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Itty Bitty Pretty One

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Dying was somewhat peaceful, truth be told. It had a finality to it, a general surrender to the realities of life. He wasn't afraid to die. Never had been. Everyone was going to die eventually so why fear it at all, right? Pain that once burned like fire had long since faded away into an icy numbness. Black filled the edges of his mind and the only thing he could hear was his own heartbeat. His breath came in gurgling, shallow gasps and all feeling left his being….at first.

Pain seared through his veins better than a branding iron, his mind conceding to the torment, unable to bring a thought to completion. He'd often prized himself in ignoring pain and just rocking on regardless, but that just wasn't possible right now. It owned him, dominating every thought. The pain wasn't sharp like a needle point or a knife, it burned around his innards better and hotter than boiling water. Everything felt scaled and, inability to move or not, he was in more pain than he could have ever imagined was possible and then…the world went black and the pain was gone.

Blinking sluggishly into the darkness, it took him a moment to realize that he was dead. Surrounding him were other beasts and humans alike – their forms mutilated and gaunt – much like his own must appear he mused. Their mouths hung open, their eyes vacant but clearly suffering and mourning their own demise. Death was a fate suffered by all men and demons alike. In that moment, he realized like he – like the rest of them – hadn't wanted to die. It seemed so foolish now that he hadn't feared it – he'd been in this very place many times before without feeling what he was feeling now. For fifty years, in fact, and times before that even. But oh, was he feeling now. Inuyasha felt the panic begin like a cluster of spark plugs in his abdomen. Tension grew in his face and limbs, his mind replaying those final moments and every regret suddenly flying through his mind a million times over. At least the last time, he didn't regret anything. Yes, he'd been killed by a woman he loved but he didn't regret that he had loved or even that it had ended the way it did. It sucked but he didn't regret anything. In fact, he'd been relatively at peace. This time though….

He regretted not telling Kagome how he felt sooner. That he'd kept her at an arms distance for so long. Hurt her so much. He should've done better by her. He regretted not being around to protect his friends or avenge the wrongs inflicted upon them. He regretted that he'd never have a family to call his own. He regretted that he'd never have another bowl of ramen. He regretted that he'd trusted his brother even for an instant. He regretted that he'd called out Kikyo's name and condemned her to a life of the undead. He regretted that he'd believed even for an instant that it was her who had attacked her. He regretted that he didn't end Naraku when he had the chance fifty years ago. Unlike last time, he regretted that he truly didn't regret any of what had happened between him and Kikyo. Not before. Not now if not for very different reasons. If none of that hadn't happened, he never would've known what unconditional love felt like. What it felt like to truly have a place to belong. What it felt like to have friends and rely on those friends. He would've never met Kagome. Oh yes, he regretted that he didn't regret some of those things. Not even a little. Not even at all.

As the gigantic demon of the underworld reached down with its enormous hand, Inuyasha felt a strange pull against his soul and he closed his unseeing eyes resigning to his fate before he realized he could hear his heartbeat, feel the wetness of his blood sticking to his bandages…his two dog-like ears twitching atop his head….the scent of Kagome's tears.

Blinking sluggishly up at the ceiling of Kaede's hut, he let out a rattling breath before realizing that everything was now in perfect definition. Lifting his hand to his throat, he could feel the now healing gash but also feel his claws grazing his sensitive skin. He was back. Alive and half-demon once more….and now being crushed by a incolsolable miko who was unabashedly placing butterfly kisses over every part of him within reach.

"'Gome, get off," Inuyasha managed to half-heartedly growl – the effort causing pain to ricochet outwards from the injury and an involuntary grimace to cross his face.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry," Kagome cooed hoarsely as she brushed some of the hair out of his eyes before she devolved into sobs once more, "You were dead. Sesshomaru killed you while we were dealing with Kagura and Kanna. You were dead."

Her voice broke on the last word before she buried her face in her hands and gently placed her forehead against his bare abdomen. Lifting his shaky hand to rest atop her head, he turned his head gently to stare at a very pale looking Miroku and arched a single brow.

"We had just managed to free Emi's family when…when Shippo and Emi smelled your blood," Miroku began hoarsely as he gave his friend a heartfelt look, "When we arrived, you had bled out. Your…your heart wasn't beating and Sesshomaru was gone. We…we took you here and as we watched over your….your body, your hair began to turn white and you began to breathe….I…I don't…."

Unable to say anymore, Miroku merely averted his eyes and let out a shaky breath before reaching out to clasp Sango's hand tightly. Furrowing his brow, Inuyasha looked at the others who all looked more than a little traumatized yet immensely relieved before he realized certain persons were notably missing.

"They've left," Kaede answered him solemnly as she followed his gaze and wrung out a rag before placing it atop his head, "They felt it was better to allow us to grieve in peace."

"I was dead," Inuyasha whispered quietly, "In the underworld. I was there."

This admission was all that was needed to have Kagome erupt into a new round of sobs as she lay out next to him and wrapped her arm gently around his stomach.

"I…I think Sesshomaru did something to replenish my youkai," he continued quietly – his voice rough and raspy from disuse, "I think he saved me."

"Couldn't he have done it in a way that wasn't so traumatizing?" Kagome managed to choke as she tightened her arm around his waist, "You were dead. You…you…."

"Do you think he used his sword?" Sango asked quietly to which Inuyasha shook his head, "I'm not healed. Maybe…maybe my heart just restarts itself or something."

"Have you ever died before?" Kagome asked quietly as she buried his nose into his neck. Shaking his head, Inuyasha turned his face slightly so he could relish in the scent he'd missed so much these past few days.

"Gods, Kagome do you know how much I missed your scent," he whispered quietly – casually avoiding her question as he inhaled deeply. Oh yes, he'd died before but somehow he always managed to come back to the land of the living. Maybe it was some aspect of hanyou physiology or maybe he was just lucky that way. It didn't matter anyway. He was alive and that was all that mattered.