Here we go guys. CH. 16. Seventeen will be up tonight or tomorrow. :)
'Renesmee don't !' I heard someone scream from the corridor. But as our eyes locked and I saw the fear in them, I couldn't help myself anymore. I needed this to survive. But before I could lean in and pierce her skin a cold hand grabbed me and pushed me to the other side of the wall. Golden eyes drilled in mine, trying to bring me back to my senses.
'Renesmee. Look at me!' He screamed, but my eyes trailed of to the woman who was lying on the floor now. 'Look at me, focus.' Edward said. He grabbed my chin and forced me to look him in the eye.
'You don't want to do this. You don't.' He tried to tell me. But my body was telling me otherwise, in fact I did want this. I wanted this very badly. The only thing that I wanted was to rip her throat out and…
'Renesmee!' Edward hissed. Absentminded I tried to focus on what he was saying. But her heartbeat was so distracting. Forcefully Edward dragged me out of the cell. Jacob come to us and handed me some papers. 'Sign these and we'll be out of here in no time.' He whispered.
I stared at the papers and wondered what name they wanted me to sign. Edward noticed my hesitation. 'Renesmee Cullen Mom and Dad are grounding you for at least a week.' He said to entertainment of the other police officers. But the hint was subtle enough and I signed the papers with Renesmee Cullen. I wondered if he indeed was planning on giving me house arrest, but that was for later care. First I needed to get of here.
'Sir I need you to fill in some more forms.' The man who drove me here said to Edward. Jacob grabbed my arm and led to me to the exit. The fresh air felt good, but it didn't took away my hunger. I was really losing it.
'Ness, are you okay?' Jacob asked worried.
The hunter inside of me was ready to strike, ready to make the kill. I didn't answer and Jacob wrapped me in a tight hug. 'I'm so sorry' He whispered in my hairs. But by pulling me in this hug my face was pressed against his chest, where his heartbeat was ringing in my ears.
"Get away from me' I said as I pushed him away from me. Startled he looked at me.
'Ren..' he said. 'I am truly sorry, please accept my apology.'
'Deputy Black, I just need you to sign off this release form.' Someone yelled from the door. Jacob turned around and in that second I run off. I rushed into the woods, letting the darkness and silence surround me. I had no idea where I was or where I was going, but I needed to get myself in control.
But even here there were so much smells, I could smell all kinds of animals. But there was one trail that peaked my interest. I sniffed up the scent: hikers. I kneeled down and noticed footprints in the wet sand. Good, they would be easy to track down.
'Renesmee..' I heard from behind me. It was a warning. I rose and turned around slowly.
His body language told me he was on edge. His eyes noticed every move ready to anticipate whenever he needed to.
'Come, I'll take you home.' He offered, trying to persuade me to follow him. But I didn't feel like going home, so I sprinted off. But he was fast, much faster than I will ever be. So within seconds he appeared before me, blocking my path.
'Get out of my way.' I growled. It wasn't possible to think straight anymore. My survival instinct kicked in. I just needed to feed, because I felt like I was dying.
'Let me help you.' Edward said. I swear to god, he was the most annoying person on this planet. I tried to shake him off again, but it was pointless. I could run as hard as I wanted, he would always be faster. He blocked my path again, making it impossible for me to hunt down my prey. Now that he could read my mind, it was impossible to surprise him anymore. He had the upper hand in everything right now. But there was one thing that gave me an slight advantage, the hikers where within reach. They were just a few meters away, Edward noticed it too and was calculating his chances in his head. Was he able to get me before I would rip one open? I glanced down and saw the reflecting of one of their flasks. I just needed to jump down and the all you could eat buffet would be open. I lifted up my foot, ready to make the jump. But Edward grabbed my arm and slammed me again the first tree he could find. He blocked me by grabbed both my arms and pinning them to a tree. I tried to fight him, tried to push him away. But he didn't move an inch. Disappointed I listened how the hikers walked out of hearing range.
'Get yourself together.' Edward hissed as he released one of my arms. But I was crazy with thirst and hunger. I seemed like that was the only thing in this world. Hunger. I couldn't think about anything else. Edward frowned and dragged me with him, heading back to the detention centre. When we encountered a deer, he released me and within a flash broke it's neck.
'Here drink.' He said, offering me the deer's neck. For a second I was in doubt, those hikers smelled so much more pleasant, I could still try to make a run for it. But I choose the deer, I knelt down and pierced through his skin with my fangs. As I sucked out the sweet red nectar, my body was relaxing a little. With every sip I felt more like myself. When the body of the deer was drained my hunger was satisfied and I let myself fall backwards. Pulling up my knees and hugging them, I kept staring at the deer.
'Feeling better?' Edward said as he sat down next to me.
'I never experienced it like this, it was like the hunger completely took over me. ' I whispered petrified.
'We'll have another look at your diet okay?, we'll make sure it won't happen again.' Edward shushed me.
'I really tried to kill those people, if you didn't stop me they would be dead by now.' I whispered horrified.
'Renesmee, it's fine. It happens the best of us.' Comforting words in a dark reality. Just minutes ago I didn't had control over my actions anymore. The dark hunter that was hidden inside me took over and turned me into a monster. I scared myself, I never knew I could become something like that. The scariest part of it all was that maybe, just maybe the hunting felt really good. It was felt natural, it was the best thrill I had ever had.
'I'm a monster.' I said more to myself than to him.
'We are what we choose to be. Today you decided to not become a monster when you fed on that deer. You always have a choice in what or whom you are going to be Renesmee.' Edward whispered to me. It was food for thought.
'Let's go home.'
I nodded and stood up. After I dusted off my jeans I walked after him. I completely forgot about my leg while I was hunting, but now that I was satisfied my leg start to hurt again. I didn't complain to Edward about it, I saw it as my punishment for what happened minutes ago.
We eventually arrived at the his Volvo and I opened the door and sat down on the passengers seat. Without saying anything he started the car and we drove off. I didn't feel the need to talk, I was ashamed of myself. But he tried anyway.
'It's okay. It happens to the best of us Renesmee.'
I didn't respond but choose to ignore him completely. I was able to think straight again and I was feeling like myself. But something changed. That dark side of me was lingering in the background. I could feel it's presence and I knew that one day it would try to get out again. But the worst past was that I knew that one day I wouldn't be able to stop it from happening.
I could feel Edward staring at me. I forgot about the fact that he was able to read my thoughts, now all my thoughts, feelings and secrets he was able to see right now. Now he could see that I was a failure, that I wasn't the girl they thought I was. I would never be the girl they hoped I would be, the kind, smart and witty little girl that they could let into their hearts. I was a failure. Edward decided that it would be best to leave me alone for a while. So we drove in silence until we were at the Cullen mansion. I got out of the car and walked straight upstairs. Locking the door behind me I saw down on the ground, I didn't bother to turn on the lights. The darkness around me calmed me. I sat there for I don't know how long, my muscles turned sore and my body longed for sleep. My mind however was still going over and over what happened. A knock on the door brought me back to reality.
'Renesmee open the door.' It was Carlisle. I hesitated I knew that I was still their guest and that I needed to obey their rules. But I just wanted to be alone for a while.
'Renesmee.' Carlisle said again. I sighted and unlocked the door. Slowly the door opened and he walked in. He softly closed the door behind him and sat down next to me. He said nothing, I said nothing.
'How's your leg?' He asked eventually.
'Fine. I'll live.' I answered.
'Can I have a look at it?' He said and stood up, he offered his hand to help me up and I took it. Swiftly he lifted me on my feet and guided me to the bed. He turned on the lights and inspected my leg. He got his kit and cleaned the wound again with medical alcohol which stung a little. Then he applied a fresh band aid. His hands worked fast and steady, he was done within minutes.
'How is the hunger?' he asked eventually after a long silence.
I chuckled. 'I can't do this. Not like this. Why are you being so nice to me? You should be mad at me, I fucked up AGAIN. I almost killed two people because I wasn't able to control myself.' I hissed. 'I failed today. Big time. I don't belong here, with your coven. You don't deserve this, being stuck here with me.' I shouted. I was raising my voice more and more out of anger.
'Are you done?' He said when I was done shouting. I just nodded. Slowly he grabbed my hand and pinched it.
'You are no failure Renesmee. You are just young, you have so much to learn but you will be fine. Sometimes we slip up, but in the end of the day it are our choices that define us. And you my dear made the good choice today. You don't have to do this alone Renesmee, we all have been there. We understand and we are going to help you.' He comforted me.
'But I tried to kill them. I couldn't stop myself. If Edward wasn't there I would have ripped their throats out.' I said with a heavy heart. My voice was bitter and I tried myself to hold back the tears. Carlisle pulled me in his arms and I wasn't able to fight the tears any longer. Hot tears rolled over my cheeks as he held me. I sobbed on his shoulder and he waited patiently until I was done. When I ran out of tears and my eyes were all puffed up I pulled myself from his embrace. He caressed my face one last time and left me alone. I undressed myself and crawled into my bed. Too tired to think about anything else I fell asleep hoping that tomorrow would be a normal day..