First of all: THANK YOU to every single person who left me an inspiring review to push through the bad. I can never explain what your kind words have done to me. I was extremely upset about some of the reviews I received and just knowing that my sweet, dedicated followers support me is something that makes my heart so full. So again, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for every single kind word, review, and message. Every single one of you are amazing. Now, what you really want to know. I have not abandoned this story. I actually have been writing a lot lately. Not just for this story, but for a new one I have as well! Bet you didn't see that coming. It will be a while before it is posted on FF, but just know there is something else in the works for your sweet little faces. Now on to the story, folks!
I put Will to bed and head to find Christian. He became less angry on the way home, but he is still cold towards me. I find him leaning against the kitchen island staring off into space.
"You're thinking too loud." I say to lighten the mood and smile at him. He doesn't buy it and continues to look ahead. I round the island so I am facing him and reach out for his hands. At first it seems he doesn't want me to touch him but he quickly grasps them back.
"So are you going to tell me what has your panties in a bunch or are we just going to play the quiet game?" I say with a smirk trying for humor.. I see his lips twitch and I know he is thinking about smiling. It quickly passes though.
"I think I'm going to head home." Is all he says while staring at my hands. Something must be seriously wrong for him to want to head home. I know he loves to be here all the time.
"Why Christian?" I stare at him hoping he will look at me.
"I just...I.." He can't seem to get the words out. I can tell his body is still tense and I decide to fix this. I round the island and pull on him so he is facing me. I do not like this tense, sulking Grey. I want my fun, happy man back. I hold onto his biceps while staring straight into his eyes.
"Stay with me. I want you to. I love having you here with Will and myself. I can tell something is bothering you. It's upsetting me that you won't tell me what it is. We have to talk Christian. You can't just be upset over something and leave me in the dark. Now, would you like to stay with me so we can talk about what is upsetting you? I won't stop you from going to your house if that's what you really want." I tell him while never breaking eye contact with him. He looks contemplative for a second. I know I've won when he pulls me into his warm body and I feel his erection poking me in the stomach. This man's sex drive is ridiculous. It causes me to giggle.
"How can you turn me on when I am so upset? Hearing you tell me that you want me to stay and that you love me has me rock hard, baby." And now my panties are wet. But before we can go in that direction we have to talk.
"How about we go put on our pajamas, crawl in bed, and talk?" I say while inching my way towards his face. He opens his mouth with anticipation for a kiss, but I plant my lips on his cheek instead. When I pull back he has a small smirk on his face. Finally, my happy man is back.
Once in bed, Christian is leaning against the headboard and pillows. I am sitting next to him but facing him. I have on his old Harvard shirt that he requested I wear with only the panties he picked out of my drawer. He has on just his pajama bottoms and it his hard to concentrate on the conversation we are about to have while his muscles are basically inviting me to lick them. Come on Steele, get it together.
"Alright, spill. I want to know what has you upset." He takes a deep breath and looks down. He reaches over and grabs my left hand. He absentmindedly plays with my fingers for a few minutes. He looks deep in thought and I wait patiently. He finally looks up and I see so much sadness in his eyes.
"I accidentally overheard your conversation with my mother, Mia, and Katherine earlier." He looks at my hand. He is rubbing his thumb over my ring finger. I am racking my brain about what we talked about. Then it's like a flashing neon sign in my head. We talked about my wedding dress and getting married. I'm broken from my thoughts by Christian speaking.
"I know that I should have just immediately walked in without paying attention to what you were talking about, but when I heard Kate say you were stunning in your wedding dress I froze. I willed my body to move, but it wouldn't move anywhere." He takes another deep breath and drops eye contact. He runs the hand not playing with mine through his hair. I'm about to speak when he cuts me off.
"I'm not even sure how to describe how I felt listening to that conversation. My heart broke. I felt like I couldn't breathe anymore. I could feel the tears stinging my eyes and I am not a crier. Then all I felt was rage by the end of it. I just wanted to punch the wall. Then on the way home it returned to sadness."
"Christian, please understand that I didn't start that conversation. I wasn't sure how to end it either without sounding rude. I felt very uncomfortable talking about my past to my boyfriend's mother and sister." I say with a shake of my head. I still cannot believe that happened.
"How about we talk through each thing that upset you?" I offer so we can get passed this. I need to know what specifically made him upset.
"You never want to get married again?" He looks almost close to tears as he says this and it makes my heart hurt even more. Then his face returns to an impassive one.
"Christian, you have to understand that before I met you I thought it was going to be just Will and I for the rest of our lives. I never imagined meeting someone or putting myself out there again." I internally debate telling him what I went through and how I fear going through it again. I decide to keep the really deep stuff for another day. "I just don't know how I feel about marriage anymore. It's hard to trust someone when they promise forever then throw it out the window when someone else comes along." I finish and look up at him. The sadness seems to still be there but I now see a hint of anger in his eyes.
"So you were willing to marry Ethan, but because he fucked it up you are just completely against the idea now." Christian says annoyed. I can tell he is agitated and his jealousy issues are coming out. I need to steer him clear of that thought all together.
"I am not saying no to the idea of marriage, Christian. I'm just saying right now I have no idea how I feel about it." I try to explain it a little better. I am getting anxiety just talking about marriage. He pulls me to straddle his lap and rubs his manly hands up and down my arms. I can feel the shiver run down my spine. Not now Steele, get through the conversation first.
"So... one day you'll marry me?" He asks so shyly it makes my heart melt. He is looking me straight in the eyes and I know he is being sincere right now.
"Christian..." I have no idea how to respond.
"I love you Ana. I know it's soon, but I just know you are the one for me. I want so much to take care of you and Will for the rest of your life." He pulls me closer to him and his erection is back with a vengeance. Does marrying me turn him on?
"What if I never warm to the idea of marriage? What if I decide being married isn't for me?" I need him to understand that I may never be able to get married again. He looks pensive.
"I want you to be a Grey. I would love for Will to be a Grey, but I understand that is not possible. I want... I want children with you Ana. I want more than I ever imagined with you." He strokes my face and looks confused by his own words.
"How about this - at the end of the summer, that's a good two months and some, we will talk about where we both are in this relationship. I will let you know if I have warmed up to the idea of marriage and you can tell me if you still want those things you mentioned earlier." I feel my whole face blush at this. Christian wants to marry me. Me out of all the people in the whole world. He wants to marry me and procreate with me. Procreate, Ana? I know I know. I'm a little thrown off from my normal vocabulary right now. Soft fingers slide down my cheek and I am brought back to the now. Now I'm the one who is getting weird stares. I wonder how long I've been quiet...
"Baby, you've been quiet for a while now. You okay?" Christian asks and I once again am questioning if he can read my thoughts.
"I'm fine. You didn't answer my proposition." He chuckles and tilts his head to the side.
"I did, but you must have zoned out pretty far. I said your proposition for the end of summer is perfect. It is just enough time to change your mind." He says with a wink and a huge smile on his beautiful face. I lean up to give him a small kiss on the lips. He tries to deepen it, but I pull back before he gets the chance.
"Mr. Grey, I believe we are not done talking. Now, what else upset you tonight?" I would really love to devour this beautiful man before me, but we need to finish this talk now.
"You still have your wedding album?" He looks shy as he says this. I immediately know this is not something that stirred his anger but his jealousy issues are coming through.
"I do. It is in storage somewhere." I say sweetly but shortly. I am going to let him maneuver this conversation.
"Why?" He scrunches up his nose as he asks. I stifle my giggle that wants to escape. He looks so cute when he does this.
"I'm honestly not sure. I guess I thought it may be something Will wanted to see one day. I had no intentions on getting married again, but I know Will may one day. I guess I was just keeping it around for him." I truthfully am not sure why this album is still in my possession. I know Ethan has the digital one – or had it. I'm not sure if he still does. Whatever Steele, Ethan is crazy about you and you know he still has it. I shake my head agreeing with my inner self.
"Okay…" Christian looks confused and I can tell he wants to say something. I raise my eyebrows at him and it causes him to speak.
"If we get married one day… will you throw your old wedding album away?" I can do this for him.
"I will. If that is something you want – I absolutely will." I tell him with warmth in my tone. I want this man to know how much he means to me and if it means discarding a photo album, I would happily do it. His smile is all the answer I need to know he is happy with my response.
"I think that was it." He states while wiggling his eye brows. Mr. Grey is ready to play.
"Are you sure?" I ask just in case. I want him to get all of this out of his system at this very moment. He tilts his head and I know there is something else.
"I feel like there is something else, but I cannot remember what it was." He tilts his head back down to look at me. His brows furrow and I want to kiss each of them. He chuckles and it catches me off guard.
"What is so funny, love?" I saw with an amused look on my face.
"I just realized this is how you feel sometimes. You are always on one topic then jump to the next. Then you forget what you were saying about the first topic." I swat his arm playfully. I have suffered from this for a long time. Isn't this normal?
"Making fun of me is not very nice Mr. Grey." His laughing slows down and he pulls me closer if possible. He nuzzles my hair and breathes me in.
"I'm sorry baby." He moves my hair out of the way and starts peppering kisses down my neck. He reaches where my shirt starts on my neck and I feel his hands grasp the hem. He slowly removes the shirt, all while barely touching my skin on the way up.
"I love you." He says so surely before he cuts off my response with a breathtaking kiss.
"We are going to get married one day." He says against my lips and he is kissing me again before I realize what is going on. When he pulls away from the current breathtaking kiss, I realize he has flipped us over so he is on top. My panties are off and his enlarged cock is rubbing my entrance. How did I miss all of that? He leans back down so his lips are against mine.
"Then we are going to have several babies of our own." At this point, I would probably just agree with him in order for his dick to penetrate me. I don't have time to respond because his lips are on mine before I know it and he has slowly entered me. I immediately arch my back at the sensation. He is so huge that I wonder if I will ever get used to him.
"God baby, you are so damn tight." He grunts in my ear and it starts the fire within me. We are nothing but two bodies moving as one. He is making sweet, sweet love to me. He is pushing so deep into me that I feel him hitting my womb.
"I.. fuck, you are so fucking perfect." He says while kissing me again. I know I'm close to coming undone in this beautiful man's embrace.
"Open your eyes baby." He commands softly against my lips and I immediately do.
"Come for me baby. Keep your eyes open. I want to see you come undone beneath me." He says while staring directly in my eyes. It is all I need to push my over that steep cliff. I keep my eyes on his the whole time and it is even more spectacular than I thought it would be. He comes as soon as my sex squeezes him when my orgasm hits. He stiff cock is pulsating in me and feeling his hot semen shoot in me spurs me into another orgasm. By the time I am down pulsating he is semi-flaccid inside me and he has collapsed on my chest.
"Is it always like this?" I am barely coherent right now as he asks this question. I am not sure what he is referring to. I stay quiet in order for him to explain. He pulls out of me, much to my dismay, and lies beside me. He pulls me into him and holds me so close. Our sweaty bodies are molding together and I am so content with that.
"Love making. Is it always so earth shattering?" He explains slightly out of breath. Without skipping a beat I answer.
"Christian, lovemaking with you is out of this world. I have never experienced something like this before. I love you." I say while kissing his chest. I can feel his smile against my forehead.
"I love you too, baby." I barely hear as I am already drifting off to sleep. I say my prayers thanking God for sending this man my way and for the sweet little boy down the hall. Life is so perfect. What could go wrong?
xoEW