Tai's face was stern and Kari felt like a small child who had been caught with her hand in the cookie jar. He was a statue, staring at her with ice cold eyes. She tried to find a hint of care and love but she just saw anger.
"I-I'm so sorry Tai." She whispered and the tears started falling. She gritted her teeth. Whenever it came to confrontation she was always quick to cry. She recalled once when she was younger, a teacher had caught her doodling on the desk. She knew she had done wrong and yet as soon as the teacher asked her what had happened, the water works started. She was scared of people thinking less of her. Afraid to upset them or have them upset with her. Kari closed her eyes, her emotions running ramped. She took a shaky inhale,
"I just, didn't want to scare or hurt you." Her voice quaked and she tried to keep her breathing even. Tai stayed in his unwelcoming state and only his lips moved as he spoke,
"What? What's going on with you? Kari since we arrived in the digital world you have been so different." Tai shook his head,
"You are not who I thought you were growing up to be." He said sternly and Kari shook her head now mad,
"who am I supposed to be then?!" She countered,
"Tai you have been nothing but distant and plain mean to me since before the digimon even re entered our lives! Ever since you started your final year, I have become invisible! I thought you trusted me but you don't tell me anything anymore. I just seem to be in the way." Kari wiped her nose with the back of her hand and her eyes looked down at the couch cushion she was laying on. She picked at a loose thread as silence over took the siblings.
"I am sorry if I have ever made you feel like I don't care." Tai's voice was low and even.
"That was never what I wanted. I've just been so conflicted with where everybody wants me to be, where people think I should be and navigating what I want." Kari looked up and saw Tai look downwards and shake his head.
"I should have never taken my insecurities out on you." Kari sniffled and guilt started to set in. Tai continued to speak.
"Do you have any idea how much you scare me?" Kari went wide eyed. Tai let out a laugh and leaned back,
"I mean, Kari you are impossible to read! I never know what's going on! Worse of all is you are so secretive. It's a nightmare being your brother. You make it impossible to look out for you when I haven't a clue what's going on." He then put a hand up.
"Don't get me wrong Kar, you're the best and only thing that truly matters to me but still. It's no picnic trying to make heads or tails of you." Tai then smirked,
"this is my long winded explanation as to why I've been so distant. I have been trying so hard to figure me out, it bothered me sometimes being around you. You look at me sometimes like you know exactly who I am. Because you seem to know exactly who you are. It irritated me so much. I just was being selfish. I felt pressure being around you. Like I wasn't living up to what you needed or wanted. Like I was letting you down. The more I distanced myself from you the more I felt like you weren't effected by me. That I was only disappointing myself." Kari's mouth opened and her lips became dry as she breathed,
"Tai all I've ever wanted is for you to be there. Like you always have. You being you has always been more than enough for me." Tai smirked and grabbed one of Kari's hands,
"you're sweet to say that kiddo. I don't mean to be so hard on you. I just get scared that I'm missing something big about you. So when something happens, I get angry and yell or get stern because I'm mad at myself." Kari tilted her head,
"why?" Tai took his hand from Kari's and ran it through his hair,
"because I'm your older brother, I'm supposed to protect you." Kari closed her eyes and shook her head,
"Tai that's not on you. I have to be looking out for myself. You are supposed to love and support me. Not stop me or the world from crumbling. That's too much pressure on yourself." Tai nodded,
"I hear you Kar. It's just hard to think like that when I care so much about you." Kari gave her brother a comforting smile. She reached out to grab his hand and he accepted by giving her a gentle squeeze.
"I love you Tai." Kari whispered and Tai chuckled,
"it's the cheesiest four words but that just made me feel so much better." He stood and kissed her forehead and then released her hand. Tai let out a loud exhale and smiled. Kari beamed up at him, seeing the same mischievous and loving twinkle in her brothers eyes that had been missing for the past few months. Tai's face fell and he looked at Kari with a hint of fear,
"Kari?" Kari stopped smiling fearing what was coming next. Tai remained standing, "are you okay?" Kari sat up and pulled her knees to her chest. She slowly shook her head and whispered,
"no." She closed her eyes and soon felt her brothers arms around her. He stroked her hair while she softly cried into his chest.
"What is it?" He asked as if he already knew the answer.
"Leukaemia." Kari replied and She felt Tai stiffen. Kari felt her own tears stop as she waited for Tai to say something. The seconds ticked by and Kari felt more uncomfortable. Tai released his hold on his sister and stood.
"You, uhh, you..." he paced in front of her and looked anywhere but at her.
"You know it's crazy you should be in bed. What kind of parents don't come home? Do they realise they have two teenagers in the house alone? We could be throwing a house party for all they know?! We need milk. We need milk and we need stuff for lunches since we can't eat the poison mom cooks for us. You know what?" He walked over to the hallway and Kari watched him grab a jacket and a house key from the table.
"I'm gonna go get some food. You should stay there and don't answer the phone or the door while I'm gone." Tai turned and Kari got onto her knees and looked over the back of the couch
"Tai?" She asked softly and Tai turned and looked at her. He opened his mouth and then closed it.
"Porridge! That's healthy right? I'll get porridge!" He gave a smile that Kari could see right through and then turned and walked out the door.
Kari rested her chin on the back of the cushion. She wasn't sure she had done the right thing. Nothing felt right anymore. The phone rang and Kari slowly got up to answer it,
"hello?" She spoke softly into the receiver,
"you know you were supposed to call me but a guy can only wait so long." Kari smiled at the familiar voice,
"hi TK." She replied and TK was quick to jump into a light hearted remark,
"oh now you remember me? We share not one, not two but three intimate moments together and all is get is 'hi TK'?!" TK joked and Kari giggled,
"well it's not like you're the only one who was awaiting my call."
"Is that so?" TK asked and Kari laughed again,
"I have many gentlemen callers I must get through tonight so if you wouldn't mind wrapping this up I have to keep the phone line clear." TK laughed and Kari felt proud of herself for making him smile,
"I see how you play Kamiya. Well you're other suitors will have to wait. You're mine for at least the next ten to fifteen minutes." Kari giggled and wanted to forever stay in this moment. Bantering with TK and feeling light as a feather as he made her laugh. She looked to her right and saw Tai's shoes on the ground by the door. She sighed and frowned and TK was quick to notice,
"What is it?" He asked in a more serious tone. Kari pressed her lips together and then explained,
"Tai's shoes are here." There was a pause of silence before TK spoke,
"I'm guessing he left?" Kari nodded and then made an agreeable hum,
"mmhm, about five minutes ago." Kari let her bottom lip lower as her mind started to drift to the conversation her brother and her had had only moments ago.
"Did you tell him?" Kari closed her eyes, she was so grateful for TK. He could read her and knew when she needed a laugh and when to be serious. Most of all, he was able to prevent her from having to explain everything. She hated doing that and TK seemed to understand without her having to say much of anything.
"Yeah I did." TK sighed and Kari suddenly felt cold,
"tell me how he reacted." Kari nodded and then spoke,
"uhmm, it was strange. We were fighting and then he apologised for being so distant the past little while. He knew something was wrong and he asked. I told him, same way I told you." Kari furrowed her brow as she recalled his behaviour,
"he got all stiff and weird. He stood and then started rambling jumping from topic to topic with no rhyme or reason. He was like a child with too much sugar. Then he just started talking about needing groceries. He grabbed a key, a coat, and left." TK then let out a quiet laugh,
"without his shoes." Kari couldn't help but smirk,
"yeah without his shoes." She sobered as she started to worry,
"He's okay Kari." TK said clearly sensing her distress.
"You have done nothing wrong. He needs time to process. Kari sighed,
"what about you? You seemed to know exactly what to do when I told you." She countered and she heard TK chuckle,
"Kissing the girl of your dreams after she tells you she has cancer isn't what I would call 'knowing what to do.' It was more impulse." Kari felt a smile creep onto her lips,
"girl of your dream huh?" TK groaned,
"don't let that go to your head. I don't want a girlfriend whose head won't fit through the door since her ego is so big." Kari then smiled bigger and made a noise
"huh. So when did I become your girlfriend?" She asked her playfulness overtaking. "Oh have I not asked you?" He said in a deadpan tone that Kari knew he was playing in.
"I don't recall that ever being a question from you." She replied. TK hummed
"hmm, I suppose I might want to do that." Kari nodded,
"if you have time I mean I don't want to get in the way of all your fans."
"No, no we can't have that." Kari put a hand to her mouth as she continued giggling.
"I'm guessing you won't accept me asking you over the phone?" Kari laughed and shook her head,
"no way too easy!" TK laughed as well,
"right, yeah of course. Email then?" Kari laughed again and rolled her eyes,
"much better." She licked her lips and her smile faded as she looked at Tai's shoes once more. TK's voice came into her ear soft and more serious.
"He's okay Kari. You should go to bed though. Unless, are you okay?" Kari was quick to reply not wanting TK to worry anymore,
"of course, no I'm just worried about Tai. I'll be fine." She forced a smile hoping TK wouldn't hear the uncertainty.
"Okay, I'll meet you in the morning, okay?" Kari nodded relieved TK didn't press the matter any further,
"okay see you in the morning." She slowly let the phone slip from her ear and then placed it back on the base ending the call. She looked once more at her brothers forgotten shoes and whispered to herself
"please be okay Tai."