantly dropping my hands. Knowing Pidge, she won't let this escape her. "Fine. It was sophomore year of high school when we first connected. It was really weird at first, naturally. One of the first few times our connection opened, Lance was. . ." I trail off and clear my throat, looking away. "Let's just say he was doing something that is common for horny high school boys to do."

Pidge bursts out laughing, hanging onto her chair to hold herself up. I scowl, my face growing warmer. "And you saw him jerking off?" she howls, "Oh my god! This is the funniest thing ever!"

"Yeah, yeah, laugh all you want, Satan, " I glare, flicking a cheesy noodle in her direction.

Eventually, her laughter dies down and she wipes her teary eyes. "Oh, man, that is freaking hilarious," she giggles. "So do you guys just have a silent pact now or something that you aren't allowed to do that anymore?"

"I fucking wish," I mutter.

"Wait, does he-" Pidge starts.

"Okay, I was done with this conversation five minutes ago," I interrupt, standing up. I walk away to put my empty bowl in the sink, hearing her laughter resuming behind me. "I need to head out now if I'm going to catch the bus," I say, checking the time on my phone, "I'll see you later, yeah?"

I turn to see her grinning ear-to-ear from laughing. "Sure. By the way, the guy I was studying with earlier, Hunk, invited me to a party tomorrow night with his friends. We should go."

"Sounds good," I nod, putting my jacket, gloves, and shoes on while she drops her own bowl in the sink. "Text me the info for the time and place. Oh, and Pidge?" I catch her attention, opening the door to leave. "Thanks."

It takes me over half an hour to get back to my apartment. I'm freezing and exhausted, but instead of passing out in bed I force myself into a hot shower with loud music in the background to keep me awake.

After I shower, I put my boxers on and brush my teeth. Once I've made sure I don't have any work due tomorrow, I finally head into my room, plug my phone in, and climb in bed under my comforter more than ready to sleep. However, thoughts from today crash into me full force, keeping me from sleeping.

I used to hate having to see Lance everywhere. Now, it's lonely not being able to see him. I feel our connection open because of my solitude.

He can sense it right away. As I lay in bed, I feel his comfort wrapping around my chest from behind like arms holding me. I relax in his not-so physical embrace, thankful for his solace, until an idea pops into my head.

A slightly dirty one.

I blush, remembering my conversation with Pidge and roll onto my back, nervousness pulsing in my chest.

"Screw it," I whisper, sliding my shaking hand underneath my boxers. A blush rises to my cheeks as I feel my soulmate's sudden surprise hit me and I grin smugly. "How does it feel to be on the receiving end?" I ask my empty room quietly. I decide it's also somewhat payback for the times he has done this to me at the most inconvenient times.

His surprise quickly turns to panic and slight embarrassment. I smirk, imagining him hurrying to excuse himself from his friends to hide in his bedroom, undoubtedly feeling the same warmth I do below his waist.

However, I'm startled a moment later when the same warmth is being reciprocated.

"Oh my god," I whisper, freezing as my face burns when I realize he's mimicking me.

Needless to say, it took a while before I was able to get some sleep.

"Pidge, I swear to God, I regret telling you anything," I hiss, pulling her back.

"Come on, this was your idea! I'm just ensuring you don't go back on your word," she rolls her eyes, still pulling my arm towards the diner.

I scoff, "All I did was tell you where he worked!"

While looking for a place to eat lunch, I may have made the mistake of telling Pidge that Lance works at this diner. Then, of course, she put together a plan for us to eat here so I could meet him, hence my ignored begs for us to leave.

"Yeah, but you thought it was a good idea to come eat here!" she points out, finally turning to face me.

"Initially!" I cross my arms, "Please don't make me do this."

Despite my desperate pleas, she puts her hands on her hips sternly until I reluctantly lead her inside.

"Welcome to the Lion's Den Diner, how may I help you?" a girl - who oddly has a British accent - asks as soon as we walk in. I nervously stare at the floor, trying to control my emotions so I don't accidentally open the connection with Lance in case he is here.

"A table for two, please," Pidge asks politely.

"Right this way," the worker instructs, leading us to a nearby table. Pidge and I sit across from each other as she informs us our waiter will help us soon.

Once she leaves, I risk looking up at Pidge to see smug smirk on her face. "So, what are you going to get?" she asks.

I glare at her briefly before practically burying my face in the menu. "I hate you," I grumble.

"Love you, too," she grins, looking at her own menu.

I take a deep breath and try to calm myself. I mean, what are the odds he's even working right now? They're slim, but not as much as the odds of him being our waiter, right? He probably isn't even here today, a lot of college students take Fridays off work. Maybe he left town for Thanksgiving break-

My thoughts are cut off by a voice saying, "Hello, I'll be your waiter today. The name's Lance. Can I get you two something to drink?"

And then, I'm coughing because I choked on my own spit.